-Hey guys! Agh, sorry for updating this story so quickly, but I just had to!
I love this story and it really makes me hyper (And as a lot of you guys know, I love gettin hyper)
So enjoy this...weird..and crazy Chapter of Funbari Gangstas!
Disclaimer: I don't own Shaman King, I don't own a cell phone, I don't own a license, and I don't own a car...wanna know anything else? XD
Lyserg lagged behind Hao as they both walked down the street towards the Seven Eleven.
Hao sighed repeatedly as he heard Lyserg behind him panting and groaning after they had only walked one block.
"Ey dawg?" Lyserg panted.
Hao stopped and turned around. "What?"
"Man, I ain't gonna make it homie." Lyserg said as he collapsed onto his knees.
"Agh don't act stupid." Hao began.
"No man..seriously, I ain't gonna make it." Lyserg insisted. "You gotta go on without me."
"Yeah whatever. You damn moron." Hao shrugged.
He began to walk away, but stopped when Lyserg grabbed onto his leg.
"No man. You can't stay here wit me, you gotta keep goin. Keep fightin. Tell my grandma I love her." Lyserg begged.
"Man. Get off my leg!" Hao shook his leg furiously, but Lyserg wouldn't let go.
"I know it's gonna be tough, but you gotta leave me behind." Lyserg barreled on. "You've got your whole life to live ahead of you, just go!"
"Let go of my leg right now." Hao advised.
"I can't man. I just can't." Lyserg cried.
Hao suddenly pulled out a hand gun and pointed it straight at Lyserg's head.
Lyserg's eyes shot open and he immediately let go of Hao and stood up with his hands in the air.
"Aiight man. Aiight. I'm fine, I'm gonna make it." Lyserg responded.
Hao arched his eyebrow and then placed his gun back...back...well back from where he took it out from XD
"Man you need to quit actin stupid. If you keep doin shit like that, I'm gonna have to break our deal, and by the end of the day, you won't be alive anymore." Hao mentioned.
"Aiight. Okay man. Sorry, I was just trying to make you laugh that's all ya know?" Lyserg explained.
"Stuff like that doesn't make me laugh. Stuff like people begging for their lives, parents pleading for their children, now that makes me laugh." Hao made clear.
"Alright. Stop being a cry baby now. We're here." Hao pointed to the store which was right across the street.
When they had both made it to the front door, Hao stopped suddenly and turned over to Lyserg to explain the entire situation.
"Okay. Now wait here. I'm gonna go in real quick, get me a slushy, maybe steal some beer, and then I'm outta there alright?" Hao explained.
"Well why can't I go in there with ya?" Lyserg asked, confused.
"Cause I don't want people seeing me hangin around a damn sissy like you." Hao answered.
"Oh...okay that makes sense."
"Alright so stay here and don't do anythin stupid okay?" Hao asked.
"Aiight homie. I'll just stand against this wall and watch some fine lookin broads, know what I'm sayin?" Lyserg chuckled.
"Yeah...you do that." Hao replied sarcastically. He then opened the door and walked into the store.
Lyserg leaned himself against the brick wall and began to look around.
His eyes suddenly shot open as he saw a young blonde female step out of a car wearing a short skirt, tank top, and high heels.
A huge grin grew upon Lyserg's face, and he just couldn't resist the chance of meeting the young female.
"Well, well, well. What do we got here? What's cracki-lackin baby?" Lyserg asked. "You be lookin MIGHTY fine today."
The young girl arched her eyebrow and didn't say a thing.
"Hey. Well I'm Lyserg-Drug-Dealin-Dithel." Lyserg stretched out his hand.
The girl simply rolled her eyes.
"Oh. So I see that we got us a shy one. Well I like shy women." Lyserg replied.
"Carlos!" The girl finally called.
Just then, a tall, heavy built man, with piercings covering his entire face, stepped out of the same car, and turned over to his girlfriend.
"What's the problem?" The man spoke in a very deep tone hinting that he was a very serious person.
"This wanna be gangsta over here's messin with me, kill him babe." The girl simply ordered.
"Alright." The man responded as he pounded his fist back and forth into his palm.
Lyserg swallowed deeply as he saw the heavy man approach him. Quickly he thought of an excuse.
"Okay, okay, there's no need to start a fight or nothin. We were just talkin. And besides, your girl friend was hitting on me!" Lyserg quickly accused.
"You callin my girlfriend a liar?" Carlos asked.
