To apologize for redoing the story and maybe disappointing those who were interested in the other story, I have posted another chapter quickly.

Thank you to all who reviewed, I hope that this will be more to everyone's liking. Please bear with me on this one.

I reposted chapter 2, removing the fantasy references, other than that, it is pretty much the same.

Disclaimer: I do not own Erik (I wish), Christine, Raoul, Meg or Madam Giry; the rest of them are my creation.

Enjoy my lovlies!

I SURRENDER ALL

CHAPTER 3

Spring 1872 – present

If his past had taught him anything, Erik had learned that he was nothing better than an animal. He was only useful to others if he was used by them, exploited by them, or abused by them. He knew, deep within his inner core, that he was unworthy of Christine; he was unworthy of even entertaining the idea of Christine.

The feelings he had developed for Christine caused him great agony and pain. He found himself trying to bury his desires and longings underneath bitterness and anger, threatening to issue bodily harm to those who dared to cross his path.

He taught Christine to sing, under the guise of her Angel of Music. He showed her how to use her voice as an instrument of music and she blossomed under his genius tutelage, but he never allowed her to see him, thus keeping up the ghostly profile. But alas, all good things must come to an end.

Something inside him snapped and he found himself pursuing her as though she were some prize to be won and conquered. He used all means available to him to lure her into his seductive trap, hoping to make her long for him as much as he longed for her.

When Raoul de Chagny entered the picture, Erik grew desperate and had to rush his pursuit of Christine. In his desperation, Erik lost a few threads of his sanity. Christine learned he was a man, made of flesh and blood like any other. She betrayed his trust by exposing his face and recoiling from him in the process.

One very memorable night, Christine pushed the limits and exposed his face to the world; leaving Erik no choice but to trap her and her beloved in a web of betrayal. It all came down to a choice she had to make; either she chose Erik and lived forever with him in the dungeon, or Raoul died.

What would you have done? She was sixteen, a child; she was terrified of this man whose temper seemed to teeter on the brink of insanity, yet who could be so tender and kind to her. He was the most potently sexual man she had ever met.

He was 6'4" tall with gorgeous, deep, green eyes; an extremely handsome face, despite the deformity and a hard, defined, carved body that could make any girl weep because of its beauty. But the darkness that loomed around him threatened to consume Christine, and this completely terrified her.

His voice…how could one describe it? It was as if the angels themselves had touched his vocal cords and spoke through him. It made no difference whether he was speaking or singing, his voice was like a brush of angel wings. All of his desire and pain; hope and hate were meticulously revealed in every note he wrote, played and sang.

Erik had seen the unasked question in her eyes. Why had he done it? Why had he killed Joseph Bouquet? The man was a pig, this was true; he had raped and murdered many on his own and had threatened to kill Erik; but Erik had no right to play judge and jury.

Dropping the chandelier had been planned and carefully orchestrated; no one had been injured and Piangi was just unconscious. Overall, everything had gone according to his plan…except he had not planned to let her go.

The first kiss was betrayal. He knew she only chose to do it to free Raoul, so why did she kiss him again? Erik was surprised by the first one, and the second one rendered him speechless.

Collecting himself, Erik saw the look in her eyes. The look could be nothing except pity, and Erik did not want or need her pity. What was he doing…scaring her into staying with him? What kind of life would that be for her?

It would be no life at all. He would rather see her happy and smiling in the arms of another man than scared and miserable down in the dungeon with him. He had no choice but to let her go.

He doubted that she had ever held any true affection for him. She was very young and Erik had forced his way into her life; now, he would remove himself from her life.

He untied Raoul, dropped the rope into the shallow water, and turned and walked away. He passed Christine on his way and did not even look at her. Raoul stared after him, completely dumbfounded. Monsters had no conscience, this man before him had given up everything and then…let them go.

"Take him, forget this…forget all of this." The words were tortured as they left his pained throat. "Forgive me, please." As he spoke, Erik was climbing the massive stairs in his lair, going toward his bedroom. "Leave now, take the boat and forget about me…it would be best for everyone." Erik disappeared behind ornate walls of rock.

