Hellish Problem
Disclaimer: don't own a thing, thank you very much Mr Whedon! EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL!
Distribution: oh go on, but as first.
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Giles and Oz managed to shut the door behind them, with there combined strength they held the door tightly closed. But not for long as the vampires began to break holes with their swords through the door.
"Giles?" Oz grunted as he squint both his eyes, when pieces of wood blasted across his face.
"Yes?" Giles asked.
"I think it's a bad time to tell you this, but you know that book I burrowed at school?" Oz said.
"What about it?" Giles barely dodged the sword coming through.
"I still got it" Oz said.
Giles chuckled at that "Well as long as you kept it in good condition I'm sure there's no reason to return it"
A sharp blast of light hit the room as Gunn, Doyle and Cordelia appeared behind them. It took them five seconds to realise what was going on.
"I told you to hurry up!" Cordelia shouted as ran into help.
"Cordelia?" Giles exclaimed as he recognised the brunette "What are you doing here?"
"To stop you going out for the count!" Cordelia she looked her shoulder and shouted "What the hell are you two waiting for?"
"We don't interfere" Doyle said for the both of them.
"If you two don't help I'm going to make sure that you'd never see daylight again!" Cordelia spat out angrily.
Gunn looked at Doyle, Doyle looked Gunn and they both shrugged as if to say 'better do as she says'. They both pulled out daggers from there belts, as they neared the door the daggers began to glow and grew longer and sharper, like a glowing sword.
"On the count of three you move from the door" Gunn commanded.
"WHAT?" the watcher, the werewolf and the ex-May Queen shouted.
"One" Doyle said.
"But you can't!" Giles said.
"Two" Gunn said ignoring Giles.
"You're crazy!" Cordelia shouted.
"Three!" Doyle shouted
With that Cordelia shoved Giles and Oz out of the way, bringing the door open by the vampires. The vampires lunged for the first thing they sure, Gunn and Doyle. Just they closed the gap the angels attacked. Never in Giles's life had he seen such grace flowed through a fight, the angels seem to dance around the vampires as they slashed, sliced, hacked, cut and chopped the vampires flesh. At that moment the angels got bored decided to get to business. Gunn had sliced his sword up, cutting his vampire in two while Doyle decapitated two in one swing. They both simultaneously kicked out at a pair of vampires, making them fly across the room, producing cracks as they hit the wall. Bringing the fight away from the humans and the werewolf.
The two vampires looked shocked that they had come across something extremely powerful. They both pulled themselves off the floor and ran for it. Only to have Gunn grabbing them by throat when they bumped into him at the door. Angels were a lot faster than the human eye. Doyle came out of the room, smiled the tapped his sword on ground, as if to say he was ready.
"Right boys, you tell me why you're here and I won't throw you to my buddy" Gunn said "He wants to practice an American sport, baseball and since we don't have any baseballs on us you'll have to do"
"Yeah" Doyle said as Giles, Oz and Cordelia came out to watch.
"We're not telling anything" one the vampires said, only to be thrown over to Doyle and sliced in two.
The ashes showered Cordelia, Oz and Giles, looking shocked at the angels behaviour. Was this a game to them?
"That was a bit of a foul ball" Doyle said as he brushed the ashes off his coat.
Apparently it was.
"Yeah it was" Gunn said thoughtfully then looked at the only vampire he was holding "What was your buddy saying again?"
"None of us shall portray our master!" the vampire said.
"Master? And here I thought you'd be the smartass that planned this" Gunn said sarcastically "Ready for another Doyle?"
"Yep, bring him on!" Doyle cheered.
"Are all angels crazy?" Cordelia blurted.
"Only the good-looking ones" Doyle said, keeping his eye on the target.
"Men!" Cordelia exclaimed as she rolled her eyes "You're all the same! If you can't find an enjoyment in life you turn to sports"
"Oh Cordelia do shut up" Giles drawled.
