Chapter 3, Unexpected results

"How long do you think they'll be out Headmaster?"

"That is hard to judge, my boy, but from the state of the potions room and their treatment from Madam Pomfrey, I'd say-."

"Mrgh…."

"- right about now."

Remus Lupin crashed down into consciousness. He tried to open his eyes and ended up squinting into a blinding light. Shifting around a bit, he felt the scratchy sheets and thin mattress beneath him. A strong scent of antiseptic filled his sensitive nose. There was only one place he could be.

The hospital wing.

"He's awake!"

"Which one?"

"Remus! Are you all right? How are you feeling?"

"Iffilkeashnmnt"

"What was that, mate?"

"I said I feel like shite." There was a slight pause, "Sorry Headmaster."

"Understandable under the circumstances, Mr. Lupin."

Remus cleared his throat. Why was it so deep? And when did Madame Pomfrey get new beds? He couldn't remember them being this small before. As he tried to sit up, a pair of petite, strong hands roughly held him down. The Medi-witch responsible was murmuring violently under her breath for him to stay still while she gave him a pain-relieving potion. He nodded, and let his mind go blank.

Just as Remus was about to doze off again, a goblet was shoved into his hands a tad hurriedly and was told to drink up. He did as instructed, feeling the burn of a strong potion work its way down his throat. He coughed a bit, and it unnerved him once again to hear such a deep voice coming from his body.

An instant later, his head was quite clear, and he was looking into the faces of a very nervous James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. Albus Dumbledoor was looking at him with concern apparent in his pale eyes, while Pomfery was hiding her discomfort.

"Did I grow a second head or something? What's wrong with you all? And what the bloody hell happened this time?"

"Er, well, we were in Potions and you didn't have your moonflower and Sirius was being a dumba-, well, he was being rather rash, and you yourself didn't know what to do and-"

"I think it'd be easier if you looked into a mirror, Remus," James finished softly for a rather flustered Peter. He shoved a small mirror into the hands of his friend.

Remus frowned at the actions of those in the room and made to accept the mirror. When he reached out his hand, he gasped with disbelief. It wasn't his hand he held out. It was attached to an arm that was under his control, yes, but it wasn't his hand. This hand was larger, and much more pale. The almost unnaturally long fingers were attached to a palm with many fine lines. Remus turned it over to see a light sprinkling of hair going up the side of his arm.

Not just any hair. Black hair. The last time he woke up his hair had been a light brown, not the color of the potion he had bared witness to just over a week ago.

A moment after Remus had gathered his courage enough to actually look into the glass; he had lost consciousness yet again.

Dumbledore chuckled lightly. "I suggest we find a more…gentle approach to break the news to Mr. Lupin the next time he regains consciousness."

"That's the least of your worries right now you old coot," growled a voice from the bed directly opposite them.

Dumbledore slid the curtains that separated the beds aside and looked into the face of a very angry young man. His face was animated and had pleasant features that indicated quite a bit of laughing, but it was currently distorted with anger. He was very tense, which showed off his compact muscles. The large gash over his left eye made it clear that he was not a person to be toyed with, no matter how jovial his face may appear at that moment in time.

"Severus! Marvelous that you have also joined the land of perception!"

"Would you care to explain this…incident, Headmaster? Perhaps at once if it were humanely possible?" The rage emanating from him was palpable.

Peter squeaked and jumped to hide behind the headmaster. James on the other hand, was looking at his enemy with slight awe. Why was it that everyone ended up looking so fucking gorgeous when they aged, and looked like utter crap now? Well, maybe not crap, but this…this was going to be very interesting when the school found out.

"Well, as you may have figured out, you are currently residing in the body of a thirty-five year old Sirius Black."

"Black? Then who has- Oh, don't tell me. Lupin if I'm correct?"

"How did you figure that out?" Peter managed after he found his voice.

"Well, seeing as 'future-Lupin' is over there," he gestured towards a nearby bed that held a still sleeping Sirius, "the answer is right in front of me. I also overheard your reaction to your best friend, and Madame Pomfrey muttering something about 'dark wizards.' I could be guessing, but I don't believe you were talking about the Beast," he said, his voice a dangerous silk.

"How dare you call him-!"

"You little-"

"Severus, I do believe I warned you about your language towards Remus Lupin on more than one occasion?"

"Oh yes, as I do recall, this happened when I was Severus Snape. Would any of you care to explain what they fucking hell happened?"

"ARGH! My hands! My face! GAHHHHHH! MY SEXY BODY!"

Dumbledoor sighed and plopped himself down on the chair next to Snape's bed.

"Would you two do the honors of calming Mr. Black? I'll take the liberty of explaining the recent events to Severus…."

TBC

Tati: SO. How's it goin?

Prisoners: Not so well. Our bodies feel torture from the cramped space and the unnatural poses you make us do. That glammed up ponce over there? Yeah, he keeps throwing glitter into our eyes and torturing us with fags and hair dye we cannot use. And there's no room for shagging. Our life is pain.

Glammed up ponce: Feel my tarted up badness.

Horrified Reviewers: EEEEEK! MY ICKLE BABY SIRI/REMY/SEVVIE KINS!

Happy Reviewers: WHEEEE! MY ICKLE BABY SIRI/REMY/SEVVIE KINS!

Tati: I'd like to express my thanks to all those wonderful reviews I've received so far. I feel loved! The death threat notice is still in place, as I need to equal out my masochistic side before I can think up any sadistic fantasies. See? And since you actually read the author's note (I know I usually don't), you get to know what goes on in the next chappie! It'll be a flash into the future to see the effect it has on current day Hogwartians. Guess what happens and I'll give you a cookie. I shall take my leave now to dye my hair an unnatural colour. Toodles!