Christine was sobbing at the thought of leaving him behind, she spoke loudly, into the emptiness as Raoul led them to the boat, "Erik, what will you do? Where will you go? Erik?" Her voice was desperate and strained, "Erik…please find the love and happiness you deserve…I'm just sorry it wasn't me." She hung her head as the tears dropped quickly and mournfully.

Raoul tried to console her, but she was overtaken by sobs. She had not meant to hurt him, she had only wanted to protect him. Pulling the mask from his face in front of the audience had spurred the reaction she had hoped for; the crowd had panicked and the police were overwhelmed. But most importantly, Erik had escaped, even though he thought she had betrayed him…and she knew he felt that she had.

She turned to Raoul and smiled weakly, "I do love him Raoul, I always will…just not the way he wanted me to love him."

Raoul steered the boat through the murky water, trying to be sympathetic to Christine's plight, "I know he is not a monster Christine, but it will be hard for any woman to love him, considering the way he looks."

Christine stared at Raoul, a look of disgust on her face, "You men put all the emphasis on looks…and if you must know, Erik is very attractive. A third of his face being covered by a mask or even exposed does not hide the handsomeness of the rest of him." Christine defensively remarked, "He has the most amazing features, and his voice…Raoul, his voice alone would make any woman want to be his, even if she never saw him."

She saw the weariness on Raoul's face as he asked a very difficult question, "Why did you choose me over him then, if he is all that you say he is?"

Christine gave a hesitant laugh and looked up at him with dark, questioning eyes, "There is a darkness in him that consumes me Raoul; a deep seeded sadness that I cannot comprehend, nor am I strong enough to conquer." Christine bowed her head, "Erik needs a woman who can dominate him and mother him, challenge him and console him, and love and cherish him all at the same time or at different times as needed; I do not have the worldly knowledge needed to be that woman for him."

Raoul hugged her to him with his right arm as he continued to maneuver the boat through the water. Many thoughts were going through his mind about Erik, but just exactly what he was going to do was still a mystery to him.

Erik watched, hidden in the shadows, as the love he thought he had found turned away from him toward the light and disappeared. What was left? His music, the opera house and Christine were all that had kept him alive. All were gone.

After all that he had survived in his life, it all came down to this moment. Does one fight to save a life that has never known love or compassion? Where does one find the strength to go on when love is clearly gone?

He'd had this discussion before and he knew that his survival instinct would not allow him to wait for the mob to get him, so he moved on. She would not destroy him; his father had tried, they gypsies had tried and Bouquet had tried. Christine would not have the pleasure.

He hurried into his bedroom and secured the cash that he had on hand. He gathered a few necessities and bade his home, for the past nine years, good-bye with one last fleeting look.

He broke mirror after mirror until he found the passage for which he was searching. He proceeded through it and carefully replaced the tapestry so that it looked undisturbed. His world crumbled around him as he headed toward freedom.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

It was extremely dark outside, but Erik's unusual eyesight provided him with a keen picture of the night scenery. He did not know why he was blessed with such good night vision; he only remembered always having it.

He had not been walking for long, when his equally keen hearing heard voices coming toward him on the right. He hunched further down in his cape and pulled his fedora further over his face. He slowed his pace, not knowing what to expect.

Still listening intently, Erik recognized the voices and calmed his breathing. He stood as still as stone and waited for them to come to him.

Audrey collided with what appeared to be a wall of material. When she heard a soft chuckle, she knew that Erik stood before her.

"This is no time to be playing jokes Erik, you're a wanted man." Audrey chided. "We just ran into Raoul and Christine…what happened?"

Erik's voice was deep and hurt as he replied matter-of-factly, "I let them go."

Audrey's quick intake of breath revealed her shock at this revelation, "Erik…I'm sorry…I know that you loved her."

They kept walking in the direction of Audrey's home, avoiding eye contact with anyone and making sure that Erik's mask was completely hidden. Erik was not known by physical appearance and they wanted to keep it that way.

Erik's quiet tone belied his true feelings, "Correction Audrey, I love her…but, as was expected, she does not love me." Erik dropped his tearing eyes and bit back the bile that threatened to come, "I will not force my affections on any female…ever."

