Prompt (060) New Year
Jack, Daniel
"So what are your New Year's resolutions?"
"Jack…"
"Really, I want to know."
"I don't want to tell."
"How bad can they be, Daniel? I'll tell you mine if it'll make you feel better."
"Go ahead, but it won't."
"Number one: Have more sex. Number two: Drink more beer. And number three: Die less."
"Why is having sex above not dying?"
"Daniel, Daniel. Priorities. Sex is more important than living."
"You can't have sex if you're dead, Jack."
"Yes, well…sex is the only thing that makes life worthwhile."
"Only sex?"
"I can't say that hockey doesn't help, but sex is definitely at the top of the list."
"And you say I have my priorities screwed up."
"You do. For instance, what's keeping you from having sex right now?"
"I have to finish this translation. Hammond said he wanted it by tomorrow."
"See! You'd rather work than have sex. How is that not screwed up?"
"It's not that I don't want to have sex, it's that I can't right now."
"Because you value work more than sex."
"Because I—forget it. It's useless talking to you when you get like this."
"Like what?"
"Forget it."
"Fine, tough guy. What about your resolutions?"
"I already told you, I'm not telling you."
"But I told you mine."
"You can't—don't look at me like that!"
"Like what, Daniel?"
"Like that. All—all—sultry and slutty and—"
"Whoa, 'slutty'?"
"Yes. You look like a slut when you look at me like that."
"So you know what a male slut looks like. Tsk, tsk Daniel. I thought we were monogamous here."
"Jack, you know I'd never—!"
"Chill, Daniel. I know."
"Yeah, well…I'd never cheat on you like that."
"I know, Danny. I was just teasing you."
"I love you, Jack."
"I know. And since you love me so much, you'll tell me your New Year's resolutions, right?"
"Augh!"