The Vampire Pandora
Chapter 9 pt.3 Of Confrontations and Confessions
Gabrielle
FLASHBACK
Remy smiled his understanding as he looked on at me in wonderment. Had I made a mistake in telling a perfect stranger my life's story? Maybe the fact that I did not know him only made it all the more easy to pour out my heart. I only hoped that maybe, he would follow my example.
"Remy don't think it's fair", he said suddenly, breaking the silence that had descended on us.
"What isn't?", I asked him.
"That you be de one who has to talk, alone", he answered casually. "Remy think he could talk to ya some, if de p'tite willing ta listen."
I turned on the bench to face him as Remy began to speak.
"I don't really do dis often, chère", Remy confessed, a smile lighting up his face.
I nodded my head in understanding. Who better than I understood how difficult it was to pour out your life's story? Especially to someone you had none less than a month! But who knew more than I how, releasing, it felt to finally confess to another human beings whatever it was that had been haunting you. The only other person that had ever heard of Amelia and my family was Zephyr, and he had tainted them somehow. Her memory, my thoughts of my sister seemed dirtied by the fact that I had shared her with someone else. I felt like he had stolen her from me in some way.
But it was different with this one. This one, this suave boy who thought he was God's gift to women. When I had spoken of my sister, when I had uttered her name aloud for the first time in weeks... It didn't feel as though he were stealing her, tainting her. It simply felt like I was getting her back for a brief, blessed moment. How could I explain what Remy had done for me? It was dangerous, and I known this completely. As soon as someone knows you, the have you. Unless you have the chance to begin a life somewhere else, you are chained and kept to their expectations of you. I found that exhausting and worse than death. It just hurt to much, it was too risky to let someone in so close that they mattered to you. The only way to live was looking out for yourself. Unselfish love is a lie, a fairytale. It is the one thought and lesson from Zephyr that I would always keep with me.
"Remy feels foolish doin' dis chère", he told me sheepishly.
I laughed at little at his insecurity, but not at him. I could never laugh at him now. In fact, I wasn't sure exactly how to treat him now. Maybe I'm making too big of a deal here, maybe not big enough. All that I know, is that all I can do for him now is to be patient, a little nosy, and open to what he was going to tell me. If I'm so calm, what's this fear in the pit of my stomach?
Remy's Story
There really isn't much to say, or to re-phrase, much that I can. This isn't meant to be insulting, or any indication that I don't trust you. It's just that there are some, incidents, which occurred that I should keep to myself, if only to keep you alive. Now wait, I never accused you of over-reacting and I would appreciate the same courtesy. I know you must think I'm some kind of empty-headed child with only one thing on his mind, and in some respects I suppose you're right. There usually is one thing that lays pretty heavily on my mind.
But at the risk of being hit, I shall move on from what is obviously a touchy subject for you. I'm sorry that I'm not quite as fluent as you would like me to be, but I've never done this before. Again, at the risk of being hit, this strikes me as a more girly thing to be doing.
However, it is only fair. I don't really know why you chose to open yourself and your life to me, but I can assure you, it stays with me. The same, of course, applies here. What I will tell you stays locked within that pretty little head of yours. My childhood. Well, what can I say? No glittering parties for Remy, no comfy little summer cottages on the seashore. But Remy thinks that what I had, at least eventually, is even better. You might have had a sister who loved you, I had the Guild.
I wasn't born into it. I'm not truly, if you put blood above all else, the son of Jean-Luc LeBeau. My parents, from what I can remember, were rather poor. We lived in the slums of New Orleans, dust and filth on the beauty of my native city. I don't really recall anything of importance about my father, only that he was never there. Not like yours, busy with charities and jetting the world, he just wasn't there. It was me and my mother. And that was all right.
My first and best memory of her is her hair. Long and golden, it made me think of taffy when it shone in the sunlight. I remember how she used to wear it down and loose because I so begged her to. It used to swing as she walked, she was like a princess in one of her bed-time stories. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, no offense p'tite. She died when Remy was seven.
