It was nearing dusk, but the streets of downtown El Paso were pretty busy. As they walked in the warm night air, Tommy told Arlene some more about opening his store, since she seemed interested in that. He also told her that he played guitar, but he wasn't as good as used to be. He liked Bob Dylan, Howlin' Wolf and Muddy Waters. He wasn't a big modern music fan, but stocked some of it in his store for the high school kids who were vinyl collectors.
They strolled along slowly, taking their time; Tommy with his hands casually in the pockets of his jeans. He constantly kept flashing kindly smiles at Arlene, who was quite tall for a woman. He really liked that. Being so tall, he found that sometimes women found him a little too tall for their tastes, but with her he had nothing to worry about.
It didn't take long for them to reach their destination. The block was fenced off and there were a good amount of people lingering around, laughing, and having a good time. Somebody had set up a barbeque...kids were running around. There was a stage further down that was being set up for the first band. The two of them had only been there about a minute before Tommy was soon spotted by people who knew him. It was obvious people really liked him and that he had a lot of friends. He introduced Arlene to a couple of his friends, a socialite by nature. Eventually, he had his hand on her shoulder.
Beatrix was so fucking happy she was beaming. She hadn't had this much fun since Paris. Wait, that was dawning on the past and she flipped back. Standing beside Tommy and being introduced to the locals felt completely natural. She had on a wide, pearly white exposed smile; one of those rare smiles that was anything but fake. She was polite and inviting to everyone she met. There was casual conversation and Beatrix had to retell a lot of her earlier lies to Tommy and soon it became second nature. She was moving into her alternate life. A life that didn't consist of jetting around the world, killing human beings, and being paid vast sums of money……and it was going to work. She was going to make it fucking work if it killed her.
The conversation between the locals was dying down as everyone began to fan out to enjoy the music. The bands weren't all that bad and on occasion Beatrix felt herself swaying idly to a tune or two. Tommy had noticed and swayed along with her. This made the tall blonde laugh.
As the night drew to a close and the bands began playing the last round of songs; Beatrix had consciously leaned into Tommy as they stood amongst the crowd. It was odd being able to lean her head against a chest and not a shoulder. Tommy was tall and she liked that. She always found it an annoyance when she was taller than everyone else. Well, she wasn't taller than…. …. Tranquilly half lidded blue eyes peered up and over to the man beside her. Her lips parted as if to speak, but instead she looked away to the band.
Tommy was all smiles and hugs to those around him and he couldn't be happier that Arlene had taken so well to his numerous introductions. Some people could get overwhelmed by Tommy's very social lifestyle...but she seemed to handle it just fine. Even better, she liked music! This was a major bonus in his book.
While Tommy was very social and loved people, he wasn't quite as adept at reading feminine signals as say...other men Beatrix had been with. So when Arlene settled her head against his chest and peered up at him, he simply smiled back; a very sweet smile, but one devoid of any sort of major understanding in her body language. "This band is so good," he murmured to her, eyes back on the stage. He did eventually wrap a big arm around her shoulders though. He had to admit, he was a little shocked at how quickly Arlene had taken to him, but...on the other hand he wasn't complaining. She was an amazing woman and he counted himself lucky to have met her and to be able to spend the evening with her.
Sometime later, as the last band was packing up, they made their way down the slightly more deserted block. Tommy had gone back to putting his hands in his pockets. They strolled on for awhile, talking casually between themselves.
"God...I should probably walk you home Arlene...," Tommy suggested finally, "...but...I just realized, I have no clue where you live. Did you drive to my store or walk?" El Paso was small, but it wasn't that small...he just hoped she didn't' live across town. "Damn broken down car," he gave her a lopsided smile.
Beatrix gave off a little giggle at his words. She found Tommy's attitude not quite adorable and not exactly cute but somewhere in between. It was obvious he hadn't been around many women before as she had given off more signals than a goddamn dog in heat. She had to remind herself that this was the real deal. This was the nice guy she wanted and the nice guy wasn't always the smart guy. So, she had to play her cards right in order to acquire that full house.
