Chapter 41

Sophomore year.

Next year's my last year in high school. I'm glad; I hate this place. Lizzie was supposed to be a senior and graduate with her friends next year, but no, she's dead. Instead, Gordo and Miranda had another baby, David Junior, last year, and got married over the summer. They seem so cozy. Marin was the flower girl at their wedding. It should've been Lizzie's wedding. Lizzie should've been getting married to Gordo, not Miranda. Yeah, I went to the wedding, but I didn't want to. I went because mom wanted me to, so I took care of Brooke and Ben. Whatever makes mom happy, I'll do; she's gone through a lot, and I don't want to add to anything bad. Too late, I suppose. Dad's distant; he moved back in, and then out, and then in again. I'm tired of his flip-flopping. I wish he'd either stay or leave. I can take care of mom. He got a better job, which helped, but they still fight a lot. I can't take it anymore.

So, I go to school. I don't cut classes (well, much), and since Melina, Lanny, and I are graduating early, we haven't gotten too many detentions. My grades are high, so mom and dad don't suspect a thing. I've made my own college fund by dealing. My plants are doing well, and Melina, Lanny, and I set up a lab in the cave. If I manage not to blow it sky high, then I'll be doing all right. I've had a couple close calls. Lanny got his eyebrows singed. So, I've been able to afford some neat stuff, that's for sure. Mom and dad think I got a job at the grocery store. I've got a car, a tricked out entertainment system for my room, complete with TV, stereo system, and surround sound. I've got a slammin' bachelor pad, that's for sure. The cave's pretty tight too.

One day, I got home from school. Mom and dad were sitting on the living room couch. I walked in the door….

SEQUENCE BEGINS

Matt: I'm gonna go hang out with Lanny and Melina.

Sam: We gotta talk.

Matt: Stops in his tracks. Uh, okaaay?

Jo: Come, sit down. She pats a section of the couch.

Matt: So, whaddya wanna talk about? Do you have to go back into the hospital?

Jo: No. We need to talk about you.

Matt: Me? What did I do?

Sam: Your mother and I are worried about you.

Matt: He frowns. Why?

Sam: I'm just gonna cut to the chase. Have you been doing drugs?

Matt: Angered. What?

Sam: You come in smelling like smoke. Sometimes you come in late, or leave at odd times. Also, I've noticed your room's all tricked out.

Matt: Dad, I work at Don's Grocer's. That's why my hours are odd. I make my own money. Can't I buy my own things?

Jo: Of course you can, but that's not the point.

Matt: So, what is the point?

Jo: I'm sorry I haven't been able to give you the attention you deserve. If I hadn't had cancer, maybe I could've given you more attention.

Matt: Mom, it's fine. I don't feel neglected.

Sam: Lemme smell your jacket.

Matt: What? Dad, that's weird.

Sam: I'm not kidding. Hand it over. Matt does as instructed, and Sam takes a whiff. This smells like pot.

Jo: Tears well up in her eyes. Matt, why?

Sam: Is that all you're doing?

Matt: Okay! I do pot! Big deal! It's no worse than cigarettes.

Jo: It IS a bit deal, Matt. It's illegal. You're not old enough to buy cigarettes anyway.

Sam: Where do you get it?

Matt: It's easy to get. There's a bunch of plants in the park.

Jo: Do you, do you sell it?

Matt: I have, some.

Jo: Tears stream down her face. Matt! Begins yelling. You could go to jail for that!

Sam: I don't want to see you throwing your life away.

Matt: Okay! I get it. Sighs and rolls his eyes.

Sam: And furthermore, we know you don't work at Don's Grocer's. So, you're either dealing a lot, or your stealing this stuff.

Matt: I'm not stealing! I don't steal! You taught me not to steal.

Jo: And we taught you not to do drugs, but you are. Raises her voice.You're a dealer, Matt!

Matt: Fine, I won't deal anymore!

Sam: We don't want you to do drugs either. Do we need to send you to rehab?

