A/N: Ahahaha, reverse psychology!

But seriously, I can't believe I wrote this. Scratch that, I can't believe I'm posting this, considering exactly one person in the entire world would find it even remotely interesting. I really should be working on my actual stories, but Zelos is being weird and so I'm writing this instead. Go blame him.

Zelos: You don't have to write it, you know.

Robyn: But you'd bug me until I did.

Zelos: Haha.

Chapter One

It was in the middle of a quite pleasant dream involving Tseng from Final Fantasy 7 and a swimming pool that I woke up with my nose on the floor and an aching back. Not really taking in my surroundings, I irritably reached over to turn off my alarm clock, only to belatedly realize that it wasn't on; nor was it even there, for that matter. I blinked, and noted somewhat blearily that my glasses were squished up against my face in a most unbecoming manner; I had fallen asleep with them on, I assumed.

It was only at this point that I remembered that my apartment didn't have any hardwood floors and that my last memory was of eating at the university coffee shop. Crap, I thought to myself, somewhat panicked. Have I somehow gotten myself kidnapped?

I immediately berated myself for my overactive imagination and instructed myself to examine my situation. Not making any sign of being awake, just in case, I first decided that my still-present bookbag was why my back hurt. A two-thousand-page kanji dictionary will do that to you. My hands weren't tied or anything, so that probably ruled out kidnapping. With my sense of sight limited by the fact that my face was smushed up against the floor, I pricked my ears for more clues.

Which nearly gave me a heart attack, for I heard someone breathing steadily not a meter away from me.

I sucked in a breath, which was seemingly overheard by the other occupant of the room. I heard a snort and then a somewhat familiar voice saying "I know you're awake."

Holy cheese doodles, that sounded exactly like Cam Clarke. Dismissing that rather out-of-context thought as inappropriate for the situation, I slowly raised myself up on my hands and knees, motion somewhat inhibited by my heavy bookbag. I knew I was shaking, but I hoped the other guy wouldn't notice. I probably just passed out from...caffeine overdose?...and this guy helped me out. He could've at least put me on a couch or something. Bastard. Realizing that I was babbling to myself and staring at the floor, I forced myself to look at my savior...captor...whoever.

Only to have another heart attack, for the man I was looking at was undoubtedly Kratos Aurion. Either that, or a really, really, really good cosplayer.

I decided this was a dream. One of those very realistic dreams in which you say to yourself, "This has to be a dream! But it's too realistic to be a dream" and then you wake up and it was a dream after all.

Something in the back of my mind noted that my thoughts were remarkably coherent for a dream. Deciding to go along with it just for kicks, I said remarkably incoherently, "Um, hi?"

"Indeed." The Kratos-guy had an expression on his face that I immediately catalogued as "Kratos skeptical-look." Which meant that he would probably be wearing that expression a lot. "Are you aware of where you are and how you got here?" he continued, getting straight to the point.

"Um, no?" Why were all my sentences coming out with invisible question marks attached at the ends?

From what I knew of Kratos, this was his cue to sigh and close his eyes, but apparently not wanting to let me out of his sight, he opted to merely sigh. "You are in the House of Salvation north of Triet. You appeared, suddenly and out of nowhere, unconscious on the floor roughly two and a half hours ago." So he could have put me on a couch or something. Did he know how uncomfortable that had been? "Do you have any explanation for this?"

I decided to go with my earlier answer of "Um, no?". I figured that "You're really just a figment of my imagination" wouldn't go down too well.

My bookbag was really doing a number on my shoulders by this point, so I decided to shrug it off. Kratos visibly stiffened, and said in a somewhat ominous voice, "If you have come to harm the Chosen, I will show you no mercy."

What, did he think I had a bomb in there or something? I raised my hands in what I assumed to be the international sign of surrender and said, trying to keep the tremors out of my voice, "I assure you that is not my intent." Whoa, sudden articulacy.

Kratos nodded at my bag. "If this is true, then you will empty your pack without complaint."

I will, will I? my treacherous mind said snarkily, but I nevertheless began the process of removing my possessions.

Five textbooks, one dictionary, one novel, four notebooks, and too many pencils to count later, my bookbag was empty and Kratos had yet to find anything suspicious. Or at least so I assumed, as he leaned back with a nod and seemed to relax somewhat. "You appear to be harmless," he said finally, as if I didn't know that myself. "But appearances may be deceiving, so I fear I cannot trust you just yet. Miss Sage?"

These last two words were spoken to someone standing outside a door I hadn't noticed before, and a familiar woman walked into the room, looking as hostile, if not more so, than Kratos himself. I guessed she had heard the entire conversation, such as it was. "I sense nothing unusual about her," she said, voice calm. "That does not necessarily rule out malicious intent."

As the two continued on in voices too quiet for me to hear, I finally got a chance to think and assess my situation. So far, I knew I was Sylvarant, with at least Raine, Kratos, and one of the Chosens. Considering their concern for the Chosen's safety, I figured it was Colette. Raine evidently trusted Kratos, so this was either entirely after the game, or before Kratos's betrayal. Given the company I was in and the tense atmosphere, I decided that it was the latter.

I blinked, realizing that I was being spoken to. "I'm sorry?"

"As I said, for the present we will not consider you a threat," said Raine, somewhat annoyed that I hadn't been listening.

"Um, thanks?" Darn that question mark.

"However, do not consider yourself off the hook," continued Kratos patiently. "If we were not in such a hurry, we would take more precautions."

Well, thank goodness for world-threatening situations, I thought to myself. "So you're not going to interrogate me?" I said out loud.

If anything, Kratos looked amused. "I never said that. It will merely not be to the extent that it would be normally."

"Your name?" said Raine, before I could get a chance to speak. Great, they were tag-teaming me.

"Robyn," I said, after a pause. If they were going to call me anything, then dag-nabbit, they were going to call me by the name I always wanted.

By the sidelong glances they threw each other, I guessed that they knew I was lying about my name, but they chose to ignore that for now. "Where are you from?"

Deciding that pretending to be from Sylvarant would just get me in trouble, I answered with my real hometown. They looked at each other again, and Raine asked, "Have you heard of this village?"

"Not in all my travels, no." So at least now Kratos wouldn't be suspicious that I was from Tethe'alla sent by the Renegades like Sheena.

But wait, my kanji dictionary...did Mizuho use kanji? It's a dream, I told myself as my heart threatened to jump into my mouth. It'll work out.

"Where are you really from?" Raine asked sharply, eyes boring into mine. Whoa, she was scary.

"Um, that is where I'm from," I said, wishing I could think of a better way to do this. "It's in the United States," I added, as if that would help.

Kratos looked pensive. "Do you even know where Triet is?" he asked slowly. When I shook my head nervously, deciding to play dumb (I didn't think they'd take too well to being told they're characters in a video game), he sighed, actually closing his eyes this time. "Sylvarant?" he prodded.

"Is it in Africa?" I said, figuring that if there was some country I'd never heard of, it would be in Africa. Not that they would get the joke.

He opened his eyes, seemingly having made a decision. They were very pretty eyes, but right now they were freaking me out. "As much as I hate to admit it, I can only come to the conclusion that you are from another plane of existence."

Gee, thanks. I hadn't figured that out.