"I live two blocks down on Cimarron road in that new apartment complex." Seeing that Tommy knew what she was talking about they continued down the vacant street. During their walk to the apartment they spoke on the bands that just played. Who they thought were good, their favorite songs, and Beatrix was given some gossip on some of the people she had encountered during the night.
The apartment complex was on Cimarron Road as stated. The block was a complete row of apartment complexes that were put up within the past year. They were all one level, similar to a town house but not quite. They were packed close together but not so that it was over crowded and the various Texan style decorations gave the block a warm aura. Beatrix dug her keys out of her pocket as they ascended the set of stairs up to the white painted door.
The tall blonde in a very docile manner clicked the key in the lock and pushed the door ajar but she didn't step inside. Instead she turned to the tall man before and looked up at him with bright blue eyes. She licked her lips attentively. "I had a lot of fun tonight."
"Me too...shit...I had so much fun," Tommy replied with a nod, a warm gaze fixed on the woman across from him. Tommy was not the type to lie, and even if he had, it would have been far too easy for Beatrix to tell...but he sure as hell wasn't. "Honestly, Arlene...I haven't had this much with a woman…..in a long, long time, hell probably never. You're a real sweet woman," he said, his smile widening, "...and…..I think you're very special. I know we just met...but there's just something about you..." He rubbed the back of his neck, "Heh...well...I should probably go…..but seriously," he fixed her with a look that was about as intense as his looks came, "...I would love to go out with you again...soon. Like tomorrow," he chuckled, aware of his own overzealousness. "But...," he looked momentarily serious, "Only if you want to of course."
Now she had to lay it on thick and quick if she wanted to be successful. Keep in mind Beatrix was no slut and never did she act like one unless it was on assignment. This wasn't an assignment but…she was acting. Blue eyes came half lidded and her smile took on a twist that suggested the classic and all out deadly appeal of sexuality. "I'd love to," she cooed gently as a hand idly began traveling along Tommy's muscular arm.
A stack of emotional turmoil washed over the tall blonde in a manner of seconds. Beatrix Kiddo, the woman behind the mask was the one in turmoil not Arlene. Beatrix was already loyal to someone and she was carrying that someone's baby. She didn't feel that what she was going to do was wrong, because in her mind this was in the best interest of her unborn child. It was all for her baby and she couldn't let herself think about the father. She couldn't think about…Bill. Bill…her corruptor, teacher, superior, the father of her child, and the man she loved. As much as she'd deny it in later years she always would, deep down but for now she wasn't Beatrix Kiddo, Bill's gal, she was Arlene Machiavelli and she didn't belong to anyone, yet.
Attentively she let her hand come to the back of Tommy's head and she gingerly brought his face to hers. Blue eyes closed and she placed her lips to his in a sensual but well mannered kiss. It didn't last long as she let out a short breath and pulled away. Arms quickly crossed over her chest and her demeanor completely switched. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have done that…"
"Oh no...that's ok...," Tommy replied, eyes a little wide. Again, he hadn't been expecting that, but he certainly welcomed it. He'd kissed a lot of women on the first date...but, hell...had they even been on a date to begin with?
No matter...she'd just kissed him, and it had been really, really nice. Tommy perhaps wasn't entirely clever, but he wasn't stupid either...and most of all, he was still a man. He was starting to pick up on Beatrix's signals now...somewhat after the fact.
"Hey," he took a step closer, "It's alright...seriously..." his voice was hushed, large hands clasping onto her upper arms in a gentle gesture, "...I liked it...don't feel bad." He wanted her to do that again, but...he wasn't the most assured guy when it came to that sort of thing and wasn't the type to demand either. "Look," he smiled, "...to make you feel better, I'll do it this time." Tommy was 'nice' all around after all. He bent down and kissed her, a little tentatively, hands still safely on her upper arms.
