-Hey everyone! How's everyone been? Ha ha...well yes I am here with yet again ANOTHER Sk fic...I know that I'm just doing way too many new stories and not updating my old stories but I can't help it XD I have so many new ideas.
Well I got inspired to write this story, after reading Resurie's story "Gangsta Shamans" for like the 10th time and I was laughing my butt off..and well this idea popped into my head and I hope if Resurie reads it she'll come back to FF and write her awesome stories Hope ya guys like chapter 1!
IMPORTANT NOTE: (I'll be posting this on all my stories) If you're planning on criticizing this chapter, don't bother. You'll be wasting you're time cause I won't read them. I didn't ask for someone to tell me that my story is "OOC" or to tell me that something's wrong with it. If you don't like this story, then stop reading it. Please don't try to tell me to change something cause I like my stories just the way they are. Sorry for sounding harsh, but I don't write fics to have them criticized because someone doesn't like them. I write fics cause I like to write them and because I like Shaman King.
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King and a lotta other stuff...like a cell phone...but I really want one XD
Everything was calm and peaceful in the small town of Funbari Hill.
It was a Wednesday morning and the sun was appearing over the horizon, invisible clouds of the night were now visible, and the birds sang their songs of the morning.
Yupp everything was peaceful.
Yoh Asakura, now 15 years old, was sleeping soundly (more like snoring loudly) in his bed. He still had a 15 whole minutes before he had to wake up and get ready to go to school (CoughyeahrightCough) So everything was perfect.
Yupp everything was quiet and peaceful until...
Yoh's bedroom door swung right open!
"YOH ASAKURA!"
Yoh lazily opened his eyes, and saw his 14 year old fiancée, Anna, rage fully staring at him right in the eye.
But wait...Why was he staring straight at her if he was supposed to be laying down asleep?
Yoh then quickly looked down on the floor and saw that his feet weren't on the ground!
He then felt a sudden searing pain scorching through his right ear and then it all made sense.
Anna had picked him up off of his bed by the ear and he was now dangling in mid air.
"Owww..owww! Anna what are you doing?" Yoh shouted.
"Oh I'm sorry...did I wake you up?" Anna said sarcastically.
"Uh yeah. Ya kinda did. But if you just let me go and let me fall back asleep we'll pretend this never happened kay?" Yoh chuckled.
"UUUUUGGGGHHHHH!" Anna growled. She listened to Yoh and then let him go.
She watched as slammed down face first onto the cold wooden floor.
There was a loud thud and a small yelp but that was about it.
"Thwanks awot Annwa." Yoh mumbled as he tried to pull his flattened face off of the floor.
"Oh I'm not gonna let you go back to sleep." Anna said as she placed both arms on her waist.
Yoh pulled his face up and sat up right on the floor.
"You're not?"
"No Yoh...Guess who I got a call from today?"
"Awww man...Did Hao wake up naked in the woods again?" Yoh asked.
"No you ass wipe!" Anna slapped Yoh on the head.
"Ow man! Stop hitting!" Yoh rubbed his sore head.
"No...I got a call from our school...and guess what good info they gave me?"
Yoh stared blankly at the floor not even paying attention.
"Yoh! They told me that you have over 150 absences!" Anna screamed.
Yoh's head suddenly shot up when he heard the number 150.
"HEY! They're freakin lying! It would have only been 126 if I hadn't gotten kicked out of class so many times!
...Uh...er...um.. I mean...I've never ditched a day in my life!" Yoh lied.
"Oh you haven't have you?" Anna said.
She then grabbed Yoh by the ear again and began to drag him across his bedroom.
"OOOOWWWW! NOT THE EAR AGAIN!" Yoh cried.
Anna dragged Yoh to his closet, threw some clothes on him, dragged him to the kitchen, slammed 5 waffles into his mouth and then dragged him out the door and let him fall face first onto the cement sidewalk.
"OUCH MAN! How many times are ya gonna do that?" Yoh cried as he pulled his face off the cement floor.
Anna just stared down at him for a while and then began to walk away.
"Come on Yoh...you're going to walk with me to school today. And I'm going to make sure that you get to all of your classes!" Anna screamed.
