Disclaimer: I don't own any of this wonderful stuff. Unfortunately. I wish I did, but the lucky devils at ShowTime, Gecko and MGM have the pleasure, so I guess I'll just have to be content with doing what I do now, writing for fun. I don't get any money for it either. Sigh. And I don't own Bridget or any of her antics either. You'd think I'd be better off really, wouldn't you?

Author Comment: Well I promised more so here it is. I do hope that I haven't lost the plot yet (plot? What plot?) and that it does sorta make some sense to somebody. Do send feedback and let me know how I'm getting on!

June 5th

Times kissed Jack in last hour – 26
Times caught by superior officers – none so far
Number of storage closets visited – too many to count

Realised this morning that have been neglecting diary. V. bad, but have been quite pre-occupied with C.O. related matters. Have discovered in past month that all things that used to consider fun are now epitome of boredom compared to spending time with Jack. Have also discovered that SGC has overwhelming number of broom closets/storage rooms. Wonder if General Hammond would be suspicious if asked for storage to be removed from storage rooms? Hmm.

June 6th

Number of new storage rooms discovered – 3
Number of wedding dresses looked at – 50ish
Progress on getting storage removed from storage closets – none

Am making effort to write in diary, so much so that have taken diary off world. Am currently sitting on watch on alien planet. V. boring.

Anyway, have still not found nice wedding dress. True, Jack has not yet suggested marriage but am v. sure he will soon. Still, decided against bringing 'Bridal Monthly' along to P3X-yada, yada, yada (think C.O. is rubbing off on self in more ways than one) in case of discovery by other SG-1 members or General Hammond in post-mission furore.

Continue to be amazed at number of storage closets on base. Have started to dream about them even. Hmm. Maybe should talk to Janet about storage closet obsession. Am not sure that is healthy to have such fascination about such things.

Should really get back to watching Jack. Ahem, watching SG-1.

June 9th

Dreams about storage closets – 0 (yay!)
Fruitless theories about Daniel – 86 (or there abouts)
Wedding dresses currently on shortlist – 32 (hmm)

Think that have finally overcome obsession with storage closets after Janet suggested that maybe should not frequent them so much. Was convinced that frequency of dreams and closet visits are wholly unrelated but finally relented due to increasingly disturbing nature of said closet dreams. Wonder if same effect will come of broom closets?

Have decided (after rejecting many fruitless theories – see above) that there is something going on between Daniel and A.N. Other. Hope for sake of two best friends that Janet is other woman. Would not like to be Daniel or Janet if this is not the case.

Have created shortlist of wedding dresses that have deemed acceptable. Unfortunately, shortlist is not quite short enough. Wonder if there is any way to show dresses to Jack and get opinion without alerting him to desire of marriage? Is worth investigating.

June 10th

Number of women found to be suitable 'Daniel' candidate – 0
Number of storage closet visits today – 3 (v. good)
Total internet/phone bill for last month – far too much.

12:35pm - Have discovered evidence that 'other woman' in Daniel's life may in fact not be woman at all, but new hobby or other some such. Daniel is very shifty about it all though. Have just corned him in commissary. V. strange conversation.

"Hey Daniel!"
"Oh, hey Sam. Sorry I can't talk – I'm just going."
"Going? Where?"
"To meet- I mean, to see, um, my optometrist."
"Your optometrist?"
"Yeah. I need new glasses. Lots of new pairs of glasses."
"OK. Well, have fun."
"Oh, sure. I will. Thanks."

V. strange indeed. Have resolved to find out what is going on at all costs, for Janet if not to settle own curiosity. Will enlist help of C.O. and lover to help find out what is going on.

12:40pm - Damn, Jack not in office. Where to find him?

12:55pm - Cannot find C.O. anywhere. Am giving up and returning to lab.

12:58pm - On returning to lab have found Jack inside hiding under table.

"Jack? Sir? You under the table?"
"Carter! What are you doing here?"
"Well it is my lab."
"Get down here and stop talking so loudly!"

Well, has finally happened. C.O. has finally gone mad.

"If you insist."

Well, who needs an excuse to join future husband in dark and cramped spaces?

"So why am I here?"
"You said. It's your lab."

Good point.

"I meant under the table."
"We're hiding."
"We are?"
"Yup.
"From who?"
"Dannyboy."

There goes detailing Jack to find out Daniel's secret.

"Why are you hiding from Daniel?"
"Because he keeps asking me to go shopping with him! And I don't want to!"

This confirms - C.O. is indeed crazy.

"Shopping? What for?"
"Well you know it's Janet's birthday next week?"
"Sure, who doesn't?"
"Well Dannyboy has been looking for the perfect present and he keeps asking me to go with him! Like I know anything about it."
"Does this have anything to do with optometrists?"
"What?"
"You know, glasses and stuff."
"Not that I know of."

Aha! Knew something was up.

"Hmm."
"Hmm what?"
"Just thinking. Anyway I think he's gone off base. I saw him 20 minutes ago and he said he was headed somewhere."
"Where?"
"The optometrist."
"The plot thickens."
"Quite."

Now ensues large silence in conversation. Have sudden desire to relocate conversation to broom cupboard.

"You busy now?"
"Not really."
"Oh good."

Daniel can wait. Am currently engaged in matter of far greater urgency.

4:46pm - Really should do some work.

5:25pm - Really, really should do some work now.

7:55pm - Have finally settled to do some work.

8:00pm - Time to go home. Wonder why managed to do so little work today?

June 11th

Goa'ulds killed: 1
Smoothies successfully created: 0
Secrets of Daniel's uncovered: 1

Finally remembered this morning that was meant to be uncovering Daniel's secret, so cornered him in office. Apparently he wanted to get Janet something v. special but wasn't telling anyone because he was scared aforementioned birthday girl would find out. Am vaguely disappointed that didn't deem self worthy of this knowledge, but will get over it.

Beat Apophis again today - that guy just doesn't know how to die! Met Jack after for a post-fight 'conversation' in broom cupboard just down from own lab. Wonder if SGC cleaners have noticed lack of brooms in said closet yet?

Have also discovered joy of making smoothies in blender at home. Only wish that could get own smoothies to taste like divine fruity creations found at Starbucks. Sigh. Shall try again this evening.

June 16th

Birthday parties attended: 1
Secret romances discovered: 1
Successful smoothies created: 0

10:45am - Eugh. Headache. Need Advil and bed, not necerssarily in that order.

11:34am - Much better. Just tried to make smoothie to calm aching head. Think that smoothie might have been more effective if consumed rather than sprayed all around kitchen following ommission of lid to blender. Am sure that such a mistake could have been made by anyone, and does not make self unintelligent in any way. Am also starting to think that maybe was not put onto this earth to make smoothies, but to provide different but equally harmonious service to mankind.

Went to Janet's well planned birthday party last night, hence the headache this morning. Also discovered what Daniel has been being so secretive about. Turns out that he had been searching every jewellers in the state for the perfect eternity ring for Janet. Am currently under impression that is more than meets the eye to Daniel and Janet. Jack agrees.

Must return to smoothie-making. Perhaps will have greater success when less full of headache?

June 19th

Successful smoothies created: given up
Romances confirmed: 1
Evil plots to take over world discovered: 0

Is confirmed! Saw Daniel and Janet heading for favourite broom closet today. Am sure this makes romance an affirmative. Wonder what shall wear to imminent wedding?