When the Bough Breaks - Chapter Three
"Suppressed grief suffocates, it rages within the breast, and is forced to multiply its strength."
A.N. Rogan? Lit? Rogan? Lit? So this is pretty much the circle that my brain is running. If you've read my other work you can deduce that it'll either be Rogan or Lit...but as for this one I'm not really sure. Originally Logan wasn't going to be in it (he was gonna be a made up character) but he squirmed his way in so I don't know who it'll be. In the coming chapter's I'll go over Rogan's past, it's deep and dark and makes Lit's ship look like fluffy bunnies. And for Primesetter31 watch out for Ellie in the next chapter...actually is Rory/Ellie centric so check it out...it should be up this weekend at some point! And there'll be some Rogan up soon too! You guys should continue to weigh in on the Rogan/Lit debate...if you make a good enough appeal maybe it'll help me make up my mind between the two!
"Get the hell out," Rory spits taking a step away from Jess, her hand stinging from the force she'd used to smack him across the face.
"Rory? What the fuck?" Jess stares stunned at her, he'd been surprised to see her there in the first place and the last thing he expected from Rory was a smack across the face. He knew he'd see her eventually, in fact he'd intended to head over to the house later to see how she was doing; he'd expected tears, an emotional mess but he hadn't imagined the rage that was spread like fire across her face.
"What the hell are you doing here Jess?" Rory demands, with her hands on her hips and her lips forming a thin white line Jess can see an angry school teacher but he's more then well aware not to point this out.
"I came back to pay my respects," he knows what she means by the question. What she wants to know is why he wasn't at the funeral service the day before, or why he hadn't showed up in the days since the accident.
He's right about that and next question draws her close to him again, "well you're a little late." She pushes on his shoulders and Jess is once again surprised by Rory Gilmore, but this time it's her strength that catches him off guard and he stumbles backward but quickly catches himself on the counter.
"I couldn't come yesterday, Rory," Jess sighs, his expression pained but it doesn't matter because Rory refuses to look at him.
"You were what, out of the country and couldn't get back until now?" Rory spits out, her eyes trained on the no cell phone sign that hung on the wall behind Jess.
"No," Jess grabs Rory, probably a little more roughly then he should have and forces her to look at him. "Because I couldn't stand to come back and listen to everyone talk about them like they were dead..."
"But they are dead, Jess!" Rory's tone is high and squeaky like she's trying to hold back tears, but the instant the words are out of her mouth she goes sheet white once again backs away from Jess.
"Rory..." Jess takes a few steps toward her, trying to wrap his arms around her but she resists almost immediately.
"Don't, don't touch me Jess!" Rory shoves him away again, "you can't just hug me and make this go away. This is the real world and they're gone and they're not coming back and you just have to...have to..."
Jess pull Rory to him this time, and he can't help but see some clip from an afternoon special as she pushes against him swearing at yelling at him in a hysterical tone. He's not sure when the change happens or how long it takes to get there, but eventually Rory has begun to sob clinging tightly to Jess' t-shirt. It takes everything Jess has to hold her up, but even that doesn't last very long because the more he lets himself think about the situation and what has brought the two of them together the harder it is to resist his own tears. The tears that he swore he wasn't going to let anyone in Stars Hollow see. He was supposed to play it cool, not let them see the grief that had settled into his chest.
"This wasn't supposed to happen," Rory stares up at Jess, her normally brilliant blue eyes have been dulled to a gray and her cheeks are washed in tears.
"I know, Rory," Jess murmurs, because he did know. Luke and Lorelai had waited so long to figure out that they were in love with each other, and the romantic side of Jess said that they should have grown old together and died peacefully in their sleep...together. Not ten years after they married, leaving behind a little young daughter and a grown-up one who had to pick up the pieces. No, this sure as hell wasn't how it was supposed to go.
"What do you know?" Rory asks, the anger is out of her voice and just replaced with pain but he knows that she really is hurt that he hadn't been at the funereal and service yesterday.
"Just because I didn't come yesterday doesn't mean that I loved them any less then you did," Jess responds, attempting to keep his voice even as her furiously swipes at his own wet cheeks.
"She was my mom! It's not the same." Rory's breathes in shaky breaths, but her tears have stopped.
"You know that's not true," Jess had never had a good grip on his emotions and his voice rises at the accusation, "that's like saying that you loved Luke any less then your father."