Matt: No! Offended. I can quit on my own. I don't smoke much anyway.

Jo: Hugs her son. I love you. I just want you to be healthy and happy.

Matt: I love you too. Can I go? I've got homework.

Sam: You're grounded for a month, by the way.

Matt: Fine.

SEQUENCE ENDS

I felt bad for snowing mom (I didn't care about snowing dad), but I had to. I had a good thing going; I wasn't about to ruin it. I worked on my homework the rest of the evening; I didn't think I should push it sneaking out. So, later that night, I went up to the attic. Mom and dad were discussing me.

SEQUENCE BEGINS

Jo is lying in bed, crying. Sam comes in and gets ready for bed.

Jo: I can't believe it! My baby boy's doing drugs. Tears stream down her face. How long has this been going on?

Sam: I think it's been going on for awhile now.

Jo: Why didn't I see it? My baby was in trouble, and I didn't see it.

Sam: I don't think he wanted you to see it.

Jo: I feel like such a bad mother.

Sam: Jo, don't beat yourself up. You're a great mother.

Jo: Sits up and looks her husband in the eyes. I don't even know my own kids! There was something up with Lizzie, and she killed herself! I didn't even know that she was in trouble. Then, I find her in her bed, dead! She raises her voice. I've missed out on so much of Marin, Ben and Brooke's lives because of this stupid cancer! Now, Matt is a drug dealer! She cries harder. Why didn't I know? I'm their mother. I should know what's going on in my children's' lives!

Sam: Pulls his wife into an embrace. You didn't get cancer on purpose.

Jo: But I've missed so much! I don't know my babies.

Sam: I missed the signs with Lizzie, and I wasn't sure about Matt. I'm no stellar father.

Jo: What are we gonna do? I don't wanna send him away.

Sam: We'll start with random drug tests. If he fails them, we'll check him into rehab. If worst comes to worst, we'll move. We'll find a place for Matt to start over if he needs to.

Jo: Oh Sam, I'm scared for him.

Sam: Me too.

SEQUENCE ENDS

I feel like such a louse. I've caused mom more pain. She's had enough pain in her life. First Lizzie, and then her cancer, now me. I could just kick myself. Maybe I should quit dealing. It takes work to deal. I'll let Clark Benson have my customers. I'll save my stash for me, Lanny and Melina, for special occasions.

Jo's in remission

The chemotherapy started working for mom, and she finally went into remission. The tumors had been shrinking in the last year, but she still had to take chemo. They got home from the doctor's office. I was watching TV after school.

SEQUENCE BEGINS

Sam: "How are the kids?"

Matt: "They're asleep. Marin's been down for a couple hours and the twins for an hour."

Jo: "Sam, I'm going to go check on the kids; I'll be right back." As she goes upstairs, Matt looks at Sam puzzled.

Matt: "Is mom okay? What did the doctor say?"

Sam: "She wants to tell you herself."

Matt: Looking concerned, "She's not gonna die, is she?"

Sam: "No, she's not."

Jo comes back downstairs with Marin, who is in between being asleep and being awake.

Sam: "Jo, let me take her." She passes her over and the four sit on the couch.

Matt: "Mom, what's going on?" asks concerned.

Jo: "The doctor said that I'm in remission. The tumors are gone!" she grins from ear to ear.

Matt: Eyes brighten, "You mean, the cancer's gone?"

Jo: "Yes!" she nods.

Matt: "So, you're not gonna die?" A tear escapes his eye.

Jo: "No, I'm not." Tears stream down her face.

Matt hugs his mother. It's the first time in a long time.

SEQUENCE ENDS

I couldn't believe it. Mom's gonna make it. The cancer'sgone!She'll only have to go through another couple months of chemotherapy, then she won't have to take that vile stuff again. I've been so worried about her. I hugged her pretty tight, and I didn't wanna let go. I was afraid that if I let go, this would all be a dream, and she'd be dead.