Audrey longed to dispute his words, but they had reached her home and Erik proceeded into the parlor, having made sure they weren't followed, although he could not shake the feeling of being watched. Audrey proceeded into the kitchen to prepare a small meal and some tea, leaving Erik and Meg in the parlor.

Meg could not help but stare at him, and this made Erik suspicious, as was his nature to begin with. He lifted his intense eyes to hers, making her look away instantaneously.

"I'm sorry Monsieur, I do not mean to be rude…but you are nothing like the image that Joseph told stories about…" Meg said shyly.

Erik, amused by her revelation, asked, "Is that a good thing Little Giry, or a bad thing?"

He wore a crooked grin about his marvelous mouth that made Meg blush. She regarded his handsome face and the deep, alluring pull of his emerald eyes. Even knowing that the right side of his face was deformed did not hinder his attractiveness at all. He was an alpha male if she ever saw one…and that voice!

Christine must have lost her mind not to have wanted Erik…but then again, Christine had always picked the practical choice…and the last thing Erik was…was practical.

Meg decided to do a little bit of flirting with this gorgeous man, maybe it would pick up his spirits just a little bit; after all, she was twenty, definitely old enough to flirt with a handsome, available thirty-year-old man.

She slinked up to him, put her hands on his chest, straightened his cravat and tie, then rested them on the wide expanse of his chest. She seductively purred, "I would say it is a good thing."

Meg looked up into amused green eyes with a hint of sadness buried in their depths. "You have grown into quite a young woman Meg; a very tempting and alluring young woman." Erik placed his hands over hers to still their massage of his chest. "Don't play with me Meg; if I was any other man, I would think you were flirting with me."

Erik pushed by her to head toward the kitchen. Meg stopped him by touching the soft material that covered his arm, "What makes you think I'm not flirting with you?"

Erik raised his exposed eyebrow and shook his head in disbelief, but did not look at her, "Because women don't flirt with creatures like me."

Meg was shocked at the self-loathing she heard in Erik's voice. Her mother had told her bits of information about this wonderful man, and she never failed to reiterate how much he despised himself.

Erik excused himself and headed for the kitchen to see if he could aid Audrey with anything. He found her just finishing up with the biscuits and the tea was ready. She smiled at him as he came toward her.

"What will you do Erik? Where are you going to go?" Audrey sputtered out the questions she had been dying to ask.

Erik took a seat at the table and lifted his eyes to Audrey, "I am not certain what I will do. I suppose I will leave Paris, that is all I have so far."

Meg heard a soft knock at the door and she opened it to let in Christine and Raoul.

Christine smiled a guilty smile, "I know that Erik is here…please let us in."

Raoul was nervous and very uncomfortable, but he knew that he needed to do this. "Please Meg, let us come in; Christine needs to talk to him."

Meg headed for the kitchen as her mothers voice carried down the hall. Raoul and Christine followed silently behind her. Erik's back was to them and Audrey did not give their presence away.

Audrey furrowed her brow, "Stay here the night Erik, you need to get some rest before you leave." She saw the pain of loss and loneliness invading Erik's deep eyes, "I'm sorry about Christine, Erik…but you will find love again."

Erik's humorless laugh filled the room, "I will not seek love again Audrey; once was enough to convince me…" Erik's melodious voice was weeping, "…I am not worthy of the kind of love a woman gives a man." Darkness descended on the room as Erik's voice took on an eerie tone, "That kind of love is for perfect people like you and Henri and Christine and Raoul."

His words stung Christine, causing tears to run down her cheeks. She quietly dabbed them away with her kerchief, hoping Erik did not hear her.

Something in Erik's voice left no room for argument. His moods changed so fast, often leaving havoc in their wake. His sense of humor was easily provoked and very charming, but he could just as easily tear you limb from limb with just a stare from his intense eyes.

