Disclaimer: I don't own Love Hina.
Love Hina: Evil Edition
Chapter Six
first the stats of this story when I posted this chapter
88 reviews and all positive for the most part a good sign
4050 hits yeah this story is really popular and that means some people aren't reviewing which isn't right.
20 on favorites I consider them my fans for this story
18 on alert also considered my fans though some people are on both lists.
To VoidHawk yeah I figured you wouldn't like the Omake but it was better then putting it into the actual story. That was for another fan (bigfics) of mine. If you are worried that Naru would get a free ride well don't. She will do more stupid things and get beaten for it and besides what would this story be with Naru get beat up or made fun of at ever turn. You won't see Keitaro doing that because his moral code prohibits him from hurting women even a bitch like Naru. It makes him more of a man if he didn't hit her then if he attacked Naru himself but I said things like punches and kicks are wrong but bashing it totally acceptable.. I see some people want to see some Kanako/Keitaro/Tsuruko action and I was thinking about it but I didn't know if anyone would like it.
To pockygirl-2002 and zero askura yeah I think a threesome with Kanako and Tsuruko would be nice. I am doing that for sure.
To Sinner Aion you seem to be confused along with another reader. None of the Hinata Sou residents had sex with Keitaro. I just made it look that way so I could use the classic "it's not what it looks like" remark from Motoko when her sister came over. As for Tsuruko well, I thought that having Keitaro and Tsuruko knowing each other before she came to visit her sister would make for a fun story. The only ones who did it were Keitaro and Kanako and it isn't like they haven't done it before in this story.
To kippenberger I didn't know that you refered to sex as well. The way you wrote it seemed like both people had to be older then 18 which Shinobu and Su are obviously not. As for your suggestions, your idea made me think of recreating the red moon transformation but with a few modifications. As for Tsuruko, I made the character to want to share him while taking her away so she wouldn't be stealing him away from Kanako but thanks for the suggestions.
Pairings are unknown at this moment but please include your suggestion into your review for this chapter.
"So what are we gonna to do now?" Keitaro asked.
"Well, are you gonna go out wearing that thing?" Tsuruko asked her sister.
"What do you mean, sister? This is what I always wear." Motoko responded.
"This is what you wear? Well, I think it is high time for you to get a whole new wardrobe. It is sure to excite your new boyfriend." Tsuruko teased Motoko knowing that she really didn't have a boyfriend.
"HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND! I don't need new clothes for this are sufficient and I am not changing to impress a man!" Motoko yelled in the hopes that she would stop.
"Well, I am not so sure about that. The way I seen you look at him makes me wonder some times about you." Kitsune joined in on the teasing of a now red faced Motoko.
"Hey did any of you know that Motoko writes romance novels?" Keitaro asked.
No he is going to talk about my stories and with sister around. . . oh please just kill me now. Motoko thought to herself.
"What do you mean, Keitaro?" Kitsune asked inquiring on what he was talking about.
"Well. . . I happen to glace at a book that was lying around and then. . ."
FLASHBACK
hmm. . . what is this book? Keitaro wondered as he picked up the book.
Untitled story by Motoko Aoyama was on the front page.
He starts to read it and finished the story. It didn't take long as the story was incomplete.
Not bad. I should talk to her about this. She really knows how to make a good romance story. Keitaro thought to himself.
END FLASHBACK
"Well Motoko, you know that guy in that story sounded a lot like me. I am happy to be a part of your fantasy life and if you want I can fulfill those fantasies for you." Keitaro teased as he enjoyed riling her up.
She hesitates for a moment before slapping him in the face.
"I am going to take the hesitation as a yes but not right now." Keitaro said teasing her some more as her face turned redder then a cherry.
"Hey lets go down to a clothing shop and help Motoko get some new clothes." Keitaro said.
NO! I don't want to be tortured anymore. She is going to embarrass me for sure. Oh god why did she have to come here? Motoko thought to herself.
"Well, it is settled. We are going shopping. So let go everyone and head to the clothing store." Tsuruko said.
Everyone walks out of the house to go to the clothing store except Motoko. Tsuruko dragged her sister as she tried to dig her nails into the floor in a final attempt to escape Tsuruko's grip on her.
As they walked to the store, they continued their conversation.
"So uh sister, what are you thinking that I should get for my new wardrobe." Motoko asked hoping that she won't say anymore embarrassing things.
