Masquerade & Disguise

Part Six

Grissom resisted the insane urge to twiddle his thumbs as he sat there, pondering the words he would soon say to resolve things. He couldn't handle the silence, but at the same time he was desperate to maintain it. What could he possibly say to her? He tried to figure out what it was that he'd want to hear if their roles were reversed. He tried to construct the sentences in his mind, ready to be spoken aloud, but his efforts were pointless. He wasn't good with this sort of thing, he never was. And yet he felt that she expected it of him, that she expected him to be able to say the things she wanted, or needed to hear, and everything would work out fine. If only things were that simple. He stole another glance at her. It seemed that her anger had all but melted away, though she now seemed to be growing impatient. He cleared his throat. This was it.

"Sara...I didn't come here to apologize..." He began, and immediately knew that he'd gotten off on the wrong foot. She narrowed her gaze, practically shot daggers at him, and he knew he needed to explain himself further. "I'm not just here to apologize...deep down I know that I'm not sorry for what I did at that ball." He paused and watched her reaction to his words before he continued on.

"I'd planned it. I've always felt that there is something between us. I needed to see whether there was still something there, even when you were oblivious to my identity. I just needed to make sure...to prove to myself...I know now..." He trailed off. He realized just how selfish his actions were beginning to sound.

Sara nodded slowly. She already knew this, she'd come to that conclusion almost immediately after she'd seen his face that night. But she didn't say anything; she remained silent as he continued to fumble through his sentences. She had to admit that the intense anger and frustration she'd felt mere minutes earlier had all but vanished as she listened to him. She knew how hard it must be for him to say these things, and she appreciated it. Grissom stopped. He felt as though he'd been speaking for hours when really it'd only been a few minutes.

"I'm not sorry for kissing you. I'm not sorry for that at all...But I am sorry, about the trip home." He managed to say, thinking it would be a lot harder to apologize. "I just didn't want it to be like that, under those circumstances. I thought you were just getting me back for what happened on the balcony." He said as he looked down at his feet. He really did feel guilty for not letting things go further, but at the same time he was glad that nothing had happened. It wasn't how he'd imagined it.

She smiled; she really was only trying to get some revenge, although it had hurt her more than it had hurt him. She wanted to apologize for that too, but she continued to remain silent, giving him more time to say whatever was left on his mind. He'd said so much to her in so little words, and the expressions on his face had told her even more. She'd heard what she felt she'd needed to hear, and yet there was something else she was waiting for...Something else she needed to hear him say to make it real for her.

Grissom realized that they'd fallen into silence again. Now that they both knew of each other's interest, and of the strength of the attraction between them, he wondered ifthings would be different between them now...and whether or not they were in a relationship now. He wanted to ask her, to find out where they stood now. But he still had more to say, he just wasn't sure if Sara was prepared to hear it. Instead he decided to lead up to what he needed to say.Grissom rambled on about his feelings for her in the only way he knew how; through odd stories and recollections of cases, and moments in the lab that had meant more to him than what they would if they were simply just friends. He managed to find himself in a comfortable mood now, and it seemed Sara was now more relaxed as well.

They were in a silence once again. Sara couldn't help but notice how much her mood had changed, how much of a difference there was in her mood, and how happy she felt knowing that he felt it too. All the moments she'd considered to be meaningful hadn't been figments of her imagination. Those small, yet simple gestures, exchanges, conversations, everything she'd remembered meant something to Grissom as well. He watched her, wondering what it was she was thinking. He was amazed that he'd been able to say so much to her, and that she hadn't thrown him out. He was still there, and he still had one last thing to say to her.

Sara's attention was drawn back to Grissom as he shifted his weight on the couch and cleared his throat. She suddenly began to panic. What she'd been waiting to hear for so long was probably going to be said to her in seconds, and she realized that she wasn't ready to hear it. She abruptly stood, disrupting Grissom's line of thought and effectively preventing him from saying anything further.

"Do you want something to drink? I'm should've offered you something earlier..." She trailed off as she quickly headed to the kitchen with Grissom close behind.

"No, thank you." He replied as he watched her collect two glasses from the cupboard.

"I sure could..." Sara thought as she eyed the bottle of tequila, but decided to go with water instead. She filled the glass and gulped it down before reaching to fill it once again.

Grissom frowned, wondering what exactly had gotten into her. He put his hand in the way of the tap, and held her hand in his as he turned her around. He'd finally composed himself and found the most perfect words he could muster. He'd waited years for this, and he needed to say it now. Before he could even breathe a word she'd moved closer to him, and it was his turn to panic. She slipped her arm around his neck as she pulled him into a kiss. Moments later they were both breathing hard and gasping for air after finally parting. He tried to gather his thoughts once more but she kissed him again, this time harder, forcing him up against the sink. All thoughts of a simple conversation left both their minds as they soon found themselves heading towards her bedroom, leaving a trail of discarded thoughts and clothing behind them.

Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, and to all 21 of you who have this on alert. It's the most interest I've had in a fic, y'all are rad. I really didn't know where to go with it, it's freakin hard to write for Grissom when he's never said anything remotely like this to Sara. The shortest chapter so far, and it isn't the greatest I've ever done. It would've been longer but I rushed it, I'm not sure I'll be able to get online next. Let me know what y'all though and if you'd like me to continue. Thanks again to everyone who has read and reviewed/ Britt