The Reason I Won't Be Coming
a/n: I do not own Gundam Wing. I do not own Coca-Cola, Jack Daniels, or Toyota. I do not own the tiny snippet of Bon Jovi's "I'll be there for you".
Chapter Three – Readiness
-Christmas Eve-
Duo stared at the mirror in front of him, perplexed. Why did something feel off? His long, shiny hair was clean and perfectly braided. His face was clean and clear. The small silver hoops he had bought were both in his elf-like ears. Heero was the first person to tell him he had elf-like ears, and Heero had been with him when he decided to pierce his ears.
"Duo, are you sure about this?" Heero asked his boyfriend with a slight frown.
"Why do you ask? I'm sure, but you seem kinda pissy about it," Duo met Heero's frown with one of his own. Heero looked at him gently, and then smiled.
"I want you to be happy. If this makes you happy, then do it," Heero shrugged as Duo looked longingly at the piercing studio. Duo bit his lip, then shrugged.
"Ah, why the hell not? It's not like I cannot take them out if I do not like them, right?" Duo grabbed Heero's hand as they stepped into the boutique.
Heero stood by while Duo pierced his ears. Heero had been annoyed by the metal appendages at first, but he grew to eventually accept them.
He wondered what Heero would think of the tattoos he had now, in conjunction with the pierced ears? The dark haired angel with blue eyes on his right shoulder blade, and the yin yang on his left bicep? He thought that maybe Heero would have liked those.
Duo blew his bangs out of his amethyst eyes and checked the rolled up cuffs of his red silk shirt. The shirt covered up a white cotton t-shirt made of simple cotton. His black slacks were relaxed, and covered the tops of his black leather boots, a recent splurge.
"You look fine, Duo," he told himself in the mirror. If he looked so fine, why did he not feel fine? Why was he filled with…what was that? Anticipation. That was the only way to describe it.
Duo twisted the small silver ring on his right ring finger. It was a simple band, but the inscription on the inside spoke volumes.
"'You are always right there in front of me – Heero'," Duo read the inside of the band. He and Heero had been dating for about six months.
"You were always right there in front of me, Duo. I never saw it, never realized it, but now I know. And you will always be right there in front of me," Heero said before kissing his boyfriend very thoroughly.
"How did I get so lucky?" Duo asked himself.
"How indeed," Duo muttered.
A leather motorcycle jacket hung on his desk chair. Duo pulled it on, and then placed his black helmet on his head. He grabbed the two gifts he had gotten for Quatre and Trowa, and then grabbed a bottle of good Bordeaux from his wine rack before taking off on his black motorcycle.
&&&
"We need to get back to our guests, Trowa!" Quatre gasped the name as Trowa took his earlobe into his mouth, suckling it softly. Quatre unconsciously tilted his head for better access. Then he remembered their mission and he pushed Trowa away, even though he was hard and panting. Trowa only looked mildly disappointed as he placed Quatre's santa hat back on his blonde head.
"Is it all ready?" Quatre asked.
"Yep. Open bar, which was expensive but well worth it. You keep a drink in Duo's hand, I keep one in Heero's. The guest bed is made, turned down, and there are spare pajamas on said bed. Every single detail is taken care of down to the aspirin and water pitcher next to the bed for hangovers. They are going to kill us, you know that right?" Trowa finally asked.
"In another year when they get married, they will be singing our praises," Quatre grinned.
&&&
Heero combed his fingers through his still-damp hair and blinked his deep blue eyes.
"They will kill me if I cancel now. No, I said I would go, and I am not going to back out," he sighed to himself. Looking in the mirror, he fingered the small necklace Duo had given him when they had been dating for about eight months. It was made of hemp, with small black beads and a tiny yin yang pendant.
"Two halves, making a whole. The dark and the light. See how each has the eye of the opposite? That is how they are joined, leaving a little of each other within the other. I leave you with a little bit of my darkness, and you leave me a little of your light. We are the two halves that make a whole. I do not know if I could live without you. I do know I do not want to find out if that is true or not. The dark cannot exist without the light, and the light cannot exist without the dark. I could not live without your light, Heero. Am I making any sense?" Duo fidgeted slightly.
"Perfect sense," Heero whispered as he hugged Duo tight to him.
Heero only took the necklace off to shower or swim. It was always with him, a reminder of his dark Duo. It now stood out against the moss green cable knit sweater he wore over a green and khaki checkered oxford shirt. The tails of the shirt hung out from below the sweater as the collar poked over the top. His nice khakis were not baggy, but relaxed. And his shoes were brown leather. It was not his nicest outfit, because he wore suits to work, but it would do nicely for a Christmas party.
