I HATE BEING SICK!!
Disclaimer: Glag-glag blurg shoobie-doobie. Yeeeeeeeeeeahh... Anyways, I don't own YGO.
D/N: GAH!! Sorry I took so long to update, everyone. I'm sick. I'm very... very... sick. :( Everyone feel sad for me and cry. CRY!! (Eriso: Too many pills for you.) EHEHEHEHHEHEHHEHE!! Pills make the sky turn BLUE!! (Eriso: ... Just don't respond and back away.) Anyways, I'M SICK!! Just thought you'd like to know, and I'm gonna be ranting about it for quite some time. That, and I DID POST THE NEW CHAPTER, but silly Fanfiction didn't post it on the website. BLAME THEM!!
Fanfiction: WHAT WAS THAT?????
I said you were the greatest people in all of mankind!
Fanfiction: Well, DUH!!
ME WRITE TO REVIEWERS AND NESS... yes... ness.... EHEHEHEHEHHEHEEHHEH!!!:
Silverdemon17: Oh, it's ok, you're forgiven and all is well again. Blah, besides, I've decided not to finish Diplomacy. DON'T HURT ME!! I know, I know, 'tis a sad day for us all... BUT THAT'S OK!! Oh, and the other animes I like would be... uhm... .hackSIGN, Sailor Moon (Eriso: XD AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!) ... Quite... and.. uhm... a bunch of other so can't remember right now because I'm sick. But I also like Legend of Dragoon and Starcraft... so that's good... and ness... can't forget the ness... Oh, and don't worry, I love long reviews!
HarUwHiTe2blAcK: GAH your penname is SO hard to write. O.o CURSE ME?? OH NO!! Hehe! Kidding! It's ok! We all want to yell at FanFiction for depriving us of my beautiful story... (Eriso: ... riiiiiiight... ) I'M SICK!! Just so you know. AND MY SHOULDER HURTS!! (Eriso: O.o LOL... how I hate the LOL-ness... oh you'll pay... I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!!) Someone's been eating my pills again... (Eriso: But they just taste so good! XD) -.-;;
...: XD What a creative penname! Aw, come on! You've got to give yourself more credit and make a penname, anonymous or not! I'm sorry if I sounded mean BUT BEING SICK does that to you sometimes. Oh, don't worry, all will be explained soon enough... oh yes... it will be. (Eriso: Less pills, Qk. Much less.) And who says he was talking about Joey? Hehehehe... I'm so clever and mysterious-like...
Hazel-Beka: BWUAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAAHHA!! I know, I'm so cruel with leading everyone to expect it to be someone else... you know, that sentence doesn't make sense right now... hmm... But anyways, like I said, all will be revealed!
Flame Swordswoman: I'm glad you liked it! It took me like... 3 hours to write! No, I'm joking... it wasn't anymore than 2. XD I'm so funny... (Eriso: GAH!! WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME SO?? WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS SAY SUCH CRUEL AND MEAN THINGS TO ME?? HUH?? HHUUUUUUUHH??????) ... lol. (Eriso: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!)
Himawari: XD Mr. Fred-Sir joining in! You know, I may just make him randomly pop in and out... that'd be fun... But alas, I will not be continuing Diplomacy. :'( EVERYONE CRY!! Because that was THE greatest story on the net. Well, the greatest in my category. Hmm... Razatul actually does seem a lot like Voldemort... Only difference is that Voldemort sounded smart. I mean, Razatul does too in the beginning of the chapter, and then he just gets... weird! :S Ah yes, Bakura is a good storyteller... But aren't all sadistic, homocide-bent freaks? (Eriso: paints a picture of the world being devoured by the sun. Isn't it beautiful?) Eriso... the a circle with two arrows coming out of it... Which looks SO wrong, BTW. (Eriso: U.U Sorry. Oh, and by the way, JINKJINKJINKJINKJINKJINKJINKIES!!! OH!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING SO MEAN AND JOINING THE LOL CLUB!!) ... Jink. Hmm. ANYWAYS...
