It was almost lunch time and Christina was starving. Usually Burke was in some kind of surgery, so she ate lunch with Meredith, George, and Izzy, but today, he came right up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.
She spun around almost spilling her iced tea all down her shirt.
"Burke, oh hi."
"Hi Christina. I was wondering if I could possibly sit with you today at lunch," he said while staring into her eyes. God, it made her go weak in the knees just looking into his eyes.
"Um. Well, what I mean to say is.sure," she finally spit out and then smiled. Burke smiled back and then followed her over to the table where Meredith, George, and Izzy were already sitting. They all looked up at Christina and then over to Burke, and then over at Christina again with questioning eyes.
"Hey, Doctor Burke," Izzy greeted him while moving her tray over a bit to make room.
"Hello, Doctor Stevens," Burke said all formally and then sat down, while Christina rolled her eyes. There was just no escaping.
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Meredith was trying to hold her tongue about some of her thoughts while Burke was sitting at the table. She had really wanted to talk to Christina about Derek.okay, so maybe not, but still Burke was invading their space.
Burke got up right after finishing eating. "I have to be leaving now. See you all later. Bye Christina." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and then left with his tray in his hands.
"Oh my God," Christina said while slumping into her chair. "That was so freaking awkward."
"Tell me about it," Izzy said.
"What was he doing here?" Meredith asked cutting straight to the chase.
"Hell if I know," Christina said while stuffing some of her roll into her mouth and then chewing vigorously. She had barely eaten anything while Burke had been sitting beside her, but now she was stuffing things into her face.
"Slow down Christina," George advised, but she just gave him a mean stare and kept at it.
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"So I take it you haven't told him yet?" Meredith asked Christina later while they put away their trays.
Christina just shot her a look which said to drop it, and she did.
"And you? Have you gotten a chance to tell McDreamy?"
"No," Meredith said soundly suddenly really sad.
Christina just ignored it and pushed the up button on the elevator, then took out her pager. "I gotta run. One of my patients keeps throwing up, and then temp can only handle so much."
"Oh, have fun with that." Christina shot her another look while stepping onto the elevator. Meredith waited for the next one to come. Her break could last a couple minutes longer.
After a minute or so, the elevator stopped and she got on. Derek was there cowering in the corner typing away on his blackberry. Meredith instantly blushed and coughed while she got on.
"Hi," he said, his eyes lighting up instantly.
"Hey. So how's the dog?"
"Fine. You know Addison is complaining, but I won't let her hurt him. He's a good boy. We went walking yesterday around the property. Maybe you should come and visit him sometime."
Meredith knew she would like that, but it would be torture for her if she knew she couldn't have Derek back for good. Just seeing him everyday for work was bad enough; hanging out with him in her spare time too would be overwhelming.
"Um," was she could manage, before the doors opened up to reveal Addison waiting to get on.
"Hello Meredith," she said half coldly, half warmly.
"Hi Doctor Shepard," Meredith said trying to get her blushing under control. She hadn't been doing anything wrong, so why was she acting like she had just been caught making out behind her middle school with her crush of the week?
Silence rung through the elevator.
Finally it ended when the doors binged and Meredith got out. She breathed in and then walked off, knowing that both Addison and Derek were watching her.
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"Hi, Mrs. Ackerman. I'm Doctor Shepard, head of neurosurgery, here at Grace. I see you have had an ongoing migraine for almost three weeks, and nothing seems to work, is that correct?"
The woman nodded while her husband clutched her hand nervously.
"Okay, well I tell you what I'm going to do. I think we need to take an MRI of the brain, and then well see if there is anything disrupting your temporal lobe."
She nodded again and Derek handed her the paper work to be filled out. He waited, because there were no nurses available to take and file it. Finally, Mrs. Ackerman was done, and Derek paged Meredith to have her come up and take Mrs. Ackerman to the MRI room and then page him when the results came back.
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The Chief sat in his office with his head in his hands. He had a raging head ache and the constant reminder of the petition going on outside was no help either. His wife had called several times to make sure if he was okay or not, and all of the times he had been short with her, but she was used to it by now. However, that was no excuse.
There was a knock on the door. "Excuse me, Chief?" Izzy stepped into the office and was greeted by a tired looking Chief. "Oh, I'm sorry. Am I interrupting anything?"
"What would you be interrupting Doctor Stevens?"
She was silent. "No, you are fine. What can I do for you?"
"Well, Doctor Shepard came to me about the conjoined twins C-section surgery, and she wanted to know if I wanted in. I told her I wanted to check with you first to see if that was okay."
"And why would you do that?"
"Because I thought it would be the right thing to do; to make sure you were kept to your all knowing status. I haven't seen you around the surgery scheduling board all day, and I was beginning to worry." The Chief noticed the concern in her eyes and was comforted.
"Thank you Doctor Stevens. I appreciate that. And yes you may assist Doctor Shepard."
