Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina
Love Hina: Evil Edition
Chapter four
Welcome to the Hinata Sou Kanako
Part One The Party
Keitaro was in his room and was adding to granny Hina's notes.
Naru is a total bitch but just maybe there is a glimmer of hope in her just yet. She is so immature and has a serious lack of trust issue that if she got over that then just maybe she wouldn't be such a bitch all of the time. I have too much of a heart to throw someone on the street because I have a problem with them personally but she can try one's patience.
Motoko isn't all that bad. She tried to test my authority but seeing that she was a swords woman training in Kendo. It isn't that much of a surprise. I knew that I needed to show my strength and my resolve if I was going to win her trust and I think I might have done just that. I might add that she is very attractive and she seems to have a problem with showing that to anyone. She needs to open up a little which it seems to be a problem for her but all in all she is a decent person to me.
Kitsune isn't that bad either. She is a heavy drinker and thinks she can use her good looks to seduce men and she tried her act with me. Though I was tempted by her offer, I did the right thing and refused. Hopefully, she won't pull that act again for more favors but I wouldn't mind seducing me without trying to get something out of me. Hey I can't help it since I am a man after all. It is so hard to talk to her without my eyes going down to her chest instead of looking at her face when I am speaking to her but I can manage it. Even if I did do just that, she seems to keep looking at me the same way as well but I don't mind it in the least bit.
Shinobu is a great cook and does so much around here even before I arrived and I respect that. She cooks all of the meals, does the laundry for everyone and cleans the kitchen without any hesitation and even refuses to let others help her even though she could use a little help. She seems to be really shy and overly apologetic at times. I get the feeling when she speaks of me that she has a crush. . . nah it is just my overactive imagination. She is too young anyway but she does have a nice ass. She needs to accept the fact that she has a great talent in cooking. In fact, if you didn't know her you would have thought that she went to advanced classes.
Kaolla Su is different. . . VERY different from the others in this house. Her idea of a greeting is well not what I expected. Getting a kick to the head as a greeting is hard getting used to. Unlike Naru, Kaolla Su's kicks are not based in anger. I remember the first time I got her kick in the head greeting.
FLASHBACK
Keitaro was walking out of his room and heading to the breakfast table where Kaolla was waiting to give her manager her special greeting. She jumped out of nowhere and kicked him in the head.
"HELLO KEITARO!" Su yelled as she ran to the breakfast table.
"Hello Kaolla. I was just wondering. . . why must you kick people in the head when greeting them?" Keitaro asked.
"It is customary when greeting a non relative man from where I come from." Su replied.
"And what is the custom for saying goodbye if I may ask?" Keitaro asked.
She gets up and kicks Keitaro in the groin sending him crashing to the ground aching in pain.
I had to ask. I just had to ask. Keitaro thought to himself.
END FLASHBACK
She has quite an inventive mind when it comes to building things. She needs to test them out and she seems to think that I am a good test subject. Of course, I don't know much about that sort of thing but I knew enough about them to make some changes to them myself. Her latest invention which was some sort of turtle that fires something that causes pain which is what most of her inventions do was built. I made a few changes. She had set it to fire on me but I changed that so it would fire on her when she activate it. I know that she isn't doing that in spite but I am know that she can't keep doing this because one day she is going to kill someone with those inventions and I know that she will at least break something and I don't have a money tree so it will have to stop. I remember the look on her face when her invention went after her instead of me. Keitaro thought to himself.
FLASHBACK
Ah, I finished my invention and now I must test it out on my favorite test subject. Now where is he? Su thought to herself as she left the room carrying her invention.
Su looks around until she finds Keitaro and turns on her invention.
"Fire on the preprogrammed target." Su said.
"Preparing to fire on target." The machine boomed as it armed its weapons.
She became quite surprised when her invention turned around and blasted her which I must say was quite enjoyable to see the tables turned on her.
