Disclaimer: The reason I'm working on this is because I have some time alone and I need something to do. One is the loneliest number…but I'm never alone. Jimmy Bob, Timmy Bob, and Irwin are here with me right now. You'll know who they are by the end of the chapter, hopefully.

Chappy 2

Our Driver

A tall, gangly, sixteen-year-old got out of the driver's seat. Kristin rolled her eyes, and Paige looked puzzled.

"C'mon Trisha," he said impatiently, "I'm not waiting here all day."

"Who's that?" Paige whispered.

"This," I declared, "is my cousin Troy. Kristin, you know him from Jacob's birthday party. And these two," I said to Troy, "are Paige and Kristin."

"Hi," He said, looking at the floor.

"Why is he here?" Kristin whispered to me.

"He's the only one who would take us to Port Huron for twenty bucks and a case of Coca-Cola."

"Oh," Paige said. "That makes sense."

"Good." I told them. "Now get in the Durango. We have a long ride ahead of us."

"Why do we have to go to Port Huron?" Kristin asked.

"Because that's where our ship is waiting." I answered.

"But you don't know anything about sailing!" she replied.

"It comes with a very capable crew." I mumbled. By now Paige had been silent for about five minutes, which is very un-Paige-like. She's normally talking constantly. No offense to Paige, but it's true.

I got into the front seat so I could make sure that Troy wasn't going to take us to the wrong place. Besides, I didn't think either of them wanted to read a map anyway.

"So who are we going to meet?" Paige asked abruptly. "Is it Orlando Bloom?"

"No, it's an informant from the factory." I answered. "He's going to help us get inside. He also said something about having a present for both of you, since I told him how I had to drag you to make you come along."

"Is it Orlando Bloom?" Paige asked.

"Is it Criss Angel?" Kristin inquired.

"Is it Coca-Cola and a Gameboy?" Troy queried.

"I dunno," I answered them all, "you'll have to see when we get there."

We drove around for a while, I occasionally yelling at Troy for making a wrong turn, and Kristin and Paige constantly arguing about who's hotter, so and so or such and such. I wasn't really paying that much attention. I wanted to see Oompa Loompas.

After a few hours of "Are we there yet," and Troy nearly killing us several times, we were all glad when we reached Port Huron.

"YAY!" Everyone yelled.

"Where's the ship?" Paige asked. She was eager to see it, because she loved the movie Pirates of the Caribbean and was looking forward to see what kind of ship we were going to ride in.

"There's the informant!" I yelled, pointing to a man in a tan overcoat and one of those plastic glasses with the nose and mustache attached. He was holding a sign that said. "Lorencz Party" and was looking at us cross-eyed.

"HEY!" I yelled to him. He uncrossed his eyes, so I walked up to him. "Is that you Irwin? Irwin Shiggles?"

"How do you know my name?" He hissed.

"Duh, we tried to take over the world together. You've met Paige before, I believe."

"This is too weird," Paige said. "Irwin Shiggles is a fictional character in Trisher's blue notebook. There's no way he could be standing here right now. What's next? Faramir and Boromir are going to magically appear next to us? You gotta be kidding us, Trisher."

"Go and touch him." I told her. "Go on. He won't bite. He already ate."

"I don't want to."

"Too bad!" I dragged Paige over next to him and started to poke her. "touch him and I'll stop poking you." Paige grabbed his shoulder.

"Okay," Paige said happily. "You're real. I have no problem with that."

"Hey Troy," Kristin said. "Can I see your license? I want to see what you look like."

"Um…" Troy replied, looking very uncomfortable. He murmured something that we couldn't hear.

"What was that?" I asked him.

"I haven't got my license yet. Happy?"

"Then why did you agree to drive us here?" I queried.

"I wanted the twenty bucks."

"That's gay." Kristin told him.

"Uh-huh," Paige agreed. I rolled my eyes.

"Irwin," I asked, "where's my ship?"

"What ship?" he asked.

"My ship!" I yelled frantically. "The Leggy! You know which one I'm talking about! DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T GET ME MY SHIP!"

"It'll be here," he stated calmly, looking at his fingernails with crossed eyes.

And there she was, in all her glory, the Leggy.

AN: I hope you liked it. You'll find out who Jimmy Bob and Timmy BOb are, if you don't already know.