Why does this feel like going in front of a firing squad? Why does this feel like a setup?
"Leave before you lose it, Heero," he told himself. He grabbed his wallet, keys, two presents, a bottle of Chardonnay, and his brown leather bomber jacket before closing the door and locking it.
&&&
"Hey, how are you?"
"Can I get you a refill?"
"Oh, I'm great! How are you?"
"No, I haven't seen him…"
"Here's my phone number!"
Quatre walked through his crowded living room, catching scant snippets of conversation as he glanced repeatedly at the door. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Trowa saunter over to him, holding a glass of spiked eggnog. Quatre tilted his head up for a sweet kiss, and then sighed.
"Don't worry, they will be here soon. Heero is almost always on time, but tonight he may have tried to talk himself out of coming and tried to find a way out of it. And Duo is always late, at least by forty five minutes. Did we get him a damned watch for Christmas?" Trowa smiled as he asked the question.
"Shush," Quatre put his hand out as the doorbell rang, "That is Duo"
Trowa walked over and opened the door. In strode Duo, windblown from his ride.
"You know, a car equals non-messy hair," Quatre reminded Duo as he enfolded him in a hug.
"Not nearly as fun though," Duo smiled a false smile as he shrugged out of his jacket and gave it to Trowa. Quatre hated those smiles that never reached Duo's eyes.
"Oh, hey!" Duo opened the door again, retrieving two packages and a bottle of wine, "Here ya go!"
"Thanks, Duo. I figure we will open presents in the morning," Quatre told him.
"What? I'm staying the night?" Duo asked.
"Open bar will make you too drunk to drive. Plus, I am making breakfast," Quatre dangled that carrot in front of Duo. Quatre could cook a mean breakfast.
"Oh, twist my arm why dontcha?" Duo joked.
Quatre led Duo to the bar, "Still a Jack and Coke kind of guy?"
"Yeah," Duo answered. The bartender mixed the drink and served it on the bar.
Quatre and Trowa were depending on alcohol and familiarity to do most of the work for them. Convince the two to be at least civil, then proceed to get them so drunk they do not care where they crash. Their shock and distress from being around each other again would insure that they would want to drink too. Then, put them in the soft pajamas and tuck them into the same bed. Then, lock the door from the outside. They hoped that the cloudiness of the hangover and the familiarity (along with the obvious needing and wanting) would do the rest of the work for them. They were going to be mad, but both Quatre and Trowa thought the ends justified the means. They were just sick of the sadness and loneliness their two best friends were obviously feeling.
"Hey Duo? Want a shot?" Quatre asked. The bartender was under strict instructions to give Quatre and Trowa iced tea when they asked for a shot.
"Yeah, sure. Why not?" Duo wave his hand in the air loftily, "The things you will do for your friends!"
&&&
"I know you know we've had some good times, now they have their own hiding place. Well I can promise you tomorrow, but I can't buy back yesterday," Heero sung softly with the radio, since he really wanted to keep his mind off the task at hand. He turned onto Lombard, and watched for the turn that would take him to the garage near Quatre and Trowa's. It was a guest garage, and you needed a code to get in. He leaned over and entered the memorized code. The gate opened, and Heero drove his Toyota in.
As always, it was a foggy night, making the alleys seem like they were full of supernatural shadows. The air was moist in a way only a bay town could be. Heero would have kept his hands in the pockets of his khakis, fingering both a small pocketknife and a can of pepper spray, but the presents and wine prevented that. You could never be too careful. As he walked, he checked around himself constantly. He still was wary, even though he had walked this street again and again.
As he approached the townhouse, he could see Trowa standing on a balcony. He waved at the taller man, and Trowa returned the wave before darting inside.
"Hmm," Heero made the universal noise of curiousity and walked up the short stairs to the front door. He rang the doorbell and waited for an answer.
&&&
"Hey Duo! Do you want to see the new bedroom furniture Trowa bought me?" Quatre asked as Trowa gave him the signal. It was showtime.
"I don't know if Trowa would approve!" Duo teased, feeling a little fuzzy. And warm, definitely warm. Damned whiskey.
"Come on!" Quatre practically hauled Duo out of the room as Trowa went for the door.
&&&
"Heero, glad you came," Trowa gave his friend a light hug. Heero handed the presents and wine to Trowa as he passed over the threshold. Trowa gave a thumb up in the air. As he walked with Heero into the kitchen, several men started to block the exits. Oh, the things you can do when you have money.