Oh God, he was so goddamn nice Beatrix felt like a giddy school girl, well a giddy and sexually aroused school girl. In the back of her mind she was still having difficulty believing she was meeting her nice guy and he wasn't going to try and kill her. He was just plain and simple. This time when he kissed her she pushed in adding more appeal and untouched affection to it. She kept away from coming off as lusty because that indicated a one-night-stand and the last thing she wanted was to turn Tommy off like that.
She broke the kiss with slight hesitance and her face lingered inches from his. Her breathing came off exaggerated, but not so much that it wasn't appealing. She pursed her lips and turned her eyes down cast. "That was nice," she commented in a hushed tone. Her eyes slowly came back up to him and her face glowed with a child-like innocence. "Really nice."
If Tommy had been just a tad more perceptive of female indicators, he could easily have seen that this woman wanted to fuck...to point it bluntly. But, he did know enough to see that she really, really did like him. And he did know the signs of a woman who was done and ready to end the night. But, she hadn't done any of those things...instead, she continued to stand there, gazing up at him with those beautiful large blue eyes and he was as susceptible to those womanly charms as the next man.
Tommy smiled, although this smile held a bit more hint of intention than any of those before. "Thank you," he replied...because that was the only thing he could think to say at the moment. He stared down at her for a few seconds. He certainly wanted to kiss her again, but...he wasn't so sure...this was all happening so fast. Tommy was something of an old fashioned guy. His hands squeezed her upper arms affectionately, "Ya know...Arlene...I really like you...and...," he smiled, "...I really like what just happened...but…..is this all a little too fast for you...or...," he paused, "...are you ok with it?"
Tommy's all out nice disposition was coming off as a major turn on for Beatrix; if that wasn't established already. Her chin tilted down to her chest but blue eyes stayed locked up to his own. "Oh, I'm fine," she replied keeping that softened tone of voice. And she was fine, more than fine. She wasn't a hundred percent sure if Tommy was fine with it. He seemed hesitant and unsure but she knew he'd push all of that aside like any man and follow along if she pushed enough.
Silence dominated the heated air around them, but silence didn't mean that actions had to be silent. The tall blonde moved her arms up, looped around his neck, and she gingerly brought him back down for another round. She wasn't forcing him. She could tell that Tommy was old fashioned and she was old fashioned too, or at least she usually was. Hell, it took her five fucking years to get to this point with Bill and she was getting to this point with Tommy in five minutes.
This kiss was much more passionate than the other ones. She took a step closer as the kiss lingered.
Tommy was quickly getting the full picture. Knowing now that Arlene was OK with all of this...and that she had just initiated a full out passionate kiss, he was more than willing to reply back. He felt a little weird making out with a woman he'd known for only a few hours. But, there was something about her that was very special. Sure...OK...so she appeared to really need some action, but...he didn't think of her as slutty...she just didn't seem the type.
Finally feeling free to move a little more, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He was a big guy, and this gesture nearly enveloped her lean form. This time, when she broke the kiss he moved in for another right away. And holy shit...she was one hell of a kisser...he'd never kissed a woman who could kiss like this. This made him think of what other things she was equally as good at, and...as was the tendency, Tommy was just much a man as any. Of course, he still retained that aura of old fashioned gentlemanly behavior, but his tentative beginnings to the whole episode were melting away.
Every man was a little different in their 'style' and Tommy's style seemed very protective and warm. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. He hadn't tried to touch her hair, or caress her face, or kiss her neck...he was more of a hugging kind of guy and at the moment he seemed a little overwhelmed just kissing her.
If a woman offers herself willingly to any man, than that man would be a jackass not to take advantage of it. Beatrix hated coming off as needy but if she was going to act needy she was being needy for affectionate attention. Tommy was giving her tender kisses that she'd never received before. It was a completely different atmosphere and she couldn't help but feel overwhelmed. The mere fact she had to tilt her head up in order to kiss him was daunting enough.
