A/N: Honestly, I didn't plan for anything in this chapter to really happen, it just kind of did. It kind of messed up how I wanted to do the next chapter, so the next update might be a while.

I had a completely different idea for this story when I started it, so now the title doesn't make sense.I'm thinking about changing it, but I have no clue what I'd change it to. I know I'm the only one who knows where this is going, but does anybody have any suggestions for a title so far? I'm completely open to new ideas and would love some feedback.

Now I have to say a few things in response to some of the reviews:

NotAContrivance: Thank you so much for the wonderful review, I really appreciate everything you said! It really does help. Thanks for the lyrics, too, and I really wish they would've put that song on the soundtrack. Maybe the next one? We can always hope!

Destany Mitchell: Thank you so much for pointing that out to me! I honestly had no clue which spelling was right, so thanks for telling me. And if it doesn't annoy the crap out of you guys, I'm going to go back to the original and correct spelling of Kwest's name. Please don't hate me! Buthe's not in thischapteranyway so it'll be differentin the next chapters.Thanks again for letting me know!

To everyone else who reviewed, I REALLY appreciate it and I hope you continue to review for me. Here's the next part. Enjoy!

Oh, stuff written in italics and bold is still Jude's thoughts, but it's like that annoying little voice in your head, kinda like your conscience. Just don't think she's crazy or anything because I don't want her to be. Maybe later. (hehe)

Disclaimer: I'm sick of writing these so let's just say this one goes for the entire story. I do not own Instant Star, any of the characters, any songs used, or any references from media of any form, like a TV show (you'll see what I mean much later).

Chapter 5: Girl in the Mirror

Jude pounded on the door. "Come on, guys, let me in!" She continued her pounding and tried again. "This isn't funny! Open the door!" Nothing. Ugh! Speed can be such a pain in the ass sometimes! I wish he would open the flippin' door already. It's my tour bus, anyway. Well, technically it's G Major's but since it's being used for my tour I think I have a right to call it mine for right now at least.

She took a few steps back and tried to look in through the windows. Once again, nothing. "Stupid tinted windows..." Jude muttered as she glared at the window, hoping one of the guys would get her message and unlock the door for her.

Just as Jude was getting ready to knock the door down herself, she heard a faint click. About time. She shot towards the door and yanked it open. After hopping up the couple of steps, she turned around to close the door. As soon as it was secure, she flipped around again, ready to make mince meat out of her band mates.

"NOW!"

Before Jude could even pick out a familiar face she was bombarded by the three guys. Soon she was completely covered in neon silly string. Apparently their cans finally ran out andJudepicked some green, orange, and blue string off of her shirt before she noticed the box sitting on the couch. She flew over to it and whipped around, armed with her own two cans of silly string.

"Uh oh," Speed realized as he shook his can, trying to see if there was any left. He and the other two guys started scrambling around for anything they could use as a shield. Eventually they ended up with a CD case, a pillow, and two hands, but not before Jude had her revenge.

Once they were all sure that there were no more cans of silly string left, they collapsed on the couch, laughing. Speed was the first to speak.

"Sorry, Jude, but we didn't think the driver or Georgia would appreciate it if we dumped a cooler of water over your head, so we had to improvise."

"It's fine, unless I can't get this stuff out of my hair. THEN you're going to need to hide," Jude teased as she picked at the stuff in her hair, which was already starting to get hard. "Whatever, I'm beat. I'm gonna go crash in my room." She started for her private room, since she wasn't going to share one with any of the guys, but paused at the doorway. "Thanks, guys, really. This tour was awesome thanks mostly to you. Night."

With that she went into her room and locked the door. Jude released a sigh and threw herself down on her bed, contemplating what she was going to do about the crap in her hair. She considered brushing it right now, but that might make it worse. She was too tired to take a shower, so she decided to leave it. Guess I'll see in the morning. I'll just take a shower or something when I get up.

Jude hopped up off of her bed, closed the blinds, and quickly changed into her PJ's. Then she laid back down but moved over to open the blinds again. She stared out of the window at the passing traffic, thinking about all of the things that had happened to her recently and, more specifically, tonight.

