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CHAPTER SIX (ONE MONTH AFTER; FRIDAY)
Today, I cleaned out my daughter's room. It's been a month since Lizzie died. It's still hard to believe she's gone. Sam offers to help organize her stuff, but I want to do this myself. It helps me keep her close. I fold up her clothes to get them to donate to the local shelter. There's a big need for teenage and young adult clothes. Lizzie was so concerned about the plight of the earth and other people, so it made sense to donate them to those who needed them most. I keep out her favorite T-shirt though. I organize her jewelry and other stuff. I hold back a few things that Matt might want, some for the baby, and some for Gordo and especially Miranda. I find gifts that Lizzie bought for her friends, Christmas and birthday presents. She always bought early; she sure knew how to shop. I find gifts for me, Matt, and her father. They're wrapped up, so I leave them wrapped. I'll give them to the guys at Christmas and their birthdays; she would have wanted it that way. I pull out the red plastic triangle that she gave me when we were throwing pots. She had read the book The Orchids and Gumbo Poker Club for class, and she wanted us to be best friends. It was one of the happiest times in my life. I really blew it when I told her about Nana's fight with Grandpa and our problems with the IRS we'd had the previous year. She freaked out. It was too much information too soon. I gave her the piece back and told her to give it to me when she was ready for us to be friends. I see that she had placed it on a silver chain. There's a card beside it. I pick the card up and read, "Dear Mom, You asked me to keep this piece until I was ready for us to be friends. I'm ready now. I love you, Lizzie." I put the necklace on and cry. "Oh Lizzie, why did you leave us? What hurt you so badly that you couldn't even tell us? Your father and I would have moved heaven and earth to help you. I wish you had come to us." I grab her diary and read her last entry. "Dear Diary, I can't take it any more. I'm sorry. Lizzie." I can't say another word. The tears take over instead. I guess I'll never know why my sweet little girl died.