Yazoo collapsed onto the makeshift bed. His throat felt tight and something in his chest hurt so much he could hardly breath around it. He wouldn't cry, he couldn't. Loz was the one who cried. His thoughts were going a million miles a minute in his head. He missed his brothers so much. How could they just leave him here like this? And these people? Why were they trying to help him? He had tried to kill the one called Reno, and Cloud on more than one occasion. He was even more confused at his reaction to the woman called Tifa. He had let her hold him a little, even for just a second it still confused him. The only people who had ever really touched him were his brothers. /Kadaj……../
Yazoo tried his best to make his mind blank. He didn't want to think about them. He buried his face in the pillow. He was so tired, but sleep seemed so elusive. His brain was demanding answers. What would he do now? Where would he go? He couldn't really stay here. When would he be strong enough to leave? Yazoo had always been the one to plan the details of things for the brothers. Places to stay, food, money, supplies etc. He had been the responsible one. Now he was responsible for nothing and for no one. There was nothing left for him now.
Cold settled through his mind as the thought sunk in. He really had no purpose for living anymore. It didn't scare him to think of it. Just left him feeling unsettled. His mind quieted down and finally sleep came. He could only hope that it would be dreamless.
The next few days were uneventful yet Cloud had an uneasy feeling about Yazoo. He was too calm, too emotionless. He spent his time in the room that had become his. Cloud had begun moving his office supplies to the attic. It was a work in progress. Yazoo said little and ate almost nothing. Tifa tried to talk to him and Marlene tried to get him to play. Both were greeted with silence. Cloud expected that this morning would be no different.
He went down to the bar where Tifa was making breakfast and getting the bar ready to open. He sat on a stool and she smiled at him and set a plate of oatmeal and toast in front of him. He nodded to her in thanks. "you have a delivery today?" she asked.
"yes, in Kalm. Vincent should be here soon too. He called yesterday." Cloud noted that Tifa was probably the only person on the planet who could make oatmeal really taste good. There were pounding footsteps heard on the stairs and Marlene came running in.
"Tifa! Tifa! Yazoo…. He's went out the window. I saw him running down the alley."
Cloud cursed and shot outside. He looked up and down the street but there was no sign of the silver haired man. Tifa and Marlene stood in the doorway. "which way did he go?" asked Cloud tersely as he hoped on his motorcycle.
Marlene pointed and Cloud got a sick feeling in his stomach. Yazoo was headed back to the ruined building where they had found Loz.
Yazoo ran. It felt good after so many days of inactivity. He had finally managed to figure it out. There had been a mistake. He was meant to be with his brothers. Cloud had been wrong to rescue him. He should have left Yazoo to die. Sephiroth's bodies of thoughts were done with. Yazoo would correct the mistake.
His knee had healed completely and he ran and jumped his way up the crumbling building. Higher and higher. He would go to the very top where they had last fought Cloud. Where Kadaj had died. He made it finally. He looked up into the gray sky. Then down at the ground below. There, that was the longest fall and had sharp jutting pieces of concrete sticking up at the bottom. Yazoo backed up a few yards. He took a deep breath the broke into a full out run, his feet had just left the edge when he heard someone scream his name. It didn't matter anymore. He closed his eyes and felt the air tear at his clothes and hair. The sick sensation of falling was the only thing that felt real.
Cloud pulled his bike up short when he saw a slim figure standing on the top of the building. Yazoo was still for a moment and Cloud thought that maybe he had been wrong. That Yazoo just wanted to come to the place he had lost his brothers. But when he started to run Cloud knew he wouldn't stop. He screamed his name but it was too late. He had failed Loz.
Cloud jumped off his bike and ran forward. Maybe he could catch Yazoo and break his fall. He knew it was ludicrous even as he did it. Yazoo was so high up and he was just free falling with no direction but down. Cloud saw a surge of red out of the corner of his eye. He stopped. Vincent was here.
His fall was halted abruptly and Yazoo's mind went into shock for a moment as he realized he wasn't in the grip of gravity any longer but surrounded by leather clad arms, a metal claw and flowing red fabric.