Jamie, Tommy, Jamie, Tommy. Who was she more excited to see? Tommy, who ditched her for her sister and almost quit as her producer or Jamie, her boyfriend, the guy who said the sweetest things to her at the airport, who'd never let her down, ever. Jamie, definitely. Anyone could've told me that. Just look at how I greeted and treated them. I obviously didn't care much that Tommy was back. It's not like I ran up and gave him a gigantic hug and kiss like I did to Jamie. But you wanted to. No I didn't. Yes you did. No, I didn't! Oh, forget this! I'm arguing with myself and I'm never going to win. Who do you want to win? Just shut up already!

Jude groaned as she rolled over and grabbed a pillow off of the floor. She sat up and threw it down on her bed and began punching it into shape. Once she was satisfied, she laid back down to face her thoughts.

It killed you to see him with Sadie, admit it. Jude closed her eyes. Fine. It did. But I'm over it--I've got Jamie. A single tear slid down Jude's cheek. Then why did you have to act when you were around Tommy? She brought her hand up and flicked it away. Because it'd be easier that way. Nothing's ever going to happen with him. He's with Sadie now and he's happy. So is Sadie. My sister, my best friend, I'm happy for her. No you're not. Yes, I am. Liar. Damnit, yes I am! I am so fucking happy for my sister that it's killing me! The dam broke. This time the tears flooded down her face and soaked the pillow as they rolled off her cheeks. But she kept her eyes closed. That's not what's killing you and you know it. It took all of the will power Jude had to not scream her head off right then and there. You're right, okay? You're right. It was so hard for me to treat Tommy like that, like he was just some friend that didn't really matter. Because he's anything but. I had to, though, don't you understand? I still have feelings for him even though I'm with Jamie. I can't let Tommy or anyone else know because that would just screw things up so bad between us and I know I'm going to need him now that Darius is my manager. Why can't he just get out my head? WHY? I need him to just leave my thoughts and my mind. I can't have him, he doesn't want me, that should be the end. But why won't it just die? Why can't I let it go? Shay broke my heart and then Tommy stole the broom from me as I was trying to sweep up the pieces. Why, fucking, WHY? I hate this. And I'm going to end it right now no matter what. It's over. It's OVER. It never even began. Goodbye, Tommy. You're nothing to me except my producer and my sister's boyfriend.

Jude wiped her hand across her face and opened her eyes. She reached over and flung the blinds shut. She closed her eyes again.

Who am I kidding?


Knock, knock, knock.

Jude was silent.

Pound, pound, pound!

She still didn't move.

BANG!...BANG!...BANG!

"WHAT!" Jude finally yelled as she covered her head with her pillow.

"We're going to reach Toronto in about twenty or thirty minutes so you might want to get up!" Speed shouted through the door.

"Thanks, Speed. Now leave me alone so I can go back to sleep."

"No problem, Jude, but when we get there and you're still out you can't blame me for the tactics the other guys are going to use to wake you up."

"Thanks for the warning."

"Anytime."

Jude heard his footsteps head towards the front of the bus. She groaned and sat up, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes. There's no way I slept the entire way from New York to Toronto. She glanced around and realized there wasn't a clock in the room. She made a mental note to put one in her room on her next tour. Jude threw the covers off and grabbed her bag, which was lying in a corner. After fumbling around for what felt like forever, she found her phone and flipped it open to check the time. How can it be ten in the morning already? It felt like I had barely fallen asleep before Speed was hammering on my door. Jude unconsciously ran her hand through her hair but stopped when it practically got stuck. Oh, God, the stupid silly string. It's going to take me forever to get it out of my hair. Clearly frustrated, Jude searched the room for a fairly clean pair of pants and a shirt. She grabbed a couple more things that she'd need from her bag and unlocked the door. Cautiously, Jude poked her head out and seeing that the guys were busy munching on Froot Loops she made a dash for the bathroom in case they had some more silly string that they'd been hiding.

