"You have a cold heart, Amy. You're like an ice queen, all frozen and distant."

The words tumbled around in Amy's mind, making her head ache. The memory of Ephram's face was burned into her brain; it was an image that she saw constantly, even if she closed her eyes. It was most disconcerting when she was with Colin, hugging and cuddling. After all, it was a decidedly difficult thing to be intimate with a person when your mind was fully with someone else.

Ice queen… ice queen… ice queen…

It was at that point the memory got hazy, blurring at the edges slightly as Ephram's lanky frame turned. His shoulders drooped in his sadness as he walked slowly away, staring at the ground as if he didn't care where he was going. Amy remembered fighting her feeling to flee after him, to kiss him and to tell him it all didn't matter; not Colin, not any one but he.

She also remembered the thousand moments she and Colin had spent together… The lazy summer afternoons, the long autumn days spent juggling school and a million other things… The good times that involved a lot of kissing and hugging… The bad times that stood ingrained in her memory as hospital trips and anxious waiting in impersonal hospital waiting rooms.

Ice queen… ice queen… ice queen…

And now, a new bad memory was being etched into her brain. She stood in line at Everwood's only funeral parlor, waiting for her chance to view Ephram's body before they buried him. It was a grueling task, even though Colin was right beside her, holding tightly to her hand. His head had hit the ice in his fall and was carefully bandaged up, but he didn't seem to notice as he stared at his feet.

Ice queen… ice queen… ice queen…

I am an ice queen, Amy thought firmly, staring blankly at the casket in front of her. How else could I stand by and watch this like it doesn't effect me?

Suddenly, it was Amy's turn to pay her last respects. She forced her mind and energies to this silent task, looking down at the young man before her.

Ephram looked like he was sleeping. Amy realized even as she thought this how cliché it sounded, even in her own head, but it was true. He looked like he was dreaming peacefully, as if he were going to be woken up at five o'clock to prepare for school. Of course, Ephram wouldn't be sleeping in his best suit and tie; that would just be ridiculous. He'd only muss them up, biking to school… The thought crossed Amy's mind that Ephram would never again go to school and it choked her up. Determined not to succumb to her sudden weakness, Amy lifted her head and let her gaze wander to the pews.

Colin was still holding her hand, and he squeezed it gently. The silent gesture reminded Amy she had to finish making her peace with the dead. Amy caught Colin's eyes and shook her head, tightening her lips to tell Colin she wasn't ready. Colin nodding his understanding but fidgeted uncomfortably. The bandaging on his head was itchy and irritating, but not nearly as irritating as the thought of Amy lost in thought of a different person that he.

Amy disjointedly began to study the various adornments to Ephram's final resting-place. There were flowers of all kinds, all colors, but it was not the floral arrangements that caught her interest. It was the collage of photos that had been pieced together, commemorating the youth lost. Photos of Ephram when he was younger, photos with his mother and later Delia. Photos of Ephram in Everwood; photos of Ephram with her. Amy's breath caught slightly as she saw the pictures of her and Ephram. In all of them, they were smiling as if they couldn't be happier. Amy pushed down the emotions inside of her that threatened to bubble out and cause a ruckus.

Amy was preparing to go back to her seat when her eyes lit on the big picture frame resting on the table next to Ephram. In the ornate frame was a professional picture of a smiling, clean-cut Ephram. Somehow, the photographer had managed to capture a real smile—not one of those false, portrait smiles, but a genuine smile. Eerily the picture seemed to stare at her, gawking at her, daring her to cry. The blood rushed up to her cheeks and began to pound violently in her head as a sudden realization crept up on her.

She wasn't ready to let go of Ephram. She loved Colin and could not deny that fact, even now, as she looked down at Ephram's peaceful form… But she could not let him go. Something inside her cried out and the part of her that loved Ephram was aching. But Amy knew that part of her would remain hidden from the world—Colin included—and would never surface again. After today, she'd put it behind her, leaving it to dust and decay in the furthest corners of her mind. She would deticate herself to Colin and their future together, never again dwelling on the subject of Ephram Brown.

Abruptly, Amy turned on her heels and began walking down one of the side aisles, heading back to her seat in the rows of mourners. Colin followed her, shrugging off the strange looks Amy received from the other townsfolk. Amy found her former seat and sat down silently. Colin sat down beside Amy, extending his arm around her shoulders, rubbing her arm reassuringly.

The line of those who wished to pay their last respects to Ephram Brown was shortening, but it seemed as though an eternity passed as each one stepped up the casket and beheld Ephram in his post-mortem glory. Some began to sob and had to be lead away; others nodded tearfully and turned away from the garish sight, biting their lips to keep from crying. Ephram's maternal grandmother actually fainted, making Amy want to giggle for some morbid reason.

To keep from embarrassing herself or revealing her true feelings, Amy made herself stop staring at the sleek black coffin which seemed to dominate the huge sanctuary. Instead, she began to study the mourners. It seemed that the entire town had turned up to bid Ephram goodbye. Amy saw her friends and neighbors, all sitting sadly around her. She saw strange faces that looked vaguely familiar and reasoned they must be relatives of the Brown's from out of town. She even saw many of the kids from their high school, ranging from freshman to senior. Amy wondered why they bothered to come; most of them hadn't cared a wink for Ephram when he was alive.

When he was alive. The words sent a shiver down Amy's spine, causing her to shake involuntarily. Colin looked over with genuine concern in his eyes. The feelings of jealousy and envy had left him the moment he'd seen Ephram's closed eyes in the casket. Such feelings were useless and trivial; something Colin had with quickly come to terms. Though the lesson had been harsh, he knew he would never again have to learn to put things into perspective. Petty differences and arguments weren't enough to die over.

"I'm fine," Amy whispered, her eyes drifting to the front-most pew. It was there the famous Andrew Brown sat, his arm around his daughter as he stared at the black casket in disbelief. He had shaved off his beard for the funeral, although no one knew why. With clouded eyes, he watched the proceedings, keeping his face set at all times.

When all the mourners had their turn in line, Andy Brown stood up and walked to the casket, holding Delia's hand. Andy looked down at his son and began sobbing brokenly. All barriers had been swept away as the brutal reality made itself real to him. His heart felt as though it would break, and it was then Delia squeezed her father's hand. It wasn't much; just a simple sign of affection. Andy smiled down at his daughter gratefully. Taking a deep breath, he collected himself as best he could and turned around.

It was time for the burial.