QuickNote: No, the title is not taken from Simple Plan's "Untitled" but I have to say that I felt that there's really no title that would really give this chapter an overview in a few simple words.
Instead of being blinded by the bright morning sun like she expected that wasn't the case when Peyton opened her sleepy hazel eyes, which were unusually watery and red. The open blinds depicted a dark and rainy scene, but on an ordinary day held a gorgeous view of a green park.
For some strange reason, Peyton felt bizarrely comfortable and safe this morning. She couldn't remember when she felt this secure and guarded since she was an innocent child immune to death or loss.
But the question was why. Why did she secretly feel this tangible emotion each time she was in Lucas's arms? She was over and done with him since their junior year of high school which felt like a millennium ago to her. It didn't hurt her to see him with her best friend on their senior year and he annoyed the crap out of her when he left the toilet seat up as if waiting for her to slip and fall in it. He was faulty! She couldn't handle faultiness because she was covered head to toe with it herself.
She couldn't deny one thing though, Lucas had experienced death just like she had; practically the exact same way as she had. Keith died when he ran a red light, so did her mom. He was running late to Lucas's toughest game he would ever play; her mom was running late to pick her up from school. Lucas took Keith's death like she had with her mom's passing, hard and broken.
Even though he carried himself differently since the fatal accident, even more broody and quiet, he still was able to make her laugh and feel needed. Lucas always contained that in his character even when he was down in the slumps as well. None of her past boyfriends were able to do that, not even Jake who had been the reason for her soberness. Lucas was incomprehensively different. He was more compassionate, understanding, and he knew the best ways to make her feel better.
Peyton unconsciously snuggled closer to Lucas. And then out of no where, a very extraordinary kind of curiosity hit her, what would it feel like to hold his hand? His arm was protectively wrapped around her waist as he slept very serenely and the temptation to intertwine her fingers with his was very awe-inspiring.
Her heart beat began to race as she cautiously moved her hand closer to his, as if she was undergoing a very meticulous experiment that could mean the end of the world. Finally, Peyton fingertips brushed his still, soft hand. Once she made contact with his hand it was like ecstasy and yet it felt sinful at the same time, which caused it to be even more enticing.
Lucas's hand was callous and soft at the same time. Basketball must've made it so coarse with all of the years he spent bouncing the ball. Peyton couldn't remember how his hands felt, sure she had held them before when they were secretly going-out, but she somehow forgot them. Now, as she intertwined her fingers with his she remember those old feelings being renewed and electrified inside her that she had closed away a few years back. It was like finding a treasure that you had lost a long time ago and being filled with joy and happiness when you stumble across it sometime later. But she couldn't feel that way, it was dangerous and errant.
Unknowingly, a small smile had spread across her lips and a fiery look in her eyes had appeared.
Suddenly, Lucas shifted slightly and Peyton hastily yanked her hand out of his. The quick movement must've made him curious since he shifted even more and peered down at his blushing roommate.
"Peyton?" Lucas asked sleepily, squinting a little in thought.
Peyton smiled awkwardly up at him, "Yeah, Luke?" She was hoping that she was playing the role of innocence well enough.
Lucas just laid back down and slowly took his arm off of her waist. "Ugh, nothing. Never mind, I just thought— well— never mind."
Peyton quietly thanked her lucky stars for Lucas skipping an inquiry. A few seconds later, she turned onto her back and looked directly up at the ceiling, but she could feel his piercing gaze on her, so she was fixed to not look over at him. Oddly enough, it didn't make her uncomfortable or squirmy like it did when anyone else did. She just guessed that it was because she had nothing to "hide" necessarily from Lucas; he knew every possible thing about her— more than Brooke even.
All of a sudden Lucas started to cough severely; Peyton could hear all of the phlegm being hacked up and it kind of made her nauseated.
"Are you all right there?" She asked as she finally looked at him.
He only nodded as he reached over her and picked up his throat spray off of his night stand. It seemed like he was avoiding eye contact when he was in the act of practically being on top of her to get it.
As he finally finished with this task, he started to spray the red liquid into his mouth. Peyton knew the feeling all too well, she had at least sprayed the same relief medicine into her mouth ten times since she got this crappy cold.
Lucas shivered slightly when he was done squirt the bitter remedy, which caused Peyton to laugh a little. She couldn't help being a little devilish when it came to Lucas's comfort.
He in turn smiled down at her, a sarcastic smile. "He, he- that made me laugh!" Lucas exclaimed in a girly voice obviously stereotyping her.
Peyton laughed even harder, which hurt a little since her congested chest revolted by the quick and exhausting movements. Because of this, she unconsciously placed her hand over her heart and sat up. Lucas, being the doll that he is, reached over her again, causing her to remain as still as a stuffed animal, and grabbed a green box and handed it to her.
"It's for your congestion build up in your chest," Lucas said pointing at the box, "it helped me a little."
