The airport is extremely hot, or at least it seems like that me. Or cold. I'm not quite sure. Christopher tried to come inside the airport with me but I somehow convinced him I could get on the plane by myself. It was bad enough having to listen to him in the car go on and on about how I never explained to him the difference between adolescent Lorelai and adult Lorelai. I'm sorry, but did I need to send him a memo about this?
So here I am. In the airport. I sling my bag over my shoulder and walk over to the Continental Airlines counter. This bag seems heavy considering that I have no idea what I threw into it, other than some random clothes, my toothbrush, a picture of Rory and a picture of Luke and a pair of earrings and a necklace Luke once bought for me.
"Can I help you?" the charming lady behind the counter calls. I hand her my driver's license and credit card. "Where would you be flying tonight?" Well this is something I didn't think about. I guess I must have thought I was just going to get on a plane and it would fly me to a random city. Good going, Gilmore, I think for the second time tonight.
"Topeka," I say. Topeka? I remember once telling Rory I thought it was the silliest city name in the world. "Topeka. Kansas." What are you going to do in Topeka, Lorelai, other than hang out with Toto and the Scarecrow? No time for these questions, just get the ticket and go.
The lady takes a bunch of random information. She slides my credit card through and checks my bag. Then she hands me a boarding pass that says the plane in boarding in fifteen minutes. Well, that was fast. I smile at her, grab my purse and head towards the gate.
As I'm walking towards my destination, Luke's face pops into my mine. I will never forget his face the day we broke up. Standing in Doose's, yelling at him that I want a middle, and his face. Oh his face. I hurt him so much that night. Suddenly my knees feel weak.
I sit down in the closest chair to me, just thinking. Is this my fault? Is that pain, that is almost certainly on his face right now, caused be me? Oh Lorelai, what have you done? I'm rubbing my forehead now, the pain in throbbing in my head.
Stop it Lorelai, this isn't your fault. He's the one who didn't tell you! He's the one who tried to hide things! He's the one who postponed the wedding! He's the one who doesn't – he doesn't… I can feel the tears form in my eyes.
"Excuse me?" I hear someone say. I look up and there's a tall thin man staring at me. "I'm sorry, it's just that this is a shoe shine station and I don't think you want your shoes shined." I glance down at my shoes, pondering this.
"No, thanks," I say, forcing a smile. "Sorry, I'm in your way." And as I think about getting up from where I'm sitting, something about the man reminds me of someone, someone comfortable. "Can I ask you something?" He glances over at me.
"Shoot."
"If he says he wants to postpone the wedding, does that mean he never really wanted to get married? Or that he doesn't love me?" The man stares at me for a moment. Sighing, he sits down in the chair next to me.
"Your boyfriend broke up with you?" Broke up! Is he kidding me? I didn't say that! Luke would never, he wouldn't, oh no, but he didn't. He didn't break up with me.
"No!" I glare at the man for a moment.
"Sorry, I'll go back to what I was doing." He stands and goes back to putting things away.
"No, sorry. It's… Can I ask you? Are you married?" He glances back at me.
"I was. She moved out last year." Good going, Gilmore. Three times, man this is a real habit with you now.
"Oh, uh, sorry."
"No, it's okay. She cheated on me, so I'm over it." I nod. It could always be worse. He sits back down in the chair next to me. "Okay, I can tell that this is going to take awhile. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you, I'll respond and then you can leave and I can close up?" I smile.
"My fiancé…" I glance down at my hand, remembering that the ring is back on my porch swing. "We were getting married. Things were going so well. And then I find out that he had a daughter he never knew about. She's twelve. I found out because I happened to see her at his work. I mean he never told me! He goes on and on about how we have to tell each other everything and then he does this. I mean, is this some kind of sick prank? I'm all about jokes and pranks but this is too much." The man nods. I think he's wondering if he should interrupt and say something but I can't stop going in the middle of a rant. "So I talked to my daughter. She convinced me that Luke and I are just like Gwen and Gavin so I told Luke that and that I could learn to deal with April. He just still seemed so frustrated. And then he said it, he said we should postpone the wedding. Postpone! I mean sure I had done all the planning, but what guy does plan his own wedding unless he's a metro or something. He kept going on about how this is all so fast and he was frustrated so when he asked if I was okay with it, I said yes. Yeah, I know, I broke the rule, I lied, but hey he broke it first! He was all about postponing the wedding. And if that's the first thing that came to mind, I don't know, it just made me think that he didn't really want to get married in the first place. He doesn't really love me." The tears sting my eyes as I say the last sentence.
"I'm sure he wouldn't have proposed if he didn't love you," the man says, patting my knee.
"He didn't. I proposed."
"Oh," the man replies, shocked, removing his hand from my knee. "Ma'am, I can't give you the right answer here." Wow, big help. "You want my advice?" Not really anymore, but I'll listen, so I nod. "You're at the airport, so you must be leaving. Don't. Don't do it. Go talk to him, find out what you want to know."
"Thanks, Cher." He looks at me like I'm crazy. Some people have no knowledge of pop culture. "It's in his kiss? Shoop shoop," I say, doing a little of the arm movement. "Forget it."
