Raza, Razatul, Where Are You?
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. And I have the weirdest feeling that I just put a ton of lawyers out of work. My job here is done. :D
D/N: Oh that's right people… I'm back. I'm back from my long time of not… being back. And ness. Quite. Anyways, I just thought I'd like to tell you that for once, this great delay WAS NOT MY FAULT! You see, my computer is a complete pile of $(($($#&!#!#, so my brother had to completely reformat the pile of $(($($#&!#!#. After that, the internet wasn't working, some of the keys wouldn't connect or something like that… Yeah, I don't know what went on. But all that matters right now is that I'm back and I'm here to treat you all to the next wonderful chapter of 'Of Dogs and Men' because you all just deserve it and ness. So, heave ho! Here we go! I'll never say that again, you know!
I Feel Like Gracing You All With My Words. Bow to Me and Be Thankful I Let You Read My Work:
Prozac pandA: Yes, you do seem to have trouble figuring out when I've updated, what with travelling the world and all that. But I seem to have trouble updating, so I'm not gonna bust you too hard on that. :D So, Japan, huh? What's it like? I've always wanted to go but I'm just so lazy… I prefer to wait for continental drift to do its work and push Japan into walking distance. The "High Priest, Attack!" quote… Well, actually, now that I really think about… It seems more Xiaolin Showdown inspired. And for some odd reason, I like that show. And what do you mean, 'intellectual minds'? Have I ever given you reason to believe these guys had any sort of intelligence what-so-ever? I think not! And Joey's hair is cool. Bakura just has bad taste and a horrible fashion sense. I do like his hair though. He's got like… bat-wings or something. And the 'banana on the catwalk' thingie… Yes. Well. I just don't really have any comment for that. Writing stories deteriorates my immense genius. Oh, well. It wasn't like I was planning on being famous or anything one day. And good, cause I'm totally using your sentence at… well, some point in time. Geez, how do you do that? You say freakishly smart things all of a sudden! I idolise you.
AndromedaDarilk: :D Yay! A newcomer! Great to have you on board! Well, I'm not going to spoil the ending for you or anything, but you'll learn about dear, old… or young, I should say, KaibaII soon enough. Until then, read on!
Flame Swordswoman: MULLET BOY? O.o Who's a mullet? Where's a mullet? I'll get a sword! Show me to the mullet!
Mandapandabug: I actually have to think about what Joey's going to do… I haven't gotten that far yet. But you'll know soon enough:D And of course the metal, triangle thing had something to do with the story! I didn't just pop it in there for no reason! (Eriso: Actually, she did. She was like, 'Let's just stick this in there…' And then she came up with a purpose for it after.) Well… I knew I was going to have to do something with it later. (Eriso: She wasn't planning on it, at first. She just wanted to have everyone read about a pointless, metal triangle that was sticking up out of the ground and then see if everyone would forget about it.) Okay, Eriso? Shut up.
Doomed to Ekko: Awesome screenname, by the way. You're new, aren't you? Welcome to the reviewing club of O.D.a.M! Here's a sticker:D … And that's all you get. Sorry. :D And are you another, 'I Hate Kaiba' person? THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOMENESS!
Hazel-Beka: Oh, don't worry about the review being late. I read it the day I wrote this chapter, so it was technically on time. :D BWUHAHAHAHAHAH! I made you laugh in public. I bet everyone thinks you're a nut now. And now, whenever you go onto the computer at the local library, people will watch you to see if you start laughing again and then lock you up or videotape you and mail it into AFV or some other pointless, home-movie show like that and try to win money. Or something like that, I'm not paying too much attention to what I'm writing right now. And Yami has always been insane. I mean, the guy's been locked in a giant labyrinth for 5000 years! If that's not enough to make some guy - who has in fact lost his memory during the process - completely lose his mind, I don't know what will.
R.F.K.a.'…': Everyone's been insane since like… chapter seven. Where have you been? Joey is technically the most sane, but that's only because I figure that after cutting off his hair, he deserves some form of luck. And Yami… well, I don't like Yami. He'll get stupid soon enough. Just you wait. :O MY FROGS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! EAT C-KaRDA DUCKS!