END FLASHBACK
I hope that just maybe she would figure it out that she can't do this to me but no she keeps it up. She is incredibly thickheaded and I don't think it is possible for common sense to reach her brain. But I must say it would be quite boring around here without her making some crazy invention so I just live with it. Heck, I know that if I don't want to get blasted I just set it to attack her instead of me. She doesn't even have a clue that I was messing around with her inventions and I want to keep it that way at least for now. She seems to be friends with Shinobu and it is true when they say that opposites attract. Su does have a nice ass too but like Shinobu she is too young for me as well. If those two were older, I can only wonder how things might have been different. Ah I shouldn't think such perverted thoughts but I just can't help it sometimes. Keitaro thought to himself.
It was at that moment that something had come to his attention that he had forgotten for quite some time.
Oh, I haven't told Kanako about me being selected to be manager of the Hinata Sou. I should call her. I am guessing that she returned to out apartment after leaving my parent's home. I should give her a call and tell her the news. Keitaro thought to himself.
He picked up his cell phone and dialed Kanako's cell phone number and the sounds of a phone ringing could be heard.
"Hello Kanako. This is Keitaro how is everything over there?" Keitaro said.
"Hello Keitaro. Where have you been? It has been several days since you left. I didn't know where you were." Kanako said.
"You won't believe this but it seems grandma Hina had retired from being manager of the Hinata Sou and you won't believe who she picked to run it now." Keitaro said.
"You aren't saying that you are the new manager of an all girls dorm. Hey you don't think they will mind if I decide to make a trip up there later today." Kanako said.
"Nah, they won't mind you making a visit." Keitaro said.
"So how are the tenants of the Hinata Sou? You know what I am talking about." Kanako said.
"Well, there is this one girl who is a total bitch and not much of a looker either. Her name is Naru. There is this girl who trains in Kendo who is hot as hell and her name is Motoko. There is this young girl who can cook like a gourmet chef. Her name is Shinobu. This other girl is an inventor and is well very special to say the least. Her name is Kaolla. There is this other girl named Kitsune who is also well endowed too and loves drinking . . . a lot and that about wraps up for the household." Keitaro said.
"Hmm. . . you haven't played around with the girls now?" Kanako said.
"Nope." Keitaro replied.
"Good because I want you to be ready for me when I come up today." Kanako said. seductively.
"You sure sound pretty horny today." Keitaro said.
"And you aren't?" Kanako asked.
"Of course, I am." Keitaro said.
"So I am going to hang up now and start the trip up to the Hinata Sou so I will see you in a little bit. Bye." Kanako said.
"Good bye, Kanako." Keitaro said as he hung up his cell phone.
Hmm. . . I wonder how the girls will react to her. Keitaro thought to himself.
There was a knock on the door and someone opened the door to let this person in.
Who could that be? Oh yeah, Naru was taking the Tokyo U exam and she should have gotten home by now. I wonder how she did on her test. By the way, I remember how she acted when she took her mock exam, I hoping that she fails so it would teach her a lesson. Keitaro thought to himself.
FLASHBACK
"Hey I'm home everybody." Naru yelled as she opened the door to the Hinata Sou.
"So how did you do on your mock exam, Naru?" Kitsune asked.
"Did you pass your test, Naru?" Motoko asked as well.
"I got the highest score in the entire country." Naru said with a smile on her face.
"Wow. You did really good but yet again you did study practically non-stop so it would be no surprise you got such a high score." Kitsune said.
Keitaro entered the room where everyone had gathered around Naru as she talked about taking her test.
"See that Keitaro. I got the highest score in the country. You think you are so smart huh well at least I got a future and since well I got a future and what about you huh? What are you going to do?" Naru asked Keitaro.
"Well that is just a practice test. Tell me this when you took the real thing. Of course you probably took a lot of guesses since there was nothing riding on it but it is a whole lot different when you have your future riding on one single test. You think you are so smart because of one score on one practice test." Keitaro said.
She is so full of herself and she has put herself on such a high pedestal that sooner or later she will get to a point where the only way to go is down and a nasty fall it will be for her ego when it happens. I think I will let her sail her kite or ego for now but when it falls she will come running to someone to pick up the pieces and I will be there when it happens. Keitaro thought to himself.