"Well no, I mean, I'm just saying that she's not being very truthful, she was hitting on me and so, she's not really telling the truth." Lyserg smiled innocently.
"Yeah and so she's a liar?" Carlos summed up.
"Well uh...I'm sorry I don't know what that word means." Lyserg lied.
Suddenly, the man jumped right onto Lyserg and began to beat him down right in the parking lot.
Just as Hao paid for his slushy and began walking towards the door, he saw a large man in the parking lot beating up what seemed to be a leprechaun.
Hao knew that it could only be one person.
"Lyserg." He sighed. Hao quickly stuffed his change into his pocket and ran out the door.
"No please stop! Ow that hurts! Hey! Put those back!" Lyserg cried.
Hao calmly walked over to the large man and tapped him once on the shoulder.
"HEY! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TAPPIN YOU LITTLE..." The man turned and whimpered suddenly.
Hao had taken out his gun and was pointing it at the man's head.
"I think I'm tappin a fat ass pin cushion who's fightin with a complete stranger that I've never met before." Hao replied.
The heavy built man immediately stood up off of Lyserg and kneeled down before Hao.
"Oh Mr. Hao Asakura. I'm terribly sorry. I didn't know that this troll here was a friend of yours." The man apologized.
Hao clicked his gun.
"Hey. What did I say? I don't know this damn gnome you got that?" Hao clarified.
"Oh yes sir. My apologies. Please...please don't hurt me." The man pleaded.
"Just get your fat ass outta here before my finger slips and this bullet flies right into yo head." Hao warned.
"Oh yes sir. Right away sir, I'll just be on my way now." The man dusted himself off and walked back over towards his car.
The young female watched as her boyfriend cowardly stepped back into the car.
Once she had noticed that it had been Hao Asakura that had caused her boyfriend to cowardly walk away, her eyes shot open.
"OMG! IS THAT HAO ASAKURA?" The young girl squealed in excitement.
"Yeah it is." Carlos replied as he put his keys into the ignition and started the car.
The girl stepped back into the car and closed the door.
Just before they drove off, the girl rolled down her window and shouted.
"OMG HAO! YOU ARE SO HOT! I LOVE YOU!" She cried.
Hao had been scrapping Lyserg off of the cement, when he heard the girl scream.
"Yeah whatever, hoe." Hao scoffed.
Hao proceeded to help Lyserg up off of the pavement and dusted him off.
"Whoa. Thanks a lot. Man that was close one." Lyserg replied as he tried to regain his posture.
Just then, Hao lifted his fist and slammed it right into Lyserg's left cheek.
Lyserg collapsed backwards onto the pavement and dashed his hand up to his face.
"Ow man! What the heck was that for?" He asked.
"That's for actin stupid. What did I tell you? I told you not to act like a damn idiot!
I go into the store for 5 seconds, come back out, and see you gettin yo ass beat in the parkin lot. What the hells the matter wit you?" Hao asked.
"Alright, alright. I made a mistake. I'm sorry." Lyserg apologized.
"Yeah you better be sorry...I ain't gonna be saving your puny little ass all day, so you better start actin like you're 5 years old at least." Hao ordered.
"Now come on. I gotta meet a guy about somethin." Hao started towards a large apartment complex just across the street.
"What you gonna do? You gonna get some cash, liquor or somethin?" Lyserg asked he followed Hao closely.
Hao took out a small knife from his back pocket and twiddled it between his fingers.
"Nah, nah. Somethin more serious." He simply replied.
Lyserg gulped.
Meanwhile, back to wherever Yoh and Horo Horo were going, it had been almost 2 hours and the two were still walking around practically getting nowhere.
Finally, Horo Horo had had enough and decided to confront Yoh.
"Yoh. It's already been two hours and we're still walkin down the same street we were on an hour ago.
God we've only made it down two houses! Are you sure you know where this house is?" Horo Horo asked impatiently.
"Hey calm down alright. We're almost there. And hey!
We would have made it down 3 houses if you hadn't taken a dump behind in those bushes at that house!" Yoh argued.
"Hey! I told you I had to go! And if you had let me gone to the bathroom back at school, none of this would have happened." Horo Horo crossed his arms.
"Yeah whatever. All I'm saying is, I don't think those people are gonna be too happy when they see a 50 foot crater in their backyard." Yoh shrugged.
"Hey it wasn't that big! You exaggerate too much." Horo Horo scoffed. "It was like 20 feet at the most."
