Chapter eight

"wasn't that incredible" Draco was filled with excitement as he and Ginny excited the mediwitches office and walked across the road to the parking lot. He had just had his five month checkup and ultrasound, and was thrilled to find not one but two Little babies were in there and were both healthy.
Yeah, it was" Ginny agreed smiling "it was amazing to see their Little heartbeats and to see them actually move inside you. Too bad the Little critters wouldn't open their legs so we could have a peek"
"just think what a surprise it'll be when they come" Draco dug his car keys out of his pocket "and you Will be there when it happens"
"I don't know about this coaching stuff" Ginny said as they slipped into the car "you know how I am with blood"
"you'll be fine" Draco buckled his seatbelt over his expanding belly and gave Ginny a pat on the knee. "I'll be the one in pain"

"Harry should have been the one in there today, not me" Ginny said quietly
Draco sighed, staring out the window at nothing. He had thought the same thing. When he'd seen and felt the babies move within him he had been breathless with wonder, and on the heels of that came a twinge of sadness that Harry wasn't there to see it
He couldn't help feel doubts and guilt for keeping Harry's babies a secrete. He was the babies father after all, but his arguments always whittled down to the same issue. Harry didn't want children. Ever. Oh, he had no doubt that Harry would take responsibility for the babies but Draco didn't want his acceptance to be one of financial obligation. He wanted it borne of unconditional love for the children.
"I've got a craving for a caeser salad." He said changing the subject "how about lunch on me at the 'fire in the belly'"
Ginny lifted her brow "that's way across town"
Draco shrugged and started the car 'but it's my favorite place. I haven't been there since..." Harry he swallowed the name always on his mind and in his heart and finished with "well in a while. I have had a craving for their salads for the past month"

Ginny held her hands up in surrender. 'who am I to stand in the way of a pregnant woman's craving?"
Draco grinned at his best friend "you're one smart woman"

"well, I do have to say that your prices are more than fair, and your references are impeccable" Severus Snape set Harry's five-page proposal back down on the table and leaned back with a satisfied smile on his face. "I've put off a new security system for long enough. The job is yours if you want it."
Harry stared at the older man for a moment, unable to drum up any excitement for the sis-figure deal Snape had accepted so effortlessly. Where was the elation that cam from such an easy victory?
"well potter do we have a deal or not?" Snape asked "I'm anxious to get the security system installed"
Harry would be a fool to turn down such an easy profitable deal. " I'll have the contract drawn up and to you by tomorrow and start installing it as soon as we get the contract signed."

"splendid. I'm looking forward to doing business with you" Snape said
"I'm looking forward to doing the job" Harry's reply came automatically, considering he didn't look forward to doing much these days. Since his breakup with Draco, work had become an escape, a way to keep his mind off what he'd let slip through his fingers. Even the ruthless drive he once had to build his security firm into the thriving business had lost its appeal and excitement.
One night, while sitting in the dark in his lounge room nursing a beer, he'd come to the realization that his life had no real purpose or direction. Oh, sure he was wealthy enough that he could purchase anything money could buy, but it wasn't material items he wanted. No his longing went much deeper than buying something on a whim. The yearning had settled in his soul, making him restless lonely and miserable.
The deep ache would fade in time, he kept telling himself but, dammit, how long would he have to wait until his heart didn't hurt anymore? How long before he could look at another man and not see something that reminded him of Draco? How long before the deep regret of letting Draco walk out of his life would fade?
Forever. The thought that came was suffocating and scary.

The waitress arrived with the bill, and Harry mentally shoved his thoughts back into the dark secluded spot in his soul where he kept them hidden. After paying the bill, he grabbed his briefcase and he and Snape slid from the booth, heading towards the exit of the fire in the belly. Harry past a young cute host as he led a couple to a table. He gave Harry a seductive smile that made his interest in him very clear. Harry waited for a stirring of attraction, a spark of desire, but none came. He'd become a goddamned monk since Draco.