But whatever conniving plan Beatrix had in her mind was starting to dissipate. She was melting into Tommy as were her original intentions. Perhaps the fact that their intensifying and still gentle kisses were leading through the apartment door and into the apartment was telling the tall blonde she wasn't just acting anymore. Tommy was a nice guy and from what she was getting he was a damn good kisser.
She idly kicked the front door closed as they stepped inside, still wrapped up in his arms, she felt a sensation of being overpowered. Tommy was a big guy, taller than herself and as much as Beatrix wasn't acting anymore, she had to act a little. She was a dominant person and liked having complete control of any situation. Tommy only looked empowering; under all that muscle and lean body he was a cuddly bear. So, it was time to rustle the bear up from hibernation. Thus being the reason her top was now on the floor and long white fingers were weaving through his hair.
Tommy's plans for the evening were once again changing. First, it had been to have a nice evening with Arlene, then...it had been to make out with her a bit…..that was nice, and now...well...she most definitely wanted to get him into bed.
He thought about it...for about two seconds...and happily complied.
She was beautiful, she was nice...he liked her...she was one damn good kisser...he watched as she removed her shirt...she had a great body...so why the hell shouldn't he?
There was also a strange power to her...and not just in a female sort of way, but a physical power. He was often afraid he'd hurt women, but with her...he didn't feel that at all, in fact...he had the strange sensation that she could probably hurt him if she chose to. Yet, she was gentle...like himself...and that was the best part. And indeed, while Tommy looked very masculine and dominating in stature, he was far, far from it. He had the body of full male machismo and very little of the attitude.
He pulled away from her, and shrugged off his flannel shirt and then pulled off his t-shirt. Needless to say, he was no disappointment to female eyes and he possessed that sort of broad shouldered, broad chested look that many women loved.
He wasn't exactly sure how they'd gotten inside...but they had, and Arlene was most definitely heading for the bedroom at the end of the small hallway. He continued to hold onto her tightly. Kissing her, as they slowly made their way that direction. When they reached the bedroom, he stopped down to quickly rid himself of his shoes, and standing back up to kiss her, he touched her face for the first time...it was a very sweet and gentle gesture.
Beatrix tilted her face into his touch. She was always a sucker when it came to tender face caressing and Tommy's caresses were very nice. Seeing Tommy half naked was exhilarating in a sense. With blue hues half lidded she let her hands run down to trace over his chest area. Some habits never died.
One thing Beatrix swore she wasn't going to do, and she made this effective the second she was kissing Tommy extremely close to the side of that queen sized bed with a brand new comforter, was she wasn't going to compare. This was Tommy, not Bill and through years of experience and tactful training she was able to lock it all away. As she had been known to do in previous experiences she put thoughts, memories, scars, and anything else that could hinder her in the back of her mind and locked the door…but the entrance was always there.
All of that put into motion she upped the passion on her kisses, pushing her body closer to his, and letting her hands wander aimlessly.
Tommy was on full automatic pilot now. He hadn't been with a woman for a few months, and while this was certainly unexpected, he couldn't have been happier with this turn of events. Arlene was so beautiful...and...so knew what she was doing...that he could have only dreamed to have a woman like her.
He wasn't entirely aware of everything that he was doing, but he wasn't worried...that's what usually happened anyways. Eventually, he sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling her down with him. He performed the 'cheating maneuver' for removing her bra, this involved pulling down the straps to loosen it and eventually fumbling the rest of it off.
He touched her hair, and found it unbelievably soft...like a golden silk. He realized what he'd been missing out on...he should have touched it earlier.
Arlene was defiantly a kissing kind of woman...some women didn't like that so much, but she certainly was...so he tried his best to keep that going.
Beatrix decided before things started getting intense to effectively remove her jeans. She was going to lay off the tight attire from now on; not just because she was most likely wasn't going to be able too pull it off, but she wasn't killing anyone anymore. It had become habit and she had to start breaking some of those habits she had grown to love and hate over the years. Her jeans removed and all of this done without breaking a kiss she allowed Tommy to ease her comfortably into the middle of the bed.