"Aww man..Come on Anna I'll go to all my classes today I promise!" You pleaded.
"Yeah well your promises don't mean crap." Anna replied.
"Come on Anna...It's not like they were teaching me anything anyway! I wasn't learning a damn thing!" Yoh replied.
"Yoh...I am not going to be the Shaman Queen of a lazy slob that can't even pass the 10th grade! Now education or not you're gonna go to school and you're gonna graduate got that?" Anna reminded him.
"Awwww..." Yoh moped. He lowered his head and lazily walked behind Anna.
"Man I could have had 15 minutes more of sleep. Instead I'm being lectured by the Bitchy Queen." Yoh muttered to himself.
Anna suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned to Yoh.
"Uh I didn't mean that!" Yoh shielded his face as he thought Anna had heard what he said.
"That reminds me...Officer Henry called yesterday and he told me that he caught you smoking pot behind the school again." Anna said surprisingly calm.
"Uh...Awww Anna...it was just random a guy who handed me a joint and made me smoke it. It was a one time thing and I'll never do it again." Yoh said trying to get out of another lecture.
"Hmmm one time thing? Then why did Officer Henry say that he caught you smoking...AGAIN?" Anna screamed making Yoh fall onto his hands onto the cement floor.
"Ahh...uhhhh...ummmm...I uhh...you see...the thing is uh..." Yoh suddenly shot up off of the floor.
"That cop is so out to get me! He's been gettin me into trouble since the 9th grade!" Yoh quickly lied.
"Yeah sure...everyone's out to get you aren't they Yoh?" Anna arched her eyebrow.
"Yeah I know huh? Man what's everyone's problem? I'm just a good 15 year old kid trying to make it through life. Why can't people see that? What a shame." Yoh shook his head.
"Shut up Yoh" Anna said. "Now hurry up...I wanna make sure that you get to school on time." Anna kept walking.
Meanwhile...Horo Horo, Yoh's sorta nerdy and yet retarded accomplice, was already waiting by the entrance of their high school by the door when Yoh and Anna strolled up.
Horo Horo saw Yoh being dragged by the ear and he knew that Yoh had gotten into trouble.
Anna and Yoh walked up to Horo Horo and Anna let Yoh fall onto the cement once again. Yoh began to twitch uncontrollably.
"Oh...Uh...Hiya Anna." Horo Horo said innocently.
"Hmm...well if it isn't Horo Horo." She responded.
Anna suddenly grabbed Horo Horo right by his shirt and pulled him to her face.
"Listen to me Horo Horo. I want you to do me a little favor. I want you to make sure that my worthless fiancée makes it to all his classes ya got that?" Anna said as she pointed to Yoh who was still twitching on the floor next to them.
"Uh yeah sure thing Anna...No problem." Horo Horo chuckled trying to hide his fear.
Anna let Horo Horo go...scoffed and then proceeded to walk into the school.
"Phew." Horo Horo then went over to Yoh, helped him up off of the ground, dusted him off, and took all of the ants that had gotten into his hair.
"Lemme guess...Anna found out you've been ditching huh?" Horo Horo asked.
"Yeah...she lectured me the whole way over here how I need to get my education...not be a slob...that I'm gonna get punished...blah blah blah...I tuned her out most of the time so it wasn't that bad." Yoh said.
"Hmm so I guess you're gonna start working harder and go to all your classes huh?" Horo Horo asked.
"Hmm...Nope." Yoh said with a big smile on his face.
Horo Horo's jaw dropped. "WHAT? But I thought Anna was gonna kill ya if you ditched again."
"Pst...yeah right. I'm not gonna let Anna tell me what to do. Yeah she's my fiancée and all, but I'm the MAN of this relationship!" Yoh assured him.
"What relationship? You can't even hold Anna's hand without getting a kick in the nuts!" Horo Horo said.
"Yeah maybe so...but that's all gonna change when we get older. I mean we're gonna get married soon...so I'm gonna see her everyday, I'll have to get a job, she's gonna run my life, she'll get most of the money I earn, I'll have keep doing my training, and she's probably not gonna give me any at night, and I'm gonna die alone and..."