The waiting room was crowded with lunchtime patrons waiting for a table. Harry's steps slowed as his gaze slid over silky blonde hair cut into a shoulder length bob style that reminded him of Draco's . he could have sworn he caught a whiff of the aftershave Draco fancied.
Harry shook his head. Hard. He couldn't see the man's face but then he already knew it wasn't Draco. It never was. One time he had made a fool of himself running after someone who looked so much like Draco from behind, only to grab him and turn him around and have a strange woman stare at him as if he was crazy.
Some days Harry thought he was losing his mind

Keeping his eyes on the exit sign over the door, Harry fumbled for the open roll of quikeze in his pants. He heard husky laughter, so much like Draco's. Harry swore beneath his breath as he crunched into the chalky tablet. Impatient to be gone from the restaurant and the memories that were beginning to crowd him Harry pushed open the doors, let snap precede him, and started out behind him.
"Draco Malfoy, party of two, please," the hostess announced over the intercom.
Harry froze. His heart thudded in his ears and his chest tightened painfully. He had to have heard wrong either that or he was closer to insanity than he originally thought.
"how long do I have to put up with these cravings of yours?" Harry heard a familiar voice ask from behind him a sassy voice from the past.
That sweet laughter again "only four more months"

The other woman groaned" this I can handle, but I draw the line at pickles and ice-cream"
The exchange seemed surreal to Harry but he found himself turning slowly around. He let the door shut, rudely shutting professor Snape outside by himself. Harry couldn't bring himself to care, because this was probably some sort of dream.

The saw the blonde and brunette heading toward the waiting waitress. Before he lost his nerve Harry called "Draco?" Draco turned around with a smile on his face and eyes bright with amusement, but when he saw Harry, his whole expression changed into one of shock and disbelief.

Their gazes locked. "Harry?" Draco's voice cracked.
Draco clearly wasn't overjoyed to see Harry. He watched Harry warily and with an unreserved apprehension that annoyed Harry. Guest entered and exited the restaurant but Harry's sole focus remained on the one man he couldn't forget.
Ginny stepped in front of Draco, her stance fierce and protective. "Harry, Draco doesn't want to see you, so I suggest you just leave and not make a scene"
Irritation propelled Harry forward, and he slowly weaved his way around people in the waiting area. He caught Draco's gaze and held it "let me hear that from Draco"
Ginny's chin jutted out, but before she could respond, Snape came back through the door. He glanced from Harry to Draco, took in the scene that looked like a showdown was about to happen, and said "uh, you two been dating I see"
"yes" Harry responded as Draco said "No"
"No?" Harry lifted a mocking brow, remaining focused on Draco's face. you've already forgotten how intimately we know each other? Harry's eyes asked. You can put me out of your mind so easily when I've spent the past 5 months in pure misery, wanting no other man but you?
Eyes wide, Draco took a hesitant step back, but there was really nowhere for him to escape, considering the exit was behind Harry. It's over Harry. It's over! Draco's look frantically told him. But it was the undisguised fear in the depths that made Harry pause. His steps slowed as he neared, and it was then that he realized that Draco looked... different. His face was fuller than he remembered, but no less beautiful. Harry's gaze traveled lower, following the collar of Draco's shirt. The shirt flared slightly at the waist and settled against s rounded belly too firm to be excess fat.
Draco was undoubtfully pregnant.

The savage pain and jealousy that laced through Harry was near unbearable. His heart hurt, his mind reeled. More confusing was the brief thought that he wished it was his child. Harry swore bluntly.
"if you two Will excuse us," Harry said tightly, glancing from Severus to Ginny and giving them a look sure to quell any argument "I'd like to talk to Draco privately for a few minutes."
Draco gave Ginny a look of sheer desperation, but his best friend only said " you need to tell him"
Tell him what? Harry wondered. That he'd found another man willing to give him what him everything he himself couldn't?