The soft cotton of the comforter that was a dull blue in color conformed to the back of her body. Blue eyes stared up at the man on top of her in an all out inviting and seductive manner; which she pulled off perfectly.
And Tommy was a complete sucker for that look, like most men would be.
He slipped off his own pair of jeans, taking a moment to kick his socks off. He kept a serious but sweet expression throughout all of this. He had a pair of black cotton boxer briefs on underneath his jeans, and after a quick glance at Arlene, decided to just go ahead and remove those as well. He crawled back over her, kissing her again. He had a very quick thought of maybe saying something about being safe about this whole thing...but, that thought vaporized when Arlene removed her remaining underclothing and he became far too distracted to care.
He flashed her a little smile, that was rather shy and perhaps even a little nervous in nature as he looked down at her...his hands resting on either side of her head. The look in her eyes was blatantly obvious.
As stated, Tommy was a gentle guy...and he always tried to make sex as gentle as possible. He wasn't fully confident in himself...he had to be honest about that, but he was confident that he could remain gentle throughout everything. So, when he finally got down to doing the deed, he tried to do just that.
Sex with Tommy was nice. It wasn't intense, wild, or erotic, but it was sweet, gentle, loving, and affectionate. That kind of sex you expected to have with candles and music and a floor of rose petals. Beatrix had enjoyed it and it was defiantly an experience to put on record. She was lying in bed beside a man she had only known for less than twenty-four hours and yet she felt as if she knew him much longer.
Tommy was sleeping peacefully beside the tall blonde. The bedroom was pitch black except for a spill of light from the outside. The soft white glow etched over Beatrix's sheet covered form, which was worn and all out exhausted from the events of the day. It would have been smart to sleep, but instead she was awake. She was lying on her side, back turned away from Tommy, and her hands were tucked against her chest.
Blue eyes were void with a glossy tint as they stared steadily at nothing. She wasn't sure if she could blame it on hormones or the real reason she was swept over with a feeling of complete sorrow. Her assignment had gone down better than first anticipated and she was happy……but she felt lonely. There was a handsome, wholesome, nice man sleeping beside her and she had a hole in her heart…..and in her stomach.
A hand idly traced down, palm open, settled against the small barely noticeable rise in her stomach. She couldn't ignore the fact that she was still very much pregnant and now that she had sex with another man she could pull it off. She could get away with it all too easily and she was going too….but….she couldn't ignore who the baby's real father was; Bill. And Beatrix was thinking about Bill. She may have left him for reasons he would have found completely and utterly irrational but in her mind they made perfect sense. She made sure it made sense before she decided to never come back. Her choice was in the best interest of 'their' child. And the best interest was leaving Bill, but that didn't mean she couldn't still miss Bill.
She missed everything about him. As much as she didn't want to compare, she had compared Tommy and Bill….and how they were two completely different people. Everything that Tommy was Bill wasn't, and she wasn't sure if she loathed or loved that. Beatrix didn't want her new life to conflict with her old one. She thought it was going to be easier adjusting, but it wasn't. She felt like emotional shit. Her hand came up from her stomach and she used the side of her hand to brush away a rather stray and uncalled for tear from her cheek.
She rolled back over to face Tommy. This was her new life and she was going to make it work. It was her clean slate and she was going to keep it clean.
It was often said that you looked as shitty as you felt, and in Bill's case...this was most likely true. Although, in Bill's mind...if he indeed look as shitty as he felt, he would appear to be nothing more than a crumbled pile of waste...and he wasn't quite there...yet.
He sat across from O-Ren, slouched in his normal type of male posture...but there was a sense of defeat to it now. He looked edgy; hair not quite combed, his normally neatly trimmed sideburns having turned into the starting of a beard that most prominently stuck out on his chin and upper lip in a mish mash of grey and dark brown stubble. The bags under his eyes spoke volumes, but there was also a frightening unstable look in his dark eyes that spoke far more volumes than even the bags underneath them. He was wearing the same shirt he'd worn yesterday; which was something of a first in the history of Bill His watch was on upside down. He was barefoot, which at least was pretty normal for him. He was clutching to a ceramic tea cup; inside a concoction Nikishi had made a whole batch of earlier that morning.