Making sure the door was securely locked, Jude turned the knob for the shower on. Nothing happened. She tried again and began twisting it in a big circle, trying to figure out what was wrong. A tiny trickly made its way out of the shower nozzle. Letting out a frustrated groan, Jude barely stopped herself from kicking the shower door.

Speed must've heard and knocked on the door. "Everything all right in there, Jude?"

"No, everything's not all right. I've got all this silly string gunk stuck in my hair and the shower's not working!"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. Kyle used up the last of the water this morning for his shower. Sorry."

"Are you kidding me!" By now Jude was practically hysterical, partly because she was sleep deprived but mostly because she was a girl with a bunch of gunk stuck in her hair and no way to get it out until she got home.

With a sigh Jude stripped out of her pajamas and pulled on the clothes she brought with her from her room. Too tired and hungry to care much about her hair now, Jude went to search the cabinets for some scrap of food that might be left, even though she knew it was highly unlikely. Sharing a tour bus with three teenage guys was a lot of fun but the cabinets were always empty and the bus was always totally trashed.

By pure luck Jude managed to find a clean bowl and spoon. She headed for the table where the guys were sitting with the box of Froot Loops in the middle. They all looked up at her as she drew closer to them.

"Don't any of you dare say a word. It's all your fault, anyway," Jude threatened as she grabbed the cereal box. They all clearly realized that she was a girl that did not want to be messed with.

"Must be PMS," Kyle whispered to Speed before Jude sat down.

Shoving Speed over in the little booth, she took a seat and placed her bowl down. "I heard that, Kyle." Jude turned the box over and began shaking it. Empty. "I swear there is going to be some serious bloodshed on this bus when I find out who finished off the Froot Loops."

Speed and Wally, the other band member, shot a look at Kyle, who was busy munching. Feeling their stares, he glanced up and tried to replay what had just been said. Finally remembering and seeing Jude's face, Kyle slid his bowl across the table towards Jude. She stopped it with her hand and smiled at Kyle, who still had his spoon in his mouth, and dug in. There wasn't that much left, but Jude was starving and didn't really care. Most girls wouldn't have eaten it, but after spending the last six weeks with Speed, Wally, and Kyle, Jude didn't really care anymore.

Finishing her meager breakfast, Jude dumped the bowl and spoon in the already overloaded sink. Frank, their driver, called out that they would be reaching G Major in less than five minutes. Great, just great. Why couldn't he just drop me off at home? There's no way in hell I want to be seen like this, in public, no less. What if Tommy's there? Realizing what she just thought, Jude clenched her teeth togther. So what if he is? You don't care, remember?

Figuring she might as well make an effort to look normal, Jude headed for her room on search of a hairbrush. Finding one, she went to the tiny bathroom, the only place on the bus containing a mirror. Starting at the ends, Jude began working out the knots in her hair and the dried silly string. Surprisingly, the silly string came out pretty easily. It was the knots that were killing her.

"We're here!" Frank shouted from the driver's seat. Jude felt the engine die as Frank removed the keys. The guys could be heard scrambling for the door, wanting to be the first one off. After being on it for the past six weeks, Jude couldn't blame them.

She stopped for a moment, put the brush down, and looked at herself in the mirror. Who am I? Who is that person staring back at me? Jude realized that even if she didn't have bags under her eyes and wild hair, she still wouldn't recognize herself. I've changed. She grabbed the brush. So who am I now?

Almost done. Jude worked frantically to get the last bit of gunk out of her hair. Figures, she thought as she encountered an incredibly nasty knot. Giving one huge tug, Jude finally felt the knot give. But it was soon apparent that there was a little too much force behind it because her hand crashed into the mirror.

Jude watched as the shards rained onto the floor, then as red drops followed them. She looked at her hand and realized that the red drops were blood from her hand. As this realization occurred, so did the pain. Jude screamed.

Sorry if it said there was an update for this earlier. I accidentally uploadedit when it wasn't ready so i deleted it and that led to a big drama where I couldn't upload any documents at all. Drove me nuts, but it's finally working now.The end of this chapter'snot really a cliffhanger, but I hope you liked it anyways.