Yoh then burst out crying and put his head on Horo Horo's knee.
"I'm screwed man!" Yoh cried.
"There, there man...you still have a good two/three years of freedom left." Horo Horo tried to comfort him.
Yoh's head suddenly shot up and he stopped crying.
"Yeah good point...so wanna go ditchin with me today? I'm outta pot and I gotta meet a guy to get some more." Yoh said with his stupid trademark smile on his face.
"What? We can't ditch today! We got 4 tests to take!" Horo Horo said.
"Well we're not gonna have to take 4 tests if we're not there, Stupid!" Yoh said. "My god...Why am I always the one that has to think around here." he scoffed.
"Ugh...come on Yoh. Go to class at least once. You don't even know where half of your classes are!" Horo Horo shouted.
"Yeah and I don't wanna find out either. What'dya say Horo Horo? Wanna go and smoke a joint with me?" Yoh asked.
"Pst...No way. You know I don't do that stuff no more." Horo Horo scoffed.
"What? You only did it once! And you only took like 6 puffs!" Yoh shouted.
"Yeah and after those 6 puffs I got arrested for running naked in the park scaring children saying 'Come on kids look what I can do'!" Horo Horo shouted.
"Everyone does something stupid there first time." Yoh said.
"Man whatever dude. I'm not going."
"Awww come on Horo Horo! Just one more day! Remember what you said I only have two more years of freedom! And those years are gonna fly by and then what?
I'm probably gonna end up behind the counter of a burger stand and you behind a toilet brush. We need to live before those 2 years are up Horo Horo! Come on...we're homies...just one more day." Yoh pleaded.
Horo Horo thought for a moment.
"Ugh fine..alright...but this is the last time got that?" Horo Horo said.
"Alright! Come on...the house is just a few blocks away." Yoh started to walk.
"Wait what house?"
"The house where I'm gonna get my pot from duh!" Yoh said. "Man you're supposed to be smarter than me Horo Horo what's the matter with you?"
Horo Horo simply shook his head and walked behind Yoh as they walked across the parking lot and off of school grounds.
Meanwhile, Anna had made it to her locker, put all of her books away and then came across a snobby little group of sluts that she never got along with.
Nina, Mina, and Gina.
They were known throughout the school as "The three little hoes."
All three girls turned and saw Anna, and knowing her fiancée's reputation of being a dumb, ditching, pot head..they all laughed when they saw her.
"Ha ha! Hey Anna! Where's your pot head of a boyfriend?" Mina laughed.
"Yeah did he make it to school today or did his leash get caught on a fire hidren again?" Nina laughed.
"Oh ha ha ha ha...that is so funny." Anna laughed sarcastically.
"Hey Nina? I'm surprised you came to school today. Shouldn't you be at some street corner with your skirt over your head yelling at passing cars 'Come on guys. I don't even charge anymore!'" Anna said.
All three girls immediately shut up.
"Yeah...Next time you wanna say something stupid, think about it first." Anna smirked. She then whipped her hair behind her and walked away.
"Sheesh...what a tramp." Mina said.
"Yeah she's even trampier then...then...then us!" Gina said.
"Yeah! So true." All three girls laughed until they suddenly realized what Gina meant. They all turned and looked to her.
"Hey what's that supposed to mean?" Nina and Mina asked.
"Uh...uh...I dunno...it just slipped out." Gina laughed.
"Yeah I guess..Happens to everyone...Come on girls let's go flirt with the janitor." All three girls then walked away.
Meanwhile, (ha so many meanwhile's huh? XD) Ren the gangster who was known throughout the school as being a bad ass who played by his own rules, was leaning on the railing, staring down the gray ramp that went down to the first floor of the school.
He had a cigarette in his hand but no teacher seemed to care. Some even lended him a lighter!
Pilika Usui...Horo Horo's younger sister who was so obsessed with Ren that she even made a shrine for him in her locker, saw him standing by the railing and immediately hid behind the door of a broken locker.
"Omg it's Ren! Ahh...I just know that today's gonna be the day I make him mine!" She blushed madly.
