Ghost: Part Five

There are lots of things in life we wish we could redo or say, times that we all dread with a passion. Most of these times are caused by hidden emotions that were currently cowering behind massive mental blocks, feelings silently waiting to be released but a force field of embarrassment or fear kept them from doing so. Its these times that make you want to rewind time, take a step back so you can say or do what was being avoided by the barriers in your mind.

How it burns to curse so much pain on yourself for making such a simple error; how it stings to take note of it and feel sorry for something that no antidote of hope or time could heal. The scars left by these cruel memories are left on your heart, left behind so you can wince in utter disgust every time they are bought up. Its these kind of moments that all you can do is sit and wait, listen for them to dissolve into the past like the other dictating memories that took captive of your brain. How I want this newfound anger to leave me be, to abandon me in this sea of guilt that I have created so mindlessly. Why is life so vile and hard sometimes?

I sit on my couch, my knees curled up next to my chest and my lower lip trembling with much emotion. There are many things I have called upon in my head, several concepts that I have repeated over and over. He's back, theres no denying it now...

Flashback

The gentle tap of rain against the glossy glass was putting my sleepy mind to sleep, ushering it into slumber even though it was no where near time for rest. The brushes slapped against the building were extending their branches out towards my window, as if they were begging to get out of the cold drops and feel the comfort of my heated office.

I payed no mind to the foliage as I sat alone in the dark, not bothering to get a flashlight to give me any source of light. I was enjoying the darks presence strangely. It respected my privacy, asked no hindering questions and complained of nothing except how foul the light is. At that moment, I agreed with it. The light could be so pushy and never tells lies. Everything is always visible and exposed, no secrets can be hidden away from the raw truth. Sometimes, its good to not be able to see, not be able to bask in the real facts. Some things are just meant to be kept away, and in the light no such things ever occur.

The seconds ticked on slowly, each reaching in me and seeing which thought they awoke as their invisible fingers brushed against one of my memories intangible surfaces. Each moment bought a new concept to ponder about and each second added more stress and cluttered thought to my minds capacity.

The low growl of thunder awoke me from what ever sleep I was falling in and lightening once again flashed, killing all the dark in my office as it leaked in. As the light poured inside I watched it highlight the photos on my wall and several books that lined my long shelves. It was a split second of light and it was enough for me to grow annoyed. I needed to be alone; be alone in some where other than this office.

I turned my neck and looked out the window behind my large desk. I sighed as I watched the sharp drops of water hit the thick leaves of plants and collide with walls and streets. It was drenching everything in its way, covering it with a wet, clear cover of grief and sorrow. I truly wonder why it rains...

I scooted out of my chair and got up slowly, grabbing my keys and purse as I did so. I was free for the rest of the day, that was a fact. I had no other planned appointments and who would want to come to one in the middle of a storm (especially when there is no power)? I needed to get out of there, I needed to relax and clear my head.

Back at her house

I sat on my favorite lavender chair, feeling the warmth that was melting off my mug of hot chocolate along with the blazing heat of the fireplace. Numerous amounts of knick knacks, awards and photos surrounded me, trapping me in a net of old memories and flashbacks. Surprisingly, this did not faze me as I sat alone in my fairly large house, expecting such a habitat to send me deeper in thought. No, it did no such thing as I took another swig of the tasty brown liquid, letting the pleasant taste dance with my taste buds.

'What a day this has been', I thought as I lowered the mug from my lips, knowing that a thin liquid mustache was probably left behind to provide proof that I was, indeed, drinking hot coco. The lazy drift of the cozy fire and warm feeling of the mug was hypnotizing my now carefree body and soul. The whole layout of my open living room was intoxicating me, making me pass out in all its goodness.

Its strange how one can go from one mood to another. Life outside one's living quarters seems so busy and rushed, but when one steps inside their own humble abode, life takes a dramatic step into independence. You feel nothing other than the vibes off your own body, the feel of your own mood and passion. Its a welcoming place, home.