Gunn threw the remaining vampire into the air and at the very ready Doyle. On the last second Doyle sliced his sword across and through the vampire. The vampire screamed as he burst into ashes just like his companion.
"Well that was fun" Doyle said happily as his sword became a dagger again "Anymore?"
"Nah, that's all of them" Gunn said as his sword turned into a dagger like Doyle's, then put it away.
"No that wasn't" Cordelia said "I counted eight and you guys killed five" she looked at Giles as if he could tell her she was wrong.
"I counted five but I could be wrong Cordelia" Giles said "I was more interested to keep the door shut than the number of vampires"
"Same here" Oz said when Cordelia looked at him.
"Well this is great how the hell would we stop this 'master' if we can't find out who he is?" Cordelia growled.
"She" Doyle corrected her when he picked up one of the dead vampires dagger and recognised the carvings.
"She? You mean you knew!" Gunn nearly shouted.
"Those guys uniform I don't recognise" Doyle said then gestured the dagger in his hand "But this I know"
"So who is it?" Oz said.
"I don't know" Doyle said
"But you just said-" Cordelia began
"I know what I said Cordy" Doyle snapped at Cordelia as Gunn took the dagger off his friend as he took a closer inspection "But what we're dealing with is not demon"
"How can you be sure?" Giles said.
"The metal of the blade, doesn't exist here" Doyle said "It's from another dimension, a non demon or non human dimension"
"So how would you know if it is a she?" Oz asked.
"There's markings on the dagger, the maker of the dagger was female" Doyle said then Gunn "And strong"
"Strong?" Giles said a bit puzzled.
"What's the strongest metal on earth?" Doyle asked.
"Titanium" Giles said without a thought.
"This" Doyle nodded to the dagger "is Kilelium"
"Oh Lord" Giles said looking at the dagger like it was about to explode "You can't be serious"
"He is" Gunn said.
"Hello some of us didn't walk down the genius parade" Cordelia snapped "What are you talking about?"
"Kilelium is ten times stronger than titanium Cordelia" Giles said "and it's from a hell dimension"
"I thought there was one hell" Oz said.
"The is one but there are versions of it but not as bad as the original thing" Gunn said then shuddered "Which I should know, since I've been down in one of them"
"What was it like?" Cordelia asked curiously.
"Having your heart cut out and re-grow again, isn't a nice thing" Gunn said.
"Tell me about it" Doyle said.
"Wait you two…what did you do to go down there?" Cordelia said.
"One of our charges were sent down there by accident" Gunn said "Had to spend a hundred years of being torture toys for the Devils before we could take the spirit back to it's rightful place"
"I thought you can't trespass on there territory" Giles reminding them.
"Not if you make a deal with them" Gunn said "Torturing two angels for a hundred years for the price of a measly soul, what devil would give that up? But I think they kept us for a hundred and twenty before Ilyria and Fred came, it's no wonder we don't make deals with-"
"We're getting sidetrack here" Doyle said taking the dagger out of Gunn's hand "Look" he points to a particular symbol "that's the crest from their uniforms, if you can find it then you could identify the 'master'" he gave it to Giles who smiled in returned.
The crest look like a red eye with three white pentagrams within the black part of the eye.
"Maybe you should ask the watcher council about it" Doyle suggested "They could be helpful"
"Or not since Giles got fired like two years ago" Cordelia said.
"So why is she still your slayer?" Gunn asked in disbelief.
"Because I fired the Council" Buffy said barely letting go of Angelus's hand so no one would notice "What happened? Did the undead have a party?"
"Well I wouldn't call it much of a party" Doyle said.
"Friend of yours?" Buffy asked Angelus nodded in reply.
"Hey and a good one at that!" Doyle said.
"Is everyone okay?" Buffy asked ignoring Doyle.
"Yeah we're fine" Oz said
"Good" Buffy said.
"Well, not really" Giles said "Cordelia says that there have been eight vampires when I counted five"
"Could be that Cordelia must have added for empathises" Buffy said.
