Chapter 38

Marin turns a year old and the twins are born.

Mom had the twins yesterday. So, my little brother and sisters all share the same birthday. That's pretty cool I suppose. Mom went into labor right in the middle of Marin's birthday party. Dad rushed her to the hospital, so Gammy McGuire, Nana, Grandpa Chuck, Aunt Dianne and I had to finish up the party and take care of Marin. All in all, I guess it wasn't so bad, but Gordo and Miranda had to show up for the party. Mom and dad have gotten all chummy with them. Whose best friends are Gordo and Miranda? Lizzie's or mom and dad's? Mom especially loves to play with Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda's kid. I think she's a spoiled little brat. They cater to her. She's younger than Marin, but takes Marin's toys away from her all the time. Except for the Gordon family showing up, Marin's party was pretty okay, I suppose. She was cute blowing out her candle and punching her fist into her cake. Mom was happy; it's the first time I've seen her happy in a long time. Plus, with her cancer and pregnancy, she hasn't felt too good either. So, if mom's happy, I'm happy.

Like when Marin was born, the grandparents took me up to the hospital to see the newest McGuires, while Aunt Dianne stayed home with Marin. Finally, I got a brother! Dad says Ben looks like I did when I was born. I think I'll call him "Mini Me." Finally, I've got a brother that I can teach stuff to, like the many uses of silicone and where to procure said substance, or the mechanics of taking the wheels off a teacher's desk without disturbing the contents on top of the desk. Brooke's cute too, so at least Marin has a playmate. They can do all the girly stuff together, I guess. Mom looked really tired. After popping out two babies in a row, I guess she has the right to be tired.

Six weeks later; Jo comes home from having her first chemotherapy treatment.

Dad brought mom home from the hospital today. They were back when I got home from school. Yes, I actually went to school today. Since mom and dad have enough on their plate with the twins and her cancer, I decided to play it straight for awhile. My grades have always been good, so they haven't noticed half the stuff I've been into. I think I'll keep it that way.

I went upstairs and peeked in mom and dad's room. Mom was asleep. She was so pale; she looked almost dead. I've never seen her look so sick before. What the hell are they giving her? It can't be good for her.

Anyway, I snuck back up to the attic right after supper. I was the only one who ate. Mom was too nauseous, and dad wasn't hungry. I heard mom and dad in their bedroom. G-d, this sucks for mom.

SEQUENCE BEGINS

Jo is sleeping, curled up in her blankets. Suddenly a wave of nausea hits and she startles awake. She turns green and dashes into the bathroom. She barely makes it before she empties the contents of her stomach. Sam hears her and is immediately by her side. He holds her hair back, while she finishes.

Jo: Sam, help me! Tears stream down her face.

Sam holds his wife and gently pats her face with a cool cloth.

Jo: Not again! She throws up again, ending with dry heaves. She begins crying.

Sam: Let me help you into bed.

Jo: Okay. She states weakly.

Sam helps her up, walks her to the bed, and tucks her in. He lays down beside her.

Jo: Sam, I can't do this! She moans between sobs.

Sam: We'll get through this together.

Jo: What if I don't make it?

Sam: Jo, we've discussed this before.

Jo: No, we haven't. She looks him directly in the eyes. I'm serious. The mortality rate for this particular cancer is high, even with treatment.

Sam: Let's not go there.

Jo: I just want everything to be lined up, just in case.

Sam: You're not gonna die.

Jo: Becoming agitated. There are no guarantees.

Sam: I can't lose you. I've already lost my oldest daughter. You're my life.

Jo: I just wanna know that you'll be okay if I don't make it.

Sam: We'll be fine.

Jo: Are you sure? I'm worried about Matt.

Sam: Why? He's doing well in school; he's actually going to school.

Jo: I'm still worried. Rushes back into the bathroom. Dammit!

Sam stays by her side.

Jo: G-d! There's nothing left! She cries between gags. Sam, hold me.

Sam holds his wife. She falls asleep in his arms, and he carries her back to bed. Shortly thereafter, Sam falls asleep.

SEQUENCE ENDS

G-d, I hope mom makes it! I can't lose my mom! Lizzie's dead. I don't wanna lose anyone else. Is this the way it's gonna be? Mom has always been so strong. I hate seeing her like this. Matt begins crying.

Christmas Day

Christmas was okay, I guess. It was quiet, like last Christmas. Marin provided some comic relief. She is old enough to play in the wrapping paper and bows, so I decided it would be great fun to cover her in bows. Then, I covered the twins in bows. I've gotten into photography, so I snapped bunches of pictures of Marin and the twins, especially covered in bows. Mom and dad liked the pictures and photo collages I framed for them. I made pictures of Marin and the twins with me, mom, and dad, and found pictures of me and Lizzie when we were babies. Mom was so touched, she cried.