"Forgotten." We stare at each other for a moment. He's a smart man, this shoe shiner.
"Thanks." I say, standing up. We shake hands and I walk away. To go call a cab, to go find Luke, to find out what I want to know.
-------------------------------------------------
The sun wakes me up in the morning. I should be thankful that it isn't Babette waking me up, finding me on Lorelai's porch. That could have been very bad. As I rub my face, waking myself up, I think about breaking in to feed Paul Anka. She'll kill me if I let the damn dog die. She'll break up with me. Then of course, I realize fingering the ring in my pocket, she has already.
All right Luke, get off your butt and go to work. Personally, I hope it burnt down last night. I'll go back to the diner and call her. Call her. I am an idiot. Why didn't I call her last night? Why? I'll tell you why? Because I am an idiot.
I get up and walk quickly to the diner. I open the door and find Caesar on the phone in the diner. "Caesar!" He glances over at me. "What are you doing?"
"I had a break and I needed to check on my grandmother." He has a grandmother? He has a family? Why do I suddenly care?
"Fine, you've got three minutes while I go upstairs and change and if you're still on the phone we may have to reenact Hansel and Gretel." With that I head up the stairs to my apartment.
Okay, Luke, you need a plan. Call her. Beg. Grovel. Call Rory. Beg. Grovel. There, good list. I open the door of my apartment intending to go straight to the phone and call her but I glance around as I'm on my way and I stop. She's there. On the bed. Fast asleep. And I have to stop and think. Was she there when I left yesterday? Could I have possibly missed her?
Lorelai rolls over, squinting as the sun wakes her up. "Mmmmm…" she moans. God she's beautiful. She leans up on her elbow and looks at me. "Luke?" she asks, in her still sleepy voice. "Have you been here for awhile?"
"No, I just got back. Have you been here all night?" She shrugs. Not really an answer.
"Where were you all night?" she asks.
"On your porch." She sits up, suddenly awake.
"Oh, so you saw – the note – you saw the note." She slowly stands up.
"Yeah, I saw the note, but I didn't feed the dog. You locked the door."
"Oh." She seems surprised, so I let that go. "I should…"
"He'll be fine for a little while," I insist. I really have no clue, what do I know about dogs? But Paul Anka's a big dog and he's got a mind of his own. He could probably figure out how to feed himself. She nods, hands on hips, looking down at the ground. "Where were you last night?" Lorelai hesitates, looking up at me.
"At the airport." She was leaving? Without telling me? This is so much worse than I thought.
"Where were you going?" She shrugs.
"I don't know, away. But I couldn't go. I couldn't leave without coming back here. But you weren't here, you were on my porch." Ah, it's becoming clearer. And maybe it's not as bad as I thought.
"I found this too." I take the ring out of my pocket and lay it on the table. She stares at it for a moment and I think for a moment that her eyes glisten with tears.
"I, yeah, I was giving it back to you." So she really meant to do this. All I want to do right now is shake her and make her realize that I would do anything for her. She knows that!
"Are you out?" I ask.
"No, you are. You may not have said it, but I know that you wanted out. You don't want to get married."
"When did I say this?" She puts on her haughty face and acts surprised that I could say such a thing.
"Yesterday! God, Luke!"
"I didn't say that, Lorelai! I said okay when you suggested that we postpone the wedding. I never said I didn't want to marry you!"
"Do you? Do you want to marry me? You were so quick to say yes to the suggestion that we postpone the wedding, I just figured. I figured you didn't know how to tell me that you didn't want to get married."
"You think I didn't want to get married all along?" She nods. Where on earth is this coming from? "I said yes."
"I know, Luke, but I proposed. I did. Maybe you just said yes to pacify me." This is craziness.
"I bought the ring. I searched for the perfect one without having to ask which one you liked best." She looks down. I'd better say something fast or I'm going to lose her. "I want to marry you Lorelai. I want you to be mine and know that I'm yours for the rest of out lives." I walk over to her while I'm saying this until I'm standing right in front of her. "I want you to belong to me like a gift for me everyday of my life. I want to wake up with you by my side in the morning and I want to go to bed with you at night."
"Dirty," she comments. Looking up at me and grinning wickedly. Okay, this is better.
"I'm sorry I postponed the wedding. I've changed my mind I want to get married as soon as possible, right now if that's possible. Whatever you want, Lorelai, whatever will make you happy. I love you Lorelai." With that she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls my lips to hers, kissing me softly and then more passionately. She is amazing. I give in eagerly, letting my hands wander over her back.
After a few minutes of this, she pulls back. "I'm glad you said that." I smile and I'm relieved. "Get the ring on my finger, buster, cuz we're getting married." I stare into her deep blue eyes for a moment, wondering, my brain going places it shouldn't.
"Don't do this for me. Don't do this because I said I love you."
"I'm not. I'm doing this because I love you," she answers, perfectly. I reach over and pick the ring off the table. As I put it back on her finger, I pull her back by the waist and kiss her like I never have before. We belong together and we will be together forever. We're all in now. And everything is perfect.
--
A/N: Please review! Let me know that you like stories where Luke is alive!