"Hey in my vision I saw eight vampires!" Cordelia snapped defensively.
"Vision?" Giles said.
"Yeah something I picked up from the this evening" Cordelia said "The full techno coloured, mind numbing and skull crushing visions"
"Well this is good news" Giles said.
"Good news? Hello, massive migranes and dizziness!" Cordelia exclaimed "How is this good news?"
"Well for starters your our guide from the powers that be" Giles said.
"Can't it be someone else?" Buffy moaned.
"Hey you're not the only one suffering here" Cordelia snipped.
"Just think of it like this, your our phone to the powers that be except we'd be receivin'" Doyle said.
"Oh great I'm being used!" Cordelia growled.
"More along the lines that your extremely important at the moment" Gunn said.
"That I can live with" Cordelia said.
"Back to business, you said you saw eight and yet you guys killed five right? That means they escaped with or without stuff" Angelus said "and since this is a magic shop it most likely they taken something magical"
"Now that we established that we may as well clean up" Giles said "Gunn, Doyle can you clear up around the counter. Oz, Cordelia can you clear up around the tables and shelf please?" With that they did as they were told. Giles then turned to Buffy and Angelus "When you were patrolling did you find anything?"
"Other than a snake demon, nothing" Buffy said.
"Can you describe it?" Giles asked.
"Half human and the rest snaky from bottom down and it had a gross snaky head" Buffy said "bit like a cobra really"
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you've killed a pet of a Hellgod" Doyle said half heartily as he cleaned up a the rubbish.
"Yeah and sent those vampires to come here" Gunn chuckled.
"And told them to grab a few ingredients" Doyle said.
They laughed like it was the most un-likeliest thing ever to happen, until the realisation hit them.
The hellgod awaited the arrival of her minions, but about lose her patient. She had been waiting for a long time, she may be immortal but time seemed grind it's heel into her backside over the years. She had been waiting to regain her amulet for a centaury, ever since it was cast into the dimension by that damn mage. It groan in her head, gnawing in her mind, she could sense it was here but she couldn't find it.
"What's taking them so long?" she shouted as she threw her drink against the wall only to have it caught by an invisible force.
"Ever heard of patience is a virtue" a voice said as the cup gestured around.
"Show yourself" the hell god snarled.
"Nah rather play Casper, besides I don't kind to rudeness pet" the voice said as the cup was gently placed onto a coffee table.
"Fine what do you want, Casper?" she said looking around the area that this Casper was.
"hmm, what do I want?" the voice said "I want to be the big bad around here but that's going to happen so not much really"
"Get to the point" Hellgod exasperated.
"The First is offering you a deal" the voice said "Power over the other hellgods in exchanged for you loyalty"
"The First, why would it want me to help it" The hellgod looked suspiciously "It's got devils and harbingers, why would it need me?"
"A slayer"
"You can't be serious" she laughed "One girl against the army of the First, yeah I see her winning it"
"This slayer is different" Spike appeared before her, relaxing on a couch "She has powerful friends, endless demon knowledge and about two guardian angels watching her"
"Really?" the Hellgod asked.
"Really" Spike confirmed "Other than that there's a prophecy about her and the First, it hasn't been deciphered yet but the First rather not be destroyed"
"And so it wants me and my boys to destroy the slayer and her mutts" the hellgod smiled "Why me though?"
"Well for starters your closer and to activate that amulet of yours you need slayer blood" Spike said.
"There's two of them" the hellgod said boredly "One here and one in jail, simple as that"
"This is really up to you" Spike said "Free will and all, but I'd go with this deal. The power you have is a teardrop compare to power the First is offering is an ocean" Spike whispered "You could rule your home dimension".
"The slayer has two guardian angels on her" the hellgod said "I would need some protection myself if I agree to this deal"
"Then I, William the Bloody, will guide and protect you" Spike and the Hellgod smiled "Gorifica"
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