Lovova: :D Yay! Another newcomer! Welcome to the infamous reviewing list of O.D.a.M! Here's a complimentary sticker! HURRAY!
Anaraz: :O What do you mean you're worried? And I hope this wasn't as long a wait as it was before!
OooOOOooOThere was a long stretch of silence as Joey and Bakura stared at their newcomer. Seconds slipped into minutes as the three remained frozen in their current position. Finally, several minutes later, Joey offered up the one word he could possibly muster in his condition.
"... Uh... hi." (Shut up! I can count!)
"Greetings, my guests." Razatul said, finishing with a low sweeping bow. "You both seemed to be rather lost, so I thought I might be offer my services. Do you have a question?"
Another silence passed between the trio before Bakura finally asked, "Where's the rock chair you summoned when we first got here?"
Razatul closed his eyes and hummed thoughtfully. "It's over there." He pointed in the direction they came from.
"But we just came from there." Joey said. "How can it be over there now?"
"Because it is."
"Can't argue with that." Bakura muttered. "Well... It's nice seeing you again. We're just going to... leave."
"Alright." Razatul waved at them. "Good-bye."
Joey stared at him for a moment. "That's it?"
"Yes. Good-bye."
Joey and Bakura looked at each other with confusion, then back at Razatul. "That's really it? You're just going to let us go?" Joey asked.
Razatul paused and thought for a few seconds. "Yes, I am. Good-bye."
"You're really just gonna let us waltz out of here?" Joey blinked. "Just like that? Not gonna chase us down or anything?"
"No."
"Okay, Joseph," Bakura chuckled nervously and tugging on the collar of his shirt. "Let's get going now. No need to continue staying-"
"Wait, wait, wait!" Joey interrupted. He stared intently at Razatul. "So what you're saying is that you're just going to let us walk away without a fight, find that stone chair we were looking for, and not even bother trying to stop us?"
"Wheeler." Bakura growled.
"Of course not." Razatul smiled sweetly. "Why on earth would I do such a thing?"
"Because we're going to find that stupid temple of yours and blow you up!" Joey cried. "You're not going to stop us?"
"Wheeler!" Bakura hissed, grabbing at his ear and tugging on it.
"Well..." Razatul sighed. "I was just going to let you walk off, but since you're going to destroy me, and since you just seem so disappointed at my letting you go, I suppose I'll have to kill you then." With that, he drew his sword.
"You. Are. An. Idiot." Bakura told the blonde.
OooOOOooO"Is that him there?" Kaiba pointed a little way off. He was on his stomach, just peering over the top of the hill they were seated on.
"That's sand." Yami replied, lying on his back.
"How about that?" Kaiba pointed to something else.
"Also sand." Yami yawned.
"And that?"
"Sand."
"What about that?"
"Sand."
"And what about that dark thing there?"
"That's sand in the shadow of another mound of sand."
"What about-"
"Kaiba!" Yami yelled, looking at his fiercely. "It's sand! It's all sand! All of it!"
Kaiba looked at him for a moment in silence, before pointing to something a while away. "Well... what about-"
"Sand."
"Even-"
"That's - Well, actually that's a rock. But it's surrounded by sand!"
Kaiba stared at the rock in disbelief. "Huh. I guess it is sand then."
"Thank you." Yami sighed, rolling his eyes.
A few minutes of silence passed by, before Kaiba cried out, "Omigosh! Look! It's-"
"It's sand."
"Really?" Kaiba looked at it hard. "It really looks like Razatul."
"No, Kaiba," Yami muttered, still lying on the ground. "It's sand."
"Oh. Okay, then." Kaiba relented, joining Yami on his back. "Weird. I could've sworn it was him."
"Aaaaaaaaah!" Joey and Bakura's voice yelled in the distance.
Yami leapt to his feet, jumping up to see what was the matter. "Look! It's Razatul!"
Kaiba flipped over lazily, checking to see. "Nope. You said it was sand." He concluded, and flipped back over.