She was just dead one morning. We shared a bed you see, an old mattress that my father must have stolen before he abandoned us. It consisted of one of the very few pieces of furniture that was cluttered within our little garret. We really didn't need much since we weren't used to having anything more. Truly, I never wished for electric toys or fancy things when I was with her. We would find our own games, even playing with the trash on the street.
And as I have already mentioned, dead, cold and still when I awoke next to her one morning. I didn't have that innocence that usually one associates with a child. I'd seen bodies before. God, men had been murdered before my eyes before, brutally killed in the alleys next to our building and thrown into dumpsters. We grew up learning to be excited at the prospect of a body in the trash. There were some who still had a little money on them. I was never really guiltless I suppose. So I wasn't at all confused when I saw how my mother lay still, her eyes unblinking and her chest still. I knew she was dead, and I knew what it was to be sad. But mostly, I was already afraid for myself. What would I do now that I no longer had my mother's protection? The only thing that I could think to do. Cover the body with a sheet and live in the garret until the landlord eventually kicked me out. I think I stayed there for two weeks.
So that's when Jean-Luc found me, cold and starving, picking pockets and stealing food from the trash. He never did explain to me what he was doing in that part of town on that day, but I can assure you that it probably wasn't some charitable event. Actually, my foster-father resembles your own father in a few ways. Jean-Luc was respected, powerful, and rich. Very rich. However, he didn't make his fortune playing the stocks at Wall Street. He had his own kind of enterprise. He was a crime lord, and not just any. He was the leader of what is known in my part of the world as the Thieves Guild.
What is the guild you ask? For your own safety I will not answer that, and it does not truly matter. It simply needs to be said that they were the best of the best, they were criminals and they were my family. They raised me for reasons I will never understand, and they will always have my loyalty, even though I can never return to them.
" The Thieves Guild?", Rielle asked me incredulously, her eyes sceptical.
"You don't believe Remy, chère?", I asked her, smiling.
She played with the ends of her hair, and I felt a surge of amusement that I had surprised her so. What had she been expecting? She had confessed to me that she had all but murdered her sister. Did she think I was going to pale in comparison? The shock on her face was delicious, especially the way she tried to hide it from me. The mental shields, or lack there of, that this girl possessed was appalling. I could all but read her mind, my empathic power picking up her every feeling and tremor. I could help her with that.
"It's not that I don't believe you Remy", she said finally. "It's just... I don't know. I didn't think there was so much you had inside you."
"Den keep listenin'. Remy be far from finished."
I took a breath, pausing to collect my thoughts, before launching into my story once more.
The time I spent with the Guild has given me some of the best memories that I have. They were my family, Rielle, my life. They trained me up and taught me the noble art of theft. Don't hide your smile behind your hand, I know you laugh. You may think that thieves are but greedy, evil and too stupid to live honestly, and you're right on one account. We are greedy. And honestly, what is "evil". No, don't speak. Think about it, really. Does an evil man take in a homeless child? Feed and clothe him and ask for nothing in return? Wouldn't it be more evil for a parent to abuse a child? Even then, evil comes in many degrees. Truly I tell you know that there is no genuine good. We are all evil, selfish and self-centered. Believe me I know! I've seen it! I've seen men killed and women beaten and raped for no apparent reason. But there always is one you know.
People just like hurting other people. Even Jean-Luc, he wasn't a saint. But he was the only father I have ever known, and I owe everything to that man. I have always felt so, Rielle. Ever since he saved my life when I was a small child, I had been waiting anxiously for a chance to repay them, to repay him. So when it was arranged that I marry Bella Donna Bordreaux I didn't hesitate. I agreed to it, if only to please my adopted family. You see Bella was the grand daughter of the leader of the Assassins Guild. You laugh again but I don't see why. You told me you wanted to hear my story so I'm telling it. This isn't fabrication chère, and convincing yourself otherwise could be hazardous to your health. The two Guilds, the Thieves and the Assassins had been at war with each other for years, decades. I was never told how it began. Honestly, I do not think anyone truly remembered why. And by arranging a marriage between Bella and I, we were contracting peace between the families. No more death, no more blood shed. It could all stop. Who was I to stand in the way of that? I was, I believe, 18 years old. There was only one problem; Bella Donna's bother, Julien.