"Well, I can't say for sure but I thinking along the lines of something that will show off the best aspects of your physique but it must be tasteful so it doesn't make you look any less of a woman. One thing, you aren't wearing those chest bindings when not training are you?" Tsuruko said knowing full well what her reaction would be.
"Well yes, I feel they are quite comfortable to wear but do you have to ask that in front of him?" Motoko responded.
"I don't believe there is anything you have that he hasn't seen already and second, if you wear those all of the time. Men might think you are inadequate in that department." Tsuruko said without a thought to what the implications of what she said.
"Huh, I don't understand what you are talking about?" Motoko asked getting confused by what she just said.
"She is trying to tell you that men might think you don't have a big chest which me and other men will notice.
I didn't know until I felt around down there after she thought she could attack me for stating my authority when I took the job as manager of the Hinata Sou and as punishment I thought that feeling her breasts would teach her not to attack the manager of the dorm that they are staying in and I got the suspicion that you weren't resisting because you were enjoying it. She is quite adequate but your sister is much larger then you.
Any other person, would have evicted you without a second thought but I gave you a second chance and you took it quite seriously unlike Naru who still hasn't figured it out yet but I let her stay since I enjoying teasing and watching my sister beat you up and maybe one day you will grow up and act your age." Keitaro said.
How does he know? I never had a man feel me like that and I felt such weird feelings. I felt somehow different and it was pleasing to have his hand on my chest but I don't know why? Motoko thought to herself.
"What are you saying? That I'm nothing more then a violent overgrown child." Naru asked
"Well actually yes." Keitaro said.
"You you. . ." Naru said while readying her fist for a Naru punch.
"No girl is going to hit my brother especially a stupid ugly bitch like you!" Kanako yelled as she punched her in the stomach and she fell on the ground from the blow.
Naru got up and began to respond to Kanako's insults towards her.
"I am not stupid, ugly, or a bitch." Naru said.
"Oh, this is coming from someone who gets the highest score on the pre test but fails the actual test. Keitaro told me about that and I believe you were probably cheating because Naru is an insecure brat who couldn't handle failure and things like that." Kanako said.
"Well we are here now so Naru try to act your age so I can look around without the baby crying because if you do cause a scene, I will be very mad and you don't want me to get that mad at you. I will shove a pacifier so far up your ass that it will end up sticking out of your mouth when I'm done." Kanako warned Naru as they entered the men, women and young adult's clothing shop.
They all look around the shop for a while to see if anything would catch their eye.
"Oh look Naru, this shirt is just perfect for you." Kanako said showing her a shirt with the words. . .
I'm a btch and proud of it.
Naru was angry but knew that if she attacked her here then she would get thrown out the door and onto her ass if she did anything now.
"Look at this Motoko. This is just perfect for you." Tsuruko said.
"I don't like it. It is too revealing for my tastes." Motoko said showing her disapproval.
"Come on! Get in that dressing room and put it on. Don't make me go in there and make me dress you myself." Tsuruko said before pushing her into the dressing room.
Ugh, this is so embarrassing and with Keitaro there, he just adds to the embarrassment like I need anymore of it. I might as well put it on since I don't want sister in here dressing me like a child. Motoko thought to herself while walking into the dressing room to change into the new outfit.
Meanwhile, Tsuruko had been looking around and picking out various sets for Motoko to try on.
"Well here goes nothing." She said to herself as she left the dressing room with her new clothes.
"Well, what do you think?" Motoko hoped they wouldn't like it so she would never have to wear that dress again.
She walked out with a shirt and pants combination. It looked similar to what Kitsune normally wears but with different colors.
"You see Naru, Motoko is showing what an attractive girl with fashion sense looks like which is two things you obviously know nothing about." Kanako said basically to insult Naru since she didn't like Naru in the least bit..
"These clothes are too feminine for my tastes." Motoko said giving her opinion.
"You aren't turning lesbian on me now or are you?" Tsuruko asked.
"OF COURSE NOT!" Motoko yelled quickly correcting her sister's mistake.
"Whew, for a second there I was thinking that you were." Tsuruko responded to Motoko's outburst.
"My, this outfit looks perfect on you and you are simply stunning." Kitsune gave her opinion.
"How about a man's opinion on Motoko's outfit?" Tsuruko asked.
"Yeah Keitaro, how about your opinion on Motoko's new outfit?" Kitsune asked.
"I just like how it shows off your big chest and shapes nicely with your equally hot ass as well not to mention it makes you look very sexy." Keitaro said with a smirk on his face.
