John paused for a moment with his hand raised to the doorbell. Seeing her last night had only increased his desire to see her again, but how could he explain to her what he was doing there. Nine years separated them not to mention Cristian and all the lies and pain and whoever this Jonas was. And several states. They weren't really part of each other's lives anymore, so why was he still so drawn to her.

He pushed the bell and could hear it ring inside. Too late now. No chance of getting to his car and out of the drive before someone saw him. The door opened and two startling blue eyes stared into him.

He would have estimated the boy to be nine or ten years old, but that was impossible because he'd been on the receiving end of that icy glare too many times not to recognize it. No doubt at all about who his mother was and nine years ago she hadn't had a child. John knew when he rang the doorbell he wasn't prepared for meeting with Natalie, but he was even less prepared for this. The two of them just stared at each other for a moment before John finally stammered, "Um… hi. I uh-"

Before he could get further he heard footsteps on the stairs and a voice calling, "Jonas? Who is it?"

The boy opened the door wider and stepped slightly to the side as Natalie reached the bottom of the stairs and stepped into view. She was in the process of putting in an earring and wearing a dressy low cut black sweater with a pair of worn grey sweatpants. "John?" she said startled, but smiling, "Hi! I wasn't expecting you, come in."

Her son stepped out of the way to let him enter. "John, this is my son, Jonas." He nearly laughed out loud. So that was what Michael meant when he said Jonas wasn't competition. He made a mental note to punch Michael when he got a chance for deliberately misleading him… he suspected Michael thought this was amusing too. So Natalie had a son… a son who must have a father so clearly he had some competition somewhere.

"Jonas," she continued, "this is Mr. McBain. He's Dr. McBain's brother. Oh, I'm sorry," she said glancing back at John, "I guess you're Agent McBain again."

He smiled, "John's fine."

Jonas nodded solemnly, "Pleased to meet you."

"Pleasure's all mine," John said.

"Jonas," Natalie said pointedly, "why don't you go finish up your homework now and then you won't have to worry about it for the rest of the weekend?"

"I finished it already," he said, "it was easy."

"Oh," she said, "well why don't you call Linda and see if she wants to play this afternoon? I can drop you off on my way to work." By way of explanation she looked at John and said, "Linda's Kevin and Kelly's little girl."

Jonas rolled his eyes and said, "Mom, if you're trying to get rid of me you could just say so."

Natalie smiled and replied, "Jonas, baby, I love you very much but, yes, I'm trying to get you out of the room so I can talk to Mr. McBain alone."

Jonas nodded and started up the stairs mumbling loudly, "Honesty is always the best policy."

Natalie led him into the living room shaking her head sheepishly. "Sometimes I think he's more mature than I am."

John smiled at her, "He's a cute kid." He wasn't just saying it; although he suspected Jonas was nearing the age where 'cute' ceased to be an adjective he appreciated. There was something dramatic about his appearance; he had his mother's porcelain complexion and blue eyes but brown hair that contrasted sharply with his fair skin and brought out his eyes. He'd probably be quite the lady killer when he got older.

"Cute is one word for him," Natalie said. She tugged at the sides of her sweats, "I apologize for my appearance. The great part about working at night is I get to sleep in and be home with Jonas during the day, but the bad part is it makes it very tempting to just bum around all morning."

He shook his head, "You look great. Not like I'm a fashion critic."

She gave him a glance up and down, "Still going with the basic black I see."

He shrugged. "Otherwise people say I wind up clashing."

She nodded and looked at him for a moment before unexpectedly throwing her arms around him. "It's so good to see you! I can't believe Michael didn't tell me you were coming!"

"Yeah," he said as they pulled back, "he thought it was real funny arranging that meeting last night. Sorry about him-"

"Oh don't apologize. I'm Rex's sister, remember?" she said with a wave of her hand. "Can I get you something to drink? Coffee?"

"Coffee sounds great," he said.

"Okay," she said, "One second." She disappeared towards the kitchen leaving him alone. He paced uneasily, his hands thrust deep into his pockets. He hadn't known what to expect from this morning, but it definitely wasn't this. He really hadn't dared hope for such a warm reception. It hadn't even occurred to him that she could be a mother by now. Evidently he'd missed a lot in nine years. His mind wandered to the thought of Jonas's father, who he was and where he was. Questions he had no right to ask.

"Black and boring," Natalie said cheerfully as she returned with two coffee mugs and handed one to him, "hope you haven't changed the way you take your coffee."

"I think that's pretty much a universal constant," he said as she motioned for him to sit down.

"So what brings you here?" she asked curling up across from him on the couch.