Yami looked angrily down at him. "You've officially lost any respect I had for you. Come on." He growled, grabbing forcefully at Kaiba's arm and tugging him to his feet. "We've got to save them."
OooOOOooO"Faster, you insufferable fool!" Bakura roared, hitting Joey repeatedly on the head as he ran.
"Ow! Hitting won't make me run faster!" Joey yelled back. "I can't run if I'm unconscious!"
"Run faster and you won't be." Bakura replied, striking him again.
"Does this satisfy your needs for a chase?" Razatul called behind them, apparently chasing after them at a light jog. He held the sword high over his head. "I can go faster, you know!"
"You better start moving too, you idiot!" Bakura growled, hitting him again. "I refuse to die at the hands of a psychopath!"
"Well, it's not like I wanted him to come after me!" Joey huffed, forcing himself to go faster. "I just couldn't believe that he was letting us go!"
"A chance you wasted." Bakura said, smacking Joey once more. "We could've at least gotten a head-start! Idiot, idiot, idiot!"
"Why can't you do something?" Joey asked. "You're supposed to be this 'all-powerful' magic guy who claims to be the supreme ruler of the Shadow Realm. Make him stop!"
"This isn't the Shadow Realm, you moronic imbecile!" Bakura replied. "I have no power over here."
"You got out fast enough." Joey retorted. "Plus you were able to bring Kaiba back in his regular form. Why can't you get all of us into the Shadow Realm and deal with him there?"
"And how do you propose we get him into the Shadow Realm?" Bakura snapped. "I have to have physical contact in order to bring someone."
"Why don't you just knock him out again?"
"Because! Just because!" Bakura gave him another smack, somewhat annoyed at the fact that the idea had not come to him sooner.
"AND ANOTHER THING!" Joey yelled. "When he was out, why didn't you dump the poison down his throat anyway? Just to be sure?"
"I was sure-"
"WELL, YOU WERE WRONG!"
"Joey! Bakura!" Yami's voice called out. "Run!"
"Gee, pharaoh," Bakura shouted back over his shoulder, "What on earth gave you that brilliant idea?"
"Hey, Bakura," Joey puffed out, "Wouldn't it make more sense to run towards that rock chair thingie?"
"You're the one with the legs, idiot." Bakura said. "I just need you to move faster."
"Which way are we going then?" Joey asked.
Bakura was silent for a moment, thinking. Finally he said, "I don't know. You figure it out."
"Me? Why me?"
"It's punishment for being an idiot and getting Razatul after us in the first place!" Bakura snapped. "You idiot!"
"Yeah, you idiot!" Razatul growled, alongside Joey.
Joey let out a wild scream at that, and screeched very sharply to a halt. This, unfortunately, led to the abrupt and rather painful dismount of Bakura.
"Ow! Owowowowowowowowow!" Bakura roared, flipping over and landing heavily on the ground. "You idiot! You absolute, moronic fool! Get your pasty ass back over here and pick me up!"
"Everyone for themselves, Bakura!" Joey cried back, charging off in the direction of Yami and Kaiba, who were running towards him. "Good luck!"
Bakura began spewing out every not-so-nice word he knew at this, as Razatul - who was a bit shocked at how fast Joey could stop on sand and had to take a few seconds to turn back around - began running towards him once more. "Everyone for themselves, huh?" He growled viciously to himself. Twisting around best he could, he shrieked back to the others, "Then you won't mind if I do this!" And with a blinding flash of pure darkness, Bakura was gone.
Razatul slowed to a stop when he reached the spot Bakura had previously inhabited, pausing long enough to shake his head. "This means I'll have to hunt him down now. Oh, well. Perhaps I'll get my fill from those three."
OooOOOooOSerenity walked home happily from her friend's house, opening the door and throwing her bag inside. "Here, Kaiba! C'mere boy!" she called out softly.
Short, yipping barks sounded from the kitchen, as KaibaII happily padded his way over to the red-haired girl. Giggling with affection, Serenity scooped up the dog and nuzzled him.
"That's a good puppy! And how were you while I was gone?" She cooed. She giggled again, then looked around the house. "Joey? I'm home! Where are you?" Upon receiving no answer, she began to walk upstairs, searching for her brother. "Joey? Are you even here? Did you go out somewhere?"
