Chapter 33

(Miranda continues writing)

The first semester of your dad and my sophomore year in high school was rather difficult. As predicted, people talked. They accused us of betraying Lizzie, which, of course, we felt like we did. We were really glad when final exams rolled around and passed. That meant we had a couple weeks to recuperate from all the stares and questions. What's really ironic is that Lizzie's mom, Jo, was our biggest supporter, well, besides your grandparents and aunt. Your Aunt Stevie was so excited when we told her she was going to be an aunt. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, Jo McGuire.

In order to tell you about how your dad and I chose your name, I must tell you about how Jo and I reconciled with each other. Marin was born not too long after we told the McGuires about you. Your dad and I went to the hospital to see the newest McGuire. We felt awkward about going up there, since they were upset with us, but we wanted to make peace with them. Perhaps we shouldn't have, but we did. Sam and Jo were polite, but formal. Fortunately Matt was gone when we came up, because he would have been furious.

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE

Gordo and Miranda knock on the door.

Jo: Come in. The couple hesitantly enters the room. Jo is holding Marin. Hi Gordo, Miranda. It's good to see you. Her facial expression betrays her, for she is not glad to see the couple. Sam does not say a word, but stares at Gordo.

Miranda: Approaches the bedside. Mrs. McGuire, she's beautiful.

Jo: Thank you.

Gordo: Hi, Mr. McGuire, Mrs. McGuire. He stares at Sam, scared of what he might say.

Jo: You can come closer. Gordo complies, and looks at the baby. He can't help but think that she looks a lot like Lizzie's baby pictures.

Miranda: How are you feeling?

Jo: I'm good, (looking at Marin,) aren't I sweetheart?

Miranda: Stammering, looking for the right words, I don't know if this is the right time or place, but I'm really sorry that Gordo and I hurt you. I know that us telling you about our baby really hurt you, but we felt you had a right to know.

Gordo: Uh, we didn't mean for it to happen.

Jo: Sighing in frustration. Gordo, Miranda, why are you here? If it's to rehash this, then please leave. We know you didn't intentionally hurt us, but you did. Maybe in the future, we can forgive you, but right now, I'm sorry I can't.

Sam: You two were Lizzie's best friends, and to see you as a couple, having a baby reminds us that our oldest daughter is not here, and she should be. I don't mean to be rude, but I think you two should leave.

Jo: I'm glad you stopped by. Really, I am. Her face softens.

Miranda: We'll go, but we brought something for the baby. She hands a gift bag to Jo.

Jo: Thanks. That was really sweet of you.

Miranda: You're welcome. What is her name?

Jo: Marin Faith. She opens the bag and pulls out a couple outfits. Oh, how cute! Look, Sam. She shows the outfits to her husband. Look at the one with the ducks. It's so sweet!

Gordo: It's a pretty name.

SEQUENCE ENDS

We didn't stay very long. Even though they were polite, it was a very uncomfortable visit. Your dad and Sam were able to reconcile around Halloween. Sam wanted to make a computer program which had a talking jack-o'lantern for the trick-or-treaters. He's not a programmer, but your father knows a thing or two about computers. So, they made up while working on the project. Matt would have no part of it. He was increasingly sullen. We heard things about him at school. He was getting in trouble, and not because of his usual pranks. He was cutting class, talking back to teachers, neglecting his homework, and the list goes on. I'm really surprised Lanny and Melina stuck by him. Well, they also began getting in trouble with him.

Jo was reluctant to talk to me, so I pretty much stayed away. I couldn't blame her at all. I don't know if I would've wanted to talk to me if I'd been in her shoes. However, we did get a chance to talk right after final exams. She had presents for us from Lizzie. It was almost a year since her death, so that means she purchased them sometime around the previous Christmas. That girl really loved to shop. I happened to come over with your father while he was working on another project with Sam. Jo came out to the porch, holding Marin….

SEQUENCE BEGINS

Jo: Hi Gordo, Miranda.

Gordo: Hey Mrs. McGuire.

Miranda: Hey.

Jo: Sam, could you take Marin?

Sam: Okay. Jo hands him the baby. I love you Jo, he whispers in her ear.

Jo: Miranda, can we talk?

Miranda: Uhh, sure. She follows her into the living room. They sit on the couch.

Jo: I want to apologize to you about how I have been treating you.

Miranda: What do you mean?

Jo: I've been so short with you and Gordo. I feel I've been rather mean to you both.

Miranda: I don't blame you at all. I mean, I think I'd have a hard time if my daughter's best friends hooked up after her death.

Jo: Looks her in the eyes. We've been so wrapped up in our own loss that we, I didn't even consider the fact that you lost your best friend. You must have been hurting a lot, and it's only natural that you turned to each other.

Miranda: Eyes downcast. Uh, yeah, I guess so. Becoming nervous. Seriously, we didn't do this intentionally, or to hurt you or Lizzie.

Jo: I know you didn't. We didn't make things easy for you guys either. We should've been more understanding. Can I confess something?

Miranda: Sure.

Jo: I was afraid that you and Gordo were going to have a girl. It felt like this baby was going to be a replacement Lizzie or something. I know that must sound crazy.

Miranda: No, not at all. Gordo and I have talked about that as we pick out names for this baby. I don't want the baby, if it's a girl, to be a replacement Lizzie either. Lizzie was my best friend, and no one could ever replace her.

Jo: So, what are you going to name the baby?

Miranda: If it's a boy, we want to name him David Zephyr Junior.

Jo: After his father. Good choice. Matt's middle name is Sam's middle name, Bryan. So, if it's a girl, what are you going to name her?

Miranda: We want to name her Elizabeth Miranda, and call her Lizzie.

Jo: After Lizzie. She trails off and becomes sad. A tear falls.

Miranda: Feeling guilty. I'm so sorry. Maybe we should reconsider.

Jo: Interrupting. No! No, I think Lizzie would have been pleased. She pauses. Lizzie. As it should be. Life must go on. Tears stream down her face. I'm really happy for you.

Miranda: Thank you. You don't know how much this means to me….

SEQUENCE ENDS

Miranda looks again at the picture of Jo holding baby Lizzie Gordon and then to the superimposed picture of Lizzie and Lizzie. "Oh Lizzie, I miss you. I'm sorry you felt you needed to end your life, but you've missed out on some incredible things. Your sisters and baby brother, your niece, and your best friends' children. What was so horrible that you felt you needed to end it all? I guess we'll never know, will we." She continues writing…

Lizzie, from that day on, the McGuires became some of our strongest supporters and friends. They were there when you and your brother were born, and we were there when the twins were born as well. We've shared so much together, the births of our children, Jo's cancer, Matt's drug use and recovery, your dad and my marriage, Matt and Melina's pregnancy and now birth of Bethany. Even though babies do not come with jobs, you were definitely a healing presence for us all. I love you so much sweetheart and although it hurt to lose Lizzie McGuire, I wouldn't trade anything, for if I did, I wouldn't have you or your brother.