I sighed and let my torso ease up a little more, letting the feeling of pricey plush exterior grab onto me and start singing to my sore muscles, putting them into a pleasant rest. I deserve a break, thats no childish fib. Life has made a cruel turn on my behalf and I need to relax. My boss even said so himself. Before I left I made sure I could go, just to be on the safe side. My boss agreed and even went home himself, wanting to get away from the eerie atmosphere the storm had created.

The storm seemed to have drowned on its way reaching my ears, for I only heard the faint mumbles of thunder and only a small fraction of the noise created by the taps of rain. All I heard was the faint echoes of voices inside my head, talking to me but not expecting me to respond. Have you ever listened to the voices that live in you mind? They sound so excited, so thrilled that you would actually listen to their random babbles. Maybe I'm just crazy, or maybe this hot coco is making me sound psychotic - I'm too relaxed to care...

But, my relaxation did not last that long for that one hindering thought once again entered the stage. That one complex, never ending thought that has been bothering me for many days now. It was two weeks ago that I had supposedly saw that one person from my past, experienced his ghostly presence. Of course it was just all my brain, a mental image born to haunt me, but I just can't the event out of my mind.

What he "said" to me when me Jazz and I left, what did he mean? No, what was my mind trying to say to me, not him. He doesn't exist, he's not really here. Theres no way - remember, Sam? The concept is just so annoying, so pushy and it demands an answer. But how could I give it one when I don't even know what its talking about? Ugh, I hate this.

It has been bothering me non-stop, invading my space and taunting my every thought. Why does my mind spend so much thought on something that isn't real?

I growled with frustration and placed my mug of hot coco on the end table next to my chair with a tiny thud. I put my head in my hands, letting all the stress and anger leak out into my palms, which were warm from the temperature of my home. How is it that every time I try to relax, this disturbing concept comes back; each time more puzzling and startling than ever before? Shouldn't the fog that has formed grow thinner each time because I seal more questions? Shouldn't the confusion dissolve just like the rest of emotion that awoke in that moment? I should know why it won't go, I should be aware of why this all won't leave my doorstep. What is my brain trying to sell to me? What is it trying to accomplish?

I raised my head and stared into the fire, catching all its danger and beauty in one glimpse. The way it danced around with the grace of several butterflies enchanted me, how it was so carefree but also so dangerous to touch all at the same time. The mix of orange, red and yellow casted a hazy glow on the rest of the room, boasting of its catchy beauty but also bragging that it can't have it. In all the strangeness of the subject, it reminded me of a former student of Casper High.

Paulina Sanchez, beauty queen and shallow witch of the west. The girl that had every guy wagging their tongue, praying with all their stupid heart that she would wake up and notice they were there. Like that would ever happen.. Boys are so blind when it comes to people like that. They are too stupid to see that a girl like her would rather die then be with them. Ugh, how I hated that girl.

She was so shocked to see that her "love" was actually the nerd Danny Fenton. She couldn't believe it. She went into denial after she found out Danny was 'Inviso-Bill'. She said that Danny Phantom was still out there and that Danny Fenton couldn't possibly be him. Yep, thats Paulina for you. Well, I have no clue whats going on with her now. I stopped paying attention to her ever since the accident. I wonder what she does for a living... Well, anyways

Thunder then roared again, startling me the least. I looked out my window and noticed the storm was getting quite testy, pushing against the glass and growling like an angered hound. I answered its outrage by slowly standing up and closing the thick drapes, covering up the mess it was trying so desperately hard to create.

I trudged back over to my chair like an upset elephant, my feet heavy from building stress and frustration. The thought once again came back and I screamed at it with every single speck of hate I could manage. Why must this still haunt me? Why must this continue to gnaw at my ankles bare flesh? Why must those hard, sharp teeth of confusion and hate sink into my skin time after time? Its all so hindering - so insane but also appalling. Why won't it just leave me be?