After he and Budd had returned from the bar the night before, Bill had indeed fulfilled his desire to get stoned out of his mind. He smoked five bowls...all by himself; which is rather amazingly ridiculous. But, having just drunk a whole batch of hard liquor, the combination of the two only managed to make him sicker than a dog. Bill of course, knew very well the rather unsavory consequences of mixing hard alcohol and weed...and maybe he'd done it on purpose. No, he'd most certainly done it on purpose, because three bowls in he started drinking more hard liquor.
Thus, he didn't sleep much the entire night...he was too fucked up and sick the entire time. Eventually, he fell into a short fitful black out state...which, for some reason, turned into some weird dream/hallucination. At first he'd been in the desert; this wasn't too surprising, seeing as Bill had been having desert dreams most of his life…..but then there had been something about Beatrix...he should have expected that too. They had made love...it had of course been hotter than hell...but then the whole thing turned grisly and he kept having flashes of her dying by different methods...shot, stabbed, hacked up, burnt and so on. Bill had seen all of these things in real life numerous, numerous times...so he didn't have to imagine what it would look like. Then it had all melted into a deserted expanse of brown fields, a brown sky and cinematic rolling tumbleweed. The landscape went on for infinity...and he had stood there in the middle of it all with a pistol in his hand, overwhelmed by a sense of complete emptiness. Not that kind of causal sense of emptiness either, but one that went beyond anything he could comprehend.
He woke up after that on one of the back patio chairs, drenched in a cold sweat, his head hanging off the side of the chair. He wasn't sure if he'd started out on the back patio or not…..he couldn't remember. The sun was just starting to rise. He couldn't sleep after that...mostly because he ended up getting sicker, and likewise he had no desire to return to whatever mental delusion he'd just come out of. He'd had some crazy hallucinations throughout his life, but the emotional weight attached to the one he'd just had was too much to relive.
Eventually, with everything out of his system, he'd trudged into the kitchen and tried to make some tea. At that point, Nikishi had shown up to work and had strolled into the kitchen. She had stood there staring at him, as he stared back at her. There had been a few moments of potent non-verbal communication between them. Then speaking softly in Japanese, Nikishi began making tea as he watched her in a pitiful almost childish fashion.
Now, a few hours later, fully sober, hung over and still without Beatrix...except the one he'd seen in his mind, Bill sat unmoving, his edgy gaze on O-Ren...or well..more like looking past O-Ren.
"So...that's pretty much the gist of the assignment," he finished up; voice croaking after all the abuse his throat had taken throughout the previous evening/night. He uncharacteristically fumbled with the manila envelope and slowly started pushing the paperwork back in. "I expect you can wrap this one up within a day or two..." he continued, somewhat mechanically, "...then…..get back to me when you're finished...as is typical."
O-Ren was known for being the soft spoken but highly lethal squad member and she always would be. Even sitting there watching as her boss tried to explain an assignment she remained completely placid. Only the creases on her freckled features indicated her concern. She had known Bill for at least ten years, maybe more, and she had never seen him like this. Seeing Bill in such a state could make the Devil himself grimace in emotional distress.
She wouldn't deny she was…pleased to know Beatrix was most likely dead. And she wasn't that surprised it was on assignment. This only proved that her 'judgments' upon the silly Caucasian girl were indeed correct.
But as happy as O-Ren was, she could see that Bill wasn't happy. He really had cared about the bitch and as much as O-Ren had found it unfathomable, it had been true and seeing him like this only emphasized how much he cared. Well, she certainly didn't give a fuck about Beatrix but she gave a fuck about Bill.