OOOOOOOO
MY HEAD HURTS!!
And I'm sorry Razatul talks so old fashioned, but hey! Once you gain an accent, it's nearly impossible to lose it! And I base that on absolutely nothing!
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Joey took a step back, completely stunned. "But... I thought... you..." He shifted his gaze from Razatul to KaibaII, then back to Razatul once more.
Razatul just chuckled to himself and shook his head. "I know what you're thinking. You thought I was this little mongrel." He looked at KaibaII. "That's what I wanted you to think. This dog was my scapegoat. He kept you distracted while I got close to the Priest."
At this, Joey instinctively glanced down at Kaiba's rodent form. He wasn't moving, and Joey really didn't want to check if he was breathing. He'd lose his lunch if Kaiba was what he thought he was, archenemy or not.
Bakura looked at Razatul and said to him, "Your powers have increased, have they not?" Razatul simply smirked at him and nodded. "If that's the case, why do you need to draw life from others? Why can you not make yourself immortal?"
"Ah... I see... So it's answer you want." Razatul smiled thoughtfully to himself. "Well, I suppose I can at least answer your questions before you die. Besides, I enjoy telling a good story every now and then. I so rarely get a chance to do so, lately. Well, I suppose you may as well make yourself comfortable, since we'll be here for a while."
Razatul's eyes began to glow a fierce red, as a cloud of darkness surrounded the small group. Joey felt something slither over his wrists and ankles, binding him, and pulling him down onto what appeared to be a rock in the shape of a chair. When his eyes finally adjusted to what little light there was he saw that they were definitely out of Domino City.
The landscape was like a barren wasteland that was bathed in blood-red light. A scant number of leafless and dead trees dotted the sooty ground, as a jagged mountain or two disrupted the completely flat area.
"Where are we?" Joey asked.
"Is this the Shadow Realm?" Yami wondered.
"Obviously not, you fool! The Shadow Realm would have shadows!" Bakura snapped. Both he and Yami were also tied down to rock-chairs.
"I couldn't have put it better myself." Razatul grinned, standing before them. "As you can see, this is nothing like the Shadow Realm. This is my realm. I created it, and based it upon the pain inside my heart."
"That's kinda pathetic..." Joey muttered. No sooner had he said this than a cold, steel blade was brought to his throat.
"You." Razatul lowered his voice. "I would tread lightly, for you are walking on, as you mortals say, thin ice. You are the reason all of this has occurred. I would be careful what I said if I were you. I will have nothing on my conscience if I drag this knife across your throat." Razatul removed the knife that was there, and stepped away. Joey let out a quick breath of relief.
"What will happen to Seto Kaiba?" Yami demanded to know.
Razatul rolled his eyes. "Pharaoh, for one who was so revered for his great intelligence back in Ancient Egypt, it seems almost insulting now that you can't figure this out." Razatul snorted in amusement at Yami. "There's only so many things that could happen once life is stripped of you."
There was a deep silence that followed this remark, until Razatul began laughing. "You fools! You're all so easy to trick! Fear not, worthless scum. The High Priest's great knowledge in Shadow Magic made him think to put a spell on himself back in Ancient Egypt. No one and nothing can take his life prematurely. He will always begin to heal."
That took a load off Joey's conscience. "So he's alive then?" he asked, hopefully.
Razatul smirked. "Did I say that? Yes, I suppose I did." Razatul nodded. "However, I was able to find a little loophole. I simply took all of his life except one drop. If he loses that because he is too weak to sustain himself, then that will be considered death of natural causes. So, in a way, yes, he has died."
"As much as I hate the High Priest," Bakura butt in, "I think I despise you even more. So know this, Razatul. I'll simply have to revive him, get him to take me here, and then dispose of you myself." Bakura's Millennium Ring flashed, as a wave of darkness, even darker than Razatul's little cloud, engulfed him and then receded, leaving only the echo of his last, taunting words: "Ta-ta!"
