Guardians

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Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh!

Chapter Thirty-four: Milkshake

The walk home was a quiet one, though not that same comfortable silence of before. It was a bit more layered with broken heartedness and the confusion of trying to figure out how you feel. As you can imagine, they had a reason to be so silent. They were both lost in memories of the past and thoughts for the future.

Karmina was so deep in her thoughts about the battle against the darkness that she tripped and nearly fell into the path of an approaching car. Joey, who could never quite be that deep in thought, caught her and then they walked in an ever thicker silence.

I just don't understand why he likes me this way. I'm nothing, no one… I don't matter. She gave a little mental laugh. He can have so much better, I know… all the girls at school love him… like I did, once. Once upon a time, when things were so simple, and still so awful…

A lonely girl scrubbed the floors while the other children, newcomers of course, played and frolicked, filled with jubilant hopes of new families and a life of love and happiness. She'd given up on those things a long, long time ago. She knew no family wanted her. They didn't even notice her. They had no idea she was there. Just a shadow on the world's surface. A shadow that had to clean… clean the whole place if she wanted to stay, if she wanted to go on living.

What was the point? She often wondered this. If she was such a useless thing, why go on? But she was not so much a pessimist. She knew there was something more than the life she was trapped in. She'd seen smiling faces and wonderful places full of joy and people who belonged. Somehow, if she worked hard enough, she could be one of them. She could be happy too.

Someday, when she was old enough, she'd get out. She'd move somewhere far away, where no one knew that she was alone in the world. And someone would be waiting there to sweep her off her feet, and they'd start a family of their own… Someday, she'd be free…

It seemed like so long ago to Karmina that she'd sat there thinking those things, and yet at the time she'd been 12 years old, a mere four years ago. It wasn't really time that made that difference, but who she was. She wasn't exactly scrubbing floors at the moment. And she knew that it didn't take being swept off your feet to fall in love… it could happen so slowly, so subtly, that you hardly know it until you've lost that person. But at the same time, it could strike fast, like lightning, and leave you scrambling for air.

She'd heard those descriptions in books. They'd always been so distant, something that wasn't a part of her world. Her boring, lonely, little world. And yet Seto Kaiba had come into her life much like a bolt of lightning, swiftly coming, doing the damage, and then leaving without a trace.

She entered the house without really noticing the change in scenery. Somehow everything had just snapped into reality. It was real… she was really out of her prison… she had really befriended Joey Wheeler. And, she'd really, truly, known love and broken hearts. She'd even managed to do some damage and rejection of her own. He'd deserved it, she knew, but did she? After all, by turning her back on him, she also closed the door that had been opened for her escape. She'd left herself floating around nearly like before. Nothing.

"Everything's… falling apart…"

"Whaddaya mean?"

"Um… did I s-say that out loud?"

"What's wrong, Karmina?"

She shook her head. She was not going to cry in front of him again. She just wouldn't do it. She couldn't. "N-Nothing… nothing's wrong…"

Joey gave her the most severe look that possibly he could, and she shuddered just a little. "J-Just there… you… you looked… different," she told him, half changing the subject and half just wanting him to never do it again. "You looked… serious… too serious…"

"I'm worried about ya, Karmina… you don't look very happy today, and I wanted your birthday to be special. Now the second we get home, you're sad again."

"Home…" she mused. "I've never had… a home. Just the places I go, b-before… before something bigger, something more, comes… and I'm still waiting."

"Do you need ta cry again?"

She wiped the tear out of her eye and smiled. "No amount of… c-crying is gonna fix this, Joey."

He put his hands on her shoulders and looked straight into her eyes. "Karmina, dis is makin' you miserable… dis dwellin' on Kaiba. You need ta get over him… it's done."

"I… I know that, Joey… it's just… I l-l-love him… I've never f-felt that way before… never."

"I know how it is… I was da same way wit Mai. I didn't eat for two weeks."

"You gave up food because of a g-girl?"

He nodded. "And den I started ta realize dat, besides bein' really hungry, I was bein' stupid, even stupider den usual."

"Well yeah… not eating is really, really unhealthy and dangerous. From what I've read… us girls go for eating a whole tub of ice cream and crying loudly to our friends… but I haven't got any of those, so-"

"Whaddaya mean you don't got any friends? What am I, den?"

Karmina turned cherry. "Well… I just m-meant that… you know… you're… a guy and… stuff… it would be… weird, you know… to cry over a breakup… and I know… well, I guess I did… but in the books, the girls' friends always tell her that the guy's a jerk and what not… and no offense or anything, but it sounds more sincere coming from a girl than a guy who might… you know… well… want to… take his place?" Not the uptalking again!

Joey's face fell. "Oh… but I wouldn't do dat… I care about ya, and not just as a girl, either. As a friend. Like Tea, only with less speeches and stuff."

Wow… did that just come out of Joey's mouth, or am I accidentally projecting him as a character in the latest book? Maybe I should pinch my- ouch! Okay, it's real.

"Joey… I know… it just hurts a lot, and I'd feel better if… well, I wish Wingweaver was- oh… never mind." She had forgotten that Joey didn't know about Wingweaver. Is it just me, or am I starting to act like he's just a nicer version of Seto- ack, it's Kaiba now. Kaiba, Kaiba, Kaiba! "It's just I wish I had some friends who were girls sometimes… it doesn't matter." She gave a little sigh, barely audible.

Joey wrapped one arm around her. "It's okay. I'm not sayin' I know what it feels like, 'cause I am one popular guy, but I get dat you need some girl friends."

She refused to let herself cry, even though she wanted to. It was ridiculous to act as though Joey was her best friend, or her boyfriend, or whatever she was treating him like. Because in the end, he was a popular guy and she was absolutely nothing. Simple, cut, and dry. Only it wasn't like that and she knew it.

"What am I gonna do?"

"Where you talkin' ta me or yourself?"

She gave a little start at hearing his voice. She'd forgotten for a moment that he was there. "Um… I think myself… I'm pretty sure, anyway…"

"Do ya want a milkshake?"

Karmina beamed at him. "If you don't mind, that'd be great!"

"Dat's number one in da big book of how ta break uncomfortable silences without soundin' like an idiot!"

"Wow, I need to read that one."

"I was kiddin'."

"Um, Joey… I know."

"Right. Sorry."

"Milkshake?"

"Let's go."

And they departed the house again, this time for milkshakes, something about as cold as the ice, but not nearly as dangerous.

End note: Ah, my muse has left me and given me a cramp and headache in return. How wonderful. Well, I hope you liked it! Review or the doom bunnies shall get you! LOL!