A soft, strange sound began to echo throughout the house, as she noticed the house become considerably darker for a few moments. KaibaII began to bark at that moment, squirming out of her arms and rushing down the stairs.
"Kaiba!" Serenity cried out, chasing after him, only to stop at the sight of someone sitting on the floor, swearing profusely.
Bakura looked up at her. "Well? What are you looking at?" he snapped.
OooOOOooO"Yami! Kaiba! Save me from that raving lunatic!" Joey wailed, running after them with what energy he had left.
"Which one?" Kaiba asked, with great boredom.
"Both of them!" Joey replied, jumping behind Yami and scanning the horizon.
"Well, there's only one left." Kaiba shrugged. "You got lucky."
"Where did the Tomb Robber go?" Yami demanded.
"Huh?" Joey said, tearing his eyes away from the distant form of Razatul. "Oh, I don't know. I ditched him sometime after he flew off of my back."
"Get out!" Kaiba exclaimed. "He flew? That's awesome!"
Joey raised an eyebrow at the supposed brain child. "What's wrong with you?"
"The same thing that was wrong with you not too long ago." Yami said. "I think I've finally figured out what's causing his decrease in intellect."
"Oh yeah?" Joey murmured, not paying too much attention.
"Indeed." Yami nodded, not caring that Joey wasn't paying attention. "Kaiba, how did you and Bakura get back here after Bakura left to get you?"
Kaiba stared at him with a blank expression. "Huh?"
"How did you and Bakura get back?" Yami repeated, a bit more forcefully.
Kaiba stared at him with the same dull expression. "Huh?"
Yami rolled his eyes. "That's right. You and Bakura combined your magic together in order to have the strength necessary to summon a portal here. However, while Bakura was conscious and able to derive his magic from his current energy, I believe that because Kaiba was unaware of the fact that he had mystical abilities from Ancient Egypt-"
"Oh, not that again!" Kaiba said. "Stop bringing that up! That whole Ancient Egypt thing is complete-"
"Candy." Yami told him.
"Ooh! Where?" Kaiba asked, beginning an epic search for the candy.
"As I was saying, because Kaiba was unaware of his mystical abilities, he must have subconsciously used the knowledge of his powers and derived the energy from that knowledge. And since most knowledge is stacked upon like a giant pyramid, once Kaiba derived the energy from the knowledge and forced it to disintegrate into nothing, the pyramid began collapsing in on itself and will eventually continue to do so until he becomes a raving lunatic!"
Joey looked up at him. "So... that means..."
"Kaiba's stupid now and he's going to get stupider until we can do something about it." Yami translated.
Kaiba looked up at them both, a mouth full of sand. "Thiff thuff duffent thaeff too gooff." (Figure it out.)
"I don't know, Yami..." Joey grinned. "I kind of like having him like this. It makes me wonder how on earth he made me fear him."
"You feared him?"
"No. Let's leave him like this!" Joey smiled.
Yami considered it for a moment. "As amusing as that would be, we're probably going to need him later."
Joey shrugged. "Okay... So... how do we change him back?"
"I've got no idea."
"I see."
"But," Yami said, grabbing Kaiba's arm, "As long we're trying to figure how exactly to get his intelligence back and turn him back into the same, arrogant, obnoxious jerk we've all come to know and hate, we may as well find that temple."
"Apparently it's over that way." Joey said, taking the lead. "Hey, Yami?"
"Yes?"
"I know that whole stupid temple of Razatul's is supposed to be the whole trick to defeating him," Joey said, "But how exactly are we going to use it?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well... none of us ever heard of it before, so how are we going to use it to stop a crazy, dead guy?"
"... That's a good question."
"Let's just find it first." Kaiba said.
Joey and Yami looked at him. "Glad to see he's not completely useless." Yami said. "He's right. We should focus on actually getting to the temple first. After that, we'll try and figure out how to use it."
Joey sighed. "I hate group projects..."