Pilika had tried everything before to try to get Ren to notice her.
She came dressed differently almost everyday.
She tried different hair styles.
Different perfumes.
Different shoes
She even came dressed as a gangster once...but none of that ever worked.
Ren never noticed her.
But this time she knew that Ren would notice her...she just knew it.
No guy could not help but notice her today.
Pilika came wearing a pair of tall black heels, and really short black skirt, a light blue tank top that exposed her belly button, she wore lipstick and had her hair curled. No guy would be able to resist her.
"Okay. Remember. Act cool." Pilika reminded herself. She fixed her skirt, bounced her curls a bit, took in a deep breath, and then started to walk sexily towards Ren Tao.
She made it towards Ren and took in another deep breath.
"Ahem! Well hey there, Sexy." Pilika said in a sexy voice (or so she thought) "Wow I really love the shirt you're wearing." Pilika grabbed a corner of Ren's shirt and felt it through her fingers while puckering her lips.
Ren slowly lifted his head, looked Pilika up and down, and then took another puff of his cigarette.
He then blew cigarette smoke right at Pilika's face and then opened his mouth to speak.
"Yeah...I like my shirt to." He answered.
Pilika's jaw dropped. She couldn't believe she failed again!
Outside of the school, ditching, was the wanna be gangster, Lyserg Dithel.
He knew that Hao Asakura, one of the biggest bad asses in the whole school, hung out around the front of the school all day.
Lyserg had completely forgotten that Hao had killed his parents when he was little and now actually idolized Hao and tried his best to be just like him. Although it never worked.
Lyserg was carrying his over sized school books tightly in his arms and pulled up his high water pants.
He spotted Hao sitting in the grass a few feet from the front door and immediately ran over to talk to him.
"Whoa! Hey what up...homie? What you been up to dawg? Gonna kill someone today?" Lyserg tried his best to act like a gangster (Let's just say he was no where near acting like one.)
Hao slowly lifted his head and looked up at Lyserg.
"No...I'm just sittin under a tree." He replied.
"Whoa. Aiight man. That kuu...You plannin to blow somethin up?" He asked.
"No...I'm just starin at that stop sign over there." Hao pointed to the stop sign at the end of the school parking lot.
"Whoa...okay okay...Waitin for someone to stop at that stop sign so you can go and steal their ride?" Lyserg asked.
"No...I'm just starin at it." Hao said.
"Whoa man...that is so awesome..Mind if I sit here and...chill?" Lyserg asked.
"Whatever dude. Just don't piss me off."
Lyserg sat down next to Hao and stared at him continuously for almost 15 minutes. Hao was starting to get pissed off.
Meanwhile, Yoh and Horo Horo were walking down the street completely silent.
None of them said a word.
(Silence)
Finally Yoh broke the silence when he noticed Horo Horo's shoes.
"Wow...new shoes?" He asked.
"Nah I just washed my old ones."
"Wow they look new." Yoh said.
"Yeah."
(Silence)
"Man I can't wait till I get my pot." Yoh smiled.
"Do you have the money?" Horo Horo asked.
Yoh thought for a moment and then laughed innocently while turning to Horo Horo.
"Awwww no! No way am I gonna pay for it again! Last time they tricked me remember? They were supposed to give me pot and they just gave me a bag with dog shit in it!" Said Horo Horo.
"Aww come on Horo Horo! That just means that they like ya! Come on buddy! This is the last time I promise! I'll try and find some money next time."
Yoh said as he put his arm around Horo Horo's shoulder.
"Tell ya what...I'll pay for it if you get your arm off my shoulder right now." Horo Horo proposed.
Yoh thought about it for a moment
(1 hour later)
He shook Horo Horo's hand.
"Deal!"
Author's Note:
Wow I have so many ideas in my head right now...but I had to cut the chapter here or it'd be too long XD
So what'd ya guys think?
I thought that it was about time that I did a fic that was just funny, and with no plot at all, instead of those serious love stories that I always do. I hope you guys liked it.
I'd really appreciate your review and I hope you'll be back for chapter 2! Love you all! Bye!