END FLASHBACK
Keitaro noticed something different this time. She didn't seem so happy and he could barely hear her voice as she announced that she had come home from taking the test. He walked outside of his room and watched as she went into her room without saying hardly anything to anyone as she did so.
I know something is bothering her and this is so unlike her to just go to her room without talking to anyone. I am going to find out what is wrong though I have a hunch that it has something to do with the test she just took. Keitaro thought to himself.
He knocked on Naru's door hoping that she would answer it.
"Who is it?" Naru asked.
"It is me. Keitaro."
"Nothing is wrong so go away!" Naru yelled through the door.
"Oh come on you can't fool me. If there is nothing wrong then why weren't you so happy since you passed your exams and became a Tokyo U student." Keitaro said.
He could hear sobs from behind the door.
"Look, I know something is wrong so you are either going to open this door or do I have to go though the hole in the roof of my room now? Either way I am coming in since I have something to say to you if you will listen to it." Keitaro said.
She opened the door to her room and let Keitaro in before shutting it.
"Look, I know that you failed your test but you know something?" Keitaro said.
"What?" Naru asked still crying over her failure to pass the Tokyo U exam.
"I am happy you failed your test." Keitaro said.
"How could you say that? What is this all about? You are just here to rub my failure in my face, huh? Go ahead have your laughs you asshole!" Naru said even more upset then before.
"You know you should let a person finish what they are saying before speaking or you may misunderstand what they are trying to tell you." Keitaro said.
"Ok fine. Continue to insult and degrade me since you seem to enjoy it so much." Naru said now angry as well as sad.
"Well I am happy you failed because what did success teach you? It taught you nothing. You needed to see failure because when you fail you have to reevaluate yourself and see the faults in yourself and then you can correct them. Since you did so well on your practice tests, you didn't see any faults and thought you could do no wrong and I knew it but I knew you wouldn't listen to me. But now I hope you are more willing to see that you still need some guidance and I can help you with that.
I didn't do so well in high school but I strive to pass the hardest test because of what Kanako told me. She wanted me to try for the best because she could see that with time I could be whatever I wanted to be and I am not constrained by what I know now but of what I think I can do. I didn't get the chance to take the exam in the three years since graduating from high school. The first year my father lost his job and I took on two jobs to help with the financial problems that arose from when my father lost his job and until he found a new job that could pay the bills. I took on a lot of responsibility but I managed even though I didn't have much of a life but it was worth it in the end. I was still helping out deep in the second year of tryouts for Tokyo U so I waited.
When I was about to try to take the Tokyo U exam something bad happened. Kanako got into a car accident. It wasn't too bad but she had a broken leg from it. She told me not to worry but I decided to pass on this year's test so I could help take care of her while she recovered from it. It was at this time, that we became really close because of it. I don't regret any of the decisions I made so far in my life and that is something to be proud of." Keitaro said.
Naru just stood there and listened to every word he said and she couldn't take it anymore and just ran up to Keitaro and embraced him because it was at that moment that she understood what he said and it all made sense to her.
"I just want to know that if you will help me take the test this year then I will help you as well. Together we can both make it in and become Tokyo U students." Naru said with a smile now on her face.
"Yes, I hope we can both make it in." Keitaro said as he left her room to ponder her future while he knew that he was expecting company today.
"Hello everyone." Keitaro said.
"Well you look like you are in a good mood, huh? What's the occasion?" Kitsune asked.
"Well, we are going to have a special guest tonight?" Keitaro said
"And who may that be?" Motoko asked.
Keitaro waiting a moment before answering them.
"Come on! Tell us who it is because the suspense is killing me." Kitsune said.
"Oh all right. It is my girlfriend Kanako." Keitaro said.
It was at that moment that the sound of a doorbell could be heard.
"Come on in." Keitaro said knowing who was on the other side of the door.
It was at that moment that a woman dressed in black opened the door and walked inside.