"Listen, Quatre wants you to stay the night. Not only is there an open bar, but he wants to open presents and cook breakfast in the morning," Trowa explained in a soft tone. No one was really all that good at refusing Quatre, not when it was such an innocent request.
"All right," Heero said calmly.
"Good, good. Would you like a drink?" Trowa asked, leading Heero to the bar.
"Bourbon, neat," he told the bartender. Trowa took this as a good side. Heero drank alcohol straight without any provocation. Trowa knew Heero would need a little alcohol in him to get through this.
"Want another?" he asked Heero as Heero tossed back the burning amber liquid.
"Sure," Heero took the new glass of bourbon in his hand, feeling warm and fuzzy.
&&&
"Hey, Quatre, your husband has good taste," Duo said with little surprise.
"Yes he does," Quatre smiled, "Hey Duo, come sit down"
Duo sat down in a brown leather chair in the small sitting area, "What's up, Kat?"
"Do you ever think you will get married? Settle down?" Quatre asked. Duo's eyes took on a slightly dangerous glint.
"No," Duo answered.
"Why not?" Quatre asked gently, even though he could feel the sadness rolling off of Duo.
"You know the answer Quatre. Why do we have to have this conversation now?" Duo started to look around the room.
"Would you have married Heero, had he asked?"
God, yes "No"
"You are lying to my and yourself," Quatre accused.
"What is this about?" Duo asked suspiciously.
"What if you had a second chance?" Quatre asked.
"There are no second chances when you screw up this bad, Kat!" Duo nearly yelled.
"Sit down," Quatre commanded. Duo sat, "My motives aren't pure in bringing you here"
"Why Kat, I never knew you felt that way!" Duo laughed. Quatre chuckled uneasily.
"No, seriously. How much have you had to drink, anyways?" Quatre asked.
"Too much to care how much," Duo snickered.
"Then I can tell you this. Heero is here, tonight. He just came in when we came upstairs," Quatre winced as Duo tensed up.
"You set me up," Duo gritted his teeth.
"Yes, I did. I am not proud of it," Quatre agreed.
"You lied to me. You told me he would not be here," Duo was still clenching his jaw.
"Right again," Quatre did not argue.
"Why would you do this?" Duo asked, almost desperately.
"The two of you are miserable. You love him, and he loves you, but both of you are acting like scared little children. You know that he did not kiss Relena, and he knows that you are aware of that fact. You are both stubborn, arrogant, and altogether too dense to see any of it. You cannot escape, so do not even try. I paid guards to stand at every exit. And yes, Heero is being given this same speech downstairs. We are a family. All we really have is the four of us. If you two will not kiss and make up, then you could at least act civil for our sakes. Can you do that? Act civil?" Quatre could be downright cold when he wanted to be, and now was one of those times.
Duo stared out the window and then blew up at his bangs, "What can I do to get out of this?"
"There is nothing you can say or do. It's now or never Duo," Quatre was firm.
"What do I say to him?" Duo asked in an almost whisper. Quatre moved over to the chair and put his arm around Duo's shoulders.
"You will know. Can I get you another drink?" Quatre asked.
"Hell yes"
&&&
"What?" Heero asked, calm as a storm. He was not sure he had heard Trowa right.
"Don't even think about leaving. Quatre hired guards," Trowa shrugged nonchalantly, as if it were nothing then turned to the bartender, "Bourbon, neat"
Heero downed the new drink in one shot, then he almost slammed the glass on the bar, then another as it was handed to him. Trowa felt bad because they were purposely lowering inhibitions and inducing numbness, but they were at their wit's end. Heero cleared his throat before speaking again.
"So, what am I to do?" he asked.
"Your mission? Be civil. If you will not kiss and make up, at least be civil. For me and Kat. The four of us, we make a pretty unusual little family. We want Christmas like it used to be, as a family," Trowa said gently. His head turned as Quatre and Trowa came down from the third floor. Duo looked like his heart might break, and Quatre looked pained.
Trowa felt more than saw Heero look up at Duo. The dark haired boy was radiating regret, sorrow, and love. It seemed to shine in his eyes. Trowa patted his thigh gently.
"Yeah," was all Trowa could say before leaving his stool to stand at Quatre's side. Duo and Quatre were all of three feet away.
Violet eyes met sapphire. Both men were almost trembling, and their arms twitched in a need to embrace. Quatre almost felt like an interloper, intruding on a very private moment. He motioned to Trowa, and the two walked further down the bar.