Chapter 22
I gasped for air. If I could just breathe, maybe things would make sense, maybe I could gather my head. I ran, clutching my chest against the smoke that filled my lungs as I searched for air.
I stumbled over something. I tried to get up, but my foot was tangled. I bent down to yank at the strap my foot was caught in, but the strap was connected to something else. I found myself staring into eyes glazed over with death. An earthbender body. I screamed.
Air! I needed air! The smoke was stinging my eyes, burning my throat, searing my lungs. I gasped despite the pain of breathing, but found the air a little purer close to the ground. I gulped in as much as I could take and then stood. My head was spinning. The smoke. The yelling. Where was I?
Get a hold of yourself, Katara. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind.
Water. I need to get water and find the source of the smoke. I searched along the ground and found a canteen strapped to another lifeless body. I pulled it off the limp shoulder and uncorked it. I lashed out at the smoke with a water whip, creating a small clearing in front of me as the whip parted the air. I lashed out again and again, traveling in as straight a line as I could over the bodies that lay sprawled on the ground. Most were earthbenders, but I few wore the red of a firebender soldier. Every black strand of hair, every dimly glowing palm, every lifeless pair of golden eyes I came to sent a jolt of fear through my body as I prayed they didn't belong to Zuko.
Finally, I came to the edge of the camp and the source of the smoke. A blanket soaked in some kind of black substance was putting off volumes of it. I gathered all the water in the canteen and soaked the blanket, putting out the fire that fueled the smoke.
I found another water skin and sprinted along the edge of the camp. Sure enough, another burning blanket was set up a few feet down the line. I put it out and continued forward. Using water skins and moisture from the thawing earth, I put out at least ten blankets. As the smoke cleared, I saw in patches a desperate battle being waged.
Firebenders, wearing patches of cloth over their mouths, were killing the dazed and choking earthbenders with a frightening efficiency. I ran into the fray, slashing out at the bursts of flame with my water whip until my legs gave out from beneath me.
I sat on the ground, breathing the quickly-purifying air greedily. Through the dissipating haze I saw a figure raising his hand and shouting quick commands to the firebenders. His mouth was covered in the same cloth as the rest, but his eyes were clearly visible. They burned with an malevolent evil I'd not seen in anyone, firebender or not. Firebenders began to appear at his side, emerging from the smoke and running off into the woods as he beckoned them and barked orders.
It was strange how high his voice was. It must have had something to do with the smoke. But actually, a lot about him was strange. Even the way he walked. He strutted like the rest of them, but there was something different about his walk... a little more wiggle in his hips. And his uniform seemed deformed, as it protruded too much in the front, almost as if it were made for a...
...Woman? I blinked, but the figure was gone, disappearing into the forest along with the last of the smoke. I stood shakily to my feet and looked around me. The firebenders had gone, leaving only bodies and stunned earthbenders.
Death was everywhere. The camp seemed covered with the bodies of slain earthbenders. I felt nausea well inside my stomach and pull at the back of my throat, but I pushed the feeling aside as I searched. Where is Zuko?
Stumbling among the bodies, I felt panic begin as a tiny shiver of cold that grew into a torrent of icewater that filled my veins and froze me to my spot. Suddenly, I didn't want to look. I didn't want to find out the truth. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to be without Zuko.
"Zuko." I whispered. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before scanning the crowd of dazed earthbenders.
A dark flicker of hair caught my attention. It was pulled into a high topknot and belonged to a figure who was kneeling in the midst of the chaos. Please, please let it be Zuko. I repeated as I began to run to the spot.
It was! Relieved sobs rose in my throat and spilled over into tears of joy that cut channels through the dust and soot on my face.
"Zuko!" I shouted, trying to catch his attention. He didn't turn to me. Other earthbenders had gathered around him, watching him.
