Chapter Twenty-Nine: Now or Neverland
To be an adult is to be alone.—Jean Rostand

"Benny, if you don't get that dog out of here," Roger said warningly, "I swear I will kill it."

"You will not," Benny said, rolling his eyes. "Besides, what am I supposed to do with it if I don't keep it here?"

"I don't know, give it to Muffy—"

"Alison!"

"Whatever."

Benny glowered at Roger for a second, his jaw tight. "The dog's a Christmas present, Roger. I can't just give it to her now."

April sat on the couch with the puppy on her lap, playing with the fluffy little dog and trying her best to ignore the boys, although to tell the truth she was the only one not yet thoroughly annoyed by the Akita puppy. Not that she really blamed them for being irritated by the thing—it was high strung, and seemingly never stopped that high-pitched yapping, but still… "She's just a puppy, Roger. And she's only going to be here for a day or two more before Benny gives her to Alison. You can put up with her for that long."

Maureen eyed the puppy almost resentfully and muttered, "We don't want to put up with it. We want the thing gone."

With a sigh, April looked to her friend. "You people are not very friendly to animals," she commented.

"It's not an animal," Mark corrected. "It's demon-spawn. It's small, hyperactive and annoying, and it's demon-spawn. Like my sister's children."

April suppressed a laugh as best she could, and bit her lip to keep back a smile. At last, she gave in and grinned at him, shaking her head slightly. "She is not… Okay, she's hyperactive and a little annoying, but she's not demon-spawn. She's a puppy, Mark."

"An extremely irritating puppy."

"Alright, maybe a little. We can all put up with her for another day, can't we?"

Mark considered for a moment. "As long as you keep it out of my room."

"Why?"

He gave her a look as if she'd lost her mind. "I don't know, maybe because it's made a mess on the floor at least three times since Benny brought it in?"

"Oh, well… you've got a point." April scratched behind the puppy's ears. "Anyway, she's almost asleep now. Then we can just let it sleep and ignore it, okay?"

Benny sighed and sat down beside April, giving her a bit of a smile. He reached over and petted the puppy for a moment before pulling his hand back. April watched him for several seconds before asking with a bit of a smile, "Benny, why'd you get her a puppy if you don't like dogs?"

"It's not that I have anything against dogs," he muttered, "this one in particular's just a little irritating. If I'd known at the time, I wouldn't have got one. But… Ali's a dog person, so I thought…"

April laughed softly. "Brilliant, Benny. Just brilliant."

"Hey!" he protested. "I thought the puppy was a nice Christmas present."

"Of course," she said with a grin. "I'm sure she'll love it. Every little girl wants a puppy for Christmas, after all…"

"Thank you," Benny said, doubtless just glad to hear someone agree with him after everyone else had clearly announced their displeasure about having the animal in the loft.

Roger rolled his eyes. "Do you really have to encourage him, April? It'll only make him even more unbearable than he already is."

She snorted and gave him one of her "are you kidding me?" looks. "And this is coming from you?" She wasn't sure where the rancor had come from, but Roger's attitude was getting on her nerves.

His response did not help in the least, as he sat down on the coffee table, facing her, and muttered, "Well you're supposed to agree with me. I'm your boyfriend."

She stared at him for a second in silence, and then stood up, handing the puppy over to Benny as she did. "No, Roger, I'm not supposed to agree with you. Because I'm not your lapdog, alright?"

April stalked to the bedroom, and Roger started to get up to follow her. "April, wait, I really didn't mean—"

"I don't care what you meant, Roger," she said, turning around in the doorway. "I really don't. But you're getting on my last nerve. You can sleep on the couch tonight." She slammed the bedroom door closed hard enough to make the living room echo for a second or two with the sound of it.

The others sat there in silence, Roger staring at the closed door, the others awkwardly uncertain what to do. At last, Roger said softly, "She didn't even give me a chance to apologize. I did not deserve that."

Mark glanced at him. "I'm sorry, man, but… you kind of did."

"Shut up."

"God, what was he thinking, having a wedding in January? It's freezing outside," April said softly as she stood in front of the mirror in her room, checking her hair one last time before she went out. Freezing or not, she was still going to go—it was Benny, after all. Below-freezing temperatures certainly weren't going to stop him from going to his wedding. Anyway, it probably wasn't that much warmer inside the loft than it was outside, with the heat out—again, like it was every winter without fail.

At last, she stepped out of her room and looked for Maureen. The boys had already gone to the church, expecting the girls to follow behind, but… Maureen lay on her back on her futon, staring at the ceiling, in jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, not the dress she was supposed to have worn…

"You're not going," April said immediately. She didn't even have to ask—the determined, upset look on Maureen's face was all she needed to see.

"No, I'm not," Maureen said without even turning to look at April. "He's abandoning us to marry that whore. Do you think I'm going to their wedding?"

April bit her lip to keep from protesting that Alison certainly wasn't a whore, because with Maureen it was a useless argument. She sighed and walked over to the futon, sitting on the edge and frowning down at Maureen. "Okay, I know you don't like Alison, but can you at least go for Benny? He wants you there. You're his friend. And they're expecting you. Tom even came back for the wedding—don't you want to see him? Come on, just get dressed and let's go, please Maur?"

"I can see Collins later," Maureen said stubbornly. "I'm not going."

April sat there for a moment before sighing and standing up. "Fine. What am I supposed to tell Benny when you don't show up?"

"Tell him whatever the fuck you want," Maureen said softly, rolling over on her side so that she was facing away from April. "I don't care."

"Great," April muttered under her breath, and started for the door, silently running through the options of what she could tell Benny. None of them seemed particularly attractive.

By the time April, Mark and Roger got back home from the wedding, it was late, and Maureen gone, disappeared to God knew where. April was certain she didn't even want to know. April flopped down on the couch, leaning her head against the back of it and closing her eyes. When Roger sat down beside her, she leaned against him without opening her eyes, resting her cheek against his shoulder. She felt Mark sit down on the other side of her, and the three of them sat there in silence for a while, lost in their own thoughts. The entire loft just felt so… empty. It wasn't unusual for there to only be three people home at once, but it seemed to April at least as if she could almost feel the absence of Tom and Benny, now that they'd moved out. Her little family was shrinking, and faster than she would like to admit.

"So," April said at last, opening her eyes and lifting her head a little to look at the other two, "it's just us and Maur now, isn't it?"

Mark paused for a moment, thoughtful, and then nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."

April simply sat there before answering, her eyes unfocused as she thought over that. Just the four of them now. No Collins to look after her like an older brother, to keep the razors from her when she really needed him to (no matter how she'd hate him for it at the time), to tell her she could get through this and everything else. No Benny to joke with her, to give her that perfect, charming smile that made the world seem a little brighter, just for a second, to point out when Roger was being an ass, not with resentment or some ulterior motive like Maureen did, but simply standing by April no matter what. How could this really be home without them?

"Damn," she whispered at last, and dropped her head against Roger's shoulder again, closing her eyes and pressing close to Roger. It was as much of a response as she could manage at the moment.