Yoh simply rolled his eyes.
"Alright. Will you quit whining now? You're distracting me." Yoh explained.
"Oh yeah whatever. You're just makin an excuse cause you can't find the damn house!" Horo Horo shouted.
"Yoh? Is this house you speak of even real?" He questioned.
Yoh swiveled around suddenly.
"What are you talkin about? Of course it's real you moron..well..at least...I think it is." Yoh responded.
"Oh my god. This had better not be another little house that you hallucinated about while you were high." Horo Horo warned.
"No. It's real. I'm positive." Yoh answered.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Cause I told you, I only hallucinate about women, pink unicorns, and purple leprechauns." Yoh replied.
"Oh yeah."
Just as Yoh had been talking, a large man who seemed about 25 years of age, heard Yoh speaking and called out his name from a garage in a small house at the very end of the block.
"Oye!" (Translated from Spanish: "Hey!") The man called.
Yoh looked over and saw the man standing in a garage down the block. He waved back and then turned over to Horo Horo.
"See I told you it was real. There's Fernando now." Yoh replied enthusiastically.
"Fernando? Who's that?" Horo Horo questioned.
"He's the man that's gonna give me my pot." Yoh replied. "Come on let's go."
Yoh and Horo Horo proceeded to walk over towards the small white and pink house. (A/N: As you can see it's a very manly house XD)
"Que onda, Fernando?" (Translated: "What's up, Fernando?") Yoh spoke in Spanish.
"Hola Yoh. Ey...porque no estas en la escuela?" (Translated: "Hey Yoh. Hey? Why aren't you in school?")
Yoh wasn't very fluent in Spanish, seeing as he never went to his Spanish class, and so he had no idea what Fernando had just asked him.
"Uh...si? (Translated: "Uh...Yes.") Yoh simply answered shrugging his shoulders.
"OMG you're such a retard. Come on get over here, foo." Fernando finally replied in English.
He led Yoh and Horo Horo both into the open garage where he and some of his other friends had been hanging out.
They had been all sitting down on simple wooden chairs, watchin the tv, and drinking beer.
Fernando turned around suddenly when he saw Horo Horo.
"Hey you're Horo Horo right?" Fernando asked.
"Uh yeah." Horo Horo answered.
"Oye! Miren! Es el puerco espín, azul!" (Translated: "Hey! Look! It's the blue porcupine!") Fernando shouted to all his friends.
"Ey! Puerco espín, azul! (Translated: "Hey! Blue porcupine!") Fernando's friends shouted.
"Uh...what did he say?" Horo Horo whispered into Yoh's ear.
"Oh he just said...Hey looks it's the blue porcu-- uhhhh I mean he said hey look it's that cool guy that hangs out with Yoh." Yoh lied.
"Oh...aiight cool." Horo Horo grinned with pride.
"Como estas Chico?" (Translated: "How are you, man?") Fernando shook Horo Horo's hand.
Horo Horo had no idea how to respond.
"Yoh...help me out...What do I say?" Horo Horo whispered into Yoh's ear.
Yoh being the evil and idiotic person that he was, whispered something completely different into his ear.
Horo Horo being the retard that he was, listened to Yoh and replied.
"Hola pinche gordo pelon." Horo Horo grinned. (Translated: "Hey f--- bald fat ass.")
Suddenly, Fernando's eyes shot open, his nostrils flared to an immense size, and he tightened both of his fists.
Just then,
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Horo Horo and Yoh both ran down the street as fast as they could and stopped to take a breath near a stop sign nearly two blocks away.
They had been running for their lives as Fernando chased them both down the street with a large metal bat.
"Whoa. That was close! What the hell did I say?" Horo Horo asked as he placed both hands on his knees and breathed in heavily.
"I dunno. Something about him being fat, bald...yeah something like that." Yoh panted.
"Why did you make me say that you idiot!" Horo Horo hit Yoh on the forehead.
"I had to." Yoh replied.
"That's not a good answer!" Horo Horo shouted.
Yoh suddenly pulled out a wrinkled brown paper bag from his back pocket and dangled it in front of Horo Horo's face.
"What's this?" Horo Horo asked as he snatched the bag and opened it up.
"Weed?"
"Yeah. I snatched it from a table in the garage, while Fernando was shouting at you in Spanish.
His friends were paying so close attention to him screaming, that they didn't even see me slip over and snatch it from the table." Yoh grinned finally regaining his posture.
"What? So that's why you made me say that?" Horo Horo asked.