Well, he was opposed to the marriage from the beginning. He was completely against the reuniting against the two families, it would taint his family's honour, he said. He was a stupid man, which can often be dangerous Rielle, remember that. But anyway, he confronted me on the night before I was to be wed to his sister. Like in your own tale, it was at that most critical moment that my own powers decided to manifest.
So as I have said, the bastard confronted me and I injured him. I had no idea what was happening to me or how to control the power my body was producing. Julien was seriously injured, the Assassins would want me dead and the war would be once more full-fledged and deadly. So I did the only thing that I could think of to do. I thought the only way to save my family and my Guild was to leave them all, permanently. And that's exactly what I did.
"That's when you came here, right?", Rielle asked me, any signs of a smile erased from her face.
"That's when I came here, oui. Remy never did understand why Xavier take him in, but he did", I said, my eyes traveling over the room. It was too hard to talk with her looking directly at me. She intimidated me, but hell would freeze over before I dared admit that.
"Yeah, he has a habit of taking in strays, doesn't he?", Rielle's question brought a smile to my lips.
"It seems so p'tite", I said. " And it was de second time dat Remy be taken in like dat."
"So..." Rielle seemed uncertain how to phrase her thoughts. It made me nervous. "Is that when you first met Rogue."
I swallowed a breath and looked at her. God, she just went in for the kill didn't she? I nodded, answering her question.
"Dat's when I met Rogue".
The Institute was all I had never known. Of course I had known luxury and comfort, Jean-Luc's mansion had been a palace. I just wasn't prepared for the sudden appearance of rules that came with living here. I was no stranger to regulations and laws, but they had never before included a ban on smoking in the house, no alcohol in front of the students, no brining girls back. God, I was not prepared to live in a home full of kids! Charles made it very clear that as long as I was staying here with kids running underfoot that I'd have to act responsibly, you know? Be a kind of role model these kids could look up to. What was I supposed to think? I had never had to behave on the account of a child before, not that I ever really misbehaved... Alright, now you can laugh. But seriously, I had no idea which way to turn. That's why I hit it off with Rogue right away, she understood where I was coming from.
Sure she didn't come from my kind of background but she knew what hard times were. Most of these kids had faced disgusted parents or confrontations with old friends, you know, problems thanks to their mutations but nothing that would seriously scar them. I don't know if you know Rogue's story, but she definitely had it harder. You know that she can't touch, but do you know that she put her old boyfriend in the hospital for kissin' him? I didn't think so.
Well, she was from the South too so we found excuses to hang out together. We really did have a lot in common, but we were very different at the same time. We fought like crazy. Serious, hateful fights where I would get pissed and walk away, leaving her crying. We were just so passionate, and making up was always worth the fighting. We really loved each other, well, I know I did. I don't really understand why she one day decided she couldn't love me back. But that's it, isn't it? That was the whole point behind your little charade to get me to talk. You want to know what the hell's going on between the two of us. Well, I can't say that your dense, but I suppose it would be hard to miss the obvious friction between us. I probably shouldn't have come back, especially since she asked me to leave in the first place.
You didn't know that, did you? You probably thought you had me pegged right? Remy the playboy, the womanizer, who charms his way into a bed and leaved its occupants in his wake. We're not all like that guy that hurt you Rielle, not all men can be that cold. I didn't leave because I wanted to. I left because she told me to.
You see, before I came to the Institute for the first time, Rogue was with Bobby. They'd been together for a little while, actually, so when Rogue and I were getting along so well, it caused some, ah, problems with the others. It didn't help when Rogue left Bobby for me, I can tell you that. But I honestly didn't care. I had Rogue, a home and a new life. I had love.
As I've mentioned, we had a kind of rocky relationship, but we always ended up on top. Rogue can't touch, you know that, but that never stopped us from getting close. You'd be amazed at the many uses a handkerchief and a sheet can have... But I can see you're a little uncomfortable, right? Don't lie, I can see you blushing. Let's just say keeping our hands off each other was definitely one of our bigger dilemmas.
