Chapter 2: The start of a Journey of Things Rated R
"Pikachu?!" shouted Ash. "I get a rat Poke'mon? The same rats that I kill in my basement?" "Yep," said Oak. "But this one seems exceptionally powerful." "Screw it, it's still looks like a Poke-whore to me," said Ash.
Ash looked at the Pikachu. It glared up at him, and raised it's left paw. It then lowered all it's little fingers, except for the middle one.
Ash grinned. "I like him," said Ash. "Thanks Oak. We'll be going now." "Bu-bye now," said Oak lighting up his bong.
Ash walked out the door, and went outside to find Gary with his hands up the skirt of two cheerleaders. Ash shook his head and turned to his Pikachu.
"I like you," he said to it. "But if you ever flip me off again, I'll slice that tail off and use it for bait. You got it?" Pikachu nodded and then flipped him off again. "You're gonna find yourself without that damn finger unless you flip off people who get in my way!" shouted Ash. "If you be a good boy, I'll give you some crack."
Pikachu looked at him quizzically, but then turned around to face Gary, and flipped him off too.
"He's cool man!" said Gary enthusiastically. "I wonder If Squirtle will do that."
He took out a Poke'ball, and released Squirtle. Squirtle emerged from its Poke'ball, and promptly looked at Pikachu (who flipped it off). Squirtle ignored this, but walked up to the nearest cheerleader and looked up under her skirt. He then turned around to Gary and gave him a double- thumbs up.
"This is some goooood shit," said Gary gleefully. "Dammit, I want a perverted Poke'mon! Oh well. At least mine hates everything." Pikachu then turned around and flipped Ash off. "You know, I'm starting to like you more and more." Pikachu smiled and nodded, and then turned around and flipped off a passing old lady, who was staring at them. "Come on, Gary, let's hit the road!" said Ash. "An excellent idea, my good friend," said Gary.
Ash, Gary, Pikachu (flipping off the car), and Squirtle (trying to jump on a cheerleader) all got into Gary's shiny blue Ferrari. They started the engine, and the car, with flames coming out of its tailpipes, sped down the road out of town, mowing over the wild grass, sending Ratatta and Pidgey flying. Gary screeched to a halt, and he and Ash piled out of the car, with Pikachu flipping off a trainer nearby. Squirtle hung back, trying his best to find a way into the nearest cheerleader's bra.
"This is as good a place as any to terrify wild Poke'mon into being ours," said Gary. "Yeah, I see a Pidgey right over there trying to shit on a berry bush," said Ash. "I call dibs on that one. Here! Pikachu!"
Ash tossed a bong at Pikachu, who promptly sparked it on fire and threw it at the Pidgey. Pidgey, smelling the smoke coming off the bong, soon swiveled on the spot and fell to the ground twitching. Ash then threw a Poke'ball at the Pidgey, who disappeared into the ball. It didn't put up a fight; it was busy pecking itself.
"Hell yeah! I caught a Pidgey! With a bong! Go Pikachu!" shouted Ash. "Pikachu, you're the best." Pikachu smiled up at Ash, and then pounced on him and stole his bag of crack. "You ass!" shouted Ash, but the Pikachu just flipped him off, rolled up and lit a bong, and then tossed the rest of the crack back at Ash. Pikachu then threw the bong to Gary, who chucked at a male Nidoran, who imitated Pidgey. Gary then caught him with ease. "Thanks, bong-master!" said Gary. "You're the best with this shit! And you don't even smoke it! Ash, you got the best Poke'mon!" "Daazright!" said Ash proudly, waving at Pikachu. But it just flipped him off. "I guess it's your way of saying thanks, eh?" Pikachu nodded, while it flipped him off again. "Let's go!" shouted Gary. "We got what we came for. Let's press onto Viridian City. I'm hungry, and we need some more crack. I have the feeling that we can catch anything as long as we have Pikachu." "Yeah, and your Squirtle can track down the hottest bitches in town," said Ash. "We're the best!"