Speaking of mom, she looks so fragile now. She stayed curled up on the couch for most of the day, but she did muster enough strength to help the twins open their presents and for a few family photos. I made Christmas dinner, and mom managed to eat a few bites. Since mom's been sick, dad and I have taken over the chores. I've learned how to cook, and actually, I really like it. My specialty is beef burgundy with onions, potatoes, and mushrooms.

Gordo, Miranda, and Lizzie came over today. They've been over a lot since mom got sick. They're a help to mom, so I guess I can be civil. Gordo tried to strike up a conversation with me. I just humoured him.

SEQUENCE BEGINS

Matt is outside, sitting on the back steps. Gordo looks out the sliding glass door, and sees him by himself. He opens the door and sits beside him.

Gordo: May I join you?

Matt: I guess so. He shrugs his shoulders.

Gordo: How are you?

Matt: Fine.

Gordo: Are you sure? You don't look fine.

Matt: I'm fine.

Gordo: I'm sorry about your mom.

Matt: Yeah. Thanks.

Gordo: It must be hard on you.

Matt: Becoming irritated. Don't try to play psychiatrist on me! You don't know the half of it. Your mom's healthy. She doesn't have cancer.

Gordo: She had cancer when I was little. I know what it's like.

Matt: No, you don't! So your mom had cancer. Did your older sister kill herself? Has your mom been so overcome with grief that she fainted at her daughter's graveside? Did you get three siblings in the span of a year? Have you been awakened in the middle of the night, hearing your mother be sick and your dad trying to give her a measure of comfort? Have you seen your dad on the verge of losing it, because he can't help his wife? Gordo stays silent. I didn't think so. So until you experience those things, don't tell me you know what it's like, because you don't.

Gordo: I'm sorry. No, I don't know what it's like.

Matt: Yeah. Okay. But your life is so perfect. You've got your perfect little family, you, Miranda, and your baby.

Gordo: My life isn't perfect.

Matt: Sarcastic. Right.

Gordo: It isn't. I know you lost your older sister, but I lost my girlfriend, my best friend since I can remember.

Matt: So you jump in the sack with her other best friend. Snorts. Some boyfriend you turned out to be.

Gordo: I guess I deserved that. Becomes agitated. Do you know how guilty I feel? Do you know what I would do to bring her back? I wouldn't trade my daughter, but I'd move heaven and earth to bring her back if I could. I feel like such a loser, because I couldn't stop her. I wish I knew why she did it. I'm telling you the truth when I say I don't know why she did it. I would've tried to stop her, you know that, right?

Matt: I guess so.

Gordo: Matt, you're my best friend's little brother. I want to be your friend and help you, if you'd let me.

Matt: Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

Gordo: Tell me what's going on?

Matt: Nothing's going on!

Gordo: You're sullen, moody, not to mention rude to everyone. You're different. Where's the whacky Matt that I used to know?

Matt: I guess he's all grown up.

Gordo: I don't think that's it.

Matt: Fine. He gets up. I'm outta here. Tell mom and dad I've gone on a walk. He leaves the yard and goes on a walk.

SEQUENCE ENDS

I don't know what's up with Gordo. Since he became a father, he thinks he knows everything. He is all "more superior-than-thou". He used to be just a bit arrogant, but he's worse than ever. He acts all grown up. Becoming a teenaged father doesn't make one all of a sudden, all grown up. He thinks he knows everything about me, but he doesn't know the half of it. My life sucks! It's bad enough that Lizzie was a coward, but mom's sick and might die too. I can't lose her too! I love my mom. I don't know what I'd do without her. Yeah, she rides my case a lot, but I guess I deserve it. Still, I love her. She's my mom.

I wish Lanny and Melina weren't out of town. I'd ask them to hang out with me. I got some new plants and have learned how to roll my own. It's pretty easy. That way, we won't have to buy any from Clark Benson. Who knew he'd get into pot? He was always so geeky in school. He's the last person I thought would do pot. Now, he sells it and is making a mint. I don't think his stuff is that good anyway. I found some plants growing in the park, so I dug up a few. Lanny, Melina, and I found some information on how to grow and roll one's own on the internet. I'm growing them in the cave I dug a few years ago. Mom found out about the cave, and forbid me from using it again. She said it was too dangerous. So, she doesn't suspect I still use it. It's perfect for growing the plants, and best yet, it's a good way to get me away from the house. I dry it in my other refuge, the attic. I set up a lab there to dry and roll the stuff.

Looks at his watch. I guess I better get back. Dad will be wondering where I am. I hope Gordo and his little family are gone. I hate pretending to be nice to them. But since they've been really helpful to mom, I'll be nice.