Peyton smiled down at the box, "Thanks, I can sure use some clearing."
"What with your issues or your 'so called' perfect relationships gone miserably bad?" Lucas joked leaning back against his headboard. His eyes lit up playfully as he laughed at his own joke— which was totally lame in Peyton's book!
She chucked the green box at Lucas, "Funny, Mr. I-Think-I'm-Perfect-But-Really-I'm-A-Jackass-In-Disguise!" Peyton retorted with a sly smile on her face, royally enjoying his scandalized expression.
He placed his hand on his chest feigning pain where the box had hit him, "Ouch! I simply do not know how I will recover from such a hostile remark."
"What did I do? Shatter your ego?" Peyton asked playfully as she rolled onto her stomach and mischievously looked up at her best friend.
Lucas looked up in thought and then quickly down at her and simply whispered, "No."
Peyton pouted, "Aw too bad, and I was hoping you were going to start seeing a shrink."
He smiled down at her and then— out of no where— pounced on her.
Peyton let a very loud scream out as he tackled her causing her to roll off the and onto the floor, which in turn, he landed on her.
"Miss Sawyer," Lucas declared not getting off of her, "don't you know that you're my shrink?"
There was a mischievous twinkle in his eye but at the same time an intense, passionate gaze, too. Peyton was baffled by the mix between the two even though shrugged the evaluation off.
She laughed up at his goofy look that was now plastered across his face. But when the look had been removed, an awkward silence had fallen between the two. Since Lucas was on top of her, they both had a limit as to what to look at so their gazes had just stopped on one another, which was the source of the tension.
Peyton could feel his heart beat quicken and hers started to as well. Why was his heart racing? And moreover, why was hers escalating as well?
Soon Peyton felt scared. She didn't want their pure friendship to be dissipated once they took the next step, which was literally staring them in the face. Peyton needed this friendship for all kinds of support and care and if she didn't have it, Peyton couldn't possibly function correctly. And if it turned into a more risky relationship, like a romantic one, she could get burned in the end like she had last time. Oh, that memory was still fresh in her mind and heart.
Suddenly, Peyton felt a sneeze coming on and just as soon as she felt the tickle in her rosy nose, it burst forth.
The sneeze had amazingly broken the uncomfortable silence as well as the erupting buried emotions that scared the, excuse her French, shit out of her. Luckily, it dimmed the passionate look in Lucas's eyes and it caused him to become really embarrassed very quickly.
His face shined bright pink as he found his footing, "Oh, I'm sorry Peyt," Lucas said as he got up off of her, "I-I must've, ugh, blacked out there for a-a second."
Peyton smiled slightly and took a deep breath, "It's okay." She paused for a second just trying to control of the fears, emotions, and thoughts from overwhelming her.
By this time, Lucas had handed her his hand, but she chose to overlook that and got up on her own. And as soon as she was on her feet, she mumbled a quick "I gotta go— do something" and Peyton went into her room and closed the door quietly behind her.
She felt weak, and it wasn't because of the cold. Peyton was also feeling vulnerable even though she was in control of the situation. She was afraid of losing her closest and most loyal friend if they decided to go for it. There were too many risks, just too many! She didn't want to risk or taint their deep connection on something that could end terribly because of something so pitiful like what's for dinner or who holds the remote— for crying out loud!
No, Peyton wasn't going to risk it even though Lucas had always held her heart since their fateful junior year. Her emotions weren't going to confuse her to screw up yet again. She and Lucas were just going to be platonic friends and nothing more.
Peyton quickly walked over to her computer desk and picked up her sketch book and immediately started drawing the very baffling situation she was engaged in. She had drawn a fork in the road depicting all the negative aspects on the left road and all of the positive characteristics on the right road. Once she had seen the comparisons on paper, in plain view outside of her mind, she saw which one outweighed the other and she made up her mind.
"It's just too complicated and risky," she whispered to herself as she looked at the black charcoal drawing, "I won't do it."
Author's Notes:
Well, I'm baffled and amazed by the amount of reviews I received! I just want to say thank you so much for your support so early on and I hope this chapter lived up to your guys' expectations. If it didn't, then just yell at me or something and I'll improve for the next chapter, I promise.
Okay, well if you all wondering why Peyton is so protective of her friendship with Lucas is because he has always seem to be there for her in all aspects of her life ever since junior year when she pushed him away. He's always been there. Plus, she remembers how hurt she was when she found out that he quickly jumped to 'get some' so to speak with Nikki, a.k.a. Bar Slut. We all know that Peyton doesn't likely live and let live let alone believe what's done is done. She doesn't want to risk anything so important to her or when it's comfortably sitting in her life either. Hopefully that clears that up and if not, just ask me to elaborate more.
Well I just wanted to say thanks once again! I'm truly humbled by the feedback and I hope that you all won't be disappointed with this chapter. Hopefully, you didn't feel like I rushed anything yet!