"Thank you, Chief." Izzy left as quietly and as quickly as she could and went to go check on Amanda.
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George saw Meredith from a mile away. She still looked tired and weary, but still in his eyes beautiful
"Hey Meredith, wait up," he yelled as she basically cantered down the hallway. This was it, he was going to tell her how he felt. Finally.
"Hey George," she said while putting a hand to her head and clenching her eyes up as if she had a headache. Was it just the sight of him that made her get a headache? Or was it something else? McDreamy?
"Are you okay? Do you want an aspirin?"
"I've already taken quiet a lot. I think I'll be fine in a minute or two. Just give me time."
"Okay. Do you want to maybe catch a nap or just lie down and rest? I can cover your shift for about an hour if you like."
"Nah, I'll be fine, George," she said. He loved the way she said his name, however, this time it was like as if she was annoyed.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," she semi-snapped and walked away still clutching her head. George watched her walk away and frowned.
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Christina was trying to focus on her rounds, but her thoughts always came back to her lies. They were haunting her. Goddamnit.
She finished checking up on everyone and then went to find Burke, to see if she could get it out before she lost the nerve.
Christina finally found him sipping some coffee and milling around the surgery board. She just about lost her head when his gaze turned to her. Gosh, she was beginning to feel like a little school girl, and she hated it, but loved it at the same time. This was weird.
"Hey," she said while walking over and standing right next to him.
"Hello," he said and offered a sip of his coffee to her. Christina took it gratefully, she would need all the help she could get to get through telling the truth.
"Burke, there's something I need to tell you. It's kind of important."
"Okay."
"Well." Suddenly Burke's pager went off and he looked down at it with a furrowed brow.
"I'm sorry Christina, I have to go. We'll talk about this later, okay?"
He ran off not waiting for her answer. Christina just watched him. Her time had come and passed. "Okay," she whispered.
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Izzy walked into Amanda's room and saw her reading some teen magazine.
"Hi, Doctor Izzy," she said with a smile on her face.
Izzy wanted to smile back, but she had just gotten the results from the blood test they had taken right after lunch. Amanda had been druged with GHB and then raped. This was going to take some time to get out.
"Is everything okay?" Amanda asked while setting down the magazine and looking into Izzy's eyes.
Izzy wanted to tell her, but the truth was just so hard to hear. She needed Alex to be here with her when she told Amanda. It was just something she had to do.
"I'll be right back, Amanda, I forgot something."
Izzy rushed out of the room and searched for Alex. He was easily found in one of the break rooms trying to get some coffee.
"Alex. I need you." Izzy whispered gruffly. He looked over at her with his eyebrows raised high.
"Not like that, you egotistical-"
"Sshh," he said while putting a finger to her lips. "Don't say anything you might regret afterwards." They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, and then he put down his finger and Izzy could breathe again.
"I need you to help me tell Amanda that she was drugged with GHB and raped. Can you come with me?"
Disgust ran across Alex's face and he said, "Sure" without even waiting for his cup of coffee to finish brewing.
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Meredith got done taking Mrs. Ackerman to the MRI room and had wheeled her back. She was mentally and physically exhausted. Had working at the hospital always been this hard, or had the past week just accumulated because of her constant thoughts of Derek. She had to page him now and then wait for him and then see him. God, why did she feel like she had to tell him how she felt?
After about ten minutes, Derek came in with the results in his hands. "Hello Mrs. Ackerman, Mr. Ackerman, Doctor Grey." He glanced at Meredith and something passed between them, but Meredith couldn't put her finger on it. It was something. Derek turned to Mrs. Ackerman and said, "I have your results, and it's a cystic tumor on the temporal lobe of your brain. We'll need to get you into surgery as soon as we can. And from there everything will be fine. You'll need to put on radiation, just in case some of the tumor tissue or even cells are left over. You can never be to safe." Derek smiled at them and handed them the paperwork to approve the surgery. "Meredith, can you come with me to schedule the surgery for as soon as possible?" Meredith nodded and walked out of the room with Derek.
"So how is your day going so far? You look like you have a headache? Are you okay?" Derek looked over at her with concern in his eyes.
She didn't want to worry him, so she lied, again, "I'm fine. Just took some aspirin."
"Are they working?" He joked with a glint in his eye as they stepped onto the elevator.
"Yes," Meredith lied again. God, it was becoming so easy; even if it was just a little white lie.
"Okay, so do you want in on the surgery?"
"Um, sure," she said half-heartedly, but Derek just nodded and walked off with hid blackberry in his hands.
Meredith watched him walk away from her, just like all the other times. It was like she was doomed to be disappointed and lie about it for the rest of her life. She was a hopeless mess.
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"So I heard about you thinking that you're finally going to tell Meredith how you feel about her O'Malley." Christina said while shaking her head at George and his silliness.