"S. . . s . . . s . . . sexy?" Motoko responded with a ki attack from Keitaro's opinion.
"Why you. . .how dare you call me sexy?" Motoko yelled in anger for calling her that.
He dodged the attack with little effort and the ki attack dissipated before causing any damage to the store.
"Oh so you agree huh?" Keitaro said still smiling at Motoko who is now blushing profusely.
"Hey if like that outfit on her then why don't I come to your room later and we can play the dress up game?" Kitsune says seductively while actually joking to rile up Motoko so more..
"That sounds like fun so when do you want to do it. . . tonight?" Keitaro said seductively knowing full well that it is a joke.
"How dare you try to seduce my friend, you pervert?" Naru yelled getting angry at what Keitaro was saying.
"Come on Naru. You can't see your friend there is trying to pretend to seduce me which is fine if it doesn't involve getting favors out of me. She is an adult woman who wants to have some adult fun which I am guessing you know nothing about not like I am surprised. These type of games require you to have a boyfriend and guessing by the lack of one so far signals that you never had one before which is quite sad to say the least but that is just my opinion and nothing more." Keitaro said.
"I hate to admit to you but you sometimes say some stupid things and you are a little bitchy to me at least and you should know my now that I was only joking and only having a little fun that's if you were my best friend." Kitsune said.
"And you call me your friend? What kind of friend are you, Kitsune? Siding with a man over your best friend." Naru said still getting angry at both of them.
"You should be happy that your friend is so up-front with you. Most girls would tell the whole world before telling you that you have some problems that you should try to deal with. Why don't you live in the real world instead of living in your fantasy world, hmm?" Keitaro said trying to knock some sense into Naru's thick skull.
"Go on now and try some of these on." Tsuruko said handing her a bunch of things to try on.
She goes into the dressing room and puts on one of many various outfits and comes out and the girls and Keitaro give their opinions before going in to try another outfit. Motoko came out wearing the last outfit which was a long dress. A/N like the one she got from Haruka in the anime.
"Wow. . . you look great in that." Naru said.
"It isn't exactly something I would wear but it is perfect for you and your better half." Kitsune teased.
"I have told you all for the last time." WE ARE NOT A COUPLE! Motoko yelled now getting frustrated that they weren't listening to her.
"Hey Naru, why don't you find something that you can wear so I can at least show you try to look good and while you are at, why don't you get a haircut?" What are you trying to be, huh? You look you are wearing a pair of rabbit ears on top of your head. What you trying to pick up with that. . . local news, sports and weather reports?" Kanako said continuing her barrage of insults and put downs.
"Hey look Naru this shirt is perfect for you too." Keitaro said showing Naru a shirt and she read what the shirt said.
I'm the stupidest and ugliest one in the group and proud of it.
Naru got pissed and went after Keitaro with her fists armed and ready. What she didn't notice is that two husky strong sales clerks who are both having a bad day are passing by as Naru readies her fist. They have been chasing Su around as she was running all over the shop knocking things over and being a real pain in the ass. Keitaro sees this and decides to give Naru a free hit. Keitaro falls back from the punch and lands on his ass.
One of the security guards taps Naru on the shoulder.
"Try that again and I am going to throw your ugly ass out!" The security yelled to the girl who had pissed him off.
"Oh go fuck yourselves!" Naru responds with a nasty remark without turning around to see who had said that.
Some people start to notice the fight that is brewing and begin to stare at her.
"What the hell are you looking at?" Naru yelled at the people who were staring and they quickly looked away and left.
The security guards lifted a kicking and screaming Naru and threw her face first on the sidewalk.
"Let me go you bastards." Screamed Naru as she attempted to free herself from their grasp on her but she couldn't as they led her to the door which they opened up.
"And stay out you stupid ugly bitch! God, the nerve of some people." The security guards yelled before going back inside
"Well, we might as well leave since that stupid girl ruined this day with her typical child like behavior." Kanako said.
"We have to go down to the grocery store to do some shopping for dinner tonight so lets go there next." Shinobu said.
They all went to the grocery store and bought dinner for tonight. Su decided to run around the store causing havoc and mayhem throughout the store until they promised to buy her some bananas and then that is when she stopped running around the store and actually behaved quite nicely for a change.. While they were shopping, Naru tripped on something and fell on top of Keitaro.
"How dare you try to seduce my boyfriend, you pervert?" Kanako yelled.
"It isn't what it looks like, Kanako!" Naru said as she pleaded to her to put down her fist.