"Zuko!" I shouted again. He still didn't turn. He was kneeling beside something on the ground. More earthbenders were gathering. "Zuko!" Why wouldn't he look up? Relief turned to curiosity, and curiosity turned to horror as I saw what he was kneeling by.
It was a body.
The body belonged to Teikei. I froze, just feet from the fallen leader. My feet moved me closer against my will. My eyes saw what I willed them not to see.
Blood trickled from Teikei's mouth, and his face had become as pale as a full moon. His eyes gazed listlessly at sky while his chest rose in fell in short, erratic gasps. I wanted to scream, but the sound caught in my throat and echoed around in my head a thousand times, building and roaring until I thought I wouldn't be able to stand it anymore.
I took a step forward. I could heal him! I could...
I felt a restraining hand on my shoulder. "There is nothing you can do now, Miss Katara. He is beyond our help. He is beyond anyone's help." A soldier whispered to me. I didn't want to hear his words. I wouldn't! I was going to help him! I was going to heal him!
But I didn't move. What my mind couldn't accept, my body could, and I stayed where I was, standing among the shocked faces of the surviving earthbenders. I looked back down at Teikei, and could see him struggling against encroaching death. Zuko knelt by his side, his hand gripping the old warrior's as if it were the only thing holding him to earth.
"Zuko." Teikei rasped.
"I'm here." Zuko's voice was strained, and he was visibly trembling as he looked into the eyes of the man who'd served for the past five months as his leader, his counselor, and the closest thing he'd ever gotten to a real father.
"You are now the leader of these men. They will serve you as faithfully as they have served me. I trust you with them, for you're a better leader than I ever was. They'll see that eventually." Teikei moved his hand to his belt and dragged his short sword out of its sheath and into Zuko's hand. He took another breath, but his body was wracked with a coughing fit. Blood trickled down his lip and Zuko wiped it away with a corner of Teikei's tunic. It took a few moments for Teikei to gather his strength again, but when he did, his words were strong and forceful.
"I was too busy training and fighting to have the one thing I wanted more than anything else. Zuko, this war will end someday. I pray that you will see that end, and that you will have a chance to have something I was never able to have." Teikei gazed hard into Zuko's eyes and then swept the crowd around him in one searching glance. His eyes finally landed on me, and I felt my heart well with compassion for him. He looked at me for a moment, and then looked back at Zuko. A tiny smile lifted the corners of his mouth, as if he knew a great secret.
He closed his eyes and took his last breath. A great mourning cry went up from the earthbenders.
Two tears slid down Zuko's face.
Clouds had gathered and thunder rumbled on the craggy peaks of the distant mountains, which had become blurred as sheets of rain sliced through the sky. It was as if the whole world were weeping for the death of the rebel leader.
We marched in a long procession from the base of our mountain, our green cloaks and tunics waving gently in the wind, banners of our grief, as we made our way slowly to the Pinnacle at Ishan.
It had been a full day since the horrible battle. After burying the fallen earthbenders where they lay, we had marched back to our mountain base, heavy hearted, with the body of our slain leader carried on a cot in the midst of us. Taking only enough time to change our clothes, we'd set out again, carrying Teikei's body to the burial ground we'd chosen for him.
Zuko and I stood at the head of the procession. The scent of last fall's decaying leaves, now thawing in spring's return, drifted around me on a lazy wind, heavy with moisture from the distant storm. I pulled my cloak tighter around my shoulders, suddenly cold. I stroked the green fabric lovingly. I'd worn it on the day I'd first met Teikei. I smiled when I remembered how strange he'd seemed to me then, with his laughing eyes and gentle voice. He'd never reminded me of a man of war. And he wasn't. Teikei was another example of a peaceful individual who'd had to sacrifice himself in the name of this war. This cursed war!
I could not stop the tears from welling in my eyes and streaming down my face. I did not wipe them away. There was no shame in sorrow today, and several of the soldiers wept openly. Thunder crackled overhead. It sounded as if the sky was tearing itself in two, writhing and breaking, sharing our pain.
