"Ephram?"
Ephram froze on the spot at the sound of that hesitant voice. He looked up to see Amy standing directly behind the bike rack, right next to his bike.
"What?" Ephram asked bluntly, making eye contact for a moment. When he saw the cold, impersonal look behind her eyes he looked away, suddenly very interested in his bike chain.
"Look, I know you're mad at me right now, but we have to talk," Amy said quietly. She looked around as if to make sure no one saw her talking with Ephram.
"I thought you were busy welcoming Colin home," Ephram said, straightening up and putting his hands on his handlebars.
"I am, I mean, I was," Amy corrected herself. Amy's foot tapped unconsciously, clearly relating her impatience. "He's resting at home right now… Could we talk on the ski trail?"
The ski trail was on the outskirts of the school, almost hidden by the small trees. It was there that Ephram had gone to meet Amy secretly the first time, only to see Bright and his various goons. It was there that Bright hit him and Amy saved him. He'd always felt humiliation of having been saved by a girl half his size, so the ski trail held no special place in his heart.
"Yeah," Ephram caved. He knew Amy was counting on his weakness for her and that infuriated him further. But he knew he couldn't ignore Amy forever, no matter how much he wanted to, so he agreed.
"Let's go," Amy said as she turned and began to walk. Ephram walked slowly beside her, carefully wheeling his bicycle around the inevitable dips in the uneven ground. They did not speak until they reached the wooded cove, and even once they had arrived, silence reigned supreme. After a few minutes, Amy broke the silence.
"Colin's doing okay," she offered quietly, looking at Ephram's emotionless expression.
"Oh good, I was worried." Ephram fought to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but some slipped out. Amy took a deep breath and tried to ignore it as she continued on.
"Colin retained all of his memories… he hasn't forgotten anything he relearned from last time around," Amy's eyes brightened as she talked, sounding excited and happy for Colin. Ephram searched his heart for good will but found it currently lacking.
"He hasn't forgotten anything?" Ephram asked.
"No; isn't that wonderful?" Amy smiled, then sighed contentedly. A shadow crossed Ephram's face briefly, although Amy didn't notice.
"So I guess that means he won't be taking a bat to anything anymore or shattering windows with his fist?" Ephram's tone made Amy blush deeply. It angered her to hear Ephram talk about Colin like a mindless idiot, something in the way of what he wanted. Before she could say something that she regretted, however, she took a deep breath.
"Okay, Ephram, I know you're pissed off and I'm sure you have your reasons. But please, let's put aside our personal feelings and look at the big picture," Amy spoke with an infuriating calmness. Her tone reflected that of a mother trying to chastise one of her children for being self-indulgent.
"Big picture?" Ephram sneered, finally letting his emotions show on his face. "What big picture? The big picture where you use me when you can get what you really want, or the big freakin' picture of you and Colin that this whole town has in their heads?"
"Ephram, stop being childish," Amy commanded curtly, holding up a hand. Her eyebrows knitted crossly. "Be mature for a moment, will you? This is miraculous; can't you see that? Colin's fine. He remembers me… There's no more arms in slings or memories written on tiny bits of paper to help him through the day. He's fine."
"I get it: Colin's good. You're happy for him and you. That's fine," Ephram said hotly, his eyebrows furrowing together in his anger. "But what does that have to do with me or the 'big picture'?"
Amy bit her lip as she thought about her words. Finally, she sighed and said, "Ephram… we need to back off for a bit… so that Colin and I can have some time to… readjust. So we can have some time to get back into our routine." She smiled sweetly. "Can you do that?"
"Are you asking me if I can back off and give you and Colin breathing room?" Ephram asked incredulously. When Amy cocked her head to the side in confusion, Ephram went on. "Like I'm the one perpetuating this relationship!"
"Well I certainly don't see you backing down when I ask you to do things!" Amy shot back, crossing her arms across her chest. "Don't act like this is all my fault!"
An intense mixture of anger, sadness, fear and embarrassment welled up inside Ephram, threatening to explode violently. Ephram managed to keep his feelings at bay, but they threatened to break through his attempts. Amy's attitude of "forgive and forget YOU" not only hurt him to the core, but scarred his youthful heart. Although Amy had inflicted many wounds on him before, some intentional others not, never had it pained him this much.
"Forget this," Ephram said, trying not to let on he was close to crying. He turned quickly, wheeling his bike around and preparing to mount and ride off. Before he could leave the cove of trees, Amy asked him a question. Her voice was tearful, as if she were afraid she were going to burst into tears.
"Why are you being like this, Ephram? Why are you being so mean and hateful? Honestly, Ephram, do you care about anything?"
Amy's questions rubbed Ephram's sense of justice in the wrong way. Her pretended innocence in this matter infuriated him to no end. Instead of turning around and screaming obscenities like he wanted to, he turned and swallowed the lump in his throat. It was a time for truth… truth that he was sure was going to hurt her terribly, but could not be avoided any longer. At first, Ephram thought she was just callous about inflicting emotional injury on the people she continually used, but now he wondered if she knew at all how much she hurt them.
Ephram threw his bicycle down onto the snowy ground and stepped towards Amy. She involuntarily moved back, as if she thought Ephram would hit her. Ignoring the implication, Ephram grabbed her arms, forcing her to look into his eyes as he spoke.
"You don't see the pain you cause to others and even if you could I'm not sure you'd even be bothered by it. You could have such a caring heart, Amy, but it hardens so easily. It freezes and blinds you to the people you hurt. You have a cold, cold heart Amy. You're like an ice queen, all frozen and distant. You're frozen, Amy, to anyone but Colin… and you'll stay an ice queen as long as you continue to use people like you do."
Ephram fought hard against his tears, but in the end they won out. Three tears reluctantly slid down his face in rapid succession. His nose quivered and he turned quickly, as if to hide any further weakness from Amy. Amy saw the pitiful look on his face before he turned and it melted her heart slightly. For a moment, time seemed to slow. The beating of her heart thundered in her ears as she watched him walk away, her body and mind torn between what she wanted to do and what she thought she should do.
In the end, she did nothing. Nothing but watch Ephram walk slowly away, leaving his bike in the snow, one wheel spinning in the slight breeze. Amy shivered as Ephram disappeared from her sight, and then, sighing, she made her own way home. In her heart, she knew she was right and Ephram was wrong. She would show him—she was no ice queen.