Disclaimer: I don't own anything that I didn't make up. Like Oompa Loompas. And Willy Wonk. You people should know that by know, because if I did, I wouldn't be sitting here, I would be in Maui or Oahu. Doing something other than spending my Saturday morning typing.

I could be doing other things.

Oh, and it didn't exactly happen this way, but it's better than what really happened.

CHAPPY 1

My Bright Idea

It was on a Sunday night when I was reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I got to the chapter about the Oompa Loompas, and then I decided to go to sleep, since it was already midnight and I was tired and I was hungry and I like ranting and I like sleep. To the point. Okay. So I got to thinking. That isn't very nice, making Oompa Loompas work for chocolate! And using them as guinea pigs! So I decided to rescue them. But I would need help. I decided to run the idea by Paige.

"Trisha," she stated skeptically, "how are we going to go to England and rescue a bunch of Oompa Loompas? I know that it's cruel, and that it's the right thing to do, but what can we do? I mean…" But I had stopped listening.

"Well…," I said slowly. She didn't know it, but I had not only found, but stuffed into my locker, the very person she most wanted to meet…well, sorta. "Paige, if you help me, I have someone in my locker who you might be interested in meeting…" I saw Paige's eyes light up, because I know who she thought it was.

"Who is it?" she whispered.

"You'll see," I led her out to my locker…and there was my cousin, Kristin, bound and gagged.

"What?" Paige said after she saw who it was. "I thought it was Orlando Bloom!"

"You're lucky I even got her!" I told her. "I just decided to rescue the Oompa Loompas last night! Sheesh, who do you think I am? It would have taken me longer than a few hours to find him. She was hard enough!"

"But…but…," Paige looked like she was about to cry, and Kristin was making quite a bit of noise.

"C'mon, let's get her out of here," I said quietly, because teachers were kinda looking at us funny, like we were mental retards who were acting like normal people. As Steve would say "I'm just a little 'tarded!" He's a weird dude. My dad has lots of weird friends though. I won't even get into my mother's friends.

"But…but…," Paige kept muttering.

"Hm Hmmm Hm!" Kristin was trying to say. She couldn't though, because she still had her mouth taped shut. I know what she meant to say was "Shut UP Paige!"

"Oh that's right," I said, suddenly remembering something, "your still tied up, aren't you? We'll untie you when we get outside." So we took her outside, and we untied her.

"WHAT IS GOING ON!" Kristin yelled. "FIRST YOU – " I clamped my hand over her mouth.

"Shut up until we get to our meeting place," I whispered into her ear. "Then you can yell until we get sick of it." So I led them out to the far end of the playground, where that fence is. Paige knows what I'm talking about.

Kristin gave me a look that said plainly "I hate you." So I responded with a look that said "I really don't care."

"Here we are," I stated. "The meeting place. Our driver should be here any moment now."

"What do you mean by 'our driver'?" Paige asked, finally saying something other than 'but.'

"You'll see," I said shrewdly.

"Can I yell now?" Kristin asked.

"No," I said flatly.

"Who's that in that blue Durango?" Paige asked, pointing.

"That," I declared, "would be our driver."

AN: Alright, if you have a problem, review. If you don't, review. And if you're going to flame me, please sign in first, or I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN! MARK MY WORDS! Ahem.