I looked over at Zuko. His face was expressionless, his eyes set stonily ahead of us. His mouth was set in a firm line, his hands were held at his sides, his posture erect and militant. The posture of a solider, a warrior. But I saw, in the dark flickers of light behind his eyes, the face of a grieving son.
The glint of the short sword caught my eye from its place tied around Zuko's waist. It was the sword of leadership, the sword passed down from Teikei to Zuko as the leader lay dying. The sword of leadership. What did that mean? It meant Zuko was now leader of the rebel army, I knew that much, but...
What would Zuko do now?
The earth heaved, buckled, and finally shot into the sky. Twenty earthbending soldiers stood around its parameter, molding and shaping the giant pillar into a pyramid. Once finished, a hole was opened in the base of it, and with great ceremony Teikei's body was placed inside.
Then the hole was closed, forever sealing the leader of the rebel army inside. I closed my eyes and focused on the sorrow in my heart, letting it take over me like waves crashing against the ocean shore. It was Zuko's voice that broke my spell of sorrow and brought me back the earth.
"Here Teikei, leader of the Earthbending Rebels, will rest, looking over the lands that he sacrificed his life protecting."
Zuko's words were short but powerful. A cry rose up from the men, a war cry that twisted and cut the air as it echoed off the far away mountains and came back to us a thousand times. The voices built and crescendoed. I heard Zuko add his war cry, the powerful, passionate cry of a firebender.
I added my own voice, the haunting, moaning scream of a waterbender. Our voices mixed and mingled, blending into a cacophony of sorrow and pain, until we could not yell anymore, and the cry faded.
Silence surrounded our gathering. No birds chirped, no cicadas hummed, no human spoke. There was only the wind, twisting and curling around the mountains to converse with the trees. The ceremony was done now. Teikei had been buried with all the honor and respect deserved of a great leader. But now a question hung heavily in the air and on the faces of the men gathered around the burial site.
What now?
All faces turned to Zuko. Some looked expectant, as if expecting a challenge. Some looked with hope, gazing at Zuko as if he had the power to just call off the whole war. Most, however, looked at him with suspicion. The earthbender green of his tunic did not hide his golden eyes. His heritage was plain on his face.
But Zuko did not speak. He bent down and loosed the straps of his pack and began to set up his mat on the ground. The rest seemed to understand, and followed suit, unrolling their mats and making feeble fires to ward off the deepening darkness.
I set up my mat next to Zuko's and watched as he bent over the fire, poking and fussing at it, adding tinder and dried grass, as if he couldn't keep it going with just a flick of his wrist.
Something's bothering him.
I waited until twilight melted into darkness and the sounds of snoring were drifting around the little camp. Zuko was still up, staring into the fire intensely. I got up from my mat and crept toward him. He did not turn to face me, only continued to stare at the fire. I waited.
"This will never stop." Zuko's voice was low and heavy with a great burden. "It is pointless. I felt a jolt run through me at his words. Was he giving up? This wasn't Zuko. Zuko would never give up!
"How dare you give up on these men! You would have them lose their hope? You would have them abandon their people to be slaughtered? You wold give up on them?" I hissed in the darkness.
"I am not giving up!" Zuko said, turning to me with a dangerous fire burning in his eyes. The flames beside us lept into the sky, crackling and snapping with unnatural heat.
"Don't you see, Katara? We are fighting a pointless war! My father will not stop attacking these lands until every last town has been overrun. So what if they won a few battles? They will not win the war. In time, he will send greater forces. In time, they will all die."
I felt as if my breath had become stuck in my throat. I wanted to protest, to convince Zuko that there was still hope, but I knew he was right. The fire lord was ruthless, merciless. That much was as plain as the scar that marked his own son's face. I was a fool to have convinced myself that the small army could keep him at bay. Zuko was right. It was just a matter of time.
