Here I am with this bullet hole smile that will never heal, stitched together like some sort of demented ragdoll. I can't drink without a straw, and I certainly can't be looked at. Tyler warned me not to do it. The doctor was wrong. I was in pain, I would always be in pain, I am in pain. I needed some fucking meds and he wouldn't give them to me. So where am I now? Here I am in a pleasant white room with an equally hideous idiot, his jaundiced flesh sticking out like a black man attending a Klan meeting.
"I choke myself," he starts, and continues on forever. He talks about his journal, and he tells me that I am his new journal. "I had two beads stuck up my ass. That's why my skin is yellow."
See also: Impacted Colon
See also: Bowel blockage
See also: Cramping, fever, septic shock, heart faillure... jaundice.
"They caught up with me eventually. Me and Paige. The lunatics. She thought she was a future doctor or some bullshit like that, and I thought I was Jesus' reincarnation via sacred foreskin. I'm a sexoholic."
Jesus, this guy's nuts! Tyler says. I stab one of the ever-scabby stitches and he disappears.
I don't see why you feel this need to confess to me, Victor, I say. He stares at me like I'm crazy. You don't need to be so worried, Victor, I really am crazy. Just ask Tyler.
"Dude, I've got problems. Will you fucking listen to me? It's my turn to be crazy," he says. I understand. I understand with all of my little twisted heart. Suddenly I wonder where Marla is.
"You've always been crazy, 'dude.'" This is just another step towards enlightenment, I say. Keep falling until you reach the bottom of the bottomless pit, keep widening your bulleted rag-doll grin, keep kicking myself in the balls. Keep choking yourself, keep fucking the entire female population, get stoned by angry mobs, I don't care. We both will die in the end. It will not matter. Your mother does not matter.
No one cares.
No one cares except for you yourself. And that's because you are crazy. He scowls at me. He thinks he understands everything, but he understands nothing.
Where is Marla?
"Who?"
"Nevermind."