Ash, Gary, Squirtle (who was trying its best to hit on the lady next to them) and Pikachu (who flipped off the cafeteria lady) were just getting some hot soup for dinner at a rest stop along the road. They were tired and were resting their stoned Poke'mon at the healing station nearby. They went and sat down at the nearest booth and began to eat (Pikachu flipped off his soup before slurping it).
"Ah, this is the life," said Gary. "You said it," said Ash. Then, one of the cheerleaders came in and bent down to Squirtle. "How's your soup?" she asked. Squirtle showed her the OK sign and then flicked her right tit. She smiled and walked away.
"You gotta knock that off," said Ash. "Hey shut the fuck up, my Squirtle's got a right mind," said Gary. Pikachu then flipped off both Gary and Squirtle. "Pikachu has made his vote, and he agrees with me," said Ash. He was proved wrong, however, when Pikachu flipped him off with both paws. "Famous last words, you sorry bastard!" said Gary, finishing his soup.
Pikachu had been too busy warming up its middle fingers; it hadn't even started on its soup. It reached over the table and grabbed the bottle of Tabasco. Dumping a bit of the soup on Squirtle's head, Pikachu made up for the lost soup by filling it to that level with Tabasco. It then drank, that's right, drank the soup.
"I think I'm in love," said Ash. "Fag," said Gary. Pikachu flipped Ash off. "Let's go," said Ash. "We've got to get to Viridian soon, I have to meet my contact. He has a fresh shipment of crack."
Pikachu lit up at these words, and led the rest of the group to the car, where they found the cheerleaders surrounded by guys, all drooling over them.
Squirtle, red in the face and furious, charged to the front of the group, and then spoke.
"Hey screw off, these are my bitches," it shouted, using Water Gun on each of the boys. They were sent flying into nearby trees. "WHOA!" said Gary. "That's the illest shit I've ever seen, son! My Squirtle can talk! Best that, Pikachu!" "Fuck you, man-whore! I can talk too!" shouted Pikachu.
Ash and Gary both looked at each other, wide grins across each of their faces, and then they looked at their Poke'mon.
"FUCK YES!!!" Then Pikachu shouted, "THIS CALLS FOR BEER!!!!"
"Pikachu?!" shouted Ash. "I get a rat Poke'mon? The same rats that I kill in my basement?" "Yep," said Oak. "But this one seems exceptionally powerful." "Screw it, it's still looks like a Poke-whore to me," said Ash.
Ash looked at the Pikachu. It glared up at him, and raised it's left paw. It then lowered all it's little fingers, except for the middle one.
Ash grinned. "I like him," said Ash. "Thanks Oak. We'll be going now." "Bu-bye now," said Oak lighting up his bong.
Ash walked out the door, and went outside to find Gary with his hands up the skirt of two cheerleaders. Ash shook his head and turned to his Pikachu.
"I like you," he said to it. "But if you ever flip me off again, I'll slice that tail off and use it for bait. You got it?" Pikachu nodded and then flipped him off again. "You're gonna find yourself without that damn finger unless you flip off people who get in my way!" shouted Ash. "If you be a good boy, I'll give you some crack."
Pikachu looked at him quizzically, but then turned around to face Gary, and flipped him off too.
"He's cool man!" said Gary enthusiastically. "I wonder If Squirtle will do that."
He took out a Poke'ball, and released Squirtle. Squirtle emerged from its Poke'ball, and promptly looked at Pikachu (who flipped it off). Squirtle ignored this, but walked up to the nearest cheerleader and looked up under her skirt. He then turned around to Gary and gave him a double- thumbs up.
"This is some goooood shit," said Gary gleefully. "Dammit, I want a perverted Poke'mon! Oh well. At least mine hates everything." Pikachu then turned around and flipped Ash off. "You know, I'm starting to like you more and more." Pikachu smiled and nodded, and then turned around and flipped off a passing old lady, who was staring at them. "Come on, Gary, let's hit the road!" said Ash. "An excellent idea, my good friend," said Gary.
