"I think the car is angry," Lex remarks about the grinding gears under Lois's operation.
"Why would the car hate me? I'm a very soft person, usually," Lois responds.
"It's growling at you."
"It's probably growling because it realizes what a piece of crap it is," Lois says.
"Do you have any idea how much I spent on this car?" Lex asks.
"Do you?" Lois just has to know.
Lex rolls the question around in his head for a second, and then laughs because, "You know, I don't. I have no idea how much it cost."
"You are a spoiled baby, do you know that?" Lois asks him, laughing as well.
"I am! I'm a spoiled little brat!" Lex exclaims. "I have no idea how much things cost."
"How much does milk cost at the supermarket?" Lois quizzes him.
"You buy milk? I thought it came free from cows!" Lex howls, probably poking a little fun at himself.
"You have cows at the mansion?" Lois inquires.
"No, but we should. I could buy some cows to get free milk. I don't care how much they cost. Speaking of cows, how much longer until we get to Clark's?" Lex looks around, not recognizing the scenery at such low velocity.
"About four hours at this speed," Lois notices, her buzz noticeably dying. "Give me the instructions for this piece of crap car," she demands, motioning for the glove compartment.
"The instructions?" Lex asks, puzzled.
"You know, the directions," Lois pleads, not being able to find the word "manual".
"To the car?" Lex probes further. "Okay." He opens the glove compartment releasing a ziploc bag full of little white rolls.
"Hey!" Lex cheers, "Look what I found!"
"Yabba Dabba Doobies!" Lois squeals. "What are they doing in there?"
"Maybe they were sleeping," Lex whispers, petting the bag.
"Well wake 'em up," Lois says, pushing in the car lighter.
Lex's long fingers release the seal of the bag, pulling out a small joint that he looks at lovingly.
"Give me that," Lois says reaching out, snatching the roll from his hand. "I wanna see the dragon."
"The dragon?" he asks, lifting the bag to see if he missed something.
"The magic dragon," Lois laughs, igniting the paper with a flame. "Come on, Puff Daddy, Momma wants to fly."
Lex bursts out laughing, smacking his hand against the dash, spilling the contents of the bag all over the car.
"Don't let them run away!" Lois squeals, taking a drag off the weed.
As her lungs draw in the smoke, the small cab of the car is penetrated by the glow of green, the roll expelling a neon mist as she exhales.
Lex closes his eyes and breathes in deep the second hand smoke, grabbing for the joint.
"Wow!" Lois exclaims, pounding on the steering wheel. "How did this grass get so green?" she asks giddily.
"Because of the way it's grown," Lex explains and then takes a long drag.
"You grow your own pot?" she asks. "That's impressive. Especially having the balls to grow it right here in America's heartland."
"Well, I've got more than balls, I've gone one hell of a stash of miracle grow," he gloats, inhaling himself. "You'd be surprised by how much quality stuff is grown here in Kansas," he explains, his voice sounding like he's sucked in helium. "But, I don't grow this to sell. No, no, no. This is strictly a private stash."
"It's not like you need the money," Lois reminds him. "So, how do you grow it?"
"There was a time, a long time ago," Lex begins," when fire rained from the sky! God was angry! He wanted to smite us all!"
Lois is entranced by his story, as if he were a prophet preaching the truth of some drunken god.
"What was left behind were the glowing stones of life! And when you use those glowing stones of life as well, fertilizer you get...you get...a completely perfect high!"
"How did you discover what they do? The glowing stones of life?" she asks inhaling deep and holding it.
"My daddy bought a creamed corn factory, and he was trying to make the largest, creamiest corn in the whole world," Lex says wide-eyed, reaching for the joint.
"Your daddy?"
Lex thrusts his finger into Lois's face screaming, "Don't make fun of my Daddy! He's a brilliant man!"
Lois loses it, exhaling her smoke involuntarily as she can't contain her laughter.
"My daddy looks like a lion," Lex explains, then suddenly realizing, "I just got his name! LION-el. That's brilliant!"
"The car stopped!" Lois notices.
"Because, you stopped driving it."
"Why did I stop driving?" Lois asks, seriously not knowing the answer to her own question.
"I don't know. We could ask the Kent's mailbox here," Lex leans out the window and talks to the mailbox with the name "Kent" roughly painted on the side. "Excuse me Mailbox Kent. Why did we stop driving?"
The mailbox sits there dumbly.
"That mailbox has the same last name as Clark," Lois figures out all on her own.
They instantly look at each other, and as if a light bulb ignites over both of their heads they squeal, "Clark!"