disclaimer: who would pay me for this stuff? come on i wanna know. everything but plot belongs to J.K. blah blah blah.

The Daily Prophet

DEATH EATERS STRIVE

FOR MUGGLE PROTECTION

Maruder no.5 reporter

Yesterday major disturbances were caused when the Death eaters (a community group dedicated to severing the dark Lord Voldemort and the touring and killing of innocent muggles) protested outside the ministry of magic for the protection of muggle humanoids.

Minister for magic, Cornelius Fudge had this to say. "I think that the Death Eaters should be stopped. This is not a natural occurrence."

The ministry court gathered yesterday afternoon to discuss the problem at hand.

"I think that the Death Eaters should have the right to protest against flaws in the magical law." Said Albus Dumbledore; Headmaster of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.

Mr Harry Potter, the-boy-who-lived told reporters "if the Deatheaters want to protest for the rights of muggles then they obviously have some unseen plans for concurring the world."

"How this will come about we are still not sure but my friends and I will get to the bottom of if."

This morning Mr Potter and his friends; Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley, Nevile Longbottom, and Luna Lovgood sent to the ministry of magic the lifelessly, limp body of the once most feared wizard in the world; Lord Voldemort.

"it is a shame we had to loose such a fine example of a hopelessly, beyond repairable, form of a dark soul." Said Albus Dumbledore after the incident. "imagine all the good he could have accomplished if he had not done bad. A shame, a real shame."

And so the downfall of our dear, our own, our beloved Lord Voldemort has come to pass. We will all morn his death and shun his murderers from society. It is what he would have wanted.

This horribly funny newspaper article was brought to you by the wonderously fasinating person who also wrote: Devils may cry, Forgotten and Fallen, and her wimpy lttle dweeb of a brother.

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