Erik lifted sorrowful eyes to Meg as she entered the room, "You will find love Little Giry, for you are one of the beautiful people." Erik looked away from her, concentrating on a spider that crawled up the wall. "This face was cruelly bestowed upon me when I was three years old…my nightmares have filled in many of the blanks in my memory that have plagued me for years. I remember every excruciating moment that it took for that man, whom I now know was my father, to alter my face into the hideous mass it is now…"

Raoul and Christine listened intently, appalled and yet fascinated by what they were hearing. They both desperately wanted to learn more about Erik.

Erik shuddered and closed his eyes, once again reliving the agony of that day. "I have no recollection of what I looked like before this was done to me." Erik's voice suddenly sounded like a lost little boy, "There must have already been something terribly wrong with me for him to hate me so and for my mother to abandon me."

Tears glistened in his eyes, but he fought them, "I have never told anyone any of this before…I suppose confession is good for the soul…if I even have a soul." Erik's face was cloaked in sadness as he looked heavenward and he questioned the God he had long ago abandoned, "Are monsters even granted a soul?"

Christine chanced a look at Audrey and understood that she requested they not reveal themselves just yet.

Audrey chastised him, as was often her role, "Erik, you are no monster…your face does not make you a monster. You are one of the most self-sacrificing men I have ever had the privilege of knowing…and one of the most giving." Audrey allowed the twinkle to return to her stern eyes, "Why do you feel compelled to tell me your history now?"

Erik smiled a small, crooked smile on his perfect lips, "I do not wish to take any of this to the grave with me." The words were said so contemptuously, that Audrey did not catch their meaning at first.

Audrey jerked her head toward him as the true meaning of his statement hit her, "What do you mean Erik?"

Erik did not smile, but gave her his full attention, "I am not suicidal Audrey. I am many things, but a coward is not one of them. I merely have accepted the fact that I could walk out into the streets tomorrow and be shot dead for my crimes."

Audrey shook her head with disgust, "What crimes Erik? You saved the girls at the opera house numerous times by occupying Joseph Bouquet with your antics, he had less time to perform more rapes that way…you made sure he knew you were aware of his unscrupulous ways and this made him center his murderous threats on you, instead of the girls."

Erik glared at her, "It did no good…I was still the one being blamed for the rapes and murders." Erik chanced a look at Meg, "No one would have believed me innocent…I was guilty in everyone's eyes."

Meg came to him and knelt down beside his chair, "I never knew any of this Erik…" She put her arms around his broad shoulders and felt him tense from her touch. He smelled so heavenly…just like the sexy man he was. Her voice was barely above a whisper, "Thank you for watching over us…even though we were so ungrateful and cruel to you."

Erik gently pushed her from him, "I still should not have killed him…I should have allowed him to kill me…then none of this would have happened and everyone would be happy."

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Raoul had left Audrey's house quietly, knowing what he had to do. Hearing what Erik had said and the words he had shared with Audrey had made up his mind. He left Christine behind to set things right with her Angel.

His word as a nobleman would be all it took to allow Erik to go free and not be pursued. He only hoped that Erik would not perceive this as pity, because that was not what it was. It was a gift to repay Erik for letting Christine and him go.

Raoul found himself before the police chief letting him know that Erik was not guilty of the crimes he had been accused of and that he and Christine were not pressing charges against him.

He explained that the fire at the opera house had been and accident and reiterated that no one was injured. Raoul told them about Joseph Bouquet's past and the threats he had made on Erik; his death had been self-defense.

The chief thanked Raoul for his involvement, and Raoul left. He knew that he had done the right thing, Erik was not the monster that Bouquet had made him out to be. He may not want to be Erik's best friend, but he did not have to be his enemy either.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Meanwhile, back at Audrey's home…

Unable to bear his musings any longer, Christine was by Erik's side, with her head in his lap. Erik jerked up and removed himself from her touch as though she had scalded him.

He glowered at her and vehemently spat his next words, "What are you doing here?" His eyes were searching the area for Raoul.

Christine lifted her tearstained face to him, "How can you sit here and say that everyone would be happy if you were dead?" His creased forehead and puzzled look caused her to cock her head as she questioned him, "Yes Erik, I was listening. I heard everything you said about your past and the horrid way you were treated by your father."

