A/N: January 1st, 7:20 PM, Central Standard Time. Yes, I just finished writing Chapter One. But nobody's gonna get to see this until I finish it. (The funny thing is, I don't have a cement finish in my mind yet.) No ideas if this series is gonna have ANOTHER sequel or not. I see possibilities for one after this, but it depends on how I finish it. ;) So, enjoy!

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This chapter rated PG-13 for mild language, mild violence and drug reference.

Figuring Out My Life – Chapter Two

"OK...how do I look?"

I look up from my moviola, the film I'm editing paused in mid splice. Roger looks much better than he usually does: he's wearing a pair of slacks he's borrowed from me and a cheap polo shirt under a dinner jacket (also mine). His hair is neatly combed (for once), and he actually doesn't look that bad. "Like Prince Charming."

"Prince Charming, eh? Think it's proposal worthy?" Roger strikes his most sophisticated pose, accompanied with an arched right eyebrow and a smirk. The sight of him acting so professional sets me off, and I find myself rolling on the floor as Roger glares icicles in my direction. I finally calm down enough to sit up, get one look at Roger glaring at me, and start all over again. "I do NOT see how this is funny!" Roger yells at me, but I know he isn't really mad at me. "If you're just gonna keep laughing like that, I'm going on with Mimi."

I wipe a tear away as I sit up. "Good luck, Rog."

He rolls his eyes at me. "Thanks." He smirks at me lightly, abandoning his anger, and I shrug, getting back to my moviola. I hear him walk out the front door, taking the stairs down to Mimi's apartment.

I watch my footage, watching the film from that afternoon. All is quite normal at first, as I film the passerby and bums on the corners. I watch as I suddenly begin running, abandoning my camera and the picture films the ground. My brow furrows, and I begin the cut, cutting all the way to the end of that encounter. I don't want to remember that. It was too...too...

"MARK!"

I look up, hearing a faint yell coming up from the open window. I leap up, leaving the picture frozen on the moviola, rushing over to the window. I climb on to the fire escape, and I see Roger looking up at me from the floor below, and the first thing I notice is that his eyes are filled with fear. "MARK! HURRY!"

I rush down the steps, my feet clanking on the metal fire escape, my heart threatening to jump out of my rib cage. "Roger! What is it!"

"Hurry...Oh, hurry..." He rushes back into Mimi's apartment, and I suddenly fear the worst...

I rush into the apartment through the window and freeze. Roger is at the front door, holding Mimi, who is shaking uncontrollably...and there is something red soaking both of them... "Oh, no..."

"Mark, she just came up the stairs...somebody must have jumped her on the street..." He had taken off my jacket, and he was getting blood all over the cheap polo shirt he had bought, but he didn't care. She was shaking like mad...I can do nothing but stand by the window, staring at the two of them, frozen, stunned... "MARK! DO SOMETHING!"

I jerk out of my stupor, rushing over to the phone, picking it up, dialing three numbers. Riing... "911 Emergency."

"Hello, I need an ambulance here, quick...a girl just got jumped on the street...I'm in the apartment building on Avenue B and 11th street...thank you..." I hang up, the hand holding the phone shaking. I stand there, too scared to face Roger...

"Mimi, oh God, Mimi..." I face him, and I almost fall to the ground as my knees threaten to cave in. He is holding her so close, putting his entire body right over a massive wound in her chest. He's shaking so hard... I don't know if it's because he is holding Mimi, or if he is just as afraid as she is...as I am..."Mimi, God..."

.-.-.

I sit in the hallway outside of the ER, my face in my hands. Tonight, of all nights...It couldn't possibly be fatal, not now. They were that close to such an amazing future...they would have everything, together...

Roger had asked me to come in with him to help him be with Mimi, but I refused, saying he needed time alone with her. I couldn't stand to see Mimi's body there, the doctors surrounding her, trying to mend her body, damaged almost beyond repair...No, it couldn't be that bad. People got jumped every day in New York and it wasn't fatal...

Suddenly the door into the ER bursts open, and I look up to see Roger, his face red and blotchy, his eyes foggy. He sits down next to me, combing his hand through his hair. I can even see a few strands on his fingers, and know he must have been doing this a lot. I try to think of something to say, something to make him feel better, but then I know that nothing would work. Then I wonder if I should ask him how Mimi's doing, but I know that would be even worse. We remain silent for ages, neither of us looking at her, not wanting to say anything.

