CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
NINE MONTHS LATER----TWINS ARE ONE YEAR OLD; MARIN'S TWO YEARS OLD
The twins are a year old today! Marin is two. Again, we had a quiet party, just family and friends. My parents, Jo's mom, and Dianne came, but stayed in a motel nearby. Jo had her chemo last week, so she had a little more energy than she had at Christmas. In addition, she's not pregnant, so there's no possibility of having to rush off to the hospital. It was so cute watching the three kids open their presents. Jo helped the twins, in keeping with tradition. Marin's talking up a storm, so she provided a lot of entertainment. The twins are just beginning to walk, so they kept bumping into things. Brooke wore Lizzie and Marin's dress, and Ben wore Matt's outfit he wore when he turned one.
Matt baked the cake this year. Jo wanted to, but she wasn't feeling up to it. However, she insisted on decorating it. She used Winnie the Pooh this year. With having two daughters and a son with the same birthday, it seemed to fit. It wasn't too girly or boyish. I don't know what we'll do when they're older and insist on their own cake and parties. Thankfully, that's a couple years away. The twins smashed their fists into their cake. Ben spread it all over his face and hands. He was a mess! Brooke picked little pieces of cake and dropped them on the floor. Marin acted "all grown up" and used her spoon to eat her cake.
Miranda and Gordo came over again. Lizzie wanted to open presents too. She's nearly two, so they had some work explaining that it wasn't her birthday yet. I found a small stuffed bear for her and wrapped it up before they arrived. Call it having already raised 2 kids. Two year olds are funny like that. Marin and Lizzie paired off, playing together. The twins climbed in and out of empty boxes. I think it might have been cheaper to wrap empty boxes and give that to them. I wanted to, but Jo insisted that we get them presents.
I finally found work and start Monday. Finances were getting really lean. Jo's cancer treatment, even with insurance, is expensive, as is having three kids under two and a fourteen year old boy. I was afraid we'd lose the house. I didn't want to worry Jo, so I talked to Lizzie a lot about it. I don't know whether she's actually around, but it helps me to go to her gravesite and talk to her. One day last month, I was going over the books, and Jo walks in. I was deep in thought, trying to see how we could squeeze blood out of a turnip. "How's it going?" she asks. "Oh, fine." "You don't look fine. You look worried. What's wrong, Sam?" "Oh nothing," I tried to brush it off. "It is NOT nothing. Tell me." "I don't want to worry you, Jo. You've been sick and all..." That made her mad. "Sam, I'm your wife. Don't shut me out." "But..." She sits down beside me and looks me in the eye, "And don't give me that 'you've been sick' stuff. I know I'm sick. I've had cancer for over a year; there's not a day that goes by that I don't know that." I take her hands in mine, "I'm sorry Jo. I should have shared this with you, but you've got so much on your plate. I didn't want to worry you." "Sam, we're in this for better or for worse. I can handle it; give me some credit. Now, what's going on." I show her the books, "We have nothing in savings and only two more months' worth in checking. If I don't find something soon, we're gonna lose the house." "Is it my treatments? I'm sorry, if I hadn't..." I cut her off, "Jo, don't appologize. It's not your fault. We'll work something out. If I have to, I'll dip into my retirement." "Maybe if I can cut back on my anti-nausea medication or something..." "Absolutely not, Jo. You need it. It'll work out." I embrace her and then fix us some tea. I was just about to cash in some of my retirement when I got a callback for this new job. It pays a lot more than my previous job, has a better benefits package, and better hours. I can work from home or the hospital if I need to. My new boss lost his wife to cancer and understands what we're experiencing. It's great when things work out well.
So, this party was a celebration of a lot of things besides birthdays. I have a new job, and Jo got a good report from Dr. Hall. Although the cancer isn't shrinking, it's not growing either. This is her first good report ever. The cancer had been spreading, despite the chemo. The doctor put her on another type, which seems to be working. Unfortunately, the side effects are just as bad and her schedule's the same; once a month she goes in for a 24 hour dose, and once a week, the weeks she is not in the hospital, she gets a three hour dose. Usually the first day after her treatment is the worst, but the doctor prescribed her medications to help stave off the severest side effects. When the doctor told us the good news, we were estatic. Finally, we can see some light at the end of the tunnel. I said a prayer and thanked God and Lizzie.