Disclaimers: I don't own these characters and am getting no money for my use of them. I do not have any rights to the song in this chapter either.

Author's note: The song is "This Time Tomorrow" by Libby Wiebel. I transcribed the lyrics myself so I apologize for any mistakes (one verse left out on purpose).

This time tomorrow
I'll be feeling better
This time tomorrow
I'll be on my way
This time tomorrow
I'll be headed somewhere
This time tomorrow

Natalie looked around her room—if it had ever really been that. She'd never fully inhabited it she realized. The décor had been picked out by someone else and she'd never bothered to change it. It hadn't bothered her, it just wasn't… her. Hers. Everything she was taking was boxed up and loaded in her car and the room still looked pretty much the same. Maybe she'd always known it would be a temporary way station. Maybe that was why she'd never redecorated; her mother certainly wouldn't have minded. So this was her last night at Llanfair. She needed to sleep, tomorrow would be a long day. But there were butterflies in her stomach and it wasn't going to be easy.

The way I see it, I ain't got no one to hold my hand
The way I see it, this trip's up to me
And I ain't never been afraid of a detour
If it's gonna happen gotta answer to me

She sank down at the window seat. It felt so different than it had that night back in September when she'd sat there flirting with John. It was so much colder now and she didn't think it was just a result of the weather. She tried to push him out of her mind. He was out of her life; or at least he would be tomorrow. John and Cristian and anyone or anything else that kept trying to shape her life for her.

That's what this was all about, wasn't it? This trip. About separating herself completely from expectations and obligations and in the end, from everyone who'd tried to help her. She'd let herself lean too heavily on all those people and nearly lost her ability to stand up in the process. Not any more.

Something out there told me that I had to go
Something out there told me today's the day
And so I'm leaving pack this girl up as I knew her
Sometimes growing means you've got to go away

The world is so still at 4:30am she thought as she slammed the trunk of her car. Everything she needed, physically and emotionally was in that car. Everything that she was when it came down to it. She smiled at the sun just beginning to rise. In a few hours her family would wake up and find her note and she knew they'd be hurt and furious, but they'd understand in the end. She'd told them all she was leaving, she just hadn't told them when. She didn't want to face a barrage of good-byes, she was too afraid it would make her lose her nerve.

And, of course, there were the two people who didn't know she was leaving. The thought of having the conversation with either Cristian or John churned her stomach too much and besides, what did she owe them? Her divorce from Cristian had been filed; she wasn't his wife anymore. John knew she'd quit her job, she'd said good-byes to everyone at the station even very tensely to him; she just hadn't made it clear how final those good-byes were. They would both find out soon enough that she'd left, but by then she'd be too far away to care.

This time tomorrow
I'll be feeling better
This time tomorrow
I'll be on my way
This time tomorrow
I'll be headed somewhere
This time tomorrow

She climbed in her car and started the engine. She still had butterflies in her stomach; she looked back at the house, tempted to just go back inside and forget the whole thing. Once she was out of the driveway she'd feel better and once she was on the highway even better. Once she was too far away to turn back. By this time tomorrow she'd be free. She looked at the atlas beside her but decided to leave it closed. She didn't know where she was going, she was just going somewhere, and for now, that was enough. Pulling out on the road she thought for a moment before heading south. She was tired of cold, tired of winter, tired of icy blue eyes. She was ready for a warmer climate.

This time tomorrow
I'll be feeling stronger
This time tomorrow
I will understand
This time tomorrow
I will know the way home
This time tomorrow

She flopped down on the hard hotel room mattress and stretched out luxuriously. Her toes were still pink from the hot shower and she felt too exhausted to get up and brush her teeth but she felt so good. She'd driven for eighteen hours and it was one of the most exhilarating days of her life. The hotel was in the middle of absolute nowhere and she still had no idea where she was going but the trip itself felt like an accomplishment. And driving on half deserted highways with no destination had given her a lot of time to think. Tomorrow would be another day of driving, another day of thinking, clearing her head, and another day further from Llanview. But it wasn't going anywhere and she could go back whenever she was ready.

Everyone says, "Why you gotta do this?"
Everyone says, "What's wrong with the status quo"
But deep inside I know this would is bigger
So much bigger you could ever let me know

She'd called her mom. Called Rex. Called Uncle Bo. Just to check in, let them know she was okay and that she'd be back in touch when she was more settled. All three of them had asked her to come home. They'd all told her that for everyone who'd hurt her in Llanview there were others who loved her. There was no way for her to explain that that was part of the problem. As much anger as she held towards John and Cristian she would have stayed if only out of a refusal to let them push her out of town. But everything about her past in Llanview, even best parts, was holding her down, tying her up, and she needed to get away. Away from them and away from herself. To find out who she was so she could figure out what she wanted.

This time tomorrow
I'll be feeling better
This time tomorrow
I'll be on my way
I'll be getting somewhere
This time tomorrow

Sometimes she couldn't drive fast enough. Sometimes the depression would catch up with her. Sometimes lying on a musty hotel pillow she'd look over at the empty side of the bed and remember what she'd lost. What she'd almost had. Sometimes a song, a painting, a pool table would catch her eye and it would tear up. And sometimes in the middle of the night she would dream of him knocking on her door. And in the dreams she always let him in… which seemed like such a bad idea in the morning. And then she'd know she had to get in the car and drive again…

This time tomorrow
I'll be feeling stronger
This time tomorrow
I will understand
This time tomorrow
I will know the way home
This time tomorrow
This time tomorrow

She still loved the world just before dawn. The moments just before the sun rose when the world was pink and everything seemed possible. At 4:31 she shut the trunk of her car, climbed in, and started the engine. Four years and she was finally going home. Four years and his picture was still in her wallet. He wasn't the only reason she was going back; hell he wasn't even there. She'd talked to his brother, she knew he'd left town. But he'd be a lot easier to reach from Llanview and it seemed just possible...

Four years was a lot of time to think. A lot of time for exploring and soul searching and there were so many things she understood now that she hadn't back then. About the world, about herself, her heart, and even John. So she pulled out onto the highway and headed North. By this time tomorrow she'd be home.