CHAPTER EIGHT (THREE MONTHS LATER, THURSDAY)
Today, Marin Faith McGuire came into the world. She's a beautiful baby; she looks a lot like Lizze. I felt sick all day yesterday. Nothing I ate agreed with me, and I was extremely tired. I stayed on the couch all day. Sam was such a sweetheart. He massaged my shoulders and back until I melted in his hands like butter. Yesterday was hard on Matt. I think he knew that the baby would be coming soon, because he was rather upset all day. He stayed locked up in Lizzie's, I mean, Marin's room for most of the afternoon. I still have to remind myself that although Sam and I lost a child, Matt lost his sister.
I went to bed early last night, but couldn't sleep at all. My back was killing me all night long. I settled down around one o'clock. My first contraction hit around three. It hit hard. I shook Sam, "Sam, wake up!" He didn't stir. "Sam, it's time." He still didn't stir. I was getting rather mad, and the contractions really hurt. "IT'S TIME, SAM!" He finally woke up. While I got dressed, Sam woke mom and Matt up. Then, it was off to the hospital. Sam drove like a maniac, and we were there in no time. When we got to the hospital, I was whisked into labor and delivery. I was about six centimeters already. I was going really fast. Sam got to the room shortly thereafter. I love that man so much!
Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get an epidural, so I went through labor and delivery without any pain medication. My labor went really quickly. I pushed for an hour and Marin was born at 6 in the morning. She weighed six pounds even and was nineteen inches long. She was the smallest out of the three. Matt was the biggest, topping out at ten and one-half pounds. Lizzie was seven four. When I heard Marin cry for the first time, I fell in love with her immediately. I haven't felt such joy in a long time. Sam was crying so hard, the nurses had to help him cut the cord. Dr. James put Marin on my chest, and immediately she held her little head up and looked me in the eyes. Here was my daughter! Sam and I had the time of our lives bonding with our daughter. "Sam," I began, "she's so beautiful!" "She is, just like her mother." Then, I said it, "She looks like Lizzie." I tried to stop the tears, but they just kept coming. Sam just held me as we looked at our daughter. Will we ever be able to think about Lizzie without being sad? It's only been seven and a half months.
Later this afternoon, mom brought Matt up to meet his sister. He was a mixture of joy and sorrow. Instantly, he fell in love with Marin, but there was such a void in the room. Lizzie should be here meeting her sister! However, today is Marin's day. Although the spectre of Lizzie's suicide was in the air, we managed to focus our energy into welcoming Marin into the world. Miranda and Gordo came to visit. I hadn't seen them since they threw me a baby shower. Their visit was bittersweet for all of us. Their presence made Lizzie's absence more obvious. The three of them would have been fawning over Marin and dreaming about becoming parents some day. Instead, they stayed for about five minutes or so. They brought the cutest gift basket, complete with a pastel green dress and a teddy bear. They're so thoughtful. I miss Lizzie's friends.