"Hey, I will, just give me some time, okay? God, why does everything think I'm not going to go through with it?"
"Because we know you," Christina said while taking a sip of her coffee and trying to figure out if she was really going to tell Burke about her not officially moved in or not. Maybe she would chicken out and George would go though with it. Oh dear Lord, she couldn't let that happen. No, she was going to tel Burke, and he would understand. She just needed time, like George.
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"I've been what?"
"Raped," Izzy said softly trying to make this less difficult than it really was.
"And drugged," Alex added and Izzy shot him a look. He was really being helpful and gentle, not his usual self.
There were tears in Amanda's eyes and she looked ass if she had just seen a ghost.
"But, but, but Mike would never do anything like that to me. We love each other. He would never hurt me, or rape me. We haven't even had sex yet! We're waiting for each other."
"Well it seems as if he jumped on the band-wagon early."
She began to shake and Izzy got her some tissues. "I'm sorry, but we need to contact the police and get them involved."
"W-wait!" Izzy and Alex looked at Amanda expectantly. "Am I pr-pre-pregnant?"
"Um, we don't know yet," Izzy said gently. "You'll need to wait a little bit."
Alex's pager went off and he checked it. "The police are here to question you," he said to Amanda.
"Would you like me to wait with you?" Izzy asked her and she nodded slowly while the tears poured down her cheeks. "I'll just be right back. I have to talk to Doctor Alex for minute."
Izzy and Alex got out of Amanda's room, and Izzy looked at Alex. "Are you going to be okay?" He asked her while putting a hand on her shoulder.
"I think I'll be okay. I mean, I just feel so bad for her. I can really empathize what she's going through."
"You can?" Alex asked in surprise.
Realizing what she had said, Izzy searched frantically for something to say. "No, I meant sympathize. I haven't been through that before. Jeez, that would suck though." The lie felt like ash on Izzy's lips and she hated it. She hated the feeling that would wash over her the minute Alex walked away thinking God knows what. Alex looked at her with questioning eyes.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay?"
"Yes." He nodded and walked off, and Izzy had been right, she felt like shit lying to someone she cared about, but the truth was so hard to say aloud.
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Addison was trying to make some sense of her husband when he walked right through the door to the break room. She smiled up at him, despite her previous thoughts.
"Hi," he said a little coldly, but locked the door, which to Addison was a good sign.
"Hey. How's your day been so far?"
"Fine," Derek said while coming over to the bed, which she was lying on and sat down next to her. Addison rubbed his back and he looked over at her. "I have a surgery in an hour."
"So do I," Derek said with a smile on his face.
"And?" Addison questioned, wanting him to yearn for her for once.
He didn't say anything, just leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "I'm sorry about the dog, but I'm doing this as a favor for Meredith. You understand don't you? And I'm sure we can get a pen for him outside or something. We can make a compromise."
"Good, I'm willing to compromise."
"Oh are you now?" He asked with a glint in his eye. It had been a long time since Derek had looked at her like that, but suddenly a wave of uneasiness washed over her and she felt sick. Derek noticed the sudden change in Addison's face, and asked her if she was okay.
She didn't say anything, but just shook her head and put a hand to her mouth. She looked as if she was going to throw up. Maybe she had come down with something from working too hard.
"Addison, I think you need to go to the bathroom." She nodded and then rushed out of the room, leaving Derek sitting on the bed wishing things had gone differently.
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Meredith was in the bathroom washing her hands, when Addison came running in, a hand clutched to her mouth as if she was holding back vomit. She rushed into a stall and a moment later, Meredith heard the sound of vomiting. She knew that sound well, since she had been drinking a lot and throwing up almost every night. Damn Derek.
"Addison, are you okay?" Meredith asked while opening the stall door to make sure she wasn't drowning or anything.
Addison moaned and then smoothed her hair back. Meredith was feeling almost sickly just looking at her. She looked so pathetic, yet fragile, as if she were at the end of her rope. Meredith, instead of feeling triumphant, felt horrible and tried to get Addison cleaned up.
She was a little out of sorts, but Addison realized that Meredith was trying to help her, and for that she was grateful.
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After getting some food into her stomach, Addison felt fine and was ready to jump into her surgery. Izzy was already there prepping, while only a handful of nurses were in the OR preparing. This was going to be a difficult surgery with only a handful of nurses. But Addison could pull it off.
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Derek was trying to concentrate, but something about Meredith was bugging him. She wasn't in a good mood; she was in pain, he could tell.
While they were washing their hands prepping for surgery, Derek asked her, "Are you sure you're feeling up to being in there with me for a while."
"Yes," Meredith lied. Actually, she felt like shit for wanting another woman's man; that and her headache was even worse now that she had smelled all that vomit when helping Addison.
"Okay," Derek said, not fully convinced, but willing to believe Meredith. "Let's go."
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