"That. . . "Kitsune said.
"Must. . ." Motoko said.
"Be . . ." Shinobu said.
"THE GIRL THAT KEITARO IS FUCKING!" Su screamed at the top of her lungs.
"SU!" All the girls yelled at her.
"What?" Su asked wondering what was the big deal with what she just said.
"When did she learn that kind of language?" Wondered Shinobu as she looked at Kitsune.
"Don't look at me. I didn't teach her that kind of language." Kitsune said.
"Naru taught her how to say that filthy word." Motoko said.
"Nah, Naru wouldn't do something like that?" Kitsune asked.
"I wouldn't have believed it myself if I didn't hear it first hand." Motoko said.
FLASH BACK
Naru, and unbeknown to her Su, was watching a steamy soap opera and was really into it when Motoko walked into the room and Naru didn't know that someone else was in the room.
"I can't believe it. Look you idiot. Your husband is fucking your best friend you fucking idiot. I can't believe how much of a fucking idiot couldn't fucking understand something so fucking obvious." Naru said to herself.
Su started to repeat the word over and over again and Motoko was getting really pissed.
"Naru, how could you?" Motoko said.
"It isn't what it looks like, honest!" Naru said.
"Watching that disgusting perverted filth is something I can barely tolerate but teaching a young child to use such disgusting language is something I can't stand. You must be PUNISHED for this." Motoko yelled at her as she became even more angry.
"No don't!" Naru pleaded to no avail as she took out her sword and yelled air splitting spirit sword as a ki attack slammed into Naru and flung her at a wall which by the way was quite painful.
END FLASHBACK
"Well, that is something that is news to me and that doesn't happen too often." Kitsune said.
"I apologize for her uncouth language. My name is Motoko Aoyama and what's yours?" Motoko asked.
"It doesn't bother me and yes I am having sexual relations with Keitaro to back up what your young friend just said. My name is Kanako Urashima."
"Well since you are here now there is only one thing to do." Kitsune said.
"And that is?" Shinobu asked.
"Have a party of course." Kitsune said.
"No alcohol, Kitsune." Motoko said knowing she would bring it the first chance she got.
Now what is a party without a little booze? Hmm. . . Kitsune thought to herself.
"Ok, we will have some punch instead so Shinobu why don't you fill a big bowl with punch and get some snacks too okay?" Kitsune asked.
"Yeah sure." Shinobu said as she went to the kitchen to get what Kitsune had asked for.
Kitsune went to her room to get something to add a little spice to the punch.
It is about time some of these girls loosened up a bit and have some fun so while nobody is looking I will slip a small bottle of this into the punch bowl and then we can have some fun. Kitsune thought to herself.
She returned to the living room where the party refreshments were set up and she looked around to see if anyone was looking at her while she poured the contents of her bottle into the punch.
"Okay so who wants some punch?" Kitsune asked as she poured everyone and then herself a cup of punch and handed it to everyone. She really didn't want Shinobu or Su drinking it but if she refused them then she would have made herself become suspicious so she gave it to everyone and as they drank it they started to feel funny.
They partied the night away. They didn't know what happened but when they woke up the next morning there was a few surprises.
Su and Shinobu were passed out on the floor in different locations in the living room but weren't even near Keitaro. Keitaro was lying on the floor with Kanako on top of him while Kitsune and Motoko laid beside him with their arms over Kanako's back. The only thing wrong with this picture was that Keitaro and all of the girls were naked. What could have possibly happened to get them all to undress like that? What were Kitsune, Motoko doing next to Keitaro and what was Kanako doing on top of Keitaro? It seems that Su had activated a recording device that recording everything that had happened that night but were any of them ready for it? And who was the person who knocking had woken them up from their drunken slumber and walked in on quite a scene? HINT This person is close to one of the girls and her first name starts with a consonant.
I will tell you all the answers
to every question you might have in the next chapter. Remember this is humor you know?
THE END
Next chapter
Welcome to the Hinata Sou Kanako
Part Two The Aftermath of the Party
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