"Yeah I needed a distraction ya know. And hey! You should be thankin me! At least you didn't waste any money!" Yoh shouted.
"Yeah whatever." Horo Horo threw the paper bag at Yoh's chest. "Where we goin now?"
"I dunno. Let's go to the park and smoke these joints." Yoh suggested.
"Oh no way am I smoking that stuff. I told you I don't do that anymore." Horo Horo said.
"Oh come on Horo Horo. You know you wanna." Yoh teased as he dangled the bag in front of Horo Horo's face.
"Cut it out!" Horo Horo knocked the bag from out of his hands.
"Hey watch it! I need this to last till the end of the week!" Yoh replied as he retrieved the bag from the ground and dusted it off.
"Whatever. I'll go to the park with you, but there's no way I'm gonna smoke any of that stuff." Horo Horo explained.
"Alright whatever...more for me." Yoh grinned.
"Alright let's go. But we gotta hang low, Fernando's probably lookin for us right now." Yoh warned.
"Crap I forgot about that." Horo Horo began to scan the area. "Do you think he's still after us?"
"Pst. Once you make Fernando mad, he stays mad." Yoh explained.
"Crap...alright let's go."
"Oh wait...I gotta go get somethin real quick." Yoh said suddenly.
"What? What do you gotta get?"
"Just wait here, I'll be back in like two seconds, I promise." Yoh answered.
Yoh quickly dashed back down the street towards Fernando's house.
Horo Horo waited impatiently as Yoh ran back to the house of the man that had just tried to kill the two of them.
About a minute later, Horo Horo heard loud grunt from Fernando's house, and suddenly saw Yoh dashing down the street.
"Hurry up Horo Horo!" Yoh shouted as he ran down the street.
Horo Horo quickly ran behind him.
"What the hell did you do? What was that loud noise back there?" Horo Horo asked.
"I had to steal me a lighter, but I think they saw me this time!" Yoh laughed innocently.
"OMG. Have I ever told you before that you're an idiot?" Horo Horo shouted.
"Hmm I believe you have." Yoh grinned. "And I feel honored every time you do." Yoh giggled.
"Agh! Just hurry up and run!" Horo Horo shouted.
Meanwhile, it was already lunch time back at Funbari High School, and Anna and Pilika were sitting on a cement table just outside of the school, talking.
"I mean I can't believe I actually met her you know. Thee Miyuki Kiroyuwi." Pilika babbled.
Anna paid no attention to Pilika's pointless conversation and simply stared down at the ground.
Pilika, noticing that Anna was paying attention to the ground and not at her, interrupted.
"Uh Anna? Are you even listening to me?" She questioned.
Anna sighed.
"No. What's the point of listening to you, when all you do is blab about Tao Ren?" Anna replied.
"You know. You could at least be a little supportive of me. Tamao always was!" Pilika said.
"Yeah but now Tamao's in a mental instatution." Anna looked up calmly.
"Hey! Just because she came dressed up as a chicken one day, with the backside of her costume cut out, showing her butt, holding up a sign saying "Free the Whales", and jumping on top of people's car, does not make her mental! I've seen people do that all the time in the parking lot in front of the mental institution!" Pilika argued.
Anna rolled her eyes.
Suddenly, Pilika looked up and saw three young females approaching the two with notebooks and pens in their hands.
Pilika quickly nudged Anna causing her to look up.
"Hey Anna. Looks it's the 'Three Little Hoes'." Pilika pointed.
Anna looked up and saw Nina, Mina, and Gina, approaching her.
"Anna?" Nina whined. "We've been looking all over for you!"
"Yeah! We went to the back of the school like you told us but there wasn't a pink unicorn there." Mina replied.
"Well that's because you have to be really quiet as you walk up to him. Or else he becomes frightened and just explodes." Anna replied as she stood herself up.
"Oh no!" Mina cried. "Mr. Pink unicorn exploded?" She cried.
"I'm afraid so." Anna said serenly.
"Gina! Mr. Pink Unicorn exploded!" Mina cried.
"Poor Mr. Unicorn. Don't worry, we'll give him a nice funeral tomorrow, I promise." Gina comforted.
"Yeah...Anyway." Nina interrupted.
"You promised us that if we left you alone, you'd teach us how to become a goddess like you." Nina reminded.
Pilika simply stared at Anna wide eyed. She had no idea as to what was going on.
"Yes, but you girls haven't been leaving me alone now have you?" Anna confronted, arms crossed.