Razatul's eyes flashed with immense anger, but suddenly left. Instead, he began to laugh once more. "The fool!" He said. "So he has a way to escape my realm, has he? By returning to the Shadow Realm and then going back to your realm is a very clever idea, and I must say, I am quite impressed by that one. Unfortunately, there is a grave flaw in his plan." He grinned wickedly at both Joey and Yami. "He left you two here. He should've taken you along, but no! He thought he could return using the High Priest's magic! How unfortunate that he should be the wielder of such immense power, and yet the knowledge to unlock that power lies dormant in the recesses of his mind!"
"I shouldn't wonder if Bakura realized that and left anyway..." Yami muttered under his breath.
Joey, despite his fear of getting another knife to his throat, managed to build up his courage and ask, "I thought you were my dog, but you weren't. What-"
"Ah, yes! What previous form had I obtained?" Razatul interrupted, and began pacing back and forth, still holding the knife in his hands. "Well, if it's answers you want, it's answer you shall receive." His hands began to have a red aura glowing quite visibly around them, as he summoned up a throne made of rock for him to sit upon. (When you write Razatul's accent, it's kinda hard to avoid words like 'upon.' You just get in the mood to write old-fashioned!)
Getting comfortable, he said, "It's quite simple, really. Before, I was always in my human form. However, one day, I got into a bit of turmoil with a man whose name really doesn't matter. The details as well do not pertain to my answer, just know that he was the reincarnation of a Magical Elite who had also placed a few anti-magic spells on him, so he would always be safe in his other lives. Clever bastard. So most of my spells had no effect on him. He was in an angered state, so I did the only thing I could do. I ran. Eventually, however, I realized that I had nowhere else to run, and so I had to resort to other methods..."
"You turned yourself into an animal." Yami finished for him.
Razatul nodded. "Good boy, pharaoh! I see a 5000 year sleeps hasn't dulled your keen mind!" Razatul chuckled to himself for a moment, in a way that brought back Joey's memories of Bakura saying he wasn't completely right in the head. "And so I did. A very wise move, as I quickly lost the man who was after me. However, I foolishly forgot how much energy I needed to perform such an enchantment, and, therefore, I needed to get some life-nourishment."
"But that still doesn't explain what animal you-" Joey tried to say.
"Shut-up, boy! I'm getting to that!" Razatul snapped, in a voice completely opposite to the calm and collected tone he was using just seconds ago. And almost just as suddenly, he switched back to that smooth voice. "Now, in order to do so, I had to pick my target carefully. I needed someone who had their guard down, and someone who wouldn't be expecting an attack from an animal."
"Kaiba." Joey said.
"Well, actually, I was talking about you, you lesser-minded fool. You were wide open!" Razatul smirked. "However, you were out of the room at the moment, so I had to settle for the High Priest. At first, I tried to perform the life-extracting spell immediately, but I failed to do so. It finally came to me that I had to force the High Priest into the same situation I was in."
"Which was?" Joey finally asked, since Razatul had paused.
"A rat, Joey." Yami rolled his eyes. "Razatul was a rat as well."
"Oh." Joey shrugged. "Well... how come if you were the one attackin' Kaiba all the time, KaibaII was always there? Huh? Explain that one!"
"Heh. Boy, it seems as though you want this to pinned onto that little mongrel." Razatul said, then looked thoughtful. "Hmm... It seems as though that's a little too harsh of words for one who protected me as a scapegoat. But anyway, back to my rebuttal. Ah, child, you seem to think that my powers had left me since I became a rodent."
"Well, didn't they?" Joey asked.
"Idiot boy. Of course my powers were still with me!" Razatul shook his head with disgust and frustration. "How else would I have changed the Priest into a rat if my powers had left me? Think, boy!"
"I have a name you know!" Joey snapped.