OooOOOooO"So... you're saying... that my big brother, his best friend and his worst enemy are now in some other dimension wandering around a giant desert fending off attacks from an ancient psycho who's trying to kill them all while trying to reach some temple that they've got nearly no hope in finding and you just left them there because my brother dropped you on the ground?"
"That's right." Bakura nodded, finishing in bandaging his wound. KaibaII busy sat on the ground, scratching his head.
Serenity shook her head in disbelief. "But that's impossible!"
"No, it's unlikely." Bakura told her. "But it's completely possible."
"We've got to help them!" Serenity cried. "Joey's in danger!"
Bakura rolled his eyes. "You expect me to just jump back through a whirly-hole and throw myself in the way of another oncoming sword just to save the life of that worthless dolt who left me to die? Face it, child, they're doomed."
Serenity glared at him, grabbing his shirt and shaking him. "You listen here, you jerk! That's my brother we're talking about in there! He's risked his life for lots of people before and even fought his best friend just to get money for my operation! I'm not about to let him die just because some old guy has a grudge against him and because another old guy is too lazy to get off his butt and help!"
Bakura managed to push Serenity away, trying to compose himself after the fierce shake. "Well, it sounds bad it you put it that way." He sputtered, his head still rattling. "But it's not that I'm lazy. I can't do it. The only way I was able to get back in the first time was because I drew upon the subconscious strength of the High Priest."
Serenity thought for a moment. "So use mine."
"Use your what?"
"Use my subconscious powers." Serenity clarified.
Bakura stared at her with disbelief for a short while, before bursting into peals of raucous laughter. "Your powers? Your powers? What powers? You weren't anything special in your past life! You were just a common little girl who idolised her idiot brother! Even he had more powers than you, what with being an enchanted swords-master and the Egyptian dream interpreter. You cannot help what-so-ever."
Serenity looked crestfallen, as she stared down at the ground. "Then... we can't get to him?"
"Nope." Bakura replied. His eyes suddenly went wide. "What's that? What are you doing?"
"Nothing." Serenity whimpered, her bottom lip quivering as little, hiccuping sobs emitted from her. KaibaII looked up at her, his eyes glinting strangely in the light...
"Stop that! Stop that noise at once!" Bakura commanded, only to yelp as Serenity collapsed into all-out, eardrum bursting wails. "Aaaah! You annoying girl! Stop that! Stop that at once!"
"Joey's gone! Joey's gone and I never got to say good-bye!" Serenity moaned, tears streaming down her face. "And I can't do anything because I don't have any stupid powers!"
"Would you like me to help?" A gentle, icy cool voice said, washing over them.
Serenity ceased her sobbing at the sound, as both she and Bakura stared awe-struck at the figure who had suddenly appeared before them.
She wore an exquisite, light blue gown that draped on the floor, as a pale green sash adorned her waist. On her head was a delicate crown made of a clear crystal and was filled to the brim with rainbows scattering in every direction. Her tanned skin and exotic features, combined with her flowing hair and sparkling green eyes was enough to take away the breath of anyone. An enchanting, white light surrounded her, so dazzlingly bright that all the other colours in the room seemed eerily dull in comparison.
Bakura's jaw dropped open at the sight of her. "You're... you're..."
The woman smiled, laughing softly. "That's right." She said, her voice like a bell's chime.
"Bakura..." Serenity whispered. "Who is this?"
"Gaelia."
OooOOOooOOOOOO
OOOOO
D/N: And there you have it people! The long awaited fourteenth chapter of 'Of Dogs and Men' is now finished! Extra long, just for you, because you guys waited so... unviciously. If that's a word. That's not a word. Oh, well. Anyway, I hope you were all paying attention to what dear, little KaibaII was doing during that last little scene! OOOOOOOOOOH! Suspicious! (Eriso: Oh, dear gravyness... ) :D REVIEW! What a jerk Bakura is, running out on the others like that... OH! Wait, one more thing! Just so you know, I do realise that there's a bunch of errors scattered throughout the story. I know, I know. Just bear with them for now, because when this story's all done, I'm going to go back and edit every last word and make it picture perfect for you all! Until then... quite...