The half breed gingerly took the manila folder from Bill's unsteady hands and pushed it away. Her soft brown eyes locked on his harder set. He clearly wasn't all there. "Bill, look at me," her words came off serious and in Japanese no less. She wanted his full attention. Once received, or partially so, she continued, "Go lie down and sleep off whatever shit you fucked yourself up on." She wanted to tell him to look at himself and what all of his self pity had lowered him to but she wasn't going to. Bill was in a fragile state and if he wanted a sensible shoulder she'd listen, but for now she only commanded.
Bill looked back at O-Ren with as steady a glare as he could manage at the moment. Which wasn't really all that steady and seemed far more disheveled and scattered than one would think him capable of. He seemed to be having a constant inner conversation and turmoil with himself, which was taking up most of his attentions...but he wasn't disillusioned...not anymore, and he attempted to give O-Ren as much attention as he could spare at the moment.
There were times when O-Ren seemed to take on that somewhat 'strong daughter' persona with him, and at that moment he certainly felt that; as if he was the weak and silly old man she needed to talk sense into. And he knew she was probably right...but that didn't mean he was going to act like she was.
"I'm fine...," he said after a moment, respecting her Japanese dialect with a likewise reply. "I'll lay down when I damn feel like it...and right now...I don't fucking feel like it." Actually, he felt like he was going to be sick again ...but he wasn't about to admit that; instead, he took another long distracted sip of tea.
He glanced back at O-Ren with that shifty unfocused look; taking note of her expression. He knew O-Ren very well...and even now he could easily read her. "I don't want your concern O-Ren...," he croaked, normally smooth voice still sounding like shit, "...in the end...you didn't give a shit about Beatrix…..most importantly...you didn't give a shit about Beatrix and I, so don't waste my time with your well practiced pity. That's not who you are, so skip it. Likewise, I don't need your well mannered pep talks or stern disciplinarian ideals...or...whatever the fuck..." he waved a hand. Brutally typical in a Bill fashion...but he wasn't lying either. He didn't want to hear anything from anybody...even if deep down he really did. And deep down, he respected O-Ren…..immensely, and if anybody was going to be sensible it was her...but he couldn't deal with it, not now. It was far easier to push people away.
Instead, he changed the subject, which was rather silly, seeing as he was somewhat incapable of getting off the one subject that had taken over him. "Do you have any questions about the assignment?" He asked dully, switching back to English.
He didn't give a shit about this assignment. He should, but he didn't. He didn't give a shit about anything right now, except for the fact that he was never going to see Beatrix...his woman...the woman who he'd never ever even begin to be able to replace...again. He simply...just didn't care about anything else. He knew he was being selfish, and stupid...neglecting things he'd worked his whole life for...he knew that. But...Bill was, as it turns out, a human being...and a human being's broken heart took precedence over everything else in that first raw period of pain and healing.
Bill's self destruction might have seemed rash or even silly to those around him, but he needed to do it...that was just the way he was; a touch of the masochist and the persona of the destroyer coming out on full force.
He pursed his lips, raising his brows rather flippantly at O-Ren.
Unlike Bill's brother, when brushed off in such a manner, she didn't take it to heart. It did piss her off and the noticeable flare in her façade proved this. Bill was acting like a fucking foolish old man and he knew it and what pissed off the half breed was he was going to continue to be such. She always respected Bill as a boss and most importantly as a surrogate father, but right now her respect for him was dwindling. She had never experienced the loss of a lover. She had lost her parents whom she loved dearly and perhaps that could be put in the same context. So, this idea in mind, she knew mourning the dead had its phases. Bill was in the self pity stage and would soon move away from that. This phase was just much more…intense…
Knowing of this more intense stage O-Ren decided to react differently to his words than she first would have. "No," she replied bluntly. "I don't have any questions." Her other reply would have been much more heated and 'lecture' worthy if she didn't think about that other phase. She idly slid off the bar stool and took a step away. She could have just left without another word but that other gentler side kicked in. "Try and get more sleep." And with that she turned and left, leaving Bill to his own self demise.