Severus, taking his cue from Ginny nodded and stepped her way "what do you say I buy you a drink, miss Weasley?"
Grinning wryly, Ginny hooked her arm through the one Severus offered "yeah, I think I could use a butterbeer"
Harry could've used a drink too but instead he gave the impatiently waiting hostess a tight smile and asked her to hold Draco's reservation.
The hostess returned to her post and called another party, leaving Harry and Draco in the midst of patrons coming and going from the restaurant. The spot wasn't ideal for a private conversation, but at this point Harry wasn't going to be picky, and he didn't think Draco would agree to go someplace secluded.
Draco nervously dragged his tongue across his bottom lip and shifted uncomfortably. Finally, he spoke "how are you?"
"just dandy," Harry drawled sarcastically "and you?"
Draco looked everywhere but at him "fine"
Despite being torn up inside, Harry wanted to touch Draco so badly his fingers tingled. But Draco wasn't his to touch longer. No, judging by his condition, he belonged to another man.
That thought put a bitter taste in Harry's mouth "I see you didn't waste any time starting a family. Who's the lucky guy? Rodney?"
Draco's gaze jerked back to Harry's. a flash of hurt entered his eyes then he quickly glanced away again. "It doesn't matter, Harry" he said softly
"it sure as hell does" Harry bit out "we've been split up for what a whole five months and now you've managed to find yourself a new husband---"
"it could have been you Harry" Draco said in response.
Harry's jaw tightened. That's what galled him the most. The pure, undiluted regret he lived with every day. He hadn't been able to offer Draco what he wanted, but that selfish, aching part of him didn't want anyone else to have him "so you just happened to fall in love with someone else?" that selfish part lashed out, wanting to hurt Draco as much as he hurt. Love, he was quickly learning, wasn't always a pretty emotion. "that's pretty damned convenient, wouldn't you say?"
Draco's face flushed and he suddenly looked every bit as furious as Harry was. And deeper, Harry saw the hurt. Curiously it gave him Little satisfaction.
"I didn't fall in love with anyone else" Draco's voice was low and modulated.
Harry laughed, a mocking sound "I guess that just goes to show you that you don't always need love to get married, do you?"
"I'm not married," Draco snapped, then gasped in shock at his own confession
Harry blinked, and like a cold does of reality, Draco's words seeped through the haze of anger blinding him to all the obvious signs. His gaze narrowed, and he took a closer look at Draco and the changes in his body. He knew Little to nothing about pregnant woman or men, but his gut instinct gnawed at him. Apprehension and fear mingled, along with a greater emotion he couldn't put a name to.

Draco placed a possessive hand on his stomach, his expression reflecting his panic. "Harry, I have to go" he said abruptly, and turned toward the bar to retrieve Ginny.
Without a thought Harry grabbed Draco's arm, stalling him, his heart pounding so hard he could hear each drumming pulse in his ears.
Draco tugged on his arm, but Harry's grasp was strong. "let me go, Harry"
"whose baby is it?" Harry asked, his voice as tight as the pressure banding his chest.
"they are mine" Draco said fiercely
"They!" he ground his teeth "dammit, Draco who is the father?"
"it's none of your business!" Draco yelled
Harry leaned close "I'm making it my business"
Tears filled Draco's eyes and his bottom lip trembled. With great effort Harry resisted the urge to pull Draco into his arms, comfort him and apologize for his callous behavior.
He wasn't sorry. And he wanted answers. He didn't question why the need was so strong, only knew that he couldn't let Draco go without knowing the truth. Dismay flittered across Draco's face "why do you care?" he cried
"Because I love you" that's the only explanation Harry's heart and mind would allow him to say "now answer me" he said harshly
Draco closed his eyes and when they opened again Harry saw, as well as felt Draco's defeat. "you Harry," Draco whispered in a choked voice as a single tear trickled down his cheek. "you're the father of my babies".
Stunned Harry let go of Draco's arm and felt himself sway backwards. He tried to drag a breath of air into his lungs, but oxygen suddenly seemed in short supply.
Draco pushed past Harry and out the door, snapping Harry out of his thoughts. He went after Draco, catching him halfway down the walkway leading to the car park. "dammit Draco" Harry said standing in front of Draco and forcing him to stop "I'm not done talking to you!"

Draco lifted that stubborn chin of his. Fire flashed in his eyes "there's nothing to talk about"

"why didn't you tell me about the babies when you found out you were pregnant?" Harry asked with more calm than he felt.
"because you were better off not knowing" Draco replied bluntly.
Harry flinched as if he'd physically slapped him. What kind of monster did he think he was to think he didn't care about Draco's welfare? "since I'm the father, I have a responsibility to those children"
"A responsibility you've made more than clear you don't want. I don't expect anything from you. I'm fully prepared to raise these children on my own." Draco laid a possessive hand on the swell of his belly "I don't want these babies to be some great, noble sacrifice for you. An obligation. I deserve better than that and so do your children"
Draco's words felt like a double punch to his stomach. Oh Merlin he was right. He did deserve better, so much better, and so did the babies. The babies were better off not having him as a father, he knew nothing but the worst about raising a child and being a dad, having learnt from the dursleys. A strange sense of despair wrapped around Harry. He gulped in a breath. There was one selfless act he could do for his children. It killed him to turn and walk away, made a part of his soul shrivel and die, but he did just that. There was no way he would ever subject his children to the hell he'd been through