Later that night, Amy Abbott was not as strong as she had appeared at the wake. She was not as unaffected as her attitude lead others to believe; deep inside, her heart was cracked and bleeding. She tried to let the tears out, to have a good cry and let it all out, for once and for always… but the tears stubbornly refused to come. Instead, they welt up in her eyes, making them red and puffy.
Her father had been at her door a little more than an hour ago, offering his services as a faithful father in a time of need. She had smiled and told him calmly she was okay and needed nothing. But as soon as he left, her visage crumpled and she was left curled up on her bed, an awful ache filling her belly.
For hours, she writhed, tossed and turned in her bed. She heard her clock tick the minutes and hours off faithfully, the tiny noise seemingly booming in the quiet room. When the faintest bit of sunshine broke through the window, she sat up. Wiping at her dry eyes, she bent over and rummaged around under her bed. When she found what she was looking for, she lay on her stomach, sprawled carelessly over her unmade bed.
Amy ran her fingers over the stiff, leather cover of her journal. Taking a deep breath, she took a pen from her night table and began to write furiously.
Today I felt my heart harden. Truly, now, I am an ice queen. My mind is set. Life makes you make hard decisions—terrible decisions. Decisions you must live by, and you alone. I made a decision and I am not sorry. I refuse to be sorry that I plucked my boyfriend from a frozen river; to save his life instead of another. I made that choice and I can live with it.
I regret nothing.
Again, tears loomed. Amy shut the book quickly and swiped angrily at her eyes. To keep from breaking, she concentrated on the sunshine that was filtering its way in her bedroom full force as the sun began to rise in earnest. She stood and crossed her floor to look out the window. She looked at the trees, glistening in the early morning light. She saw the people and cars busily filling the street in normal morning day traffic. She heard her own house begin to come to life and prepare for a new day… and all of the sudden it hit her. Life will go on, no matter what.
Amy stared out the window, but her eyes were not focusing on the scenery. What she was seeing was far, far away in a much different place that she was now. She took a deep breath.
"I regret nothing," she said in a cold, regal sort of way, still staring out the window.