She watched, as Erik once again became a statue to her, all emotion gone from his beautiful features. She kept speaking, "I'm sorry if my presence here causes you pain, but I had to set some things straight with you." Her eyes delved into his, begging him to understand. "I heard about the way you turned Joseph's attention toward you to help the girls at the opera house and how he was planning to kill you."

Christine appraised Erik's straight, still figure and gently caressed him with her words, "I heard how you think yourself unworthy of the romantic love of a woman…" she gingerly reached up and caressed his smooth cheek, "…that is so untrue Erik...you have no idea how attractive you are. Do not think that all women are like me…their hearts already given to another…if my heart had been free to love you, I would have willingly and openly surrendered to you."

She stared deep into his vivid, green eyes. "With all that went on tonight, I did not have a chance to tell you exactly what I wanted to tell you." Christine reached down and pulled his warm hand into hers, "I cannot give you the love of a lover Erik, it is not mine to give." She pulled his ring from her finger and placed in tenderly in his palm, "My heart has belonged to Raoul for many years…but, I can give you the deep and abiding love of a friend, a best friend that will be there for you for every stage of your life; this is the love that I will give you."

Erik died a little with every word she said, as he stared at the glistening ring in his hand. How could he go from loving her obsessively, to caring for her only as a friend?

His strained words held the pain he was feeling, "I don't know if I can do that Christine…I have never had a true friend, other than Audrey; and she is more like an older sister." Erik sat erect and proud, but his voice was where his emotions surfaced, "No one has ever bothered to want to know me…especially women."

Christine once again caressed his cheek, "I give you my friendship Erik, knowing that you will find a woman that will love you with the same passion and strength that you love her with…" Christine smiled lovingly into his alluring eyes, "Face it Erik, you have been buried in the deepest caverns of the opera house for years, unseen by any human eyes…overseeing and protecting those who entertained you and made your work come to life."

A smile was playing about Erik's sensual mouth, something Christine could not remember ever seeing, and she found that it made him even more attractive, "Your point would be…" he said with a hint of laughter in his voice.

She admired his features before continuing, "You have never given women a chance to know you; you have no idea how they will react to you now, knowing that you are no murderer or sadistic, raving lunatic out to rob them of their virtue."

Erik laughed, full and hearty; and Christine grinned as the sound filled her heart with warmth. Erik shook his head at her logical statement, "You are correct Mademoiselle Daae, I have not given them the opportunity to witness my debonair personality and gaze upon my gnarled visage." His words were in jest, but there were still dark tones attached to them.

Christine heard everything and reacted to his doubts, "Give us females a chance Erik, there will be at least one that will issue you a challenge and spark that intellect in you; AND, she will fall madly, deeply, and shamelessly in love with you."

Erik did not believe a word of it, but a deeply hidden part of him longed for her words to be true. He found that as he got older, the only thing he longed for was a family. At least now, he had a friend in Christine, but his desire was growing almost to the point of being uncontrollable. He did not know how much longer he could go without giving into the lust that wracked his body at times, and that thought disgusted him.

Christine sighed heavily, knowing that her next words would not please him, "Raoul has gone to clear your name." Erik visibly stiffened at the mention of Raoul, "As a nobleman, his word it accepted as indisputable and he knows you are innocent of all charges." Erik opened his mouth to object but Christine silenced him, "Let him do this Erik, he only does it because you allowed us to go free and because of the selfless act of saving the girls."

Erik was not happy, but he relented. Christine relaxed and smiled at him. He had replaced his mask and combed his raven hair. He was a devastatingly handsome now as he had ever been. He was still wearing the costume from Don Juan, which showed just a glimpse of the finely carved physic that he kept hidden from the world. Christine truly wished she could give him her love, and she knew that under different circumstances, she would have.

She would somehow make him understand that there were women, many women, who would be attracted to him. Just the sound of his voice sent hot coals of passion shooting through a woman's body and, before long; she was in love, without ever seeing his handsomeness.

Erik stifled a yawn and knew he needed to rest. He stood, bowed elegantly, and excused himself as he headed upstairs to the room he had used on many occasions while staying under Audrey's roof. He wrote a note of thanks to Raoul and bid everyone good night.

To Be Continued…