He felt himself being lowered to the ground. He lay there still waiting for his brain to grasp what had happened. He lay on his back on the ground with Vincent crouched over him, a knee on either side of Yazoo and his hands beside his head. Yazoo looked at the man for a minute. Then something snapped inside Yazoo and he was screaming and beating on Vincent's chest. "How could you! What fucking right do you have? How could you?" Vincent just let him rant. Yazoo eventually stopped screaming and sobbed.
"Let it out. Tell me why you are so angry." said Vincent. His calm voice was maddening to Yazoo. "why the hell do you care? You couldn't understand if I told you!" Yazoo moved to crawl away from Vincent but he just held the smaller man in place with his metal claw. "I can understand. You are the one here who seems to be confused." Vincent's red eyes seemed to burn into his captive. Yazoo struggled in the other mans grip screaming. "I hate it! I hate it all. It was all a lie! They all lied to me damn it!" Yazoo was crying now, tears winding down his face and into his hair. He turned onto his side and pounded the ground with his fist. He let out a final scream that almost froze even Vincents blood. "Sephiroth!" Yazoo choked on the end of the cry and eventually calmed down. He just lay in the ground underneath Vincent, his eyes closed and his breathing shallow. Cloud came to kneel beside them.
"I don't understand" Cloud watched Yazoo slowly open his eyes. A minute passed and Cloud didn't think he would get an answer. Yazoo sighed then sat up, Vincent let him but stayed near. "If everyone who was in your life died, Tifa, the kids, AVALANCHE everything that was anything. What would you do? With no one left? With no purpose?" Yazoo's voice was almost a whisper but both men heard him clearly.
"I have felt that before." Cloud hated thinking of his last battle with Sephiroth. He had lost Zach and Aeris and Sephiroth who he had admired. Yazoo lifted his eyes to meet his. It was like he was searching Clouds soul for the truth. Cloud held out his hand to the smaller man. "You aren't completely alone, you still have one brother, and Tifa has already made it clear that any family of mine is welcome. I also doubt Vincent would have saved you if he didn't want anything to do with you."
Yazoo looked from Vincent to Cloud. / Funny how he doesn't seem to mind Vincent's eyes. Most people can't stand them long/ Cloud still had his hand out. Yazoo reached toward it tentatively at first, then firmly and Cloud used their opposing weights to pull them both to their feet.
Vincent stood beside them. "We have company." he said and Cloud heard the sound of rapid footfalls in their direction. He turned to see Reno and Rude running towards them. They stopped when they saw them all standing there. "Tifa said she thought you could use some help." said Rude. Reno was panting and out of breath. Cloud looked back at Yazoo who was watching Reno with mild amusement. "Everything's fine" he said to the Turks.
Reno straightened then walked over to them. "Next time you want to run off and scare the hell out of everyone could you at least do it at a more reasonable time than at the crack of dawn?" Yazoo just quirked an eyebrow at him and walked forward until he was facing off with the Turk. "If I wanted to scare the hell out of you it wouldn't take much effort. As it is that wasn't my intention. When it is you will know."
Reno just smiled back. "Wow, I haven't heard you say so much at one time. Guess I must be rubbing off on ya" Yazoo gave one of his small "Hmphs" and backed away slightly.
Cloud gave Reno a look that said Back Off. "I see Shin Ra still keeps its nose is everyone's business." said Vincent to the Turks.
Rude looked affronted and Reno just shrugged nonchalantly. "What did you expect? Rufus would just forget about them?" he said flippantly referring to Yazoo. Cloud looked annoyed and went back to his motorcycle. Yazoo was looking up at the building he had just jumped off of, lost in thought. Vincent tapped his shoulder and motioned to where Cloud was sitting perched atop his bike. "I'll meet you at 7th heaven" he said and walked back down the alley.
Yazoo realized he was supposed to ride back with Cloud. He hesitated. If he went back with them, what would it be for? Why go back just to be useless? Yazoo remembered when he and his brothers had begun their search for Mother. Kadaj could go on about how life would be once they found her. No more searching and running or fighting. Just a family, a life . Is that not what Cloud had just offered him when he had held out his hand?
Yazoo walked forward past the Turks and climbed on behind his brother. The blonde said nothing and Yazoo made a mental note to dodge the spikes. "Thank you." he said softly before Cloud started the engine. Cloud nodded before they sped off back toward the bar.
Reno scratched his head with a puzzled look on his face. "Why do I feel like we just missed something important?"