Guardians

Note: Okay, here's the next chapter, everyone. Thanks much for the reviews, and please keep it up! I hope you like it!

Chapter Forty-Four: Business Trip

Seto Kaiba forced the last few items into his suitcase, typed down a few numbers, and pulled on his favorite trench coat. He was in a right state this morning, more so than usual, because of his earlier phone call. He wasn't really sure why he'd slammed the phone down. When he'd picked it up, he'd had every intention of calmly dealing with her like he did his associates. But when he tried to speak, nothing came out, and he lost his temper with her for making him feel so uncertain.

She probably cried, he thought matter of factly, forcing himself to feel nothing from the statement. He was getting better, now, at pretending she didn't matter, but that night, with the phone in his hand and her on the other end, it was like he hadn't made any progress at all. That irked him to no end.

"Mr. Kaiba sir, are you ready to go?" Roland asked.

"Yes."

He followed him down into the limo and sat scowling in the back for a moment before erasing any trace of emotion from his face, and even from his eyes. He was going to a business meeting down by some beach in some place, he didn't care where. It would be good to get back to business matters, dealing with other companies and such. Good to take his mind off of her, and off of the phone call and his fired secretary.

"What are you waiting for Roland, drive!"

"Yes, sir."

And he did just that.

During the trip, he sat stock still with his laptop poised on his lap, not typing. Something about being on this plane, in this seat next to the one by the window, reminded him of Karmina. It was almost like she'd been here. He could almost smell that soft, flowery, slightly dejected scent that she carried with her, almost hear her voice and feel her drooping head on his shoulder. It was eerie, almost like magic, although he still refused to admit in the existence of such things, at least in this world.

But he caught himself staring at that empty seat for most of the ride, and at his own strangely weighted shoulder.

I guess it is possible that we still have some sort of… connection, or something. That maybe we can sort of… tell what the other's been doing, or has done, sometimes. No, I'm just losing it, flat and simple. Yes, that's it. I'm losing it.

Meanwhile, Karmina stared at the water sadly, ignoring everyone and everything around her. Earlier, Tea and Serenity had found her asleep on the balcony and prodded her awake, dragging her inside. They'd forced her into her swimsuit and down to the beach, and she'd never said a word. She was in a bit of shock, really. He'd hung up on her.

"C'mon, Karmina, stop being so depressing," Serenity insisted. "You're making my brother worry, and that's not normal."

She didn't say anything. She didn't feel she had the words for what was on her mind just now. There were no words for having your heart ripped out and being unable to feel anything but sadness anymore. No words to describe the extremity of her pain.

"Karmina, please stop it. At least tell me what's happened to make you like this."

She opened her mouth and closed it. This was not Serenity's business in the least. Why should she tell her what had happened? Instead, she shook her head.

"Alright, I'll leave you alone for now, but you're in for it tonight."

She sighed and leaned back. Might as well get a tan while she was melting away inside.

Someone sat down next to her, and she glanced carelessly beside her to see Joey. He wasn't smiling, and somehow that only served to make her all the more sad.

"Karmina, what did dat jerk do?"

She found words to defend her Seto. "He didn't do anything it wasn't his right to do," she muttered tonelessly. "And it's none of your concern."

"I can't believe you'd say dat. Of course it's my concern I-"

"Don't. I don't want to hear it, Joey." Truthfully, it didn't matter to her anymore. Seto hated her, and she knew now that she loved him completely and had no room for Joey Wheeler.

"I was going to say that I care about you, because you're my friend. And you're my sistuh's friend."

She sighed and looked away. "I don't care if you care," she said coldly.

"I think you do," Joey said, hitting her lightly with his palm. "You're just bein' too depressin' to admit it."

"So what if I am?"

He grinned broadly and grabbed her arm, dragging her down the beach and dunking her in the water. She sputtered, coughed, and gave a little, hollow laugh. It made her feel only a small, miniscule amount better to be in the cool, comforting water. She hopped on Joey and pushed him under, laughing all the time in a sort of giddy denial of her pain. He came up sputtering and laughing, swallowing a lot of water.

He smiled softly at her. "Dere, dat's better, isn't it?"

She shrugged. "I suppose." The euphoria of being in the chilled water had worn off and she was bitter again. But Joey didn't let her dwell on it. He kept her occupied, and then took her, and only her, out to a restaurant that night.

"Now are ya gonna tell me what happened or do I have ta force it outta ya?"

"You'll have to force it out of me, Joey. I don't want to talk about it."

He grinned and started tickling her without relent, earning stares from the waiter and several other patrons. She fought laughter but eventually her old laugh shone through, and Joey stopped tickling her. She slapped him on the arm. "Why can't you let me wallow in sorrow?"

"It's my job."

"I wouldn't doubt it."

As they ate, Karmina thought for a while. Perhaps, she thought, Seto had been more shocked than angry. Maybe, when he hadn't known what to say, he'd panicked in his own way, and turned to rage instead. How she guessed that she wasn't sure, but once she did, she was almost positive that it was true. "He wasn't really that mad…" she said aloud.

"Ready ta talk about it now?"

"I think so. Last night… I called Seto. And he… he hung up on me… without even letting me say a single word. I though… until just now, I though that he hated me and never wanted to see me again, but… I think… really, he was just shocked and confused. He's like that, you know. When he's not sure what to do, he just acts angry, because it's what he knows best."

Joey stared. "You understand money bags pretty good, don't ya?"

She blushed. "We were… very close, for a while there. Closer, I think, than either of us even realized, until… we weren't, anymore."

He regarded her for a long time, then, his normally open face unreadable. "You really love him, don't ya?"

She turned a deeper shade of red. "Yes, I do."

He leaned back. "The way you feel about him… that's how I feel about you, Karmina. And dat's why… dat's why it's hard for me ta say dis… but… you an' him… somethin' about da way you talk about him… you're just… meant for each other, I think."

"I'm sorry, Joey…" she said softly, hurt by how sad he was. "I wanted to like you… I wanted to forget about Seto, but, in the end… I just couldn't do it."

"I understand. It's okay." But everything in his eyes and posture told her that it wasn't, that he clearly didn't understand.

"You're… nice, Joey. You're so nice, and you let people know you care. Everything about you… you're the person I always saw myself with in my childhood fantasies. Lying in bed, listening to Avril or Kelly, I saw myself with you, Joey. From the day I met you, I thought you were the best thing in the world. And then… Outside the orphanage, I ran into Seto Kaiba, and, maybe even in the very instant, I changed. Something in me shifted, and now… now I can't even imagine that scenario anymore. Maybe if… if I hadn't… run into him… it'd be the same now. Or maybe if it had been you to see me when no one else did, maybe then it would still be you. But the fact of it is… Seto was there for me when no one else was… he understood me when I thought it was impossible for anyone to understand." She sighed and finally let herself say the words that had been on her mind since the start of her long speech. "You're too late, Joey. You could've had my heart, I know you could have," for some reason, there were tears in her eyes now. "It could've been so much easier… for all of us." She sobbed deeply and put her head in her hands. "It could've been so much easier."

End note: Waaaaaaaaaaah! Too sad. Okay, so, review and then I'll be putting up 45!