Razatul smiled a smile that seemed to reflect the insanity that was himself. "And one that I fully intend to avoid using, boy. Now, if I may continue... ?" Joey merely growled in response, as Yami remained silent, watchful. "Good. Now, as I said before, my powers were not gone, and were indeed very useful at the time. I managed to, at the last second, transport the dog to the scene of the crime every time you appeared. I also kept myself concealed from view, so the Priest could inform you that it was your dog when the time came if I failed and needed someone to pin the blame on."
"But... how did..." Joey thought for a moment about how to word his question. "If it was you the whole time, and you attacked Kaiba when he was in a cage-"
"Kaiba was in a cage?" Yami blinked.
Joey grinned mischievously. "Yeah. He wouldn't co-operate though, so I sorta threw him in-"
"Your question please!" Razatul snapped, impatiently. "I'm doing you a favour by not killing you and leaving you in suspense. Ra knows I hate when that happens. It just starts getting good and then suddenly it's over, leaving you with great suspense of what happened after."
OOOOOO
THE END!! No, I'm kidding! XD Sorry, I just wanted to do that REAL bad.
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"Uhm... ok. So, if it was you, and Kaiba threw the strawberry at you... then how did that strawberry get on KaibaII's nose?"
Razatul rolled his eyes. "The High Priest may have placed powerful anti-magic spells on himself, but he failed to do any that would protect his mind. I easily infiltrated it and made him think that happened. The weak fool couldn't even lift it, no matter how many pieces it was in. All I had to do was fiddle with his memory, grab a chunk of the fruit, and then squish it on the dog's nose. Quite simple, really. But then, aren't the greatest things in history done by the simplest things?"
"But... when he came in and I said that it must've been him and then he started barking..." Joey was completely confused.
"Ah, that's something different altogether, boy." Razatul chuckled to himself. "You see, your dog simply did not like me. So, all I had to do was make an appearance. Then your dog began to bark, as if defending itself from any harm you may do to it." Razatul stood up. "Ah, that was a nice little chat. Is everyone satisfied?"
"Why? What's gonna happen if we are?" Joey asked curiously.
Razatul's yes widened with delight, his eerie smile spreading from ear to ear. "Well then, boy, we'll have to move to phase two of my master plan."
"Which is?" Joey persisted.
"Ah! We're going to play a little game!" Razatul giggled, almost exactly as a cartoon villain would. "The winner gets the chance to leave and do whatever he pleases! And the loser? Well, there's only so many things that a loser in a game of survival can do when he's defeated..."
Joey blinked. The words were completely lost on him, but the meaning was clear. "Erm... well, in that case, I've got a few more questions..."
"Ah, questions, questions. What time consumers!" Razatul shook his head. He giggled again. "What's the matter, pharaoh? Rat got your tongue? Hehehehehe! Rat... I've gotten clever over these years!"
"You've become insane." Yami retorted.
Razatul waggled a finger. "Become? Become? I always was insane! Everyone is insane on one level or another! Actually, I think you're just as insane as me, only you hide it better!"
Yami looked as if he were about to say something, but clamped his mouth shut.
"Aww... The pharaoh can't think of anything witty to say back... Well, that's expected." Razatul shrugged, continuing to pace around. "A 5000 year sleep is bound to leave you groggy and craving for more. But don't worry. Soon you'll have all the sleep you'll ever want! Maybe even more than you bargained for!"
Joey struggled very hard to not let out a whimper as Razatul's knife grew into a very long sabre.
"Who wants to carve the turkey? I DO!!" Razatul cackled.
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D/N: Razatul's a freak, isn't he? He seemed somewhat... intact at the beginning of the story, and then he just got completely creepy and -ness... Yes, well, just be glad that he isn't real. (Eriso: Or IS he? DUHN DUHN DUUUUUUUUUHN!!!) Hm. You need to shut up now. (Eriso: OKIES!!) AHA!! NOW WHO'S SAYING OKIES?? Oh my gravyness, I was reading Love Hina the manga, and Kaolla's like 'OKIES' when they're describing the self-grading process of some test thing... Yes. I just thought you'd like to know, for those of you who've read the manga. Mm-hmm... READ THE FANTASTIC FREAKS!!!