Chapter One: Potions Class… dun dun dun dunnnnnnn

Slightly revised and edited by Tatiana Malfoy.

Mission: complete

"Uh-oh…"

"What is it now, Siri?" asked an exasperated Remus Lupin. It was the first day of 6th year for the Marauders, and because of their luck, they were headed to double potions with the Slytherins way too early on a Monday morning. So, of course, dear old Remus Lupin was forced to endure plenty of grumbles from his friends: Sirius because of the time, James because of whom the lesson included and Peter because of what the lesson included. Remus didn't mind because he was rather busy trying not to fall over his own two feet. He really wasn't a morning person.

"Um, didn't Professor K say we needed a sprig of Moonflower for our potions project?" Sirius asked tentatively. He was looking over at Remus because he was his potions partner, and he really was not an eyesore this morning (or ever for that matter), unlike James, whose hair had finally defied gravity. Jim smacked his forehead and rolled his eyes.

"Padfoot, you idiot! Didn't you hear me ask you if you wanted any from the Apothecary? Oh, yeah, I remember now, you said you didn't need any because you already had some!" Hmmm, seems Jim isn't a morning person either….

"Well, he used to have some until that first year Bill took it from his trunk this morning and wanted to know what it did when it was set on fire," piped up Peter.

"Heh, pyro."

"Moonflower? As in the same Moonflower that makes anyone seem like they've had way to many happy pills with one good inhale?"

"The one and only Remy. Guess we better avoid the common room for awhile now," James said, perking up despite the fact that it wasn't 12:00 yet, but mostly from the fact that his friend had not, indeed, been lying to him.

"Dammit Peter! Why'd you let him do that? Wait, are you implying that we could get high off of our potion ingredients?"

"Siri, you don't need to get high off of anything, you already do a great job of being an idiot naturally." Sirius seemed to ignore this, but his face had a slightly panicked expression after he realized he wasn't getting his Moonflower back.

"But what about Potions? I've been researching this project since the middle of last year! I need to get the Ageing Potion completed or else I can't stay on the Quidditch team!"

"Stop being a drama queen Siri! You have great grades, straight O's if I'm correct. You'll make it on the Quidditch team, and if you don't, I'll take your beater's bat and shove it where the sun won't shine." The last part came out through clenched teeth. Jim, being the chaser and Quidditch captain this year, was going to do everything in his power to make sure Gryffendor won the Quidditch cup as they had for the last two years. Not even the Marauders could get him to lighten up.

The four Gryffindors stopped as the reached the dungeon door that lead to the potions classroom. Professor K was the most feared professor in the entire history of Hogwarts. Not one instructor could hold a candle to the greatest, and most unpleasant, Potions Master of the century. Even the "Fearless Four" (as Sirius dubbed them on one occasion when Batman costumes, too much Halloween candy and one to many butterbeers were involved) were slightly afraid of Professor K. The main reason being a little incident when K. heard them purposely trying to botch his fantastically long (and very Russian) name, the slightly sadistic Potions Master whipped around and beheaded a large bat that was inches from Peter's hand. That had taken place in their first year, and the four have yet to cross his crazy-ass path again.

Sirius blanched, obviously recalling the episode. It was especially traumatizing for Sirius because his robes had caught most of the blood from the decapitated bat.

He turned to face James and gasped, "Before I die, I just wanted you to know… I will never forget what we had. Prongs, I think I love you!" and then proceeded to clutch his heart and fall over towards one of his closest friends. James automatically caught him, not wanting to see one of his best friends get intimate with the dungeon floor. He then looked at Sirius and said in a choked voice, "My dearest Padfoot! I shall never forget you when you pass on, but, alas, I have found another."

Dropping Sirius, James knelt on one knee in front of Remus.

"Moony, my love, would you be the kind soul who has come to mend my broken heart? Will you be the one whom I shall share my extraordinarily mind-numbing life with?" Remus peered over James' shoulder to see Peter poking a twitching Sirius to make sure he was not really having a seizure.

"Oh, Jamsie, as much as I would love for our affair to continue, I have fallen deeply and madly in love with Wormtail. I just could not bear to let anyone else steal my heart in the way he has done to me!" Remus ran over to Peter and gave him a huge bear hug, whilst pretending to sob on his shoulder. Peter, having no idea what was going on to begin with, was rather startled and just a bit concerned for his friends' mental health. A second later, a flash of blond hair caught their eye before they were surrounded by five of their fellow year mates - Slytherins to be exact.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the pathetic little love circle. What's the matter? Can't figure out which of you gets top?" came a drawling voice from the center of the group. The rest of the group snickered appreciatively. Lucius Malfoy looked exactly like his surname, from the tip of his toes to the ends of his pampered, platinum blonde hair. He even had two bodyguards, Avery and Macnair, who stood on either side of him at all times. Next to them was Rosier and Nott. The five were slowly enclosing the four Gryffindors, sneering at their rivals. Remus was starting to get an unsettling, almost trapped feeling in the pit of his stomach. It wasn't long before the full moon, and he was surrounded by gits that were threatening his pack. No one gets away with that, dammit!