"I don't want to do this Jess," Rory states as tears begin to slide down her cheeks again, "I don't want to imagine my life without Mom or Luke. I don't want to. I don't want to have to live in this town anymore but I have too. I can't imagine walking by this place every day but not seeing Luke through the windows. Or going into the video store and renting a movie that's not for a movie night with mom. How am I supposed to drink coffee again without thinking that my mom will never have another cup and being reminded of all the coffee that Luke served me. They're both ingrained in every part of my life, in everything I've become I don't know how to be without them." With her words Rory buries her face once again in Jess neck, she makes no audible sounds of crying but her shoulders shake visibly and if Jess had been looking up at that exact moment he would have seen that several members of the town watch the two mournfully through the large window.
It's dark when Rory slips out the backdoor of the diner, she didn't know when she'd fallen asleep but she was sure it was at some point in the middle of the diner sobbing into Jess' shoulder. So when she's woken in Luke's old apartment with Jess sound asleep next to her she'd be unfamiliar with her surroundings in the growing dark. Carefully she'd slipped out from under Jess' arm wrapped lightly around her and hurried out of the apartment, to confused to even think about waking him up to say good-bye.
As soon as she's in the back alleyway her cell phone rings causing her heart to pound, fumbling to flip it open she recognizes the number as Sookie's. "Hello?"
"Oh, Rory did I wake you?" Sookie's tone is immediately apologetic.
"No, no," Rory assures quickly, attempting to cover her just woke-up tone. "What's up?"
"I was calling to see if you'd like to come to dinner," Sookie responds, "I'm sure Ellie would like to see you."
Ellie. 'Damn it.' Had she really forgotten about her little sister. "Of course, but you don't have to cook for me Sookie, we've got plenty of casseroles, I can just swing by and pick up Ellie..."
"You're not going to touch those casserole's Rory," Sookie states, "I'm making hamburgers. We'll eat whenever you get here."
"I'm on my way over now," Rory responds as she carefully picks her way through the trash filled alley.
"Okay sweetie, we're in no rush though," Sookie assures before they both hang up. Once
Rory has snapped her cell phone shut and shoves it back in her purse she pulls out her compact, she needed to pull herself together before emerging onto the street. Using the last little bit of dusk she stares at her reflection, she was pale and her eyes were slightly red but for the most part the couple hours she'd spent asleep upstairs had repaired any signs that she had been crying. Running a hand through her hair she realizes she doesn't have a scrunchie so she's going to have to deal with that just woke up look, honestly it didn't really matter what Rory looked like. But focusing on small things was keeping her from seeing the big picture; the big picture that had reduced her to tears in her ex-boyfriend's arms.
Once she's continued on her way she reaches Sookie's and knocks lightly on the door, moments later Davey pulls the door open. At 13 he was tall, a height that both Sookie and Jackson attributed to Jackson's father, "hi Rory," Davey doesn't meet Rory's gaze as he moves away from the door to allow her to pass through.
"Hey Davey," Rory returns the greeting, slightly thrown off by her Godson's reaction. He's spent his young years throwing himself at Rory, proposing marriage and glaring at Logan for getting to her first. But as he'd approached his pre-teens and teens he'd played it less childlike and more friendly and talkative, but this reaction was beyond foreign to Rory.
"I'm sorry about your mom," Davey spits out quickly and realization dawns suddenly on Rory.
Gently Rory rubs Davey's arm as she passes him, "thanks, Davey."
"Rory is that you?" Sookie appears in the doorway leading to the kitchen, "of good. You're here." Sookie hurries to Rory's side and immediately grabs her arm, a wooden spoon still clutched in one of her hands. "Can I talk to you outside for a minute?"
"Sure," Rory nods and allows Sookie to lead her outside, "is everything okay with Ellie?"
"Of course...well I mean she's devastated, of course she is. But she's been fine." Sookie states, "but I actually wanted to talk to you about well...you know...we didn't really get to talk after the bathroom yesterday..."
"The baby?" Rory questions with a sigh, more then anything she wished that Sookie hadn't caught on to her pregnancy.
"Right, the baby," Sookie nods. "I know I'm not your mom sweetie, and I know your life is in shambles but..."
"Sookie please," for the first time in her entire memory Rory has raised her tone at Sookie as she pulls her arm out of Sookie's grasp. "I can handle everything, okay? I've got it all taken care of." Rory sighs as Sookie's pain and hurt register on her face, "I'm sorry."
"No," Sookie shakes her head, "it's my fault, I shouldn't have pushed."
"There's just to much for me to take in right now," Rory bites her lip and Sookie nods, both are obviously ready to drop the subject and Sookie follows Rory back into the house to put the finish touches on dinner.