"But Anna!" Nina cried. "We can't wait any longer! The school dance is this Friday and we need to get dates! The only guys that wanna go out with us are ones that have the record of getting the most girls pregnant!" Nina cried.
"Well unless you want me to help you, I suggest you little tramps run along now and leave me alone as you promised." Anna replied soullessly.
"I'm afraid we can't do that." Nina replied seriously.
"Mina! Gina! Form the Ring of Tramps!" Nina ordered.
Suddenly, Nina, Mina, and Gina surrounded Anna, linking their arms together, trapping Anna in a tight circle.
"What are you doing?" Anna said uninterested.
"We have formed the Ring of Tramps. You are trapped. There is no escape. If you want to free yourself, you must hand over your secrets, now." Gina explained.
"Gina, you dropped your hair clip." Anna said.
Gina quickly bent over, breaking the ring. Anna simply stepped over Gina and sat next to Pilika once more.
"Can't escape can I?" Anna scoffed.
Both Nina and Mina grunted, while Gina continued to look for her hair clip.
"Where is it? I can't find it you guys." Gina replied as she crawled along the grass scanning the area.
"Gina! Your hair's down! You were never wearing a hair clip!" Nina shouted.
"Oh really, but then why did Anna say that I dropped my clip?" Gina questioned.
"She was just trying to break the Ring of Tramps." Mina explained.
"But what does her telling me I dropped my clip have to do with her breaking the Ring of Tramps?" Gina continued.
Anna and Pilika rolled their eyes.
"I'm guessing you know these girls?" Pilika asked.
"Well in a way I do. When I walked into class this morning, every guy ran over to me asking for my number and all that crap, and so these little tramps think that I'm a so called "Goddess of men". So they believe that by following me and recording my every movement, they become these goddess's as well." Anna explained.
"Wow you're a goddess of men?" Pilika quickly kneeled down and reached for Anna's hand.
"Anna please, please teach me your ways so that I can make Tao Ren mine once and for all!" Pilika begged.
(Silence)
"Get off the floor you moron! I'm not a goddess of men!" Anna hollered.
"Oh yes of course not, I believe you." Pilika winked.
"Shut up!" Anna replied. "Agh I can't stand this anymore, I'm going inside to buy me an energy drink from the vending machine." Anna replied as she stood up and stammered off back into the school.
Pilika followed.
"Gina! Write that down! All goddess's drink energy drinks!" Nina shouted.
"I can't! I'm still looking for my hair clip!" Gina shouted.
"Gina! You don't have a hair clip!" Nina repeated.
"But Anna said so!" Gina replied.
"UUUUGGGGHHHH! Mina, write that down!" Nina ordered.
"Right away! Okay, um how do you spell all goddess's drink energy drinks?" Mina questioned.
"AGHHH! I'll just write it down myself." Nina huffed. She grabbed her notebook and pen and thought for a moment.
"Okay...wait...what am I supposed to write again?" Nina asked.
"Hey look! Anna's getting away!" Mina pointed as Anna was already 50 feet away, opening the front door.
"Quickly! After her! We have to get as many secrets from her as we can before this Friday!" Nina ordered.
"Right!" Mina began to walk over in a random direction.
"Mina! You're supposed to follow Anna, not that dog!" Nina shouted.
"Right!" Mina replied.
Nina quickly walked over and tugged at Gina's arm as she continued to search for her hair clip on the ground.
"How many times do I have to tell you? You don't have a hair clip!" Nina shouted as she picked Gina up and dragged her along.
"But Anna said so!" Gina repeated.
"Even if you did lose your hair clip, Anna doesn't wear hair clips. And so Goddess's don't wear hair clips." Nina explained.
"Hmm write that down." She ordered.
"I can't. I don't know my numbers." Gina responded.
"God you're all so useless." Nina said as she followed Anna into the school.
Author's Note:
Hello peoples! How have you guys been?
Ahhh well thus ends another chapter of one of my favorite fics, "Funbari Gangstas!"
Hee hee I hope you guys liked this chapter cause it's my favorite one yet.
And who knows, if I get up to 10 reviews for this chapter, I may update "LET GO", sooner than expected.
So everyone spread the word, if I get 10 reviews for this chapter, "Let Go." Will be updated in the next few weeks.
Hope you guys will tune in for the next chapter! And thank you so much for reading and for your support!
I love you all (Hugs and Kishes!)
((-Martha-))