The Ferrari, deemed "pimp-mobile" by Squirtle, streaked into the city, and screeched to a halt in front of the Poke'mon center. Squirtle had managed to fall out of the tree, and had met the pimp-mobile outside of the Poke'mon Center. Ash, Gary, and Squirtle put on their shades, and stepped out of the car.
Ash, feeling like a gentleman, opened the door for Misty, who thanked him and stepped out of the car. Pikachu hopped down, and flipped off one of the rear tires. Gary, checking to see that they were all ready, led the group. But they weren't going to the local Poke'mon center.
Gary turned them away and they went towards the Poke'mon House, a former battle arena, now town bar.
"Why are we going there? Don't we need to go to the Poke'mon Center to heal our Poke'mon?" asked Misty.
"Screw that!" said Squirtle, tapping its shades down so it could see Misty. "That makes me look like a wuss. Besides, the only reason I'd go there now is so that hot chick behind the counter could pick me up." Misty just shook her head while Gary nodded his approval.
They finally reached the bar. Pikachu flipped off the sign hanging from the door, and with good reason. It read:
No Loose Poke'mon allowed inside
No Minors
Because of this, Gary, Ash, and even Misty joined Pikachu in flipping off the sign. Then, Pikachu ushered everybody back. He then did his little vertical wave good-bye, and flip off, and then shot the door off with Thunder. It flew onto the roof of a nearby house, and all the people inside the bar grew quiet.
Only one thought went through the peoples' minds: "This was one bad-ass Pikachu." Ash, Misty, Gary, Squirtle, and Pikachu swaggered into the bar, trying to look cool. As soon as Pikachu got fed up with all the stares, and did his little wave again, people either started talking Gibberish or fell off their chairs. Pikachu flipped them off for all to see, and then led the way up to the bar itself.
"A glass each of your finest for my road-weary friends here," said Ash to the bartender.
Not wanting to piss off his Pikachu, the bartender compiled without question, and went to get the drinks. Misty picked Squirtle up and put him onto a stool, while Squirtle grinned. Pikachu hopped up onto a stool by himself, and Ash, Gary, and Misty were soon to follow.
"Is anyone hungry?" asked Gary.
"Me," said everyone else. Gary, being rich enough to buy his own Ferrari, asked the bartender for a pizza-sized platter of cheesy steak fries, as tall "as a Tauros's pile of shit", described Ash. The bartender shook his head, but went to get the order all the same.
"Dude, I'm fucking stoned," said Ash, swiveling on the spot.
"Stuffed, Ash, you're stuffed," corrected Misty.
"That too," said Ash, passing out.
"Oh, Jesus Mary Mother o' Christ," said Misty. "Help me pick him up."
"I'll help you in case you fall," said Squirtle hopefully.
"Nice try, but the only way you'll ever touch my ass is if I need a cushion to sit on," replied Misty, picking Ash up.
"Damn," said Squirtle.
Misty carried Ash to the car, and set him in the back seat. Ash woke up as soon as his head hit the leather, and he sat bolt upright.
"Nice rack," he muttered. "Can I set my bongs on it?"
"Thank you, and no," said Misty.
"Am I stoned?" asked Ash.
"Yeah," said Gary.
"Weird!" said Ash. "I only smoked one joint."
"Yeah, but you were seeing seven of us by the time you got done with your fifth vodka," said Misty.
"Oh, my bad," said Ash.
All of a sudden, Pidgey popped out its Poke'ball, and, from Ash's point of view, began to peck his balls. Ash's eyes went wide, his mouth formed an "O", and he screamed as loud as he could, which scared Pidgey back into its Poke'ball.
"My nuts! Oh god, my nuts! I'm awake! I'm sober! Owwwwwww!" wailed Ash, holding his crotch. "That fucking Pidgey! I'm gonna stuff its head into the nearest power station, and use its beak for a toothpick! Oh fuck! It hurts. I think I'm bleeding."
"Ash . . . Pidgey got your knee, not your balls," said Gary simply.
Ash looked down. "Oops," he said, giggling. "Must've been a cramp. My bad."
"Balls? The ones on your belt that are red and white?" said Squirtle, chortling.
"Fuck off, man-whore, I've scored more than you!" snapped Ash, starting to cry.
"He's still stoned," said Misty. "Come on Gary. Let's go back to the Poke'mon center so he can sleep it off."
"Good idea," said Gary. "And keep him away from Nurse Joy. He'll start sleep-fucking her."
"Bullshit, I'm going to the police station. I want Jenny," slurred Ash. "Right after I get done with you, Misty," he added.
"In your dreams," said Misty.
"That too," said Ash. "You promised, though."
"In your dreams!" she snapped.
"Oooh yeah," said Ash, looking disappointed. Then, he muttered to himself, "Bullshit. You know you want me." Misty finally chuckled and shook her head. Then they went into the center.