I don't really know when she got upset, but I have an idea. It was late one night, and we had been watching a movie alone in the main rec-room. Well, we weren't really watching the movie, if you catch my drift. We were getting a little heavy I suppose, and I must have jostled it somehow because the cloth between our pressed faces fell away. I stopped for a breath and it must have fallen. I didn't even notice. I think she tried to stop me, but I didn't want to. I didn't register what could happen. All I knew was that I wanted to kiss her. So I did.
It didn't take long for her powers to kick in. I felt it pulling at my skin, draining me, I could also feel Rogue trying despertly to push me away. But I wouldn't let her. I don't really know why I didn't stop. Maybe I was just tired of not being able to touch her and I was willing to risk whatever to be able to kiss her like I wanted to. The last thing I remember is hearing her cry softly before I passed out.
I guess I was out for a few hours and they sent me to the med lab. I was fine, just a few cuts on my skin from Rogue's power pulling at me. I was just fine ,but Rogue was scared. Really scared. She blamed herself for what happened. She told me that she wouldn't hurt me anymore, that she loved me too much. I had no idea what she was talking about. I'd never been left before. She just stood there in my room, her tears flowing down her pale face as she asked me to leave. To leave the Institute and leave her. She claimed that she wouldn't allow herself to hurt me anymore. So naturally I was pissed, more so than I'd ever been. I did the only thing I could think of. I did as she asked, and I left.
"She still loves you then", Rielle whispered to me after a moment.
"She doesn't know who she loves", I" explained finally realizing it for myself. It was true, she loved me in her own way , but she loved Bobby too. Loved Bobby more. I was just some distraction that had blown her world apart. She had been happy before me, she just couldn't remember that now.
"Remy, she's in love with you", Rielle pressed, "It's so obvious. That's why she gets so upset when she sees you, why Bobby's so threatened. He know it too."
"Remy loves her too", I said, shuffling the cards in my hands. " At least, it feels like love."
Rielle looked at me for a moment, I could feel her eyes on me. Wonderful, now I would have to hold hands with her and cry about my feelings. Not something I was interested in doing. So when she suddenly took the cards out of my hands, I looked at her in surprise. Her violet eyes weren't full of pity, but understanding. She took my hands in her own, her fingers trembling a little as she held on to me. Her skin felt cold and her hand felt so frail. How could such gentle hands control such a brutal power?
" I felt like I loved him too Remy", she whispered so softly to me that I had to lean in to hear better. "But that's just it, I didn't know what that kind of love is. So when there was someone who helped me, someone so beautiful that I felt privileged to be with him, I felt like I had to love him. Not an obligation, but as if this was the kind of person who deserved my love. He had helped me and told me he loved me. What else did I need?"
I stroked her fingers with my thumb slowly, contemplating her words. They made sense of course. It just made me mad that she could find reason in something that was abstract, that couldn't be solved. But maybe that was my problem. Maybe I had been trying all along to prove how I loved Rogue, because I wasn't sure of it myself. Of course I would be with her again, of course I wanted her that way again, but maybe that wasn't enough. Maybe there really was more to it than that.
"Remy?", her smooth voice whispered to me. "Remy...?"
I looked at her, really looked. How could I have missed it? That emotion in her eyes that betrayed everything. She was just like me. She had loved without loving, trying to explain something she had never understood herself. And she was just there, right in front of me. How had I missed her there before? She'd been there forever. She was suddenly ageless to me, and suddenly, what had happened didn't matter. It didn't matter that on some level I wanted Rogue and that on some level she still needed the boy who had used her.
"Remy?"
Maybe we really could help each other after all. Maybe, we would be the ones to find each other, something we had been unable to do alone.
"Remy, I..."
My lips on hers cut off her words, and my fingers let go of her hand and came up slowly to brush her hair behind her ears. She tasted like honey, her lips smooth as velvet and as deep as her eyes. I needed to breathe.
" I think I've figured out how we can help one another", I told her, my lips centimeters from her own. But I couldn't finish, for it was impossible to speak as she pressed herself to me, kissing me gently. My hands were suddenly tangled in her hair as she held me to her. We broke apart, a identical smile lit upon our faces. Yes, how true it was that I could help her, teach her. But how real it was that she was going to teach me too.
Author's note: Hee hee, here we go! Keep reviewing, I'll keep writing!