"You're the one that has to bribe someone to get laid Malfoy. Now I'm going to say this once, and only once. Fuck. Off." As the wolf started to come through, Remus's powerful muscles started to show themselves and a growl made it's way to his throat. Malfoy, not knowing what was causing the change in the otherwise docile Gryffindor, was startled to say the least.

"You had better watch your mouth, Lupin. I'm feeling generous so we'll let you off lightly. By the way, Black, your mother sent you this." Rosier chucked a blood-red envelope at Sirius as the Slytherins turned to enter the potions classroom.

Sirius glanced down at the envelope briefly before he carefully put it in a lone pocket in his book bag. If it was from his mother like Rosier had said, it was bound to be something bad after the stunt he pulled on holiday. He just hoped that the Potters weren't dragged into anything because he had run to them after escaping Grimauld Place also known as #12 Headquarters of Hell.

The three tallest pranksters strode into the Potions classroom with the last of their number trailing after them.

"Wow, that time of the month?"

"Shove off James, you know it's only two days till my transformation," Remus muttered. He was still breathing a little harder than usual but otherwise kept a cool demeanor.

"Generous my ass…."

'Yes, Remus, you do have a very generous ass…. Wait, where in the seven hells did that come from? Damn teenage hormones. I've reached the point where even my friends aren't safe from being jumped.'

As the rest of the class filed into the room, the Marauders headed towards the back of the Potions classroom. They all took a seat at their designated tables. It had been by chance that they were all paired together. Well, either that or the slightly dodgy Manipulative Charm that Peter came across in the Restricted Section sure came in handy with seating charts. James took his seat next to Pete while the two canines sat down simultaneously at their workstation that was situated directly across their counterparts.

As Sirius started to set out his ingredients, his face started to betray his worry over his Potions grade. As much as people would like to believe, the Marauders didn't get their marks by charm, and Sirius was just too used to being one step ahead of the others in his grade level to not care about something that might put a dent in his school record. Well, grades-wise of course.

Low, flickering light cast an eerie glow around the room, causing Peter to shiver involuntarily. Remus couldn't really blame him; this place didn't exactly make him want to jump with joy either. He sent a sidelong glance at Sirius. His hair was pulled back at the nape of his neck, as it always was when they attended Potions, and he was biting his lip while a frown marred the smooth skin of his forehead. Overall, the effect made him want to know if his hair felt as silky as it looked, or his skin would flush if he –

The breath Remus hadn't realized he was holding came out in a whoosh of air. He repeated the mantra he had used since seeing the subject in the Quidditch showers:

'I will not get horny around Sirius. I will NOT get horny around Sirius. I will NOT- Oh hell. It's hard being gay with hot best friends, damnit! Especially when said friends share the same dorm and bathroom facilities as you. Shit, bad images. Bad, bad, BAD images…"

Professor K. finally made his usual dramatic entrance from the shadowed corner of the room, saving Remus from his imagination.

"Son of a –"

"Black! Mind your tongue when you are in my classroom. Ten points from Gryffindor." Professor K. snapped. His heavy accent added to the effect. It hadn't even been five minutes into the class and Gryffindor was already down ten points. Sirius almost missed the unfairness of it all during the summer. Almost.

"Everyone, gather your potion ingredients and be prepared to finish the project you started in the beginning of last year's term. When you are finished, come over to my desk and hand your essays in to me. Now, get to work!"

Everyone complied immediately. The only ones that dared to talk were Avery and Malfoy, and even they were a bit hesitant to break the silence that had overtaken the Potions classroom. After a discreet silencing spell cast by Sirius, they themselves started work on their potion.

"But seriously Moony, what am I going to do? I don't have the moonflower for the potion and the book never said what it would do without it." Sirius was talking out of the corners of his mouth, barely moving his lips. It was a great skill to attain when one was a Marauder.

"I honestly don't know Padfoot, I don't have any now either, do I? We shared the same potion ingredients since we were doing the same project didn't we? I guess we'll just have to improvise."

TBC … if I get reviews. Good reviews. Reviews with threats on my life if I do not continue. Please send me threats. They do amuse me. Flames as well, since it encourages me to further annoy the population. I would also appreciate it if anyone would consider being my BETA. Everyone 3's a good beta, especially lazy arse people such as myself.