Kanako punched Naru in the stomach after she had gotten up from the fall and she came tumbling down to the floor gripping her stomach in pain from the punch..
"How does it feel to get judged for something that you didn't do. Do you enjoy getting beaten up for things you didn't do?" Kanako asked Naru.
"No! Of course I don't enjoy getting hit all of the time. What do you think I am, a masochist?" Naru asked.
"Well, stop being so judgmental all of the time when you aren't exactly perfect yourself. I don't think you are like that but by the way you act one can only wonder if you are that way or aren't that way." Kanako replied to Naru's question.
"Well we are done shopping so lets pay for the food and go home. I am very hungry and I can't wait for Shinobu to cook some of that delicious food." Keitaro said.
Shinobu blushed when she heard Keitaro praise her cooking.
"I am not that good. . ." Shinobu said.
"Hey come on you are a wonderful cook and don't go thinking any different." Keitaro said.
"You really think I am good at cooking?" Shinobu asked.
"I have never tasted such good food in my whole life." Keitaro said while praising Shinobu for her natural talent in cooking.
They all agreed with Keitaro's comment which only caused Shinobu to blush even more then before.
Well everyone went home and Shinobu cooked a wonderful meal and everyone praised her cooking several times over.
"Well, I am stuffed and since it is getting late. I am going to bed." Keitaro said while winking his eye at Kanako.
"I am right behind you." Kanako said as they both started to head to his room. The rest of the girls went to their rooms and prepared to go to sleep.
"Hey Keitaro." Tsuruko asked.
"What is it, Tsuruko?" Keitaro asked.
"Do you mind if I join you too?" Tsuruko whispered seductively into Keitaro's ear knowing what Kanako and Keitaro were going to do.
A smile started to appear on Keitaro's face and he started to whisper something into Kanako's ear.
"Well, I don't mind if you come sleep with us but I am one hundred percent straight okay." Kanako said.
"No problem. I am just like you so I am only interested in getting a piece of him." Tsuruko said pointing at Keitaro.
The three of them went into Keitaro's room and the clothes started to fly off as they had a wild night.
Meanwhile, Naru was trying to sleep as she heard sounds of moaning and the screams of names from Keitaro's room.
"Ugh god, what the hell are they doing up there?" Naru said obviously disgusted by what the amount of noise that they were making and how it was interfering with her sleep.
Naru stuck her pillow over her face in a vain attempt to block out the noise but it was no use. While Keitaro, Kanako and Tsuruko had the best night of their lives. Naru's nigh couldn't have gotten any worse.
THE NEXT MORNING
Everyone got up and got dressed and went into the kitchen where Shinobu was preparing a delicious breakfast.
They all exchanged greetings with one another as Shinobu prepared the table for breakfast.
Everyone seemed to be a good mood and Keitaro, Tsuruko, and Kanako each had a very big smile on their faces but one person was missing.
Naru walked into the kitchen still tired from lack of sleep and was in an awful mood. She sat down and immediately confronted Keitaro with what was bothering her last night.
"You know why I am tired and the last to wake up?" Naru asked.
"No, I don't know but please tell." Keitaro asked.
"I couldn't sleep because of all the moaning and the screaming of names kept me up all night so what the heck you were doing last night with Kanako and Tsuruko." Naru asked.
"It is called having mind blowing sex Naru. You should try it sometime. It may do you some good but you have to have a boyfriend who really likes you to do that." Kitsune responded to Naru's question.
Shinobu just blushed from what Kitsune just said as Su had a question on her mind.
"What is sex and is it something that is tasty?" Su asked not knowing what she was talking about.
"It depends on what you do with the other person." Keitaro responded.
"Of course, you will need a larger chest and to lose a little weight especially since you have a fat ass and a complete make over and a new personality because this one sucks. Oh yeah and going to a hair stylist who knows what they are doing could help too. If you do all that, then you may actually have a chance of getting a boy to like you like that." Keitaro said.
"How dare you insult me like that?" Naru yelled while trying to punch Keitaro but gets sent into orbit by a ki attack from Tsuruko.
"I completely agree with Keitaro and that girl could use all of that. She has quite the nerve to attack him for just being honest with his opinions." Well lets all eat or this food is getting cold. Tsuruko said.
They all had a delicious breakfast but Naru who didn't get anything because she couldn't keep her big fat mouth shut for once but that would mean that she had common sense if she had actually held back when she should have. Guessing by her attitude and actions so far that seems not to be the case so far.
END OF CHAPTER
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