"So what do we do?" Hopelessness tinged my voice. "If what you say is true, there is no way to stop the coming slaughter."
"Yes, there is." Zuko's voice was so low I could barely hear it over the crackling of the fire. I leaned forward, catching his golden stare in my sapphire one.
"I must fight my father." He whispered.
A shiver of dread ran up my spine.
And I couldn't help but glance at the fiery scar that arced across the Prince's face.
Dawn was grey and cold and wet with a light drizzle that fell from weeping clouds. I felt Zuko stir beside me, felt the comforting warmth of his arms lift from their position wrapped around my waist. He moved gently and carefully, but I was already awake. I turned to face him and grabbed his wrist before he could pull too far away.
"I wish the best for you. My strength is your strength." I whispered the waterbender blessing, looking earnestly into his eyes. He nodded a wordless thank-you and stood, walking to the center of the camp. I followed, joined by the other earthbenders as they rose and converged.
There was an electricity in the air. They'd waited all night, and now they would finally see what their new leader was going to do. I stood in their midst, quietly wishing Zuko courage and strength.
He stood on a boulder, elevating himself in the crowd. With one sudden movement, he plunged his hand to his side and pulled Teikei's sword from the sash around his waist. He held it up so that it glinted in the dim light cast through the clouds.
"Teikei has given me this sword. I have been appointed your leader, and there is only one way I will lead." I noticed several of the older, bigger earthbenders bristle. Part of me wondered what Zuko was doing. He was winning no friends with the speech so far. It undoubtedly irked the older earthbenders to be addressed that way by the young prince.
"Listen to me. After you have heard me, you can choose for yourselves whether you will stay with me or leave. If you wish to leave, you may do so without shame or dishonor. If you stay, you may die." This at least perked their interest.
"I am a firebender, a son of the Fire Nation." Several earthbenders gasped. It was like a little dog announcing himself in a room full of angry cats. I pushed my uneasiness aside. Zuko knew what he was doing.
"This fact may lower me in your eyes, but I am not ashamed of it. My heart beats for my nation, and it bleeds for it's disgrace." Several jaws dropped.
"The Fire Nation was once one of great honor, but it has been lost in the greed of its Lords. One barbarity has been heaped on another, each disgrace more ugly than the last. Ozai has been the cause of the death of the airbenders. He has allowed the slaughter of his own people to gain more ground in his battles. It was he who ordered the attacks that have killed your wives, your children, your mothers and fathers. It was he who put this scar on my face." Zuko's voice rose as he pointed to the mark. The soldiers gasped and began to murmur among themselves.
"I always wondered how..."
"... did you hear that?"
"His own son!..."
"...wonder what he did..."
"Boy speaks like a leader..."
"...we'll see about that..."
"The Fire Lord will kill you all if he remains on the throne. Believe me when I say you will receive no mercy." Zuko's eyes narrowed and his voice dropped in warning. The murmuring hushed.
"I am going to fight my father. I am asking brave men to follow me. I do not hold out much hope for my own life, nor should you for your own. But I will not let Ozai take anything else from me." Here Zuko paused. His golden eyes flashed as they swept over the audience before coming to rest on my face. His voice was low when he spoke again.
"I will not let him take away that which I love." The silver flash of the short sword caught my attention and quelled the questions in my mind.
"Will you let Ozai take your home from you?" He shouted, raising the sword above his head. A murmur of anger rose from the crowd.
"Will you let him take your lands, your freedom, your life?" The murmur grew as Zuko shook the sword above his head.
"Will you let him slaughter your families?" Angry shouts rose from the crowd and I could hear the scraping of metal as swords were drawn from their scabbards.
"Will you join me?" Zuko shouted his challenge, raising both hands in the air and holding the sword between them.
A roar rose up from the crowd so loud that I wondered if the Fire Lord himself couldn't hear it from his throne. Swords sliced through the air above my head, raised to meet Zuko's challenge. I raised my own hand and added my yell to the chorus.