Ash, Gary, Pikachu (flipping off the car), and Squirtle (trying to jump on a cheerleader) all got into Gary's shiny blue Ferrari. They started the engine, and the car, with flames coming out of its tailpipes, sped down the road out of town, mowing over the wild grass, sending Ratatta and Pidgey flying. Gary screeched to a halt, and he and Ash piled out of the car, with Pikachu flipping off a trainer nearby. Squirtle hung back, trying his best to find a way into the nearest cheerleader's bra.
"This is as good a place as any to terrify wild Poke'mon into being ours," said Gary. "Yeah, I see a Pidgey right over there trying to shit on a berry bush," said Ash. "I call dibs on that one. Here! Pikachu!"
Ash tossed a bong at Pikachu, who promptly sparked it on fire and threw it at the Pidgey. Pidgey, smelling the smoke coming off the bong, soon swiveled on the spot and fell to the ground twitching. Ash then threw a Poke'ball at the Pidgey, who disappeared into the ball. It didn't put up a fight; it was busy pecking itself.
"Hell yeah! I caught a Pidgey! With a bong! Go Pikachu!" shouted Ash. "Pikachu, you're the best." Pikachu smiled up at Ash, and then pounced on him and stole his bag of crack. "You ass!" shouted Ash, but the Pikachu just flipped him off, rolled up and lit a bong, and then tossed the rest of the crack back at Ash. Pikachu then threw the bong to Gary, who chucked at a male Nidoran, who imitated Pidgey. Gary then caught him with ease. "Thanks, bong-master!" said Gary. "You're the best with this shit! And you don't even smoke it! Ash, you got the best Poke'mon!" "Daazright!" said Ash proudly, waving at Pikachu. But it just flipped him off. "I guess it's your way of saying thanks, eh?" Pikachu nodded, while it flipped him off again. "Let's go!" shouted Gary. "We got what we came for. Let's press onto Viridian City. I'm hungry, and we need some more crack. I have the feeling that we can catch anything as long as we have Pikachu." "Yeah, and your Squirtle can track down the hottest bitches in town," said Ash. "We're the best!"
Ash, Gary, Squirtle (who was trying its best to hit on the lady next to them) and Pikachu (who flipped off the cafeteria lady) were just getting some hot soup for dinner at a rest stop along the road. They were tired and were resting their stoned Poke'mon at the healing station nearby. They went and sat down at the nearest booth and began to eat (Pikachu flipped off his soup before slurping it).
"Ah, this is the life," said Gary. "You said it," said Ash. Then, one of the cheerleaders came in and bent down to Squirtle. "How's your soup?" she asked. Squirtle showed her the OK sign and then flicked her right tit. She smiled and walked away.
"You gotta knock that off," said Ash. "Hey shut the fuck up, my Squirtle's got a right mind," said Gary. Pikachu then flipped off both Gary and Squirtle. "Pikachu has made his vote, and he agrees with me," said Ash. He was proved wrong, however, when Pikachu flipped him off with both paws. "Famous last words, you sorry bastard!" said Gary, finishing his soup.
Pikachu had been too busy warming up its middle fingers; it hadn't even started on its soup. It reached over the table and grabbed the bottle of Tabasco. Dumping a bit of the soup on Squirtle's head, Pikachu made up for the lost soup by filling it to that level with Tabasco. It then drank, that's right, drank the soup.
"I think I'm in love," said Ash. "Fag," said Gary. Pikachu flipped Ash off. "Let's go," said Ash. "We've got to get to Viridian soon, I have to meet my contact. He has a fresh shipment of crack."
Pikachu lit up at these words, and led the rest of the group to the car, where they found the cheerleaders surrounded by guys, all drooling over them.
Squirtle, red in the face and furious, charged to the front of the group, and then spoke.
"Hey screw off, these are my bitches," it shouted, using Water Gun on each of the boys. They were sent flying into nearby trees. "WHOA!" said Gary. "That's the illest shit I've ever seen, son! My Squirtle can talk! Best that, Pikachu!" "Fuck you, man-whore! I can talk too!" shouted Pikachu.
Ash and Gary both looked at each other, wide grins across each of their faces, and then they looked at their Poke'mon.
"FUCK YES!!!" Then Pikachu shouted, "THIS CALLS FOR BEER!!!!"