The door opens, a little slower this time. A man in a lab coat walks out, and both Roger and I leap up, looking at him with wide eyes. He blinks, turning to Roger, and I hate the painful look on his face. "Something must have gotten into her system through the wound, and we're trying to control her." Silence as I see Roger struggling to remain calm. "She's about to go into OR. If you want to talk to her, you have a minute."

Roger rushes in, and I know I should go with him, to help him, but I can't seem to stay standing as I collapse back into my chair. I wait, the minute seeming like an hour, then a year, eons of waiting. Waiting for my future to take grip on myself. This can't be happening. Not just when I had begun to trust everyone around me. My family would never leave me...not even a day later, they're slipping away...

I hear noises in the ER as suddenly a group of men and women burst out of the ER, wheeling a gurney down the hall. I get one glance at the woman on there, her eyes closed in an induced sleep as she shakes still, wires all over her frail and thin body. It's as if whoeverattacked Mimi has just stabbed me in the heart as she suddenly disappears from sight. Moments later, Roger emerges through the swinging doors, a single tear frozen on his cheek. I look up at him, and he looks at me. He laughs sourly, and my heart rips in half. "She said yes."

I look away from him, unable to see his cloudy green eyes so full of pain. "Congratulations."

"She told me to make sure you don't do...don't do something stupid, and I asked her if she would marry me if she got out of here. And she said she would." His throat seems to close up as he sits down on the chair next to me again, and I don't have any energy (or ability) to say anything to this, so he continues, his voice racked with sobs. "Dunno if she meant she would marry me or if she would get out of here, though..."

We sit there for what seems like days on end, silent. Neither of us wants to decide which she meant. I check my watch often, making sure we haven't been there for as long as it seems. 8:10. I can't believe this had to happen tonight, and I can tell Roger can't believe it either. He had been so hopeful, so ready to give up anything for her. 8:20. God, if she dies...Roger will never get over it. Never. It'll be worse than April. Sure, he loved April. But Mimi...he was willing to die for Mimi. 8:25. What about me? What about me! Will I ever get over it? Will the sight of her body, covered in blood, drenching herself and Roger, be forever imprinted on my mind, even stronger than all those millions of images I have filmed? 8:45. God, I can't stand it any longer. It's only been almost an hour, but it feels like years. Years trapped with my own tortured thoughts. I vaguely realize that Roger is shaking hard next to me, his hand covering his face. I realize he must be crying, but I'm so lost in my own emotions, I can't imagine how I can help him. 8:49. God, we need a miracle. Why has she been in there for so long? Horrible images of doctors rushing around, as a heart monitor displays a straight line...Roger, sobbing uncontrollably...8:50. Please don't let her die...for Roger's sake...for my sake...

"Excuse me." Both of us look up immediately, but neither of us seem to have the strength to stand. A doctor is standing there, his hands folded.

Roger's own shaky voice speaks before I have the chance. "Is she...?"

The doctor bows his head. I stand up, unable to believe it. "No..." I see my feet carrying my trembling body away, as if I am not that person feeling this. I'm not feeling it. I am miles above my body, watching as these events fall into place, as if they were destined to do so. I vaguely hear the doctor explain to us that she simply lost the will to live after an hour of operation, and they could do nothing. It's too much...too much...

I find myself trapped in arms, and I collapse, sobbing. "Mark! Oh, god, no..." A woman's voice? Maureen. I'm in the lobby now, and I suddenly hear multiple footsteps and I find myself surrounded by people, all of us entwined in a hug. Everybody must be there...but I'm not there. I watch my body tremble, as if in another world. It's so surreal, so impossible, that it can't be possible. Then, suddenly, I'm on the ground, left alone, in my own despair. I can't escape my nightmare of a life anymore. My arms shaking, my whole body shaking, I stand up, and I rush out of the lobby. Where can I go? How can I escape this hell!

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A/N: January 3rd, 4 PM, Central Standard Time. It took me a while to get this chapter done. –blink- So it's technically quite short, but judging on everything that happens, it's pretty good. Especially since I wanted what happens next to have it's own chapter... :D But you get to WAIT two days before you find out what that is! HAHA! MUAHAHA! MUAHA- -cough hack- ...Ahem.