"Oh, you know," he said raising the mug to his lips, "I just wanted a chance to talk to you… catch up."

"Yeah?" she said sounding almost eager.

"Yeah," he said wishing he could sound as relaxed about this as she did. "So… how long have you owned Rodi's?"

"Just over four years now," she said taking a sip of her coffee, "not long after I got back to town. I was talking with Mac one day and he said something about wanting to retire and move to Florida. And I needed a job and I was worried, you know, that if some stranger bought it they might… change it."

"I'm glad you haven't," he said.

"Well it's Rodi's!" she said. "I couldn't!" Her exclamation might have sounded over the top to someone else, but they both understood the significance that place had for them and others in town. "So yeah, I made Mac an offer, he accepted, and now I own a restaurant. I actually love it, and like I said, the schedule's perfect for me with Jonas because Mom's home with him in the evenings when I'm there."

He was tempted to ask if her son's father helped with childcare, but decided it was too early for him to ask those kinds of questions.

"I guess I could be a stay at home mom," she continued, "but it's really important for me that Jonas understand the concept of working for a living. Don't want him turning out some trust fund brat. Last thing our family needs is another Duke, I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my nephew but every other week he's in the tabloids with a different bimbo and-" She cut herself off and smiled, "I'm rambling."

"No," he assured her.

"You're sweet, but I am," she said, "so what about you? How's the DEA? Or can you talk about it?"

"I can," he said, "but it's actually very boring for the most part. A lot of paperwork."

"And before New Orleans you were in South America?" she asked. It was somewhat disconcerting how much she seemed to know about him.

He nodded. "Yeah. Peru… Colombia… mostly. It was interesting. Amazing in some ways, depressing in others. Makes you realize how good we have it here, you know. Work was a little more exciting, but I never quite got the hang of the language. I was okay until I had to do something like buy groceries or give a cab driver directions."

Natalie giggled, "I bet you were entertaining."

"Probably," he said with a wry smile, "And everybody there wants to talk to you about everything. I mean cab drivers, bank tellers, the guy behind you at the coffee shop, they all want your whole life story."

"Sounds like your personal version of Hell," she said with a smile. It wasn't quite the smile he remembered, the one that lit up the room, but it was still good to see her smile again.

"Well then they sent me to New Mexico for a while, which was awful. You know the sun shines there like constantly."

"Oooh," she said sympathetically, "must have made the brooding difficult."

"It did," he said with mock indignance. "And now New Orleans… It's okay, I guess."

"You ever miss this place?" she asked softly.

His eyes met hers. Not nearly as much as he'd missed her. "Yeah," he said, "parts of it." She held his gaze steady for a moment before looking down into her mug. He couldn't be sure, but he thought she'd caught his meaning.

"What made you decide to move back?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I think I was just ready to create a home for me and Jonas and no other place seemed quite right. And now that Jess is in California I wanted someone close to Mom, in case she got sick again."

She'd said her and Jonas. No reference to anyone else. He wanted to ask so badly, but he knew he had no right to. Instead he asked, "So where were you when you were gone? You said you spent some time in New Orleans?"

"I spent some time in a lot of places. I was around. Traveling most of the time—couple months here, couple months there. I got to see a lot of places. It really helped me clear my head after everything that happened." She said the last part very quickly. It was the first reference either of them had made to why they'd both left town and from her tone she didn't want to expand on the subject. "It helped me figure out what I want out of life," she added, "but Jonas was getting older and he needed more stability. And I was ready to stop traveling."

"Jonas seems like a great kid," he said.

"Best thing that ever happened to me," she said.

"I'm sure you're a great mother," he added.

She smiled in response. Then after a moment she closed her eyes and said, "Go ahead and ask John. I know you want to. Everyone else has."

He was startled by her bluntness and not sure he was ready for the answer but now that she'd made the invitation he was obligated. "Jonas's father-?"

"Is not part of our lives anymore," she said softly but firmly.

John gave her a questioning look, not wanting to push her, but eager to hear the rest of the story if she wanted to share. She kept her gaze focused in her coffee as she talked. "It was one of those doomed relationships from the start," she said, "we were both rebounding and there was a lot going on… The whole thing got pretty toxic. We were long over before Jonas even got here."

