PART ONE:
"Yes, human," his face – his beautiful and tanned face – was filled with confusion. "Buffy, are you sure you're okay?"
"No, I don't think I am." I looked him over, stop it!
"You're not okay," his voice was filled with worry and he started to get up. I let out a yelp. "What is it?"
"I don't know who you are, don't get up when you're all naked." Please don't get up, "Is this a spell? Are you a demon pretending to be Angel? What the hell is going on!" I yelled angrily.
Angel sat on the bed, looking at me with a stunned face, "who are you?"
"What?"
"You're obviously not Buffy, not my Buffy anyway-"
"I am so Buffy, but I'm definitely not yours, you broke up with me remember?" I shot bitterly at him.
"What the hell are you talking about? I've never broken up with you, we've been going out for over two years. Our first date was that Halloween you turned into a noblewoman; well it wasn't really a date I was trying to keep you from getting killed. But it was you who blew off the coffee date."
My mouth dropped, Angel just babbled. He babbled! He normally says a few words that sometimes make it into a few sentences and that is that.
"Wait, you said we've been going out for over two years, is that two years straight?"
"Yes," he said slowly.
"I never killed you?" I asked softly, keeping back the tears that have always threatened when I thought about it.
"God, no!" Laughed Angel, "of course you've never done that."
But then that would mean… "Oh, crap." I sighed, "I don't think I'm in Kansas anymore."
"Wizard of Oz reference, right?"
"Yeah, have you-?"
"You made me watch it last Christmas when you found out I'd never seen it before. Buffy," he said, looking into my eyes. I wish he would look away. "What's going on? How come you don't know what's happened to us?"
"I know what happened to us, or more correctly me and my Angel." Not your Angel, not anymore. "I don't think you're lying about being human or about things that have happened to you and your Buffy. But you have to believe me when I tell you I'm not from here. This isn't my world."
He stared at me for a moment, "are we together in y-your world?"
"You believe me?"
"I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt, plus I can always tell when you're lying."
"We're not together, haven't been for…so long. It feels that long; it's only been eight months."
"Okay, in that chest of drawers, is your – I mean, Buffy's clothes. There's also some hanging space in the wardrobe."
It then occurred to me where I was, it's the mansion, but it didn't look much like it. There was a lot of furniture in the bedroom. Angel's room is so homey. I felt another tear outbreak, but blinked them away.
"I'll turn my back," his voice breaking, choked up with his own emotions. Reflex wanted me to reach out and hold him in my arms. How did this happen? I don't remember, I was patrolling, talking to Willow and then I'm here. I looked at the drawer, she has drawers, and that made me smile. At least one Buffy in the universe can be happy.
(page break)
Angel drove me to a house I don't remember ever seeing, he said that we were going to see Giles, but he doesn't live here. Wrong world remember, he could live anywhere. Angel knocked on Giles' door hard and fast, all the while looking at me with that penetrating thing he does that makes me feel so exposed.
"Who is it?"
"Angel and, um, Buffy."
I heard the door open; Giles looked the same I decided once he opened the door. Nothing different about him, same face, hair, glasses and unfortunately, clothes.
"Could we-"
"Of course," Giles stepped out of the way, Angel walked in first. Giles' brow furrowed in confusion, "are you two fighting?" he asked me. I was taken aback and found that my voice didn't work.
"No, we're not fighting." Said Angel from inside the large and expansive house, it was two stories high and had a colonial feel about it. Columns and white wooden panelling. Typical Giles: surrounding himself with old things.
"Good to know, but even if you were, there's a first time for everything." He said smiling, still looking at me.
I found my voice, "why did you think we were fighting?"
"Well, because Angel-"
"I always let you go in first, to anywhere. Old eighteenth century manners." Angel explained.
"Oh." How romantic.
"Buffy, Angel. What's going on? Why did you have to explain to her what you do every single day?"
"She's not from here, Giles." Said Angel, looking heartbroken, as though he had lost her forever. "This isn't our Buffy, she's from a different world, one where we're not together."
"I see," Giles took off his glasses, cleaned them with his shirt and put them back on. "Buffy, you might want to come in."
I nodded and walked into Giles' house. It was beautiful, and spacious, but at the same time cozy. Giles lead us into what I supposed to be his study; it's basically a room full of books, cabinets and shelves, with a desk, chair and fireplace. But I was happy to find there was a nice comfy lounge to sit on, which I did.
"Now, Angel, would you like something to drink?" offered Giles.
"Already ahead of you there," said Angel, going through Giles' alcohol.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Giles, walking over and taking the bottle of scotch from Angel.
"Yes," Angel took the bottle back. "I think it's a great idea. If you hadn't noticed, Giles, that isn't Buffy! She's gone and right now I want to drown my sorrows."
"Well, I guess I can't stop you." Giles looked over at me, studied me for a moment then took the bottle that Angel was holding and grabbed two glasses; one for Angel and the other for himself. I gulp, this is so bizarre! Angel, I have never seen drink, Giles I have only seen drink, like, twice…but the two of them drinking together…
"Are you two finished?"
"Ah, yes. This should be interesting." Giles and Angel sat side by side on the sofa in front of me. I felt like they're going to interrogate me. "You can start now, if you're ready."
"Thanks for the permission," I looked down at my hands, "I don't know what's going on here, but wherever here is, I'm not meant to be here. Angel and I aren't together, you two practically can't stand being in the same room and Angel is most definitely not human. I didn't mean for this to happen, I don't know how this happened, but I do want to go home. Your Buffy should be here, not me."
