Takogakure

Disclaimer: I dun have it... Chit!

)Summary: Self insertbad, crack, need I say more?(

"Ta, Takogakure!" you yelp. As every shinobi present looks down at you skeptically. You squirm uncomfortably from your already awkward position on top of a pink kunoichi. This morning you had been reading one of your many volumes of Naruto (Boy were they a bitch to pay for. Not that they weren't worth it, keke) . The next thing you know you were sailing through the sky, in an inevitable down course provided by none other than senior gravity. Thus you sit on top of Haruno Sakura who doesn't seem to feel much pleasure from your meeting of fate (Neji is your fav charac), the bitch.

"Takogakure?" a low voice echoed. The owner of the voice seemed to not even give notice to the girl that is playing 'mattress' under you.

"Ha, Hai!" You find yourself stuttering in front of the ebony eyes of Uchiha Sasuke, eyes that you have only seen in anime. GAWD was he sexy.

"Takogakure no Ika Surume?" You nod fervently at the cute voice of DUH DUM: UZUMAKI NARUTO!

"Heckuva funny name." The blonde muttered. Inwardly you whole heartedly agree but, how cool is the name Sara Brown? Surume, Ika from Takogakure, roughly translated it meant 'Dried squid, Squid from the village of the hidden octopus.'

'Great, I'm sure I won't stick out NOW' Hoping that no one suspects anything you look up hopefully at Hatake Kakashi (perhaps you'll be the first fan ever to see the unmasked face of the copy ninja! SQUEAL!) who hasn't even given you a single glance. But none the less you feel at ease, how shocking could 'dried squid squid' be when surrounded by a mispronounced round fan, a scarecrow and a ramen topping?

"Anyway Ika-san, you're in Konohagakure with out a passport, even if you say that you have no idea how you got here, I'm sorry but you'll have to go." Too lost in the bliss of hearing Kakashi's voice (in the flesh!) your mind registers the actual words a little too late.

"Na, NANI!" you yelp, bolting upright, ignoring the resounding crunch that came when you stepped on Sakura's face.

Three pairs of Shinobi eyes narrow as you show a possible chance of defiance.


'Think girl,' you will you self. 'think, you finally get a chance to be in Naruto, but if you let yourself get kicked out of Konoha, (which takes up all the screen time) and into a non-existant village of the hidden octopus you'll be a non-existent EXTRA! (Unless you get a chance to meet Itachi-sama, then you'll be a BLOODY non-existant extra.)' you pull at your hair as you try to think of an excuse to stay.

"Bu, But I dun have any weapons!" You finally blurt out. "How am I to get my village with my life intact?" You relax as the three ninjas nod at your reasoning. Thinking they'll let you stay (what a relief) you follow them to the village gates….. GATES!

Kakashi shoves you out the gates, then drops three holsters (Naruto's, Sasuke's and his own) into you're hands before turning to get back to Konoha. You feel yourself sagging under the sheer weight of the holsters

'The fuck! Why the hell do all the doujinka forget about the weight of these things? They ARE steel for god's sakes!' As you feel yourself getting a hernia you decide you must take action,

'Die PROUDLY!' You wail to yourself. right before the gates closed, you reach out to slam the lips of a startled Sasuke and Naruto together before screaming:

"SASUNARU FOREVER!" Then finally collapsing right before the gates of Konoha.

And so lies the body of dried squid squid from the village of the hidden octopus. Proud, forgotten yaoi fangirl. And of course just a wooden gate away from the body lies a moaning Naruto as Sasuke deepens the kiss. The virtue behind the crack: Self inserts only lead to bloody deaths.