Lightening flashed and I saw the remaining faint residue of light try to break through my violet drapes, fighting to get past its heavy layer of cloth. I sighed and stood up once again, grabbing my refreshment as I did so. I'm tired and need sleep, my eyes are filled with laziness bought on by the area around me.

- - - - -

I slipped on my night gown, feeling its silky exterior as it fit around my skin, covering my cleavage and body. I picked up a spare brush from my marble bathroom counter and bought the soft bristles to my midnight strands, combing out knots hat had sneakily formed throughout the day. Keeping the brush in one hand, I opened th cabinets, the cold of the handle chilling my heated hand. I searched for my facial wash and finally found it hiding behind several hair-care products.

I placed the brush down and began to wash my face. The feel of water as it hit my exposed skin was both cool and refreshing, the liquid washing away any left over rude emotion left over from the passing day. Such simple tasks bring such simple pleasures I discovered as the foamy liquid came in contact with my pours.

I finished my nightly tasks by brushing my teeth and then putting everything away, cleaning up the small mess I had created. I walked back into my bedroom and felt the warmth of the friendly atmosphere, the familiar flow of settled energy that circled the space day in and day out. But there was a certain chill to it tonight, a nippy cold that stood out from the rest of the other warm vibes.

I shivered and looked around, pondering on what could possibly cause such a chill to take place. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, nothing looked out of place. I put the thought aside and sat on my bed, sighing as I did so.

The cold then came again, this time sharper and more alive, growling in my sensitive ears. It spooked me, this misplaced drift. It reminded me of that event, that certain occurrence. A nervous sweat drop oozed out of my skin, turning cold and numb as it met the air. My hair clung to my face, holding on to whatever warm was left in my flesh. I swiped it away, annoyed and bothered by the strange feeling it caused.

I then stopped myself and scolded my mind with facts. Why am I over reacting? Its nothing peculiar, nothing to get worked up over. But the cold came again, freezing my minds reasonable statements. This caused my aware neck to turn and face the space around me, alerted that something or someone was there.

My wary eyes studied my bedroom, each piece of dark furniture was fine, nothing was out of place or abnormal in any way. In a split second, calmness returned to my panicked blood and the nervous fear faded away. In its place was the friendly truth, warming concepts that were telling me to rest. I couldn't agree more.

In a tired gesture, I slipped under the covers, letting the hearty heat suffocate all the cool vibes out of my bloodstream. The faint hum of rain and low mumbles of thunder echoed in my ears, making me feel all the more exhausted. I sighed a content exhale and snuggled my pillow, fully letting sleep take captive of my groggy muscles and mind.

But before I closed my eyes, I noticed two glowing ovals of green, eerie lime light surrounded by compassionate darkness. I payed no mind, already to tied and exposed to rest to take the site seriously. Its all just my mind trying to once again startle me, its all in my head.

I let sleep overcome me, a confident smirk on my lips. I will no longer suffer from this... If only I knew the truth at the time...

Darkness, It is all around me. No one is around, I'm alone.

A sound, A loud click. Footsteps – some ones coming!

Run, run away! Footsteps grow faster. Fear, it grows within me

A wall, it blocks my path. I'm trapped, the footsteps are growing closer

The footsteps stop, peace overcomes the empty. I turn around and face a person, a man

He is a mere shadow, a moving image of unknown and darkness

Whispers, I hear them... Hushed and quiet. Emotional breezes, moaning and weeping

Listen. I listen close

"Don't run, Sam" they say "Don't run"

W/C: Ummm, that last part was a dream, for those who didn't catch on. Guess who is talking to her in her sleep? I'll give ya a hint: DANNY! Wow, I was surprised on how many people got it right on how Danny got here. I will tell the answer in the next chapter, OK? But, everybody who tired still gets a cookie! BYE, DUDES

PS: REVIEW! I was so happy I got so many last time :) Thanks everyone