"Why is your, um, world different?" asked Giles.
"How the hell am I supposed to know!" I got to my feet, "I go patrolling, Willow comes along for a chat and then I wake up here, I never went back to the dorm. I just don't remember."
Angel took the bottle of scotch, poured it into his cup and drunk it all. I stared bewildered.
"I don't know if it's just a 'me' thing, but I don't want to see you drinking, never have, never want to." I said like a possessive girlfriend, which I could have been in different circumstances. I half wanted to take the bottle from him and drink it myself, not that I'm a big or even small drinker. I pretty much swore off alcohol after that whole cave-girl thing. "Listen, how do I get home and you get your Buffy back?"
"I'll start research straight away, we'll call the others and they can help." He sat down his empty glass on the coffee table, "I need to know everything about your life, we need to know where it all changed."
I looked at Angel, his distraught face. His heart being broken by a girl who looks like his…
"I'm sorry, I don't know if I caused this, but I'm sorry anyway. You two are happy and now I'm here-"
"It's not your fault," said Giles.
"Maybe it is, maybe I did or said something that caused this. We need to fix it, I want to go home."
"Question," said Angel, swinging his glass around, Giles forced it from his hand. "If we're not together in your world, what do you have to go back to?"
"Angel, it's none of our business."
"It's okay, I don't really want to go back," I admitted. "We, I mean, you and her seem so happy, god, I remember when just seeing you made me so happy, so imagine how happy I would be if you were human and there was no curse stopping us." Again, tears. "But I don't want you to be unhappy, just the knowledge that somewhere Buffy and Angel are together, it's good, it's enough."
"I'll ring Willow, she can ring Xander. Angel, I want you to go upstairs and rest. I feel an outburst from you coming on."
I watched Giles lead Angel out of the room, I followed and watched as they went up the stairs, and that had to be the weirdest thing I had ever seen.
(page break)
Giles sat down in his chair with a notebook and a pen in his hands. I shifted uncomfortably; I didn't want to rehash my life, especially the parts with Angel.
"So, you should start at the beginning."
"The very beginning?"
"Yes, from when you were born. Buffy, we have to know the exact moment everything changed. Do you want to wait…?" he asked, leaving the question open.
I shook my head, "let's get this over with. I was born…"
And so it began, the story of my life.
(page break)
"I'm sorry," said Angel as I finished my story. I wiped the tears from my eyes; he left the doorway and stood next to Giles. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, really not your fault. Not anyone's."
"It was me turning human, wasn't it?"
"Yes," answered Giles, taking off his glasses. "That seems to be the moment of…the diverge. For this reality, anyway."
"Wow, it changed so much."
"Not necessarily, as Buffy explained, there is most probably a timeline where she never returned to Sunnydale after sending that Angel to hell, one where he never came back, one where the First succeeded in getting him to kill himself, one where-"
"I get it." Angel sat back down into the sofa. It took every bit of will power not to leap from the armchair and fling my arms around him. I'm not seeing an Angel I have technically never met, I am seeing Angel, the person, the soul and even though I'm with Riley, I haven't stopped loving Angel. I miss him everyday, it hurts everyday but I have to deal with it. But now that he's sitting right there – human – I've never felt so powerless.
"What happens now?" I asked. "What do I do?"
"I suspect," Giles looked at Angel, who was staring at the ceiling. "That it would be better if you didn't stay at your place-"
"Why not?"
"You, ah, live with Angel."
"What? I just thought I had some clothes at the mansion. We – I mean, they – live together?"
"Yeah, have since you graduated from high school," said Angel, still staring at nothing. "She moved in that night."
My heart filled with pain. It was the night he left me. Don't think about it.
"Oh, so where will I stay? With mom?"
"That might not be a good idea-"
"Why?" I asked interrupting Giles, worried as all hell. "She's okay, right?"
"She's fine," Giles goes on, "but it could be confusing for her, that's all. You can't stay with Willow and Cordelia, unless you want to sleep on the floor-"
"Sorry, did you say Willow and Cordelia, they live together?"
"Yes, at the dormitory at Sunnydale College. You were going to house there, but then you moved in with Angel…I mean, you didn't, the other Buffy did. I'm sorry, but-"
"It's okay, you can keep saying: 'you'."
"No, you can't!" cried Angel, "it's not her! You don't get to pretend this is your life just because yours seems so crappy!"
"Angel, I didn't-"
"Don't say my name like that! No one gets to say my name like she does! I want you to go away, you're not her. I don't love you, go away and leave me alone! Leave us, get out of this world. You don't belong here!"
"Angel, stop it!" I yelled; Giles made a move towards me. I got out of the armchair and ran out the front door and into a Sunnydale I knew nothing about.
(page break)
I was halfway down the street when I realised that Angel wasn't following, it broke my heart even more. This world is so…
I screamed and kicked a nearby letterbox; I cringed as the top falls to the ground in bits and pieces, and then continued walking. I felt bad, I should write them a note or something, but I had no money and couldn't pay for the damages. Guilt filled me and I took off running at top Slayer-speeds.
I ran, and ran…I couldn't stop. My body was telling me to rest and my muscles were aching. But I can't – I won't stop. Maybe I can run until I've ran into my own world, I don't want to be here anymore. I didn't do anything wrong, I don't remember!
I ran past houses, buildings, I ran on the streets, the footpaths, through parks and graveyards…I didn't stop until I couldn't go any further. Do you know what happens to a Slayer who can't go any further? It doesn't matter that she is the Vampire Slayer, the same thing happens to her that happens to normal, everyday people: she falls.