She bit her lip. His arms yearned to reach out for her, she sounded so resigned to what she was saying and yet he could tell that this guy had hurt her. Anger surged inside him both towards the guy and towards himself. Judging by Jonas's age he was very likely the guy she'd been rebounding from. He'd been at least part of the reason she'd gotten involved with the jerk. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

She smiled and it only looked half forced. "I'm not. I mean, I made some mistakes, but if I hadn't I wouldn't have Jonas. And… if it's okay with you I'd really rather not discuss this anymore." There was something very practiced about her tone; obviously she'd had this conversation before. It wasn't a tone he was used to hearing from Natalie, but he supposed it was only natural she would have changed. Older and wiser? Maybe. It was the tone of a woman who had set boundaries and wasn't going to let them be crossed.

"Of course," he said quickly.

"So how about you?" she asked, "Fair is fair, if we're done beating around the bush, how's your love life?"

"Nonexistent," he said.

"What?" she asked the smile returning to her face, "has John McBain become a monk?"

"Nope," he shook his head, "just old and busy."

She grinned, "Well being busy never stopped you before and I'm sure you have some life left in you somewhere."

Something in that grin perplexed him; if he were an optimist it would have almost seemed like she was flirting with him, but things could not be going that well. He knew better. Before he could decipher it she looked at her watch and said, "I hate to kick you out, but I have to get ready for work."

"Of course," he said standing up.

"But hopefully I'll get to see you again before you go back," she said walking with him towards the door.

"Yeah, definitely," he said trying to formulate a plan to make this happen.

He was already starting to process the information he'd gleaned from their conversation as he walked to his car, but was interrupted by Natalie calling his name. He turned back to see her leaning out the front door. "I really missed you!" she called.

"Yeah," he called back, "Me too!"

"So I met Jonas today," he said pointedly as he slid into the booth across from Michael that night at the diner.

"Oh yeah?" Michael said with a grin, "cute kid isn't he?"

"You think you're real funny don't you Mikey?" John said leaning forward, "Did you invite me up here just to play games?"

"No," Michael said shaking his head, "for some strange reason I actually wanted to see my big brother. That and I thought it might be good for you."

"Ah," John said, "so you're messing with my head for my own good."

Michael grinned at him again, "Tough love, Johnny. Tough love."

"Don't listen to him," a groggy looking young woman said as she walked up and seized Michael's coffee cup, "he uses that line on everyone."

"Hey!" Michael objected as she drained the cup.

"Your fault," she said plunking it back down on the table, "You're the reason I'm so tired."

John nearly choked on his own coffee, taking the girl's remark suggestively until Michael said, "I didn't cause that four car pile up."

"Whatever," she said sullenly.

"John, you remember Starr Manning," Michael said motioning to the girl. John nodded realizing why the girl seemed familiar. "She's interning at the hospital right now."

"Nice to see you again, Starr," John said.

She looked at him suspiciously, "You're not in town to arrest anyone I'm related to, are you?"

"No," he smiled.

"Then it's nice to see you too," she said as she walked away.

When she was safely out of earshot Michael turned to John and asked, "So how'd things go with Natalie?"

"Good," John said, "I mean we didn't get to talk too long, but… it was weird, she seemed happy to see me. Didn't seem angry or anything."

"You're acting like that's a bad thing," Michael said raising an eyebrow.

"Not a bad thing," John said, "Just… last time I saw her she couldn't even look me in the eye. All of a sudden it's like nothing happened."

"Nine years is a long time to get over something," Michael pointed out.

"Has she said anything to you?" John asked.

"Uh uh. No!" Michael said holding up his hands.

"What?"

"I am not getting in the middle of you two," he said.

"You already have. I'm assuming you're the one who's been feeding her information on me," John said, "'cause she seemed to know quite a bit."

"I told her where you were," Michael insisted, "that's it. And if you'd asked I would have told you where she was. But that's it, I'm not-"

"John!" Bo Buchanan said walking up and clapping him on the shoulder. "I didn't know you were coming into town."

John gave Michael a meaningful look to let him know that their conversation wasn't over before turning to Bo, "Yeah, apparently my brother forgot to tell anybody."

Sometime around midnight John made his way to the roof of the Angel Square hotel. The rest of the time at the diner had been spent catching up with a variety of people and he never got the chance to prod Michael for more information on Natalie, but by the end of the evening he needed some quiet alone time. As wonderful as it was to see old friends he'd felt a bit too crowded and he needed to think.

Talking with Natalie hadn't given him any closure; it had only made it clearer how much his feelings about her were still unresolved. He walked to the edge of the roof and looked down on Angel Square. He smiled. Of all the places in this town with all the emotional resonance they held this one was the sweetest.

Suddenly, he became aware that he was not alone. Someone had been up here already and was leaning against the brick wall that surrounded the stairwell.

"I was wondering when you'd get here," Natalie said stepping forward as he turned to face her. "You want a beer?"

To be continued.